Imithetho yokuheha, noma yini esiyifuna ngempela ukuthola "ubuso" bobulili obuhlukile?

Umlando wobudlelwane obuseduze phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane wazalwa ngisho nasezikhungweni zokuqala zengqondo emadodeni ethu asekude amakhulu ezinkulungwane zeminyaka edlule. Ngomunye umuntu, umlando wobudlelwane phakathi kwabesilisa bakhe nawo uguqukile. Kodwa, naphezu komlando omude walezi zobudlelwane, imizwa kanye nemizwelo eya ocansini obuhlukileko kusekelwe emvelweni nemigomo yemithetho yabo yasendulo.

Manje lo muntu uthuthukisa izidingo ezingaphezulu, okumele ukuthi kube ngokoqobo kumlingani wakhe. I-Psychology ilokhu izama ukusiyisa ezweni lemisha, imithetho yamanga, imithetho nemibono. Ngamunye wethu uqala kancane ukukhohlwa ngezidingo zabo zangempela, ezifakwe ezakhiweni zomzimba ngisho nasezikhathini zakudala zakudala. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umphakathi nomqondo wengqondo awusakhuthuki kangakanani, imvelo izohlale isichazela izinqumo zayo ekukhethweni kwanoma yiziphi izithakazelo zomuntu noma izithakazelo, futhi ngisho nakakhulu ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwabesilisa ababili.

Ngakho-ke, masizame ukuqonda nawe ukuthi impilo yomuntu nendoda ishintshile kanjani (uma kunjalo) kusukela esikhathini sokuqala kokuzalwa kwayo? Ngenxa yalokhu ngiphakamisela ukuhlukanisa ngokushesha izigaba eziyinhloko zokuphila nobuhlobo zibe ngamaqembu ahlukene nezigaba. Noma iyiphi indaba yendoda nowesifazana iqala njalo ngokuphola.

Bese kulandela ukuhlaziywa okuningiliziwe nokuhlolwa komunye nomunye. Uma konke kuhamba kahle, lo mbhangqwana uya esiteji esilandelayo - ungene esondweni bese uhlala ndawonye. Yileyo ndlela indaba yokwahlukana okuphumelelayo phakathi kwesilisa wesilisa nowesifazane wesifazane lakhiwa. Futhi njengakho konke kwakhiwe kulezi zinsuku zasendulo, okuvela kulo ukuthi sibala ukuqala kobuhlobo njengalo lonke! Konke kufana ngokuphelele! Umuntu, njengangaphambili, ukhetha umlingani wakhe, encike kuphela kumama - imvelo.

Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu akhulumi kangakanani ngokuthandwa kwakhe, ukunambitha nokufana, uhlala ekhetha kuphela ngemvume yemvelo. Nguye owabeka izindlela eziyinhloko kithi, ukugcina kuphela okuyokwenza kube nenjabulo yangempela ngokuphathelene nendoda noma yowesifazane.

Ake sizame ukuthola izici zabantu eziyinhloko, ukuthi kukhona okusiholela esimweni sengqondo sobulili obuhlukile kithi ngokujabula ngokugcwele.
  1. Ukuheha ngokomzimba. Kuboniswa ekubukeni komuntu, ukuzinakekela kwakhe, isikhumba sabo.
  2. Ukuheha umqondo. Kubonakala ukuthi kungakanani umuntu angathanda abanye abantu abanekhono lakhe lokucabanga. Into eyaziwa kakhulu ukuthi izindawo eziyinhloko eziyingozi ezikuzobuchopho bomuntu. Sibiza abantu abathakazelisayo abathanda ukuhlola izwe, bathanda ukuba nesithakazelo ezinhlobonhlobo ezihlukahlukene kulo.
  3. Ukukhanga ngokomzwelo. Lo mhlaba uhambelana nabantu abakwazi ukuvula umphefumulo wabo nomhlaba wangaphakathi kwabanye, bekulungele ukukhombisa amandla abo angokomzwelo. Abantu abanjalo bayakwazi ukujabula, ukuhleka, ukukhombisa imizwelo yabo.
  4. Ubuntu bomuntu. Lokhu kuhlanganiswa kwezimfanelo zomuntu siqu, imizwa yakhe kanye nezakhiwo, okuyisici nje salowo muntu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi bakuthola kunzima ukuthola amagama. Phakathi kwemizwa enjalo: ukuzihlonipha, ukuzethemba kanye nokuziphatha kwabanye abantu.
Nazi izindawo eziyinhloko zomuntu ngamunye. Ubukhulu bentuthuko ngayinye yazo inquma ukuthi yikuphi ubuhlobo bayo nobuhlobo bobulili obuhlukile. Inhlanganisela ekahle yowesilisa nowesifazane inzeka kuphela lapho ibhalansi yazo zonke izilinganiso nemibono yabantu engenhla isesimweni esifanayo sokuthuthukiswa kokubili.

Yiqiniso, kunamaqiniso asuselwe ngokwesayensi ukuthi inhlanganisela ephelele yabantu ababili inganikezwa kuphela ukuthi iyahambisana ngokugcwele ngokocansi. Lolu lwazi alukude neze neqiniso, kodwa isiteji sokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane bomuntu, sidlulela ezingeni lokunethezeka ngokocansi, lilandela njalo emva kokuqala nokulungiswa kwazo zonke izinyathelo esizichazile. Sinawe ngokuningiliziwe sesiye saqonda, ukuthi zonke izinthonya ezifanayo ukuxhumana futhi kungenzeka inzalo owesilisa nowesifazane.