Awucabangi ngalokhu, kodwa nangu wena: othandekayo wenza "isimangalo" noma udinga ukufunda indima kababa wesimama ... Ukukhetha okubuhlungu - obani okufanele abe ngu: uPapa "ngokuzibandakanya" noma "ngokukholelwa"? Futhi kanjani ukuba ubaba wangempela? Izindlela zokwenza ukulungele ukubeletha zingasiza kulokhu.
Ukukhulelwa okungahleliwe
Ekuphileni komuntu kunemibhaqwana embalwa engadlulisela kwi-stupor - nalokhu naphezu kokubikezela kwabo. Isibonelo: "Into engikhumbuli yona enkulumweni ... Sizoyidlulisa kanjani ukuhlolwa?" Noma "Unezikhalazo ezivela ehhovisi lokubhalisa ezempi nokubhalisa, zibhalise." Futhi ikakhulukazi: "Othandekayo, maduzane uzoba ubaba!" Kanjani? Ufuna nje ukuhlala lapho: Ngithole umsebenzi omuhle, ngangihlela uhambo lwe-kayak (lonke ihlobo), ngiphupha imoto entsha ... Futhi unikezwa ukuzinikela esikhathini esizayo esiseduze ekucindezelweni okukhulelwe (abangane bangitshele ukuthi yikuphi), ukugwedla umntwana okhala ebusuku kanye nokushintsha okungapheli kwama-diapers.
Akulungile! Yini okufanele ngiyenze?
Impendulo enjalo kumadoda ijwayelekile, ngoba isisusa sikayise asiyitholi ubisi lomama (ngokungafani nobulili obuhle). Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungathembela ukuthi ngokushesha noma ngokuhamba kwesikhathi isisindo sizozibonakalisa - iminyaka engama-35-40, ngoba, ngokusho kososayensi, kulesi sikhathi lapho izinga le-hormone oxytocin, elibhekene nemizwa yabazali, lifinyelela endaweni ephakeme kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, esimweni lapho ubaba esondela khona ngokungenakuphika, ngeke kube buhlungu ukwenza okuthile ngokuzikhandla. Isibonelo, ukuqala ukuqonda.
"Ukwesaba kwePapa"
Ngisemncane kakhulu (hhayi nje ngo-20 kuphela, kodwa futhi eminyakeni engama-30)! Iqembu ngaphambi kokusa, ukuhamba okuzenzekelayo ukuya "emaphethelweni omhlaba" futhi ukukhulumisana nabangani be-bachelor kuzodingeka kukhanseliwe ... kuze kube phakade?
Angikulungele ngokwezezimali: ithemba lokusebenza "ngamathathu" lijabulisa abantu abambalwa. Futhi uma usadingeka uchithe isabelo sezingonyama ezingenayo emfucumfwaneni wezingane ...
Ngomntwana kanzima kangaka! "Inxephezelo" izingane zama-comrades ngokuzimibalabala zichaza lezi "zinto ezimbi": colic, teething, shintsha ukubukeka komkakhe. Futhi kuvamile ukucabanga: "Siyabonga uNkulunkulu, akusiwo nami" - ngeke kusebenze futhi. Mhlawumbe kunjalo. Noma mhlawumbe akunjalo: ngumntanakho ozolala ngokushesha futhi amukele ukuhamba ngezinyawo ... futhi umkakhe esikhundleni samakhilogremu engeziwe emva kokuzalwa "uyokhula" amabele e-chic. Futhi ngokujwayelekile, zonke izinkinga zingezesikhashana - ngokungafani nokuthandwa kwengane!
Indima yomama
Lungiselela ubaba wakho ngendima entsha kancane kancane. Ungalokothi uhlehlise ulwazi oluthe xaxa mayelana nokukhulelwa kanye nezingane ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kodwa ungamvumeli ukuba ahambe, uthando kuphela luveza uthando.
Izibonelo zokunikeza umzali ojabulayo ngezindlela zokwenza ukulungele ukuzala. Bheka izivakashi kubangani abakhulisa izingane ezifisayo - ngaphandle kokucindezela. Futhi indoda iyaqonda ukuthi: izingane akuyona inhlekelele!
Bonisa ukuthanda kwakho! Ngokuvamile umuntu uhlangabezana: "Manje sengingowesithathu", "yonke imicabango yakhe nemizwa yakhe manje ingumntwana." Kodwa lokhu akunjalo!
Ubaba wesibili
Ingane isivele ikhona - lokhu kuhlanganisa. Ngakho-ke, awukwazi ukukhathazeka ngokulala ebusuku, i-gruel kanye ne-diapers. Kodwa izinkinga ezivela kulo akuzona ngaphansi. Ingane ingomunye umuntu ... kodwa kufanele ibe yindabuko! Phela, lokhu kuyintandokazi yengane! Yebo, uhlamvu lwakhe kuphela lubi: wonke umuntu uthatha isimo sengqondo esivuthayo, kuzo zonke izinyathelo afuna ukucasuka, umona unomona omkhulu. Indlela yokuthola iphazili? Noma mhlawumbe, emaphupheni okuphila okujabulisayo, ufake isiphambano esinamafutha?
Yiqiniso, akulula ukujwayela indoda encane eyakhulela ngaphandle kokubamba iqhaza kwakho, ayizuzanga ifa lakho izici ... Noma kunjalo, ungadangali: ngokuvamile umuntu okhulisa umntwana, umnikeza isimo sakhe sengqondo emhlabeni wonke, kumenza aqhubeke yena - kuba ozalwa ngempela! Yiqiniso, kulula ukubhekana nalokhu uma "uthola" ingane. Kodwa ngomsana olwa nesibindi ungathola othintana naye-kungaba khona isifiso. Slyukat futhi ungabuzi kahle - ubaba onothando angafanele futhi abe oqinile (ngokufanele). Kubalulekile ukuthola indawo evamile, izindaba ezivamile - akulona nzima kakhulu, uma umuntu eshukunyiswa uthando oluqotho lomuntu wesifazane (kanye nengane - njengokuqhubeka kwayo). Ungamfihli ingane yakho imizwa yakho ejulile ngomama wakhe - okokuqala yiyona nto kuphela ehlanganisana nawe nengane futhi ongayethemba ukuze uhlele ubuhlobo.
Inkinga izikhathi
Ubaba wengane "ubeka amasondo esontweni" - uma kwenzeka umbhangqwana uhlukanisile, kodwa awuzange uhlukanise, okungukuthi, okwakubaluleke kakhulu ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye. Zama ukupholisa - isimo sokunisela ngokudaka ngodaka cishe akunakwengeza ukwethembeka kuwe emehlweni omntwana ngezindlela zanamuhla zokwenza ukulungele ukondla. Okungcono, kungaba kuhle ukuba nobaba wengane engekho abathandanayo, kodwa abalingani bebhizinisi endabeni yokufundisa indlalifa. Izihlukaniso, ngakho-ke uhlanganyela - injabulo nenhlalakahle yengane.
Izingane ezivame ukuzalwa: kwaba khona ukuqhathanisa "nomunye umuntu" futhi "owakhe", ngokungazi ukuthi unikela okwesibini. Ngenxa yalokho - umuzwa wecala kanye nesifiso sokulinganisa uthando lwezingane (okungenakwenzeka ukuba yi-priori). Isu elilungile: vele ubathande - yize ngezindlela ezahlukene (lokhu kuvamile!), Zama ukukhokha ngokulinganayo, isibonelo, ukuheha umdala ekunakekeleni ingane - kodwa ngaphandle kokucindezelwa!
Indima yomama
Ukubumbana kobudlelwane phakathi kwengane kanye nomntwana wesilisa kuncike kakhulu ezimisweni owalandela enkambeni yokukhulisa indodana noma indodakazi. Uma ngabe uyinto yonke enganeni, wayehlala kuyo, uzobe ecasukile ngomcabango wokuthi umama wayesifisa ukufisa okuthile okuthile - watshengisa umalume wakhe futhi manje uyamkhathalela! Uma ukhulise ingane engoma yakho oyintandokazi yomama ongayedwa "Bonke abalimi - bayo ...", ingane izozama ukuxwayisa umama wayo isinyathelo esingalungile noma idelele: "Kuvele ukuthi uzobhekana nalokhu" okunengekayo "! Dweba iziphetho.
Abesifazane abaningi babesaba ukwesaba kokukhulelwa okungapheli, kufaka phakathi, futhi ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi lo mlingani uzothatha izindaba ngokukhanya okubi.
Akuwona konke okubi kakhulu! Ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwa ama-sociologist aseMelika, abangaphezu kwesigamu samadoda abaxoxwa (abangaphansi kweminyaka engama-30!) Bayakujabulela ukufunda ngokukhulelwa kwesigamu sabo-ngaphandle kwalolu hlelo.
Imibono yendabuko ngezindinganiso zesilisa nabesifazane: zidluliselwa kumntwana enkambweni yemfundo, futhi ngokuvamile umfana uzwa kusukela ebuntwaneni: "Kungani lezi zithandani zithinta?", "Amantombazane kuphela adlala amadonsa!" Ingabe kuyamangaza ukuthi, njengoba esemdala, Ucabanga ukuthi ukuphikisana nomntwana akuyona into umuntu akukhathazayo?
Ukulindela umphakathi: kungekudala kakhulu emphakathini kwakukhona isimo sengqondo esingahlonipheki kubantu abasebenza ezindlini kanye nezingane (okwakuboniswa ngamagama athi "owesifazane", "rag", "hhayi umuntu"). Imodeli ye "pope owaziyo" isiye yavunyelwa ngokomphakathi eminyakeni eyishumi edlule.
I-dogma mayelana nokuzikhethela komama okungenasisekelo ekuthuthukiseni ingane.
Kumphakathi wezimboni, lapho indima kababa iyancipha ibe yimisebenzi "yokudla kanye nokudla", lokhu, ngempela, kuyinto evamile. Kodwa-ke, ungakhohlwa ukuthi emakhulwini eminyaka edlule, obaba basebenze eduze kwendlu (esitolo noma emhlanganweni) babambe iqhaza ngokuqondile ekukhulisweni kwenzalo! Iminyaka eyizinkulungwane, isiko lombhishobhi wachaza ubaba ngokuthi ungumzali onamandla kakhulu onomthwalo wemfanelo wokuthi yiziphi izinhlobo zezingane zakhe ekugcineni ezikhulayo. Futhi, ngendlela, zonke izincwadi zokuziphatha ezinemfundo (njenge "Domostroy") zibhekiswe ngqo kubababa!
Ukuze ube ubaba omuhle, udinga:
Thatha isinyathelo ngezandla zabo. Umsebenzi ezindabeni ezihlobene nentuthuko nokukhuliswa kwengane yisiqinisekiso sokuthi konke kuzosebenza (ngaphandle kokushesha).
Hlanganisa. Ubuhlobo akusona isimo, kuwumsebenzi! Amakhono akhiwa kulo msebenzi (angazi - cela, funda, cela ukukhombisa).
Thola isitayela sakho. Akudingekile ukuba ukopishe indlela yokuziphatha komfazi, kungcono ukuzama "ukugcwalisa izikhala": umama ugxila ekuthuthukiseni ngokomzwelo kwengane - engeza ukusebenza ngokomzimba; emsebenzini womlingani wezemfundo - qhubeka "nokuzijabulisa", njll.
Ungabi nje umsizi, kodwa futhi nomlingani. Isimo sengqondo sendabuko kubaba njengomvikeli futhi sithathele umama into yesikhathi esedlule, upapa wanamuhla kuzo zonke izindaba zasekhaya-ezemfundo unamandla okuhambisana!
Ukunikeza umndeni isikhathi nesikhathi. Ngisho noma umatasa kakhulu! Iqiniso lokuthi "umbuthano osondelene" uyinto esemqoka akusekungabaza. Umndeni yilokho okuzohlala njalo kuwe - futhi kusukela ekunakekeleni kwakho (ngezinye izikhathi kungabalulekile!) Izwe nokuthula endlini kuxhomeke kakhulu.
Ukulungele ukubeletha akuyona into engokwemvelo, kodwa isigaba sokukhula komuntu: umuntu ufuna ukuhlanganisa uthando olunamandla ekuphileni okusha. Iqiniso lokuthi amadoda nabesifazane ukulungela ukubeletha kunezici ezithile eziyinkimbinkimbi.
Kuqondene nobuntu bomuntu ngokuzimisela kwakhe ukuba ngumzali kanye nalawo angqondo angaphakathi awenza / awanqande. Izithombe zesobaba nomama esikhathini esizayo zibeka ukuhlangenwe nakho komuntu kanye nobaba nomama wabo, okunye okufaka isandla: ukugunyaza ubaba nokuqondisa ezweni elingaphandle, umama - ukudlulisela ikhono lokuthuthukisa izwe langaphakathi lemizwa.
Ukuzalwa kwengane kuyimfihlakalo yeMvelo, futhi uma iNdalwa ivikela ukukhulelwa, noma ngabe ingavunyelwe, kuyisibonakaliso: ufanelwe ukuqhubeka. Ungamdumazi ngokungahloniphi kwakho.