Ukuziphatha komuntu owazalwa ngonyaka wenja cishe kuhlale kubikezelwa, kodwa izenzo ezithile ohlelweni lwezenzo ezilindelekile ezivela kuye azibe zingalindelekile. La madoda ahlale efuna ukuphakama okungenakufinyeleleka futhi adumazeka kakhulu uma ekwazi ukuguqula iphupho. Ngokuvamile, amaphupho yisici esiyisisusa esibaqondisa. Futhi uma inganekwane iba yinto engokoqobo, umuntu onjalo angase akhathazeke ngoba engakabi nephupho elisha.
Kubangane, izenzo zendoda ezelwe ngonyaka wenja kaningi ezingenangqondo, ukuhleka kwemizwa kwakhe kuvame ukuletha isimo selungu elingenakunyaka futhi elingaphambene nenkampani, futhi uhlamvu lwakhe luvame ukubonakaliswa okulimazayo komhawu obungane. Kodwa zonke lezi ziphutha zokuziphatha kubangane bakhe zihlawulelwa yinzuzo eyodwa enkulu: izithakazelo zalabo abazalwa ngonyaka wenja bezifake enhliziyweni yakhe, baba yizinto eziza kuqala kuye. Enecala lomngani wakhe lowo muntu ngeke anikeze. Ebhekene nokulwela ukunqoba ubulungisa, uzovikela wonke umuntu eduze kwakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiziphi izithiyo. Abangane abanjalo benza abantu baqhubekele phambili, bazivikele ngokumelene nezitha ngisho nalapho kubonakala sengathi akukho phuzu kulokhu. Abangane abanjalo bahlukaniswa nokuthembeka okungaqiniseki: kusuka kulowo ozalwa ngonyaka wenja ungumngane, ngeke anqabe, ngisho noma umhlaba wonke uphendukela kuzo zombili. Ubuhlobo nomuntu onjalo bugcwele amathuba amaningi, futhi kunzima ukulahlekelwa yiyo. Ngenxa yalokhu kuyadingeka ukufeza okuthile umuntu onjalo oyobhekwa njengokungathengi okungenakuthethelelwa. Futhi ezintweni ezinjalo inja-muntu ithathwa ngokuthi yizinyathelo ezimbalwa kakhulu: ukukhashelwa nomthandi, ukukhashelwa umngane wesithathu noma ukubulala ingane. Yiqiniso, kuwo wonke umuntu ozalwa ngaphansi kwesibonakaliso senja, uhlu lwakhe lweziphambeko ezingenakuxolelwa zabangane luyinto evamile, kodwa isilinganiso sabo kufanele simangele ukuba simshiye umngane wakhe.
Uthando lomuntu owazalwa ngonyaka weNja.
Ngothando, amadoda anjalo angenasisekelo, angavinjelwe futhi afuna. Kodwa inzuzo yabo engenakuphikwa yukuthi kusukela okhethiweyo wabo ngeke neze balinde lokho bona ngokwabo abakulungele ukuhamba. Kuncike ukuthi angathanda, kunjalo. Uthando nomuntu ozalwa ngonyaka wenja luyivivinyo langempela, okungeke kwenzeke ukuthi owesifazane akwazi ukulungele ngokushesha. Kodwa uma ephumelela ekutholeni inhliziyo yakhe, uzolinda ngesineke aze ajwayele imithetho emisha yobuhlobo kuye. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzosizwa ngekhefu nomuntu onjalo: ukubekezela kwakhe nenhloso kungaba yinto yokukhwele. Kodwa kuphela esimweni ukuthi uzizwa ukubuya kwemizwa yakhe kusuka okhethiweyo wakhe. Futhi intuition ya madoda anjalo ithuthuka ngokungavamile. Futhi bayakwazi lokhu kahle kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, ukuziphatha kwabo othandweni akungaziwa ngaphambili kusengaphambili kumuntu ngokwakhe: ngokuzinikezela ngokugcwele amandla omzimba wakhe wesithupha, uthanda ukugebha ngokugeleza, ubukele lapho ukukwazi kwakhe ukubona khona izenzakalo kuyoholela khona.
Inja eyindoda ivame kakhulu.
Yini evimbela ukuba aphumelele emisebenzini eminingi. Kodwa-ke, uma ubheka ukuthi ukugcwaliseka kwephupho kuye - isizathu sokungena ekucindezelekeni, mhlawumbe, mhlawumbe, izinkimbinkimbi - kuphela umkhiqizo wesistimu yokuzivikela yobuntu bakhe. Kunoma yikuphi, umholi womuntu owazalwa ngonyaka wenja, kuvela ngokucindezela okukhulu futhi akuyona inhloso njalo. Kodwa kukhona ukukhetha okujabulisayo. Naphezu kokuthi lezi zibalo zivame ukufunwa imisebenzi ekhethekile, zidinga imali kakhulu. Yini echazwe ngenye imfanelo ekhethekile yokuziphatha kwayo: ayasebenza ngendlela engavamile, engenakuzithoba ngokuphelele ezimweni zokusebenza futhi cishe ayengazi lutho. Ngomsebenzi onjalo, isimo sezulu esiqenjini sibaluleke ngaphezu kwezinga lomsebenzi.
Abazali, ukuziphatha kwendodana ezalwa ngaphansi kwesibonakaliso senja kuyimfihlakalo. Ukuqiniseka ukuthi kusukela ngesikhathi sokuthola umuntu omdala, akadingeki ukuba athole kubo, futhi avela kuye, ingane enjalo cishe ngeke yabelane nabazali bakhe ngokuhlangenwe nakho nokulahlekelwa. Naphezu kwamakhono akwazi ukusebenzisana nabantu, inja yindoda ikwazi ukuhlala ivalwe ngokugcwele futhi ifihliwe nabazali bayo. Ngeke abanikeze izizathu zokuhlukana kwakhe noma ukucabanga okuyimfihlo ngothando lokuqala. Kodwa kuyoba yile ndodana, efanelwe ukuziqhenya ngekhwalithi yobuntu bakhe. Kuye, abazali bazohlala beyisibonelo sokulingisa nabantu abangakwazi ukugxekwa ngokuphila.
Ukungalungi kwalowo muntu.
Mayelana nenye yezinkinga eziyinhloko ekuziphatheni kwenja yendoda ezalwa ngonyaka, kufanelekile ukukhuluma ngokwehlukana. Ukuziphendulela, ngezinye izikhathi kumsusa kumyeni onothando abe ngumuntu ongathandwayo, ohaha ngenxa yezinyembezi zokudabuka kwakhe, ukuchitha ubuhlobo bakhe obuningi. Lapho efuna ukuphindiselela, ulungele ukunyathela noma yiziphi izimiso zokuziphatha nokuziphatha, ukwenza izenzo ezifanele ukulahlwa konke. Kodwa, esikhwameni senja yowesilisa, kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi kulokhu ekugcineni ebuhlotsheni bobulili obuhlukile, abangane noma osebenza nabo, ubeka ngokungafanele ukungabi nabulungisa okungenangqondo kwesimo sengqondo kuye. Kodwa uma umuntu onjalo enquma ukuphindiselela, kufaneleke ukwesaba ukulimala okubuhlungu kakhulu. Izinja ezidume ziyaziwa ngokudumile ngokugcina kwazo: zinomthelela kakhulu ukuveza iphuzu elibuhlungu kakhulu lesitha sazo futhi zishaye ngalo lonke amandla abo.
Kuyaphawuleka ukuthi injabulo yokunqoba ubulungisa noma ukujeziswa komuntu ohlwini lwezitha, inja-muntu ngeke ikwazi ukubhekana nezinga. Njenganoma yikuphi ukunqoba, lokhu kuwubuhle obunzima, cishe, ngisho nokumphonsa ekuphelelwe ithemba. Kodwa uzobe efuna ukuphindiselela kumenzi wecala. Yiqiniso, uma efunda ukuthi ukuphindisela kwakhe kwakungavumelekile - ngokuvumelana nezindinganiso zakhe ezithandekayo - khona-ke kungaba yinto edabukisayo kakhulu. Kuze kube nokugula okungathí sina kwengqondo. Noma kunjalo, lokhu kwenzeka namadoda azalwa ngonyaka wenja ngokungajwayelekile: ngokuhlolisisa ikhwalithi yomuntu onomgomo futhi cishe njalo ekugxeka kwabo kulungile. Futhi bayathanda ukugxeka.