Uthando lokuqala lufika kumuntu ekuqaleni, kumuntu owedlule. Kodwa njalo kuza. Kwabazali abaningi, uthando lokuqala lomntwana osemusha luyisivivinyo esikhulu, ikakhulukazi ngoba indodana noma indodakazi yabo isuke isuka kude nabo kancane kancane ukuthi esikhathini esizayo esishiya abazali bayo bese iqala umndeni.
Okuphikisana kakhulu nobuhlobo bokuqala ngabazali bodwa kuphela emndenini. Kulesi simo kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngomona womzali. Ngokuvamile ezimweni ezinjalo, abazali abakwazi ukwamukela ubuhlobo bomntwana wabo. Eminyakeni yesikole, bayakuvimbela ingane ukuba ibe umngane nomunye umuntu, echaza lokhu ukuthi udinga ukutadisha, esikhathini esizayo kubalulekile ukulungiselela ukuhlolwa, ukuthola imfundo ephakeme, ukwakha umsebenzi kanye nakho konke ukuphila kwakhe. Kunzima kubazali ukuchaza ukuthi ngeke uhambisane nemvelo. Izingane zabazali abanomhawu okunjalo zihamba ngezindlela ezimbili: indlela yamadodana noma amadodakazi amancane omama, ukulalela abazali babo, nendlela kaRomeo noma iJuliet, ukwephula uhlaka lomzali.
Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ukwazi ukugcina ubuhlobo obufudumele nengane yakho ngesikhathi sokuthanda kwakhe okokuqala. Uma ingane izokuthemba, izokuhlanganyela nawe ngezinkinga zayo, njengomngane omdala. Into esemqoka ukumtshela ukuthi awuyena omubi kuye noma ukhetha kwakhe. Shiya imizwa yakho siqu kuwe ngesikhathi.
Ngokuvamile abazali bayesaba ubuhlobo bokuqala bomntwana, njengoba becabanga ukuthi ukukhetha kwakhe akuphumelelanga. Ngokuyinhloko, lena yimibono engalungile. Kodwa uma kunjalo ngempela, ungamkhiyi ingane ekhaya, ungamvumeli ukuba ahlangabezane nento yothando lwakhe lokuqala. Ngakho uqinise nje imizwa yakhe. Thembela ingane yakho, ngezinye izikhathi uyazi ukuthi yini okufanele akwenze. Futhi uma ukukhetha kwakhe kungalungile, uzokuqonda ngokushesha. Umuntu kufanele enze amaphutha ukuze azi umhlaba owuzungezile. Ungacabangi ukuthi uma ingane yakho ithandana, ngokushesha uyanquma ukubopha ngomshado. Uthando lokuqala luhamba kancane, alubophezeli.
Yiqiniso, ukuze ugweme izimo ezingathandeki, ikakhulukazi, lokhu kubhekisela kubazali bamantombazane, kubalulekile ukuthi ingane ithole ngalesi sikhathi ulwazi olwanele mayelana nokuthi isiphi isondo nokuthi izingane zivelaphi. Ungabeki ukucindezela ingane bese umcela imininingwane yempilo yakhe. Sidinga ukwakha isimo esinjalo esingathandeki ukuthi yena ngokwakhe ufuna ukuhlanganyela nathi impumelelo nezinkinga zakhe.
Kungcono ukuvumela ingane ukuba ivakashele umphefumulo wayo. Ngakho izingane zizohlala zilawulwa njalo. Igama elithi "control" alilungile lapha, kusukela intsha, wonke umuntu uyazi, igweme konke ukubukeka komzali, ikakhulukazi ezindabeni zenhliziyo.
Ungalokothi utshele ingane: "Unalo uTan, uKat, uLen ozobe esenjalo ..." Lapho esekhulile, i-maximalism yentsha idlula yonke imingcele yokucabangela, ingane ngeke iwazise ukubamba iqhaza kwakho, ngoba okhethiweyo wakhe noma okhethiwe nguye ongcono kakhulu futhi kufanele, Nilly, gcina wena imicabango yakho engafanele.
Phatha uthando lokuqala lomntanakho ngokuhlakanipha kwabazali. Khumbula, wawuyini ukusabela kwakho lapho izinyo zakhe zokuqala ziqedile? Uyajabula ukuthi ikhula. Futhi ingane yahamba nini? Uyajabula ukuthi uzokwazi umhlaba. Uthando lokuqala lubuye nolwazi lwezwe, nge-psychology yabantu kanye nemizwa. Nika ingane yakho inkululeko yokuzikhethela futhi uhlale usondelene naye, imsekele ezimweni ezinzima. Futhi-ke akukho okubi emndenini wakho okuzokwenzeka ngokuqondile.