Ngemuva kwesahlukaniso, abanye besifazane bayavuma ngokufanelekile ukulala naye nomyeni wangaphambili. Izizathu eziyinhloko zalokhu ukuziphatha kwabesifazane kubhekwa njengomkhuba, ukwaneliseka ngokocansi, noma ukuvuselela imizwa. Amaqiniso anesifiso abuye abambe izibalo, ngokusho ukuthi yi-30% yabesifazane abasesimweni esilandelayo, bangena ebuhlotsheni bobulili nomuntu owawushade naye, bekubiza ngokuthi "izinsizakalo eziseduze." Ngandlela-thile, ezinye zezocansi ezenza kahle zingaphenduka ngesenzo. Futhi, okokuqala, kuyobe kuhambisane nesimo sengqondo esibi kanye nokuzisola ngezihlobo zakho, abangane kanye ikakhulukazi nomyeni omusha.
Izizathu eziyinhloko ezenza owesifazane alale ocansini nomyeni wangaphambili:
Abantu abashade bashadile basabelana nomunye nomunye, futhi izingxabano eziholele ekuqhekekeni kobudlelwane ziyisisombululo esisemthethweni senkinga yokungalingani ekusebenzisaneni kwabo.
Enhliziyweni yomshado owedlule kwakukhona ubulili kuphela, ngenxa yalesi sizathu ukusondelana nomuntu osekude naye kuyingxenye ebalulekile yobudlelwano, naphezu kwesahlukaniso.
Ngomyeni omusha, lona wesifazane akazwa ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka okwakunomlingani wangaphambili futhi ngenxa yalokho, lona wesifazane uzizwa enesifiso esikhulu ngaye.
Owesifazane uphefumulelwe isifiso sokuthandana nanoma yimuphi umuntu ngazo zonke izindleko.
Umshado omusha uyiphutha, yingakho umgomo oyinhloko ukubuyisela umshado omdala, okwamanje kubonakala sengathi uphumelele.
Ubulili nomyeni wangaphambili kusiza owesifazane ukuba azizwe ekhululekile futhi ekhululekile, ngokungafani nobulili nomnumzane omusha.
Ezimweni eziningi, lo wesifazane, owaneliswa ngumshado omusha, wakhela ubudlelwano bobulili nomyeni wangaphambili ngesisekelo sokukhangwa ngokobulili nokungazelelwe kuye, okungayeki nesikhathi futhi ngisho nokuqoqa ukuphenduka okusha. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokungena ebuhlotsheni bobulili nomuntu osekude naye, lona wesifazane akabheki lokhu ukukhwabanisa. Yebo, kanye nendoda esanduliwe, ngemuva kokufunda ngalokho okwenzekayo, isithembu somfazi ngokuvamile sivala amehlo.
Kuhle noma kubi?
Kodwa noma ngabe yikuphi, ukuxhumana kocansi nomuntu osekude naye kungaletha umonakalo ongenakuqhathaniswa nokuphila komndeni omusha. Emva kwakho konke, umbuzo uvela lapha ukuthi uma owesifazane ehlala nezingqondo zangesikhathi esidlule, yini ayilindela ebuhlotsheni obusha futhi bayayidinga ngempela? Yingakho ngaphambi kokwakha umndeni omusha, udinga ukucabangela ubuhlobo bokuqala, bona zonke "i-pluses" ne "minuses" yalokho okwakukhona nokuthi kuzoba yini. Khona-ke singaphetha ngokuthi, eqinisweni, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nobuhlobo bobulili nabangaphambili, obusekelwe emizwelo eyedlule noma impilo ephuma esiceleni esihlanzekile. Uma lokhu sekuvele kwenzekile futhi owesifazane exhumana nomuntu osekude naye, futhi omusha okhethiwe uyazi ngalokhu, lapha kuyadingeka ukuxazulula inkinga evelayo ngokuxoxa ngokukhululekile phakathi kwalabo abashade nabo.
Into esemqoka yobulili nomyeni wangaphambili
Ubuhlobo obuseduze nomyeni wangaphambili ukuhamba ngokuqondile ezinkingeni zangaphambilini, okwenzeka phakathi nempilo yomndeni ngemizwa emibili yabantu ababezizwa ngaphambi komunye nomunye. Babengakwazi ukubhekana nesimiso somsebenzi nsuku zonke futhi impilo, ingatholakali ukuqonda okufanayo, yahlakazeka ishiya uxhumano lwezocansi kuphela. Akukho lutho olubi ngeqiniso lokuthi owesifazane ubhekana nesithandwa sobulili kumuntu owayengumthandi kuphela uma ekwazi ukulawula imizwelo yakhe. Kodwa noma yikuphi okushoyo, kwabesifazane abaningi lokhu kuyisimo esiphelele.
Buyela kimi, uthando lwami!
Kukhona abesifazane abakholelwa ukuthi uma bebuyela kumlingani wabo wangaphambili bazobuyisa uthando lwabo lwangaphambili, baqale futhi. Kodwa, ngeshwa, bambalwa abantu abakwazi ukwenza ubulili. Ngakho-ke, ukuze ubuyisele ubuhlobo nomuntu osekude naye, ubulili kufanelekile ngaphezu kokwenza umkhuba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuqashelwa amaphutha adlule, ukuhlaziywa kwazo zonke izimo, ukunakekelwa komuntu obiza kakhulu - lokhu kuzosiza konke ukufaka umlilo owedlule. Khumbula ukuthi ukuxazulula inkinga akusho ukususa. Futhi ngokujwayelekile kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi owesifazane oyedwa ohlukanisile, njengomthetho, uyakwazisa inkululeko entsha, kodwa ukungabi namuntu ukunakwa kuyinkinga enkulu. Ngenxa yalesi sizathu, ukulala ngokobulili nomyeni wangaphambili kusiza ukulondoloza umshado, ukunikeza isithakazelo esikhethekile, ukukhathazeka nokwenza kube namandla.