Ake sinike isibonelo, owesifazane oneminyaka engu-35 utshela ukuthi washada nomuntu oneminyaka engama-30. Ngaphambi komshado, bahlangana iminyaka engaba ngu-10. Njengoba owesifazane esho, banomshado obuhle kakhulu, kodwa kukhona "kodwa" - umama wakhe umshayela nje. "Ulawula umyeni wami njengomfana omncane. Ngesikhathi ngasinye, uyaphendukela kuye, futhi ulalela ngokulalela nokugijimela ekuhlanguleni. Uma umyeni engavumelani nento ethile, uyamemeza, futhi uyayivumela. Futhi njalo lapho ngizochitha ubusuku nomyeni wami, kukhona okwenzeka kumama wakhe futhi zonke izinhlelo zonakalisiwe, "kusho lo wesifazane.
Lo wesifazane uzizwa elahliwe, ngoba umyeni wakhe uvame ukumqhubezela yena kanye nezingane eceleni, enze okuthile kumama wakhe. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi uhlonipha unina futhi uzama ukumsiza, kepha ngokwenza lokhu, ubhubhisa umshado wakhe womndeni, owesifazane udinga ukuba athathe izinsolo ezandleni zakhe, futhi ekugcineni uba indoda. Futhi wonke owesifazane kule nkinga ucabanga:
- kungani lo muntu engasho ukuthi cha, okungenani ngezinye izikhathi;
- kungani unina enamandla kangaka phezu komyeni wami?
- futhi yini ongayicabangela yokuhlukanisa lezi ezimbili kusuka komunye nomunye ukuze uqale ukwakha impilo yakho ndawonye?
Ngakho, kumbuzo othi "Ngamshada nobani," ngendodana kamama "noma kumuntu", impendulo cishe ayiduduzi, kodwa iholela ekuzindleni.
Impendulo - yeka ukwakha zonke izinhlobo zezizathu zokuvuma futhi uvume ukuthi umyeni wakho uyindodana kamama, ngoba wena ngokwakho umvumela ukuba abe njalo. Lena iphutha lakho. Iqiniso liwukuthi umama wakhe wabeka izindinganiso nezimfuneko kuye, futhi owesifazane wakhe akazange akwenze.
Indoda yangempela isilungele futhi ijabule ngokuphila ngemithetho yakho uma iyamazi, futhi uyaqiniseka ukuthi uma elandela le mithetho, uzokwenza owesifazane wakhe othandekayo ajabule.
Ngakho-ke, kusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, udinga ukusungula imithetho futhi uqinisekise ukuthi le ndoda iyahambisana nayo. Uma kungenjalo, uzolandela imithetho yomama wakhe.
Unina wayenguyena wesifazane wokuqala ukutshela ukuthi yini okufanele ayibekezelele, futhi kungenjani; uma emtshela ukuthi kufanele ahambe nini ekhaya, ahlanze izandla ngaphambi kokudla, avikele udadewabo, futhi njalo alalele futhi athembele unina, ucabange ukuthi lo mfana uzokwenzani? Ngakho uzolandela le mithetho, ngoba ngeke alalele unina, kodwa futhi ngoba uyamthanda. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imithetho kamama wakhe ivumelana nesikhathi sakhe, ezimweni, futhi angeke asuke kulezi zidingo - futhi indodana yakhe, uma inakekela, inothando, ngeke ibuyele kubo, futhi iyohlonipha, ivikele, ihambisane nomuntu futhi ihlinzeke owesifazane, okwamnika impilo.
Imithetho esemqoka yomyeni wakhe
Kuzoze kube yilapho ethola owesifazane ohlakaniphile ozomthanda futhi uyomthanda, ngubani ozokwazi ukusungula izimfuneko nemithetho yobuhlobo. Imithetho esemqoka yilezi:
- Ngihloniphe.
- Izingane zethu kanye nami siphezu kwazo zonke ezinye emva kukaNkulunkulu.
- Chaza wonke umuntu esimkhulumisana naye ukuthi kumele ahloniphe mina nobuhlobo bethu.
Uma ungakaze ubeke imithetho yobuhlobo bakho, ke-ke indoda ikwazi kanjani ngezindinganiso zakho zobudlelwane, ayikwazi ukufunda izingqondo ngakho uzophila ngokuvumelana nezidingo nemithetho yalowo ozifakile, okungukuthi unina. Akukhona ukuthi unina uzama ukugcina umyeni wakho, kodwa ukuthi awuzange uthathe izinkalo zikahulumeni ezandleni zakho.
I-heroine yendaba yethu iminyaka eyishumi yayithule futhi ibekezeleleke kabi umamazala wakhe, mhlawumbe ngoba wayesaba ukuthi umyeni wakhe uyomshiya bese ekhetha unina uma eqala ukushayela umama phakathi kwendodana yakhe nendodana yakhe. Kodwa-ke, amadoda aziphatha ngendlela ehluke ngokuphelele, uma umuntu ethanda ngempela, kanti futhi uma engumuntu wangempela, uzothola indlela ezokwenza kube lula ukuphikisana phakathi komkakho noninazala.
Qaphela ukuthi awuncintisana nomama wakhe oshintshe izinwele zakho kumyeni wakho, owaziyo futhi ongakwazi ukupheka ukudla okuthandayo, okumazi isikhathi eside futhi engcono kunawe. Awukwazi ukuma phakathi kweNdodana yakho nonina uma ethanda unina.
Ukuthembeka, kungcono kakhulu ukwakha ubuhlobo nendoda ehloniphayo futhi ethanda umama wayo kunomuntu odelela unina futhi, cishe, akakwazi ukuzwana nobubele obumnene nomfazi.
Ngokwemvelo, ungahambisana nalo muntu nonina, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ulawule ukuthi yini ongagcina uyilawula ngenkathi usebenzisa amandla akho ukusungula imithetho nemigomo ozoyiqaphela kokubili lapho uwakha umndeni wakho.
Esikhundleni sokukhathazeka ngokuthi uphinde washiya wena nabantwana futhi wagijima waya kumama phakathi nobusuku, vuka emnyango wokulala bese uthi - "Ngiyazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngomama wakho, ngiyazi ukuthi uyamthanda futhi uzokwenza konke akucelayo, kepha iqiniso lokuthi uphinde ungiphonsa mina nezingane ukuze usize ukuhambisa i-wardrobe kude ayamukeleki kimi. Uma uya manje, hlala khona ubusuku bonke. "
Kulokhu, uzomtshela ngamazinga akho, ngokusho ukuthi ufuna ukuphila futhi ukukhetha manje kuye, angaya noma achaze unina ukuthi akakwazi ukuza namhlanje, kodwa uzobiza kusasa. Ngeke ukwazi ukulawula imizwa nezenzo zomyeni wakho nonina, kodwa ungakwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho kanye nokulindela kusuka kumadoda akho.
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bakho kuphakamisa umbuzo mayelana nokuthi awufuni ukuncintisana nonina futhi ungafuni ukuvuka phakathi kwabo, ngakho-ke udinga ukutshela unina ukuthi:
- Izidingo zomkakhe, umakoti akufanele abekwe ngemuva;
- Kumelwe ahloniphe izidingo zendodana ukuze abe umthengi nomvikeli wesifazane othandekayo, owamkhetha njengomngane empilweni yakhe.
Yini owesifazane okufanele ayenze?
Yonke indoda yangempela idinga owesifazane othandekayo okungenani kunina, futhi uyaqonda lokhu. Ubuye aqonde ukuthi uma efuna ukuba nobuhlobo obuzinzile, obuhle futhi obuhlala njalo nowesifazane, udinga ukunquma intambo yomzimba ehlanganisa yena nomama wakhe. Waba umuntu omdala futhi ukwesekwa akuthola kunina: izindlu, izingubo, imfundo, ukunakekelwa, njll, kumele kuphele.
Udinga nje ukumtshela ukuthi yini okudingayo ukuqinisekisa nokuvikela wena nabantwana bakho, usizo lokubakhulisa, ubenze isibonelo kubantwana, ukuba abe yinhloko yalo mndeni. Uma usho kanjalo, imithetho yakho nezimfuneko zakho zizovame ukwedlula izimfuno zikamama wakhe.