Umuntu uzizwa kanjani ngemva kokuhlukanisa?

Ukuphazamiseka komndeni - kuhlale kusimaza. Ukuhlukaniswa kunzima kokubili amadoda nabesifazane. Nakuba ekuqaleni, abesifazane bahamba ngokuhlukana kakhudlwana, kuyinkolelo. Ngemuva kwesihlukaniso, bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane bahlangabezana nezikhathi ezinzima.

Ngokuqondene nabesifazane kuphela, umphakathi awuvimbeli ukukhala, ukukhononda kubangani noma ukuxoxa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo esithangamini. Uma umuntu ohlukanisile enza okufanayo, kubangela ukusabela kokulahlwa. Ngokuvamile indoda ngemva kwesahlukaniso iphoqeleka ukuba ikwazi konke ngaphakathi kwayo, ingabe ingabeki imizwa nemizwa yakhe ngaphandle.

Abantu bazizwa kanjani ngemva kokuhlukaniswa? Ubuhlungu, ukudumazeka, umuzwa wokulahlekelwa, ukwesaba ukwenza iphutha, ukufutheka kweminyaka edlulile. Ukwahlukanisa kuyinguquko yomhlaba wonke empilweni engadluli ngaphandle komkhondo womuntu psyche nomphefumulo womuntu. Futhi kubonakala ukuthi amadoda athola isahlukaniso esikhulu kakhulu futhi esindayo kunabesifazane. Abakwazanga ukukhala nokukhuluma, bashukumisa imizwa engqondweni. Futhi njengoba le mizwa ingalungile ngokuphelele futhi ingathandeki, ingaholela ekuguleni komzimba, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokuholela emicabangweni yokuzibulala.

Ingozi yalesi sifo ngemuva kokuhlukanisa phakathi kokubili amadoda nabesifazane inyuselwa ingxenye yesithathu. Esikhathini sokuphila okuphakade, abantu abaphindwe kasithupha ngokuphindaphindiwe baphendukela ezingqondweni zezokwelapha kanye ne-psychotherapists. Amadoda aphindwe kathathu amathuba okuzikhukhumeza ngokweqile kunokwesifazane, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi azama ukuzibulala.

Naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi, ngokubona okungenangqondo, abesifazane bashukumiseleka kakhulu ukugcina umshado, ngokutadisha ngokujulile ngalokhu kuvela ukuthi amadoda ahlukana kakhulu kunabesifazane.

Isikhathi sokuguquguquka jikelele emva kokuhlukanisa singaphatha iminyaka engu-1-2, kwabanye abantu sifinyelela eminyakeni emine. Futhi nangu kukhona elinye iphutha elivamile elinde amadoda. Kukholelwa ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa ngokushesha okukhulu kobudlelwane obusha ngemva kokuhlukanisa kubhekene nokuhlukunyezwa okwengeziwe kwengqondo. Futhi ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi indoda izwa ukuthi ayikwazi ukubhekana nesizungu. Abesifazane ngokwabo, ngaphandle kokufunda amathiphu ahlakaniphile namathiphu wezengqondo, bavame ukuthatha isikhathi eside ebuhlotsheni izinyanga eziningana ngisho neminyaka. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi bafika ezinhliziyweni zabo, basuse umthwalo wezinkinga zangesikhathi esidlule, bese beqala ekuqaleni kobudlelwane obusha bekhululekile emizimbeni emibi.

Amadoda aziphatha ngokuphambene nalokho. Noma kunjalo akakhohliwe ebuhlotsheni obudlule, engazange aphule amanxeba, agijimela ebuhlotsheni obusha, njengase-whirlpool enekhanda. Ngenxa yecala elizwakalayo lonesizungu, okungekho ozokhuluma naye, umuntu wenza izinyathelo ezibukhali ekuzameni ukuthola umlingani omusha. Ngokuvamile bayashada masinyane umfazi wokuqala oye wavuka, nje ukuba angashiywe yedwa nosizi lwakhe.

Sixoxe ngezimpendulo ezijwayelekile kuphela embuzweni wokuthi umuntu uzizwa kanjani ngemva kokuhlukanisa. Kodwa emva kwakho konke, kukhona nezinye izici ezibonakalayo zokubonakaliswa kokuhlangenwe nakho ngesikhathi sokuwa komndeni.

Uma kungenangqondo, ukuziphatha kwamadoda ngemva kwesahlukaniso kungahlukaniswa zibe izinhlobo ezintathu.

Uhlobo lokuqala lwamadoda lithatha isimo sengqondo sokuzonda. Benza konke ukuze baphikise impilo yomuntu wangaphambili. Ngezinye izikhathi baxwayisa kusengaphambili ukuthi impilo yomfazi iyoba isihogo uma ekhetha ukuhamba. Kunzima ukucabanga ukuthi umuntu uzizwa kanjani, ngubani ozimisele ukuchitha amandla akhe ekulwa nomfazi. Kubonakala sengathi le mizwa ayikude ne-sublime.

Uhlobo lwesibili lwamadoda lamukela kalula isehlukaniso njengoba kunjalo. Abazami ukuba abangane nomfazi wangaphambili, noma ukulwa naye. Ngenhloko ehlambalaza futhi ekhungathekile othandweni nomshado, baya ekuphileni okuzimele. Futhi, endleleni, amadoda anjalo angakwazi kakhulu ukugcina ubuhlobo bomuntu obuvamile nomuntu owayekade engumkakhe, izingane, abangane kanye nezihlobo zabo zangaphambili.

Futhi, ekugcineni, uhlobo lwesithathu lwamadoda - lawa angamadoda aqeqeshelwa ukulungiselela kuqala futhi akhuthaza. Ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa, baqala ukuzwa uthando kakhulu, baqonde indlela abafuna ngayo umkayo. Noma kunjalo, akuyona into engavamile ukushintsha into esevele iphuzile kakhulu. La madoda angenza konke okusemandleni futhi akwazi ukubuyisela ubuhlobo. Leli qhinga lisebenza kuphela uma owesifazane engabaza okungenani ukuthi ufuna isahlukaniso. Ezimweni eziningi, lokhu akusizi umuntu abuyele umkakhe. Phela, noma yikuphi ukuhlukanisa kuyinkqubo ehlala iminyaka. Ayikho isahlukaniso esiyingozi. Isehlukaniso ngasinye sikulungele iminyaka noma amashumi eminyaka. Ngokuvamile, izihlobo noma abangane babona kuphela iziqu zokugcina zalesi senzakalo. Futhi ngisho noma isehlukaniso salo mbhangqwana singalindelekile kubo, ngoba abashade ngokwabo, ngokuvamile isinqumo esithathe isikhathi eside.

Lezi zinhlobo ezintathu zokuziphatha ezichazwe yile ndoda zingaxutshwa futhi zihlangane ngendlela engavamile kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi indoda iphoqelelwa phakathi kweqhinga elibi futhi lizama ukubuyisela umkakhe, futhi iphela ngesivumelwano sokuthula nokwamukela isimo. Ngokuvamile, akunandaba ukuthi iyiphi indlela yokuziphatha ngemva kwehlukaniso ekhethwe ngumuntu othile. Kunoma yikuphi, ngokuvamile uthola inqubo yesehlukaniso, njengomthetho, okubuhlungu kakhulu kunowesifazane. Ngisho noma ngaphandle lihlala lizolile ngokuphelele.