Ngempela, kungani kungekho muntu olahla indoda eneminyaka engu-40 ubudala nenkosikazi eneminyaka engu-20 ubudala, kodwa isichotho sokuhlambalaza siwela kowesifazane ohlambalaza nomuntu omncane ngesikhathi esesilisa? Noma ingabe inqubomgomo yamazinga amabili alawula ibhola ngokuqhubekayo?
Imfashini yamadoda amancane athulwe yizinkanyezi zaseHollywood. Izibonelo ezithinta kakhulu imishado ehlabayo phakathi komlingisi nomlobi uJoan Collins noPerse Gibson (umehluko oneminyaka engu-32 ubudala), abalingisi be-Goldie Hawn noKurt Russell (iminyaka eyisithupha yeminyaka kanye nezingane ezintathu ezivamile), umlingisi uSusan Sarandon nomqondisi uTim Robbins (iminyaka engu-12 umahluko, abathathu izingane), umlingisi uJuliana Moore nomqondisi uBart Freundlich (iminyaka eyisishiyagalolunye umahluko, izingane ezintathu ezivamile), umlingisi uRaquel Welch nomnikazi webhizinisi lokudlela uRichard Palmer (iminyaka engu-20 umehluko), umlingisi uDemi Moore nomdlali we-Ashton Kutcher (iminyaka engu-15 umahluko). Abantu abakholelwa ukuthi amantombazane amancane kuphela amahle afanele ukuthanda uthando lwangempela ngamadoda, sincoma ukuthi sikhumbule ukuhlaziywa kukaJosephine Bogarne, uCleopatra, uMadame de Pompadour, uCarla Bruni Sarkozy - laba besifazane baseBalzac abaneminyaka yobudala, futhi hhayi amahle kakhulu, babethandwa amadoda abo. Ukuntula amandla kwabesifazane asebekhulile kwakondliwa iNkosi yaseNgilandi uHenry VIII, uJulius Caesar noBenjamin Franklin.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani izinsizwa zikhanga abesifazane asebekhulile ziningi. Kungaba njengemizwa ejulile yangempela, nesifiso sokwenza isifiso sokunyuka kwezindleko zomunye umuntu. Nokho, isimo esifanayo sibonakala ebuhlotsheni bamadoda amadala namantombazane amancane. Ngakho-ke, ngeke sihlulele ngokuqinile, kodwa ake sifinyelele ekugcineni. Okufanayo, endaweni yokujwayele.
Ngakho-ke, owesifazane ovuthiwe uyaziphi futhi wazi kanjani umfana osemusha?
Uma sibheka izincomo zezinkundla ze-intanethi, indawo engcono kakhulu kulabo abajwayele ukuxhumana nabo yizindawo ezihlukahlukene. Izinzuzo ziyabonakala - ithuba lokukwazi omunye nomunye kubhaliswaneni kanye nesibambiso sezibopho. Ngendlela, ngakho-ke uyazi, madodakazi, izinsizwa eziningi ezineminyaka engu-18 nangaphezulu zivutha ngesifiso sokujabula ngokushisa komphefumulo wabo oshisayo nomzimba wabesifazane abaneminyaka engu-30-40 ubudala. Ezimweni eziningi abantu abajwayele ukuxhumana nabo basho ukuthi, kuphela, kuphela ngokocansi, kodwa lokho esihogweni akusiyikuhleka. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubuhlobo bobulili obuvusa amadlingozi buyokhula bube yinkimbinkimbi ejulile futhi enamandla. Ngaphandle kwamasayithi okuphola, akufanele sikhohlwe ngezindawo zokubuthelwa kwabantu abanobulili obuhlukile - izinkundla, amaqembu ahlukene (ubusuku, ezemidlalo, njll), amabhishi, njll. Ngokuvamile, umbuzo uwukuthi - ukuthi owesifazane ovuthiwe wazi kanjani umfana omncane , akufanele kukukhathaze ngokukhethekile. Ukukwazi nomuntu omuhle kungenzeka ngisho nasemsebenzini noma emhlanganweni webhizinisi, kodwa ubuhlobo phakathi kwabathandana nabo lapho kwenzeka ukuphumula nezinye izigameko kusongela ukushisa, ukukhathazeka kwesimo nezinye izinkinga. Ngakho-ke kungcono ukulandela umthetho ongabonakali wezitifiketi zebhizinisi - azikho amanoveli emsebenzini. Yiqiniso, amadoda amaningi athokoza ibhola, ejwayele ukuya emidlalweni nemidlalo yezemidlalo, ngaphandle kokuthi ukubukeka kwabo phakathi komdlalo noma i-duel kuhloswe kakhulu empini kunokuba owesifazane ehlezi eceleni kwabo. Kodwa akunandaba. Konke okufanayo, banemikhakha ehlukene, isikhathi sokuphuma, okufanele basebenzise yibo. Ungacela le nsizwa ethanda ukukusiza ukuvula ijusi noma uhlobo oluthile lwebhokisi, izinkantolo zokushintshanisa (amadoda anjengokuncoma, nakuba aphika leli qiniso elingenakuguquguquka), abonise intshiseko yabo ngomdlalo womdlali, owokugcina ngokuqinisekile uyowunqoba isimo sakhe njengomuntu oseduze emoyeni !! !!
Ngokuvamile, ukuvula amadoda ukuze uthole usizo kuyadingeka futhi kuyasiza. Ngakho ungabulala izinyoni ezimbili ngetshe elilodwa ngesikhathi - bese wenza umngane, futhi uthole usizo. Ngakho-ke, faka umcabango wakho futhi uvele nomqondo othize "wokukhulula" ngoba njengoba okwakunokuthi abesifazane basho ukuthi: "Amandla ethu asebuthakathaka, kodwa ubuthakathaka bethu bungenamkhawulo."
Futhi ngokuqhubekayo kakade, njengoba ikhadi lizolala phansi. Lapho indoda iba nesithakazelo kowesifazane futhi iqala ukuthatha isinyathelo kuqala, kulula kakhulu ukuthuthukisa umuntu ojwayelene nayo, ngaphandle kwalokho zonke izinkomba zesifazane kuzodingeka zisetshenziswe. Lapha, okubaluleke kakhulu, ungayidluli, ukuze ungesabi umdlalo kusengaphambili. Ezimweni eziningi, ebuhlotsheni nabesifazane asebekhulile, amadoda ngokuyinhloko ahambisana nesipiliyoni socansi. Ngakho, ukudumazeka okuncane nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, owesifazane udinga ukulungele ukuthuthukiswa okunjalo kwezenzakalo. Kodwa-ke, lapho esemdala, owesifazane akahle kakhulu ngokuphathelene nokuhlukana kobuhlobo, futhi ngokujwayelekile ebuhlotsheni ngokwabo. Nakuba izici zomuntu ngamunye zengqondo yesifazane, isimo sengqondo somphakathi, imfundo kanye nombono wokuphila futhi akufanele siphonswe eceleni.
Ngandlela-thile, ngokungafani nemibhangqwana lapho indoda endala, njengombuso, igcina yonke into elawulwayo futhi ihola umndeni, ngobili ngabafazi asebekhulile ngokuvamile bahlakulele ubudlelwane obuningi besibusa ngentando yeningi, ngokulinganisela okungcono nokusabalalisa kwemithwalo yemfanelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, imiphumela yocwaningo lwezenhlalakahle lithole ukuthi ezimweni eziningi, insizwa ayiqali kuphela ubudlelwane, kodwa futhi yenza imihlatshelo ethile ngenxa yokubambisana nomuntu omdala kunokuba yena. Ngaphansi kwethonya lomngane omdala, insizwa ivame ukuba "endleleni efanele": ikhetha umsebenzi "ovamile", izifundo futhi yenza umsebenzi.
Ngokwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uFrank Pittman, indoda yangempela idinga owesifazane kunoma yimuphi ubudala - uma emthanda, uhle naye, futhi uyamjabulisa. Futhi uma ukuphila kunqunywe ukuthi omunye wabesilisa ubelethwe kamuva, kanti omunye ngaphambili, kodwa abantu bayakujabulela ukuhlala emphakathini womunye nomunye, kufanelekile ukulalela izinkolelo ezide zesikhathi eside kanye nenhlebo, futhi evame ukukhala ngomona?