Ekuphileni kwawo wonke umuntu kuneminyaka eminingi. Sifunda, sithandane, sakha ubudlelwane futhi sisekela "umndeni" wethu-ubudlelwane phakathi kwemindeni yezizukulwane eziningana. Kodwa indlela yokuphila yobudala "intsha - ukukhula - kubantu - emndenini - ubudala" ifanele kuphela amadoda. Owesifazane unengqondo yakhe yeminyaka yobudala, futhi isigaba ngasinye ekujikelezeni kwakhe konke okuphelele, inqubo yentuthuko incike ezintweni eziningi.
Ukuthuthukiswa kwabesifazane kanye nokuhamba kwezigaba ezihlukahlukene zokuphila, imijikelezo, kuhambisana nokuphila kwakhe okubaluleke kakhulu, kanti ukucabanga kwengqondo yakhe yobudala kubonisa ukuthi uyathembela. Owesifazane unezikhathi eziningana "ezikhethekile," eziye zacaca imingcele.
Kukhona umjikelezo wokuphila komuntu oneminyaka engu-7, kunokuba lula ngokulula kokuthuthukiswa komuntu, ukutshela okuningi mayelana nobudala besifazane. "Ukubhala" kwakhe kubhekene namasiko ahlukene. Kodwa into eyodwa iyafana - ukuthi inombolo "yemilingo" yesikhombisa ibonisa imingcele yobudala kahle kakhulu.
- Kuze kube neminyaka engu-7 ubudala ingane ,
- Kuze kube ngu-14 - intombazane ,
- Kuze kube ngu-21 - intombazane ,
- Kuze kube ngu-28 - isosha ,
- Kuze kube ngu-35 - umama ,
- Kuze kube ngu-42 - umfazi ,
- Kuze kube ngu-49 - owesifazane ,
- Ku-56 nangaphezulu ukuhlakanipha ngokwayo .
Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye bathi imijikelezo iphindaphindwa, kanti abanye bathi lapho uneminyaka engama-56 owesifazane uye wafunda ukuhlakanipha okungaphakathi futhi kungaba "owesifazane omdala kunabo bonke", ngezwi leMvelo ngokwakhe noma cha. Futhi manje ake sikhulume nge-psychology yobudala besifazane kanye nomjikelezo ogcwele wokuphila kwentuthuko yabantu kancane kancane.
Kusukela eneminyaka engamashumi ayisikhombisa kuphela , owesilisa omncane "ongenacala" uba intombazane, uzizwa engowomuntu wesilisa ocansini, nakuba imicabango yokuqala mayelana nezibonakaliso ezicacile ze "ezinye" zakhe ezenziwa eminyakeni emihlanu. Futhi ngo-14 - umqondo wemicabango yabo engokomoya, sekuyisikhathi sokuthandana nokuvela kwemizwa eqinile.
Kusukela eminyakeni engu-21 iqala isikhathi esisha. Intombazane eyayizizwa kuqala futhi yafunda umhlaba wangaphakathi iba nesithakazelo ezweni langaphandle. U-Diane-hunter, u-warrior, ezama isandla sakhe ezweni langempela futhi unesithakazelo kulokho okushoyo - lena intombazane engaphansi kweminyaka engama-28 ubudala. Impumelelo yokuqala ivuselela, amanxeba okuqala akwenza ucabange.
Futhi manje, eminyakeni engama-28 ubudala le ntombazane ifika nempahla ejulile yolwazi. Ngisho noma eshade naye engama-20, ke, ngezindinganiso ze-psychology yobudala, kuphela uma eneminyaka engu-28 ubudala intombazane ifika eneminyaka yobudala obuvuthiwe nobuvundi - lokhu kungumjikelezo wokuphila komuntu. Futhi kulokhu kukhona into ephelele ngempela - kuphela lapho uthola ulwazi, kungenzeka ukuthi udlulisele into ebalulekile esizukulwaneni esilandelayo.
Kuze kube ngu- 35 owesifazane ujabulela ubumnandi bomama nokwakhiwa "kwezindlu", ubuhlanga, indlela yokuphila kanye "neseli" emphakathini ". Kodwa ezayo eduze nesiteji esilandelayo, uthola ukuthi kunezinye izithakazelo. Futhi konke okudlule - umndeni, ikhaya, umsebenzi ozinzile futhi okhululekile - wawuyigobolondo elivikelayo, ngemuva kwalokho kwakungenzeka ukufihla ekuhluphekeni futhi libandakanye engokwemvelo kakhulu owesifazane - ukuzalwa nokukhuliswa kwezingane.
Ineminyaka engama- 35-42 ukuthi abesifazane bavuselele isimo sabo sezenhlalakahle, bashintshe indawo yabo yomsebenzi ngisho nemikhaya yabo - kakhulu kulo mzuzu umuzwa wokuthi konke kudinga ukwenziwa kabusha. Futhi mhlawumbe - indlela engcono kakhulu, ngoba ngeke ube nesikhathi sokushintsha ...
Ngeminyaka engama-42-47, owesifazane uyanciphisa isizungu sakhe kanye nesimo "sesahlukaniso," noma usevele ethembekile emndenini wakhe. Kule minyaka ukuthi umqondo othi "owesifazane" usebenza kakhulu - uqiniseke ukuthi ungubani, ukuthi uyakwazi yini futhi kwezinye izinto eziningi. Okuhle kuba ngokwengeziwe, amandla amakhulu engqondo namathuba - futhi, kodwa ukuqedwa komzimba akukaze kube nomuzwa obala kakhulu. Ekupheleni kwalesi sikhathi, lo wesifazane ekugcineni uyazibuza umbuzo wesakramente "ngingubani," "kungani ngilapha," "kusuka kuphi" ...
Futhi manje akuwona imibuzo engokwemvelo intsha noma insizwa elwa nempi eyinqoba izwe ezizibuza yona - lena yiloluhambo lwangempela ngaphakathi kulo. Ekugcineni ubheka elasha evulekayo phambi komuntu wonke. Le nkhulumomphendvulwano ephakade ithembisa ukubuyela ezithakazelweni zangasese nokuphila izimpilo zabantwana, abazukulu, abazukulukazi ... noma ukuhlakanipha kweqiniso, ekugcineni kufinyelela eminyakeni engama-56 .
Noma yikuphi ukucabanga kwengqondo yobudala, umjikelezo ogcwele wokuphila komuntu kusukela ekuqaleni kokungapheli okungokomoya, kuyiqiniso, kunemibandela. Sinendawo futhi umehluko eminyakeni engu-2-3, futhi ukwehluleka kwangempela - uma lo muntu noma lowo muntu "eboshiwe" kwesinye isigaba noma ngokungazelelwe abuyele emgqeni wangaphambilini womjikelezo. Kodwa noma yikuphi "ukungahambisani" ngisho nomjikelezo wokuphila okunemibandela okwamanje kubonakala kungavamile.
Intsha "yobuhle obubulalayo" eminyakeni engama-45 kuya kwengu-50, ukudubula amehlo njengentombazane encane, enolwazi, noma engaphelelwe yisikhathi, umama osemncane ephonsa izandla, enikeza iseluleko, enganakho ukuhlakanipha okwanele - anzima ngokulinganayo ekuqondeni. Futhi vumela ngokungaqondi, ungayiqondi imbangela, kodwa ezinye ziphazamiseke-zingakwenza kanjani? Ngakho-ke ungasheshi, ukhule njengoba ufuna umphefumulo. Ngempela, akekho ozophila impilo yakho ngenxa yakho - noma izihlobo noma abangane, noma "umphakathi".