Sonke sizizwa futhi siqonde ukuthi ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile ngeke kuholele kunoma yini. Ifomu elinjalo alivunyelwe yizinkolelo, ukuziphatha, noma abesifazane abadlulile ngalokhu. Kodwa, naphezu kwazo zonke izixwayiso, ubuhlobo nomuntu oshadile bukhona futhi buvame ngempela. Abesifazane abaningi kakhulu balwela izinhlobo ezinjalo zobudlelwane, baba yizisulu zabasebenzi besilisa, bawela ekuthembekeni kwengqondo kumuntu oshadile futhi baphule ukuphila kwabo. Isihloko esithi "Indlela yokuhlukanisa nendoda eshadile: iseluleko somqondo wezengqondo" kuzokusiza ukuba uqede lezi zibopho ezingenakubekezeleka, ezikubophe indoda-umndeni.
Kungani benza kanjalo? Kungani lezi zinsuku zikhona futhi zenzani, zibandakanya ukuthini nokuthi yiziphi izingozi zabo eziyinhloko? Abaningi bethu baqonda ukungathí sina kwalolu daba, kodwa akubona bonke abesifazane abakwazi ukuzithoba. Ungabelana kanjani nendoda eshadile? Kunezeluleko eziningana ezingokwengqondo ezokusiza ukuthi uqonde leli cala.
Okokuqala, ake sibheke izizathu zalesi simo. Kungani amadoda enza lokhu? Okokuqala, umuntu angase angajabuli emshadweni, abe nezinkinga ezinkulu nokuphikisana nomndeni wakhe nomfazi, kubandakanya. Kulesi simo, indoda ifuna induduzo ohlangothini, ukuxhumeka okwengeziwe okwanelisa izidingo zakhe, kuzomsiza ukuba abhekane nokucindezeleka. Futhi uma ukuxhumana nomkakhe kuphelela kuphela ekuphileni nasekuziphatheni, inkosikazi isengozini njalo, iholidini, isithelo esivinjelwe, ukunambitheka akufunayo ngempela ukuzama.
Kodwa akuzona njalo umuntu ongase alahlekelwe okuthile, noma angaba nezingxabano ezinkulu nobuhlobo obubi nomkakhe. Ngenxa yobuhlobo babo, abamele ubulili obuqinile isithembu, ngakho-ke indoda ingathola ikosikazi namanoveli ohlangothini ngisho nalapho ethanda umkakhe, futhi emndenini akanayo izinkinga. Udinga ubudlelwane bomshado futhi amthokozise, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ukhangwa ukuhlukahluka kobulili.
Kuzo zombili lezi zimo, indoda isebenza njengomuntu ophethe izinto, indoda esebenzisa inkosikazi ngezinhloso zayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyisithakazelo socansi, ukulangazelela okungaziwa, noma ukwaneliseka kwemfudumalo nokulahlekelwa okungafanelekile okumele akuthole emshadweni. Lesi esinye sezizathu ezibalulekile ukuthi kungani owesifazane kufanele ahlanganyele nendoda eshadile. Akekho ofuna ukuba yisisulu sokuxhashazwa, kodwa iningi aliqapheli ukuthi lisetshenziselwa izinhloso zabo.
Kungani abesifazane bethengwa ubuhlobo obunjalo? Akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Umphumela omuhle walobuhlobo ungahlinzeka kuphela uma owesifazane esebenzisa umuntu, ukuze athole ibhalansi yangaphakathi (noma impahla). Kukhona nesimo esinjalo lapho owesifazane engenalo inhlanhla namadoda, futhi ngokushesha noma kamuva wamphonsa, wahlukana. Kulesi simo, wathola indoda eshadile engashadile, engazange ifune, kepha ngezindleko zakhe yakwazi ukwandisa ukuzethemba kwayo, ukuze zifunde ukuziqhenya. Kodwa kulokhu, udinga ukuzibeka kuqala kanye nezidingo zakho kuqala, futhi wenze ngisho nendima yomuntu ophethe izinto, ongavunyelwe kakhulu. Ngisho noma udinga ukwesekwa kokuziphatha nangokwengqondo, kungcono ukuyifuna phakathi kwabahlobo noma amadoda asemasontweni ongathuthukisa ubuhlobo nabo kamuva.
Esinye isizathu esenza owesifazane aye nobuhlobo obunjalo kungaba ukuthi kunzima kuye ukuthola indoda ngomshado. Futhi ngenxa yobuhlobo nabesilisa abashadile, uhlangabezana nezidingo zakhe zokuxhumana kanye nothando, kunciphisa isizungu sakhe.
Okwesibili, abesifazane bangakhetha ubudlelwane obubophezelayo, ngoba ezingeni elingenakuqhathaniswa bazizwa bengakakulungeli ubuhlobo obunzima, futhi abakwazi ukwakha umndeni wabo. Abanye besaba ukuthatha umthwalo womunye umuntu, ngaphandle kwalokho, lesi sici asiyona nje kuphela abesifazane, kodwa nakubantu abaningi.
Kukhona futhi amacala lapho owesifazane ethandwa amadoda ashadile, futhi efuna ngokuphindaphindiwe, ulahlekelwa inzalo kubo. Ngakho-ke, sibona ukuthi ebuhlotsheni obunjalo bethandwa yinqubo ngokwayo, hhayi umphumela. Iheha umdlalo ngokwawo, wona kanye umgomo "wokufeza into yayo", futhi lapho uyenzayo, ithola umgomo omusha. Lapha kukhona isimiso sesithelo esivinjelwe: sifisa ukuthi yini engasitholakali kithi, kodwa uma sithole, silahlekelwa yinzuzo kuyo. Enhliziyweni yobuhlobo obunjalo obungalungile bungaba nesimo esifanayo sobudlelwane nabazali, umndeni ongenabuhlungu obungane bawo obungazange bube khona.
Kodwa futhi kwenzeka ukuthi ungathanda ngempela umuntu oshadile, enganeni futhi unganethemba kuye, ukholelwa ukuthi uzokushiya umkakhe ... Uma kunjalo, uzobe usuqeda noma kamuva umqedile: noma mina, noma umfazi. Eningi (iningi lamacala) indoda ikhetha umkakhe, ngaphezu kwalokho, usengakwazi ukukukhohlisa isikhathi eside. Uma esakukhetha, cabanga, usulungele ukubhubhisa inyunyana yomunye? Khumbula isisho esidala: awukwazi ukwakha injabulo emanzini omunye umuntu. Yebo, futhi isiqinisekiso sokuthi uma umuntu ephonsa umkakhe othandekayo, kodwa akenzanga nawe, cha.
Ungabe uhlanganyela kanjani nendoda eshadile, unqume ngalokhu? Iseluleko somqondo wezengqondo sizosho into eyodwa kuphela: kungokwesekuthembela kwengqondo. Akunzima ukwakha izwe lakho elizungezile umuntu oyedwa ... Dala izindlalelo namapaki azungezile, izibhamu nezinkanyezi, izakhiwo ezinhle eziholela kulo muntu kuphela. Ngempela, izwe esiyakhayo eduze nomuntu othandekayo lihle ngempela ... Kodwa iqiniso lokuthi le nyunyana ngeke ibe nokuqhubeka, futhi indoda ethandekayo ingeyomunye, yenza umhlaba ube buthakathaka, futhi ezakhiweni ezizungezile kunezinqwaba eziningi.
Ungavumeli ukukusebenzisa, ukukusebenzisa ngezinhloso ze-mercenary. Ukuze uhlanganyele nendoda eshadile, udinga ukuqeda ukuxhomeka kwengqondo nokuthola amandla okuthi cha chaza ku-manipulator, ne-whims yakho. Kusukela kulesi sinqumo kuxhomeke ekupheleleni kwakho esikhathini esizayo. Lesi yisinyathelo lapho kufanele uphume endleleni efanele, noma kunjalo omunye ungase ubonakale ubumnandi. Phela, ngenxa yokukhetha okulungile kuwe, ithuba livuleka ukuthola umuntu oyidinga ngempela, ukuvula amathuba namndeni amasha.