Sonke singabantwana babazali bethu. Sithemba kubo kusukela ebuntwaneni-emva kokuba bonke laba bantu basiphakamise futhi basinakekele. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abaningi baba abazali ngokwabo, futhi bayamangala ukuthola ukuthi umsebenzi onzima kangakanani. Kodwa ngokuqonda konke, sinezo, zangaphambilini futhi ezingakaqedi ubudlelwane - ngokwesibonelo, umama nendodakazi.
Ngethuba eliphakeme, ngeke kudingeke ukuba "zilungiswe" ezingokoqobo ezintsha, kodwa zakhiwe kabusha ngokuphelele. Intombazane ikhulile, umama uphikelela - izimpande zale mpi zivelaphi nokuthi zixazululwe kanjani ngendlela efanele?
Isikhathi esinzima sokukhula
Ukukhula kwamadodana kulula ngokulula, kepha akulula. Amantombazane avame ukuvumelana nomama wabo, noma okungenani hhayi ukuphikisana. Futhi lamadodana asho ngokucacile ukuzimela nokuzihlukanisa. Ngakho-ke, umbuzo "indlela yokwakha ubuhlobo bomama nendodakazi endala?" Ingabe kunzima kakhulu kunobungane "bendodana-baba".
Into embi kakhulu ongayicabangayo, futhi lokho ngokuqinisekile kuyoyithinta impilo yentombazane, owesifazane ozayo - ukuvikela "abantu abadala" babo. Ilungelo lokuba yilokho, ukuba nenkolelo yakho futhi ube imbangela yokuxabana, ubuhlobo obuyinkimbinkimbi phakathi kwentombazane esekhulile nonina. Futhi ungakha kanjani ubuhlobo nendodakazi endala, uma izinhlangothi zombili ziqhubeka?
Izinkathi zenkinga
Iminyaka engu-5-7. Ukuncintisana okungenakuqonda ngo "Baba"
Izinkinga zokuqala ziqala ngaphambi kokukhula. Zisekelwe emncintiswaneni phakathi komama nendodakazi. Ubani owayengacabanga ukuthi kuzodingeka afakazele ukufaneleka kwabo indodakazi eneminyaka emihlanu nesikhombisa?
Futhi uma umama okungenani engabaza ngobuhle bakhe, impumelelo, ingqondo yakhe, konke kungenzeka kubangele ubuhlobo obunzima nendodakazi yakhe. Ngempela, izingane zibamba ngokucacile lapho sizizwa singakhululekile khona, lapho sibonakala singenangqondo noma singenakukwazi.
Into embi kakhulu umama angayenza iyancintisana kakhulu nendodakazi yakhe encane. "Kanjani, ungitshengisa ukungaphumeleli kwami!" - Umama uzocasuka futhi uzobe engalungile. Futhi into engcono kakhulu ukumdumisa kusukela ezenzweni zokuqala zezintombazane.
Watshela ipuleti yakhe, wangcwatshwa isidlo sakhe eminjiniza, noma wasula uthuli endlini, waletha izinhlanu zokuqala - konke lokhu kuyisikhathi sokubona impumelelo yakhe. Njengoba kwakukuyi-cartoon ehlakaniphile: "Uke wakhipha udoti? Indodakazi ehlakaniphile! "
Futhi indodakazi endala, eyasinda kule nkathi ngaphandle kokulahleka, kufanele icabange ukuthi ubuntwana buphele isikhathi eside, futhi ukuqhubeka nokuncintisana okungenangqondo nomama okungenani kuyisiphukuphuku.
Uneminyaka engu-13-19 ubudala. Ubudala bokubamba kuqala
Ukuhamba okuhamba phambili nabafana (ngisho nangesihluthulelo, ngesandla, noma enkampanini jikelele) kungabangela izinkinga nonina. Ngisho noma ngabe yayawuthanda impumelelo futhi ithandwa, idla umona ongenalutho. Manje umama "ungumfazi womyeni", futhi ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuvuselelwa kwemizwa yokuqala akukwazi ukubuyiselwa.
Engeza lapha izinkolelo ezijwayelekile "Kuthiwani uma indodakazi yami isengasona intombi? Ngokungazelelwe, othile uzomcasula? ", Futhi uzoqonda ukuthi yini umama nendodakazi yakhe entsha. Ngaphezu kokukhathazeka okunengqondo ngokuphila, impilo (ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo) 'yegazi' lakhe, uphoqeleka ukuba aqaphele ukuhlukunyezwa kwakhe kwesifazane. Futhi indlela yokwakha ubuhlobo nomama omdala emva kokuncintisana okungenakuqhathaniswa kwe-covert kulesi sigaba sokukhula kwakhe akuqondakali. Kunoma yikuphi, izazi zengqondo zenza ukuvuselela ubudlelwane kuphela lapho kokubili umama nendodakazi sebevele bezimele. Uma kungenjalo kuyoba kanje: "Ingane yami ichithekile ngokuphelele! Yenza okuthile naye! "
20 nangaphezulu. Emva "kokuvukela." Ukuphila komndeni
Yini engathintana futhi ejabulisayo kakhulu kunokuthi indodakazi eshada ithola umndeni wayo? Indodakazi kuphela engenzi konke lokhu!
Umama kunzima ukwamukela ukuthi indodakazi yakhe isivele isilingana naye. Okufanayo noma (okubi kakhulu) - ezingeni eliphakeme kunakekela indoda yakhe, igcina indlu ihlanzekile futhi ilungiselela izitsha eziyinkimbinkimbi ezingcolile.
Umjikelezo olandelayo wokuncintisana uqiniswa yiqiniso lokuthi indodakazi isivele iyakwazi ukulalela ngokuthula izicelo, futhi "ukuhlubuka kwentsha" angeke ayinikeze. Usekhulile kakade. Kulesi sigaba, omama sebevele bacabanga ngalokho okubonakala kungadingeki amadodakazi abo. Kodwa omama badingeka njalo!
Lesi sigaba sempikiswano sizuzisa kakhulu, futhi kanjani ukwakha ubuhlobo bomama nendodakazi endala kuyokwenziwa yinhliziyo. Kuyinto elula ukuthola lezo "izintambo", lezozindawo lapho umama adinga khona futhi anganikeza usizo olubalulekile. Izingane zokubeletha? Iseluleko esivumelana nesibambisene nabo, uma ebuzwa? Ukubhekela zonke izinyembezi, okubangela ukuphazamiseka kokuqala empilweni yomndeni?
Kunezinketho eziningi. Kodwa umama ohlakaniphile nonomusa uzoqaphela lapho indodakazi yakhe iqala "ukuhudula" kumama wayo, ukwakha ngokuphelele ukuhlukana, hhayi "ubuhlobo bomntwana". Ugcwele, unobungane, umlingani (wena-mina, mina-wena) - zonke izici zekhwalithi yokuxhumana phakathi komama nendodakazi.
Into esemqoka ezosiza umama ukuba athole ubuhlobo nendodakazi endala:
- yiba usizo, kodwa hhayi ukungena;
- ukuba umngane, kodwa hhayi ukubuza indodakazi yami ukuba ihlanganyele izithakazelo zomama wakhe.
Umama osebenzayo, osebenzayo
"Umhlalaphansi" uyinhlamba. Kodwa, nokho, "ugogo". Abesifazane abafuni ukuzivuma bona, kodwa ukuzalwa kwabazukulu kuyisenzakalo esijabulisayo, esonakaliswa isimo esisha. Kodwa umama, "oneminyaka engamashumi amahlanu" ugijimela ngokweqile, uyazikhandla futhi agijime azungeze lezi zinduna - kungabi namahloni angaphansi kwendodakazi yakhe.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, "ixhaphozi elimuncu", elakhiwe ngisho nasemzungeze umhlalaphansi osebenzayo, idonsela ngaphandle. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umsebenzi kufanele futhi ube olinganiselwe. Ngokuqinisekile indodakazi iyohlonipha umama wayo uma isebenza futhi isebenza uma inentshisekelo yakhe. Futhi uma unina enganaki usizo lomndeni osemncane - khona-ke lena ngumama wegolide, futhi ubuhlobo naye buyoba mnandi kakhulu!