Ukuzethemba ngokwempela yilokho mfanelo abaningi bethu ekuphileni kwethu ngokuvamile abaphuthelwa. Ikakhulukazi abesifazane abenza ucwaningo olungokwengqondo, basuke benomthelela omubi wokugxekwa okuvela ngaphandle nokuzibeka eceleni kunamadoda. Indlela yokuzethemba, ukukhulisa ukuzethemba nokuzithanda wena, funda esihlokweni sethu samanje.
Umzila omuhle: yini ukuzethemba nokuzethemba
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale iseluleko esiwusizo, udinga ukuqonda ukuthi yini - ukuzethemba. Ngokwengqondo, umqondo wokuzethemba ubhekwa ngombono wekhwalithi yomuntu siqu futhi usho ukuhlola okuhle kwamakhono namakhono akho. Ukuqiniseka kuqala ukwakha ebuntwaneni, lapho umntwana eqala ukuqhathanisa impumelelo yakhe encane kanye nokwaneliseka kokuziphatha okutholiwe. Uma phakathi nalesi sikhathi abazali kanye nemvelo yengane bayamsekela, bajabule futhi badumise, khona-ke ingane ikhula ngokholo emakhono akhe. Ngako-ke, ukugxekwa, ikakhulukazi inhlanhla nokuhlukumezeka, nokuntuleka kokusekela kubangela indlela yokwakhiwa kwezinkathazo nokungazikholelwa ngokwabo.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, udumo olungenangqondo nokunakekelwa ngokweqile kuyingozi futhi ekubunjweni komuntu wengane, njengoba kuwukugxeka ngokweqile nokuqina. Izindumiso ezizungezile kanye nezindumiso ngaphandle kwesizathu ziba yisizathu sokulinganisa ngokwanele kwemizamo yabo, okuqhubekayo kuholela ekwakheni izimfanelo ezinjalo, njengokuzethemba nokuziqhenya. Umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokuzethemba nokuziqhenya yizinga lokulingana lokuhlola amandla akho nempumelelo yakho. Umuntu othembekile unamandla okuhlola ngokucacile amakhono abo nesicelo sabo ukuze bafeze imigomo yabo. Umuntu onokwethenjelwa akakwazi lokhu: akazitholi ukugxeka, akabheki izinsongo ezikhona, ngokuvamile engozini ngaphandle kwesidingo esiqondile. Ngokuphathelene nabantu abazethembayo bavame ukutshelwa ukuthi izifiso zabo ziphuma esikalini futhi ziziphakamisela ezenzweni zokuhamba. Njengomthetho, ukuzithemba kukhona amaphutha emfundo, futhi kuphela ke izici zobuntu.
Ngakho-ke, ukuzethemba kuyisisekelo sokuziphatha okwanele komuntu, isibambiso sokuphumelela nokuphumelela kwempumelelo yayo. Ukuzithemba kuhlobene eduze nomunye umqondo wengqondo - ukuzihlonipha, okubhekisela emcabangweni womuntu wokubaluleka kwawo, ukufaneleka kwawo kanye nokudangala. Ukuzihlonipha okuzenzekelayo kuhambisana nokuzithemba ngokweqile, futhi kuncike ngokulandelanayo, okubonakala ngokungavikeleki emakhono abo. Okuhle - ukuzethemba okufanele, lapho umuntu eqiniseka kuye, futhi ngemuva kwalokhu kuqiniseka akusilo izifiso ezingenalutho, kodwa kuncane kakhulu izimfanelo zomuntu siqu nezimpumelelo.
Izizathu eziyinhloko zokuziphendulela
Okuyinhloko, kodwa kude nokuphela kwesizathu sokuntuleka kokuzithemba, sesivele sikhulume ngenhla yizici zokukhuliswa nobuhlobo obunempilo emndenini. Kodwa uma isimo somndeni kwakuwukuphela kwesici esinqunyiwe, akunakwenzeka ukuthi umlando wazi izibonelo ezinhle kakhulu zabantu abaphumelelayo emindenini engasebenzi, abathi, "bazenzele". Lezi zibonelo ezifanayo ziwubufakazi obuqondile bokuthi izimbangela eziningi zokungavikeleki zikhona kithi. Yini eyenza lokhu kuhlanganiswa okungabonakali?
Ukungazi iqiniso lami "I"
Okokuqala, ukungazi nokwehluleka kokuzibonakalisa okucacile. Ukuze siqonde ukuthi yini esengozini sizokwenza isibonelo esilula. Sonke siphila enkambweni yokuphila indima eminingana esizikhomba yona. Owesifazane, izindima ezinjalo zivame ukuba: Indodakazi, Intombazane, Isikole, Intombazane, Umfundi, Othandekayo, Owesifazane, Osebenza Njalo, Owesifazane, Umama, Ugogo ... Ngokuya ngezimo zokuphila kanye nezinto eziza kuqala, ukuhleleka, inombolo kanye nokubunjwa kwalezi zindima kungahlukahluka. Kodwa lokoqobo luhlala lufana nalokhu: sijwayele ukuzibonakalisa ngokwemisebenzi yethu ngayinye futhi singazi ukuthi yini ebangela lezi maski. Kodwa uma ulahla yonke imihlangano yezenhlalakahle futhi wabeka izithombe, khona-ke kukhona "uhamba" kuphela, lapho sikhona sikhohlwe khona. Ngakho-ke, uma owesifazane ejwayele ukuzikhomba, isibonelo, ngokuqina kwakhe nendima yomqondisi, ukuzethemba kwakhe kuzophela lapho nje esilahlekelwa ibhizinisi lakhe. Isimo esifanayo silindele futhi umama, oqhakazile ngokuphelele ezinganeni zakhe futhi ephila ngokuthanda nezithakazelo zezingane kuphela. Lapho nje izingane zikhula, owesifazane onjalo ulahlekelwa umuzwa wokuzethemba futhi uyeka ukujabulela ukuphila.
Ukungabi nencazelo efanele yokuphila
Okwesibili, ukuzethemba ngokweqile kuncike ekutheni ulwazi olucacile lwencazelo yempilo yakho. Ukubuyela esibonelweni somama, kungashiwo ukuthi izingane ezindala zilahla umama wezinto eziyinhloko empilweni yakhe - ukubakhathalela. Akumangalisi ukuthi ukuhlala iminyaka eminingi ngokuqiniseka ukuthi izingane ziyizincazelo zokuba khona, owesifazane ulahlekile futhi akakwazi ukuqhubeka. Akaphephile, ukuthi uyakwazi ukuzibona kwenye indlela futhi engazi ukuthi angaphila kanjani. Sula ulwazi ngemigomo yakho, ukuba khona kwepulani lokuphila ngokuhambisana nokuzisiza kusiza ukugwema leli phutha.
Ukungakwazi ukuthi "Cha"
Futhi, okwesithathu, labo abangakwazi ukudweba imingcele yabo siqu nalabo ababazungezile ngokuvamile bavame ukungavikeleki. Uma kunzima ukuthi uthi "Cha" kumuntu ongenakukhathazeka nawe, noma uvame ukuvumela abajwayelene nabo basebenzise umusa wakho mahhala, cishe kungenzeka ukuthi uncike kakhulu emibonweni yabanye. Kuyinto lokhu kuncike ekudaleni ukungabaza. Abesifazane, ngenxa yobungqingili be-psychology yabo, baqinisekiswa kakhulu ngokuthi "ukuhlanganisa" nabanye. Isibonelo esicacile ukuzibonakalisa usana nosana eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila kwakhe. Ukuhlangana okunjalo kuyindlela yemvelo eqinisekisa ukuhlala kwengane. Kuzo zonke ezinye izimo, ukungabi khona kwemingcele yomuntu ocacile kuholela ekuthuthukiseni kwengqondo komuntu kanye nobuhlungu bayo. Ngakho-ke, yiqiniso, ayikho into ekhuluma ngokuzethemba.
Indlela yokuzethemba kowesifazane onamandla: iseluleko esiwusizo
Masibhale masinyane umyalezo owodwa obalulekile: ukwakha ukuzethemba kuthatha isikhathi futhi usebenze ngokwakho. Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukusebenzisa izincomo zethu, thola isikhathi sokufinyelela umphumela oyifunayo. Kufanele abe yiqiniso, akufanele kube khona ongakhetha "ukuzethemba ngokweviki". Kubalulekile ukuthi ucabange ngokucacile lokho okushiwo ukuthi "ukuqiniseka" kuzobandakanya. Kunconywa ukuthi ubhale uhlu lwezimfanelo ocabanga ukuthi owesifazane oqinile futhi othembekile ofuna ukuba naye. Uhlu nemigomo ngeke kukusize nje ukuzimisela, kepha kuzobeka imigomo ephakathi kwakho. Njengoba bethi, indlovu kufanele idliwe ngeziqephu.
Ukwenza kube lula ngawe ukuba ufeze lo msebenzi, sinikeza uhlu olulinganiselwa lwezimfanelo ukuthi, ngokwezibalo zengqondo, abantu abanethemba abanalo. Ungayithatha njengesisekelo futhi ungeze ngezinto zakho. Ngakho, owesifazane othembekile uhlukile:
- inhloso
- kuyoba namandla
- ukuzijabulisa
- ukuzimisela
- ikhono
- isimo sengqondo esihle
- sula imingcele yomuntu siqu
- ukuzihlola ngokwanele
- ukucindezeleka ukumelana
- ukuqonda izidingo zabo
- ikhono lokulawula imizwelo yomuntu
- ukuqaphela ubuthakathaka babo
- amandla okusebenza aphezulu
- isifiso sokuzigcwalisa
Ngemva kokukhipha uhlu lwakho lwezimfanelo, ulihlaziye futhi ubeke uphawu lokuhlola eduze kwezinto ozihambisani nazo okwamanje. Izimpawu ezingabonakali zizoba imigomo yakho ephakathi, okuzokwazi ukuyenza kancane kancane.
Ngokuphathelene nesikhathi, ngokwesilinganiso, umuntu uthatha cishe unyaka ukuze afinyelele imiphumela ebonakalayo "ekufundiseni" yena ngokwakhe. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi ube nesineke futhi kancane kancane uhambele umgomo.
Indlela yokuzethemba futhi ukhulise ukuzethemba kwakho: ukuzivocavoca okuphumelelayo kakhulu
Ngakho, ngokuchaza uhlelo lohlelo, udinga ukuqhubekela phambili ukuyiqalisa. Usizo kulezi zivivinyo ezikhethekile zengqondo okuhloswe ngazo ekusebenzeni ubuthakathaka bakho.
Yithi: "Yeka!"
Isibonelo, uma uhlangabezana nemingcele yomuntu ongacacile, kudingeka usebenze ukuvikela izithakazelo zakho. Ukuphumelela kakhulu kulokhu kuyisenzo esibizwa ngokuthi "Stop": njalo lapho umuntu ovela ezihlotsheni zakho, abangane noma ozakwabo ekucela enye inkonzo esiza izithakazelo zakho, mtshele ukuthi "Cha" ecacile. Okokuqala, ungazijwayeza phambi kwesibuko noma nomlingani, ulahlekelwe isimo esifanayo kuso. Funda ukwenqaba ngokuqinile, kodwa ngokuthula, eqondiswa ukuqonda, hhayi umzwelo. Futhi ngenkathi uqinisekile ukuthi ilungelo lakho lifika ku-100%. Ukuvivinya okukhethekile okufanayo kungatholakala kwekhwalithi ngayinye evela ohlwini lwakho lokuzethemba, okudingeka usebenze kulo.
Cabanga ngokwakho njengesithombe somfazi ophumelelayo
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukulingisa impumelelo yangaphandle kuyasiza kakhulu ekwakheni ukuzethemba. Kuqondene nendlela yokuziphatha yamaphethini wokuziphatha ahambelana nabantu abaphumelelayo nabanethemba. Zenzele wena izinga lomfazi oqinile, othembekile. Kungaba udumo, umngane wakho noma nje isithombe sakho sokukhohlisa. Hlola ngokucophelela ukuziphatha kwakho okuhle: inothi ukuthi ukhuluma kanjani, ukuthi uziphatha kanjani ezimweni ezinzima, ukuthi uxazulula kanjani izinkinga. Okubalulekile ukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kokuqiniseka, isibonelo, ukugqoka, indlela yokugqoka, ukubonisa ubuso nesenzo. Ngemva kokuhlaziya idatha, zama ukuthola ezinye zazo. Isibonelo, okuhle kakhulu ekwakheni ukuzethemba kuthinta ukuma okulungile. Funda ukugcina umhlane wakho uqondile, ungakhubeki futhi ungadli. Qalisa ukuzethemba kwakho phambi kwesibuko noma ngencwadi ekhanda lakho.
Zithande wena
Kodwa into esemqoka ukuzithanda wena. Owesifazane othembekile uyahlonipha njalo futhi uyazisa yena nomzimba wakhe. Unesabelo sokuzwakalisa ukuzwakalisa umsindo, kodwa lokhu akumvimbeli ukuba azithande futhi azithuthukise njalo. Okokuqala, bona "izikhala" ebuntwini bakho okukuvimbela ukuthi ungathandi. Uma lezi zici nje zangaphandle njengekhilogi engenasici noma isikhumba senkinga, yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuwaqeda kanye nhlobo. Uma izizathu zithinta kakhulu, ke ubheke, isibonelo, kumuntu ongokwengqondo ongakusiza ukuthi angakusiza ukuba ubhekane "neziphambeko" ezingqondweni. Ungakhohlwa ngemithombo yakho yangaphakathi, njengokuthi, amandla nokugqugquzela - qiniseka ukuthi uyayisebenzisa ukuze uthuthuke.
Manje uyakwazi ukuphakamisa ukuzethemba kwakho futhi ube nokuzethemba. Qala indlela yakho yokuzethemba namhlanje futhi maduzane uzobona imiphumela emihle yokuqala!