Abesifazane abaningi, njengamadoda, abafisi ukungena kunxantathu yothando, naphezu kokuguquka okuyisisekelo emphakathini ehlotshaniswa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, ukufaka esikhundleni sokuziphatha okusakazwa kumaphephandaba, umqondo onqunywe wokunciphisa igunya lomndeni. Isizathu nokuqonda okujwayelekile kusitshela ukuthi singaphila.
Njengomthetho, uthando lwezintathu zangasese luphuka ngokushesha, ikakhulukazi uma amadoda ashadile ekhona kulesi simiso. Bashaya ngokoqobo empandeni yalokho okwenzekayo. Kunezikhathi lapho izintantathu ezinjalo zikhona khona isikhathi eside, kodwa ngokuvamile ngemva kokukhashelwa omunye wabangane bomshado, amanani abuye ahlaziywe, iphuzu lokuphenduka liyeza. Futhi akuvamile ukuthi emva kokudalulwa kwazo zonke amakhadi, lo muntu uhlala emndenini, njalo umndeni uhlakazeka. Ukuwa konxantathu yothando ngokuvamile kwenzeka kusukela ngesikhathi sokuthola iqiniso lokuphinga ngumfazi ovumelekile. Amacala ajwayelekile uma ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile kungadlulela iminyaka.
Kwenzeka ukuthi bonke abathathu bathule, bazi ukuthi kukhona khona unxantathu. Umzabalazo womuntu ungahlala iminyaka eminingi, eminingi. Kulolu cala, kuphela indoda ezoba umlutha kulo mzabalazo, kanti abesifazane ngeke bathathe ohlangothini oluwina noma olahlekile. Inxantathu yothando ingabhubhisa umuntu oyedwa kuphela kulowo oyedwa. Uma lokhu kubudlelwane nomuntu oshadile, nguye kuphela ongakwazi ukuthonya futhi anqume isimo - noma uqedele ubuhlobo ngokubambisana kathathu noma "umfutho" kuwo kancane kancane. Ungakhohlwa kanjani indoda yakho ethandekayo, uma ishadile?
Kunzima ukumisa ubuhlobo bese uzama ukukhohlwa indoda ethandekayo ethandekayo, uma lona wesifazane esontathu enjalo isikhathi eside. Futhi akuyona nje isixhumanisi kulabo abathandekayo, kodwa futhi nokuzihlonipha kwabesifazane, ngoba indoda kufanele 'yabelane' nomphikisi. Kodwa nokho uthathe isinyathelo esiyimpumelelo sokuphuma kwikhoyili, kuyakufaneleka. Kunezimiso eziningana lapho ubuhlobo besifazane onendoda eshadile kukhiwa. Uma unquma ukukhohlwa indoda oyithandayo futhi ngaphandle kwalokho, uma eshadile, kufanele ulandele ezinye izincomo.
Into yokuqala okufanele ikhokhwe - hhayi wonke owesifazane uyakwazi ukuthandana nomuntu oshadile. Khumbula okwedlule, hlaziya isimo sabazali bakho, ubuhlobo babo komunye nomunye. Mhlawumbe igama elithi "uthando" lukubangela ukuba ungabi nemizwa elula, kodwa uhlotshaniswa nento ethiza, iveza ubuhlungu. Ngakho-ke, uzama ukuthola indoda engakusiza ukuba uvelise isithombe sobuhlobo ebuntwaneni bakho ekhaya. Ngakho-ke, ufuna ngeso lengqondo umuntu "inkinga". Emikhuba kuyadingeka futhi kubalulekile ukuqeda. Kubalulekile ukuxazululwa nokubhekana nomthwalo wesikhathi esedlule. Khona-ke unethuba lokuyeka ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile. Uma kubazali bakho abadlulile abazange babe isibonelo sakho sokukhulisa imizwa emihle emndenini, futhi ubuhlobo babo budidekile, mhlawumbe kufanele uxhumane nochwepheshe wezengqondo ozokusiza ukuxazulula le nkinga.
Into elandelayo ukugcina engqondweni kwabesifazane abanquma ukukhohlwa indoda yabo ethandekayo, oshadile, umbuzo wokwandisa ukuzethemba kwabo. Bewazi ukuthi ubuhlobo nomuntu onendandatho esandleni sakhe sokunene kuyisici esinamandla kwabangabesifazane? Babengazi, kodwa bazizwa. Kwenzeka ukuthi ekuqaleni abesifazane abanoveli ezinjalo babe nokuzethemba okuphansi. Owesifazane uzizwa eyiziphukuphuku, embi, engafaneleki ukuba abe yinto efiselekayo kakhulu futhi eyingqayizivele kumuntu wakhethiweyo. Ngaphandle kokungakholelwa ekuvuseni, kuningi ukuhlakulelwa izinkinga eziqinisa kuphela ukungakholwa. Okusho ukuthi, isimo sihamba: owesifazane omncane uyakuthanda, uhlonipha, ngokuvamile ubenamadoda anenkinga.
Amadoda afana nokuziqhayisa ngenani labesifazane abakhohlisayo futhi angaba nomlingani nabesifazane abodwa noma ababili, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu, ngaleyo ndlela bakhiphe ukunganeliseki kwakho. Bavele banikeze isizathu sokugcizelela ngethuba elihle, njengoba bakusindise kusukela enesizungu ngombono wakho nesimo sengqondo esibucayi. Ngakho-ke, emva kokuhlobana okunjalo namadoda ashadile, abesifazane badinga uhlelo lonke lokuvuselela inhlonipho yabo kanye nothando lwabo ngokwabo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, qalisa ngokwenza uhlu lwezinhlobo ezimbili zabantu empilweni yakho - labo bantu obathandayo abangabangane, abathandekayo, abakuphatha ngenhliziyo yonke, nalabo abangabizwa ngokuthi ama-vampires angokomzwelo. Bondla amandla akho uma bekucasula futhi bakubonise ngokukhanya okubi, ujabulele isimo sakho sokudideka noma isimo esibucayi, uzama ukubukeka kangcono emlandweni wakho. Zama ukuhlunga ngokuqondile umbuthano wokuxhumana okokuqala (mhlawumbe inyanga noma ezimbili), uma usuqedile ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile - lokhu kuzokusiza ukuba ubuyisele ukuzethemba. Ukwesekwa kwakho okungokomoya nabangane abaseduze kuyoba ngabantu abavela ohlwini lokuqala. Nalabo obeka ohlwini lwaso lwesibili, yeka ukuxhumana nhlobo, ungawavumeli avele empilweni yakho.
Owesifazane, ukusebenzelana nendoda njalo kuyisivivinyo, futhi uma eshada, uvivinye kabili. Emanvelweni anjalo, ungathola kokubili injabulo nenjabulo, nobuhlungu obukhulu nokuhlupheka. Kubalulekile ukuyeka konke okufanayo ngesikhathi bese uthola amandla okuyeka ubudlelwane obunjalo, ngoba amathemba okuphela okujabulisayo kakhulu, amancane kakhulu.