Indlela yokudala umbono omuhle

Owesifazane noma indoda, ngesifiso sangokwemvelo sokujabulisa abanye, zama ukuveza umbono omuhle kumuntu omusha emhlanganweni wokuqala. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abakusoli ngisho nokusola ukuthi umbono wabo wenziwa ngendaba ethile. Ukuze senze umbono oqondile kumuntu, sinikezwe okungaphezu kwemizuzwana engu-15.

Yini ngempela okudingeka yenziwe kumasekhondi angu-15 okuqala okukhulumisana ukuze kufezwe okuthiwa "ukungenelela"? "IMITHETHO YEZIPHUMA EZINTATHU" yisisekelo sokuphumelela ukujoyina i-interlocutor, okusho ukuthi ukuxhumana okusheshayo nokusebenza kahle, kudingeka ukwazi futhi wenze izenzo ezintathu eziyinhloko.


Ama-pluses amathathu - SMILE, NAME no-COMPLEMENT.


SMILE

Ukuzimela nokunyakaza kuyindlela yokuqala yokuxhumana phakathi komama nomntwana. Siyabonga ukulingisa, izinkulumo zethu zinikezwa ukukhathazeka, izithombe, ukucaca nokucacisa. I-Mimicry ubufakazi obunokwethenjelwa bezinhloso zangempela, izinhloso nemicabango yomuntu, kunokuba ngamazwi akhe, angase alale kalula.

Umsindo othembekile, ovulekile uzohlale uveza izinhloso ezinhle zomuntu futhi ufakazele ukungabi khona kwezinhloso ezimbi ezifihlekile, izifiso ezimbi. Ukumomotheka kuyaqondwa ngokungaqondakali ngabanye kithi njengobonakaliso bomusa nokukhathazeka, ukwethemba nokuzwelana.

Uke wazama ukumomotheka kudlula? Cishe, umdlula-wabuye uzophendula ngokumomotheka. Ngezinye izikhathi kukhona enye: ekuphenduleni ukumomotheka kwakho, umdluli-ubheka eceleni noma udidekile ngokucacile. Isizathu salokhu silele ngokungajwayelekile kokumomotheka kwakho, noma ezinkingeni ze-psyche yomuntu. Umswakama oqotho ungaduduza umphefumulo ngisho nomuntu onzima kakhulu obilisiwe futhi ovaliwe, ukumamatheka okuphazamisayo. Ukumomotheka kubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kwemizwa emihle. Kunganciphisa okuhlangenwe nakho okungathandeki futhi kubuyisele ibhalansi yengqondo. Hamba izingoma zokumomotheka futhi ungafaka isikhalazo. Kodwa ungakwenza kanjani ukumamatheka, uma inhliziyo yakho imbi, futhi abantu abakuzungezile abajabuli nhlobo?

Zama ukuthola ekubukeni komuntu okuthile okuthakazelisayo, okuthanda, mhlawumbe ngisho namahlaya.

Uma lokhu kungasebenzi, sebenzisa ngokwakho. Thatha isibuko nasekhaya, phambi kwesibuko zama ukwenza amanye ama-grimaces amahle. Khumbula i-anecdote yokugcina oyintandokazi futhi ubuke ngokwakho esibukweni. Umehluko uma kuqhathaniswa ne-grimace yokufakelwa iyaphawulwa?
Zama ukudlala nomndeni wakho noma abangani emdlalweni abanye abababiza ngokuthi "abathandi be-peepers." Abahlanganyeli emdlalweni (ababili) bahlala izihlalo ezibhekene nomunye futhi, bebuka amehlo esitha, zama ukumenza ahleke. Olahlekile nguye oqala ukuhleka. Kungenzeka ukubamba izinkambiso eziphelele ku "abathandi".

Smile! Ungakhohlwa kuphela ngamazwi kaBaron Munchausen: "Ukuhleka kwandisa impilo kulabo abahlekayo, kodwa kulabo ababukhali-ukusika ...".


NAME


Umthetho wesibili "wokuhlanganisa" wokuxhumana okuphumelelayo okokuqala oxhumana naye ngu-NAME. Umthelela wegama elibikiwe (noma elibhalwe phansi) kumnikazi walo alikaqondi ngokugcwele. Kodwa-ke, kunoma yikuphi, kusobala ukuthi igama elibizo lenza izenzo ezijulile zomuntu ongaqondi kahle futhi ngendlela enhle kakhulu yashintsha isimo salo ngendaba ethile engxenyeni yesibili. Ngamunye wethu, igama liyizwi elihle kunazo zonke aziwayo. Leli gama lakhulunywa ngamashumi ezinkulungwane ngezikhathi ngezindebe ezithandekayo nezothando zomama. Ngakho-ke, sinomhlangano we-reflex wezinto ezethu, ezethu, uma igama lethu libizwa. Umqondo ongaqondakali wokuzibandakanya usenza masinyane siphendule egameni lethu, eshiwo nanoma ubani, noma nini nanoma ikuphi.

Isibonelo.

Zama ukuqhathanisa isimo somuntu obizwa ngegama kusuka kumbuso womuntu ofanayo, ngaphandle kokuthi uyiqambe, isibonelo: 1.- Natasha, linda ... 2.- Hey! Linda ...

Kwanele ukuba uzibeke endaweni yalowo muntu futhi ucabange ukuthi ziphendukela kanjani kuwe, ukuze uzizwe ngokucacile lezi zimo.

Siphendula kahle ngegama lethu ngisho nalapho umxhumanisi ekhuluma kabi ngathi. Khumbula "ihlaya lezinwele"? Umuntu ohamba ngezinyawo udlula umgwaqo omatasa endaweni engafanele. Mayelana naye, imoto ye-chic iyama. Kusuka efasiteleni lemoto inhloko "yeRussia entsha" iphuma futhi ithi: "Futhi wena, izimbuzi, kukhona le ndawo yakhiwa !!!". Ohamba ngezinyawo, ebuyela ekhaya, uthi: "Futhi laba" baseRussia abasha ", kuvela ukuthi, bayizigijimi ezinhle - omunye omisiwe namhlanje, wangiphendukela" ngawe ", futhi uyazi ngisho nesibongo sami" Kozlov "endaweni ethile !!!"

Igama liwuphawu lokubaluleka komuntu, uphawu lobuntu bakhe. Ake sikhumbule lokhu uma sikhuluma.


UKUKHETHA


Esikhathini sokusebenza kwengqondo nokuncoma kungokwesigaba esithi "stroking." Wenza "ukuhleka okumnandi" kumxhumanisi, lapho engazi ukuthi unesibopho sokuphendula ngendlela efanayo "yokubuyisela isikweletu." Ingabe i-"stroking" yakho izakwamukelwa - kuxhomeke ezimweni (indawo, isikhathi, umongo, uhlobo "lokushaya"). Kuyafaneleka noma akufanelekile ukuba "u-stroking", njengoba uqonda, kuxhomeke kuwe kuphela, okungukuthi, ekukwazi kwakho ukukhetha indawo, isikhundla, umzuzu, uhlobo lokubonga, isizathu. Konke lokhu, kuzokwenzeka, kuxhomeke kakhulu ekuboneni kwakho, ukuhlakanipha, ukukhululeka nokulungela.

Ekuboneni kuqala, kubonakala sengathi akukho lutho olulula kunokuncoma i-interlocutor. Kodwa emva kokusho ukuncoma nokubona umzuzu wokuthukuthela, ukudideka, ukuhlazeka, ukungabi namandla noma udonga lokunganaki, siqala ukuzwa ukuthi senze okuthile okungalungile ... Sibona ukuthi senze iphutha, futhi indlela eya enhliziyweni yomxhumanisi kithi manje ivaliwe. Ngokuvamile senza amaphutha alandelayo:

1. Siyancoma ngokuqondile umuntu ongajwayelekile noma ongajwayelekile.
Cabanga ukuthi umuntu ongaziwa emgwaqweni uthi kuwe: "O, ungumuntu othakazelisayo!" noma "Intombazane, uhle kakhulu!".

Ukuncoma, esho ebunzini kudikibala, kufakaza kubantu abangenangqondo nabangalungile. Ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yakhe, angase afande ngisho nesikhalazo, kepha ngenxa yesiso esibheka phambili sezinkambiso zomphakathi, umamukeli umane nje ekulahla obala. Ukuxhumana okuqhubekayo kubonakala kungenakwenzeka, ngakho-ke lokhu kunconywa kufaneleka kuphela kumuntu owaziwayo. Kulesi simo, kuyoba nzima ngisho nokuyiqeda nge-epithets.

2. Senza ukuncoma ngokuhlelekile, okufakiwe, ngoba "sidinga ukuncoma ngazo zonke izindleko."
Akukhathaleki ukuthi uthini ngesikhathi esisodwa. I-interlocutor ngengqondo yakhe engaqondakaliyo uyozizwa ngokushesha ukuthi kukhona okwenzekayo, futhi uma kungekho ukwethenjwa, akukho ukuxhumana okunye. Ukuncoma okunjalo kuzobonakala njengokuhlekwa usulu.

3. Senza ukuncoma ngokungapheli, ngaphandle kokuthembela ekuqinisweni nasesimweni se-interlocutor.

Lapho isifiso sokwenza ukuncoma siphenduka sibe yisisindo esikhulu, cishe ukulawulwa okulahlekile ngokuphelele kwesimo. Asisaboni izibonakaliso ezicacile: umuntu ukhathazekile noma usheshe, noma wesaba, noma uthathwa ngumsebenzi othakazelisayo (futhi obaluleke kakhulu kuye).

Naphezu kwakho konke, "sibeka" lo mphakathi emphakathini wethu, ukukhulumisana kwethu, "amahlaya ethu" kanye "nokuncoma okutholile." Kulesi simo, thina, ngokwethu, sizitholela ukuncoma, hhayi okwenziwe yi-interlocutor. Ukuphumelela kuleso simo akunakwenzeka, ngoba i-interlocutor yakho ayinakwenzeka ukuthi inentshisekelo yakho, kanye nezinkinga zakho nemicabango yakho. Okuhlukile kungenziwa ngokusetshenziswa okuhlakaniphile "kwesimo se-interlocutor", isb. "ukujoyina" ngenxa yokuncoma okungaqondile.

Enye yezindlela eziphumelelayo kakhulu zokuthi "u-stroking" yilokho okuthiwa "ukuncoma okungaqondile." Yilokho lapho sibonisa ukuzwelana, ukudumisa, ukuzwakalisa hhayi ngaye, kodwa ngokuhlola kahle isimo, imizwelo, abantu, izinto kanye nezinye izinto ezihlobene ngqo noma ezingaqondile kuye. Umyeni othile, ebona intombazane enhle kakhulu ehamba inja (yezo zonke izinhlobo), yamemeza ngokumangalisayo: "Oh, yimuphi inja! Ungaba yiziphukuphuku! Futhi wazi ukuthini? Futhi lolu hlobo lubizwa kanjani? Ngingathanda okufanayo ... kodwa akekho ozokubonisana. .. "nokunye okunjalo.

Lo muntu, njengoba evele ehhovisi lomqondisi wenkampani ethile, waphuthuma wathi: "Yeka ukuthi uhle kangakanani! Kufudumele futhi kutholile ... futhi konke ngethoni, kunambitha." Yiqiniso, enkampanini enjalo cishe kuyathakazelisa ukusebenza ... " .

Esikhathini ngasinye esithile, ukuncoma okusha kungazalwa. Bheka nxazonke! Ngempela, izwe elizungezile ligcwele izinto ezahlukene (eziphilayo futhi ezingenamuntu). Azikho izinto ezimbi noma ezinhle. Lokhu kuqonda kwethu kwenza kube njalo. Dumisani umuntu onesidokeni sakhe ibutho lamamagazini, izithombe, izethulo nezinye izinto, ukuze kube nomkhathi wokudala kulelihhovisi. Unganqikazi ukuveza inhlonipho kumuntu ohlanzekile ehhovisi lakhe, njengasegumbini lokusebenzela, futhi akukho lutho olungenakuqhathaniswa nokuzinikezela nokuziphatha enhlanganweni yakhe. Uma ufuna ngobuqotho ukuthola okuhle ngesitayela sempilo noma umsebenzi we-interlocutor - uzothola. Khona-ke ngeke kube nezinkinga ngokuncoma.

Ukuvivinya okuwusizo: emva kokubona noma iyiphi into, zama ukuthola indumiso kumnikazi wayo onokwenzeka. Bhala umqondo ebhukwini elikhethekile ngaphansi kwesigaba "Ukuncoma okungaqondile kubanikazi bezinto ezizungezile." Zama ukuqoqa amarekhodi angamakhulu amabili noma amathathu, futhi uzozizwa ukuthi kulula kanjani ukwenza izincomo.

Ngokwezengqondo zengqondo, enye yezincomo ezingokomzwelo ezingenakukhunjulwa yiyona ebizwa ngokuthi "Minus Plus" ukuncoma.

Okubalulekile kwalokhu ukuncoma ukuthi wukuqala, njengokungathi ukugxeka umuntu ngezinto ezingezona ezibalulekile. I-interlocutor ihlushwa, iqala ukukhathazeka kancane mayelana nalokhu okushiyweyo kanye nethuba lokuthi uzoshiya ngombono wakho. Kodwa kulo mzuzwana usho ukuncoma, okuyikhulu ngokuphindwe kabili. I-interlocutor iyajabula. Ukuncoma okunjalo kusebenza ngamaphesenti angukhulu uma i-"minus" yokuqala ibuthakathaka kakhulu kuneyesibili "plus". Umthelela oqinisekisiwe walokhu kunconywa uchazwa ngokoqobo lwengqondo yomuntu, indlela efanayo yomsebenzi wayo.