Incazelo ejwayelekile: yini engashintsha umfana othandekayo mayelana nayo?
- Uma lokhu kungumlingani wakho, hhayi wena ngokwakho, kufanele ulindele ukusungula ubuhlobo obufudumele nobuqotho phakathi kwalabo bobabili empeleni.
- Uma ephusheni ubonile noma uthola ukuthi umfana uguqule nomngane wakho, khona-ke kufaneleka ukunaka, hhayi okhethiweyo wakho. Uphatha umngane wakho njengothisha, futhi ucabange ukuthi unezinto eziningi zokuphila. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubona umngane intombi, futhi hhayi ngempela ezindabeni zenhliziyo. Yingakho ubona amaphupho anjalo.
- UMiller ukholelwa ukuthi umfana onquma ukukhaphela ephusheni, kusho isikhathi sokungaboni kahle nokungavumelani phakathi kozakwethu empeleni. Kufanele uqaphele kakhulu izithakazelo nezidingo zomunye nomunye ukuze uhlele ubudlelwane obuvumelanayo.
- Encwadini efanayo yephupho kubhaliwe ukuthi uma ephusheni ngandlela-thile wafunda ngokungathembeki komuntu othandekayo, kusho ukuthi amanye amaqiniso avela ekuphileni kwakho kwangempela adinga ukunakwa kwakho. Kufanele uqaphele imininingwane eminingi ehlangane nawe ngesikhathi sombono: abantu, amakheli noma indawo. Kungenzeka ukuthi uzohlangana nezimo ezifanayo futhi empeleni.
Yini othandekayo ephuphayo, funda lapha
Isoka lami liyangishintsha: ukuchazwa kwencwadi yephupho
- Encwadini yephupho likaVanga kuthiwa emva kokuphupha, lapho umfana eshintshile khona, kufanele uqaphele futhi ubheke kahle indawo yakho: kungenzeka kube khona abantu abanobugebengu lapho.
- Umlobi wephupho kaFreud ukholelwa ukuthi umbono onjalo usho ukuthi ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumthandi wakho, nakuba kungekho sizathu salokho. Qinisekisa ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho abuyisongelwa yiyiphi ingozi futhi bayohlala befudumele futhi bevumelana isikhathi eside.
- Ngokusho kwesinye isichazamazwi, ukungathembeki komfana kusho ukuthi le ntombazane inezinhloso eziphakeme kakhulu zokuphila ngokobulili, kanti lo mlingani akayikufanele ngempela. Lokhu kuyisixwayiso kunkosikazi ukuthi kudingeka ahlolisise izidingo zakhe kanye namathuba omlingani wakhe.
- Ngokuvamile ungathola incazelo ehluke ngokuphelele. Isibonelo, ubonile ephusheni ukukhashelwa isoka lakho. Ungazitholi ngokushesha ngemva kokuvusa kuye ngemibuzo. Kunalokho, udinga ukucabangela kabusha ukuziphatha kwakho bese ulungisa umlingisi kancane, ube ngaphezulu futhi uhlale uthembekile, ukuze othandekayo azizwe ekhululekile enkampanini yakho.
Ukukhohlakala kwesoka lesandulela
Ukwelapha la maphupho kunzima, ngoba udinga ukucabangela isimo sangokomzwelo sombono.
- Encwadini kaMiller yokuphupha kubhaliwe ukuthi uma uke wabhekana nezikhathi ezimbalwa ezingathandeki emva kokubona ukukhishwa komlingani wakho wangaphambili, akufanele ukhathazeke. Empeleni, ibhizinisi lakho lizohamba kahle, futhi ubuhlobo nabathandekayo bamanje buzobe ngcono kangcono nsuku zonke.
- UVanga ukholelwa ukuthi ngisho noma ubona ukungathembeki kwesoka lakho langaphambili, kusho ukuthi awuqondi ngokugcwele ukuphela kobudlelwane bakho. Kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona namanje amacala angaxazululwa noma umane nje umhawu nge-ex yakho ukuya entombazaneni entsha.
Njengoba ukuchazwa kwamaphupho anjalo kubanzi futhi kunengqondo, kubalulekile ukucabangela ubuhlobo bombhangqwana empeleni. Kuphela ezimweni ezinjalo ungakwazi ukuhumusha ngokufanele izibonakaliso ukuthi umuntu ongenalwazi uyathumela kuwe ngendlela yemibono yasebusuku.