Kodwa uma umthanda ngempela indoda yakho, ungasebenzisa iseluleko sethu esiwusizo ngokuphambene nalokhu: kuyoba yindlela yokungazicasuli imizwa yendoda ethandekayo.
Indoda yakho ihlala ithembisa okuthile kuwe, kodwa ayiyikugcina izwi lakhe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, njalo, ukuthola izincazelo eziningi, ngezinye izikhathi ezingenangqondo ngokuphelele. Ngomunye wemibandela yakho enemibuzo, isibonelo "ingabe ungikhohlise?", Wenza ubuso obumangalisa futhi obuhlungu. Ngokuvamile, uyaqonda ukuthi uqamba amanga kuwe.
Ukuqamba amanga kuyinto ejwayelekile kakhulu cishe noma yimuphi umuntu. Ungasola njalo amanga. Kumele kucatshangelwe ukuthi inkulumo ethi "Angikholwa wena" ihlukumeza kakhulu into yalowo muntu. Phela, abukho ubufakazi bokuthi unecala, futhi akakwazi ukujwayela umqondo wokuthi akakholelwa kanjalo.
Iseluleko sokuqala sokuthi ungamcasula kanjani umuntu othandekayo ukuqala ukungabaza ubuqotho bakhe kuwe.
Iseluleko sesibili esisebenzayo singabangelwa ukungabi nobulili. Ngokuqondile, ubulili buyanyamalala ebusweni bakho obuseduze ngokuvumelana nesifiso sakho. Kumele uqaphele ukuthi ukucasula indoda yakho ethandekayo, ukumtshela ukuthi uphukile futhi ngeke kube nobulili namuhla - ukuzivocavoca okuncane.
Izazi zengqondo zixwayisa ukuthi akufanele uthwale icala lakho lokulala. Kodwa, uma unesiqiniseko sokuthi indoda yakho ifanele isimo sengqondo esabekayo kakhulu, khona-ke kungabi kubanda ekuthinteni kwakhe kanye nanoma yiziphi ezinye izenzo zesimo socansi. Futhi inkulumo ethi "ungangijabulisi futhi" inhle kakhulu ekubhebhethekiseni okungenalutho.
Wonke umuntu wazi ukuthi isikhathi eside ukuthi abangane kumuntu bangcwele. Uma uqala ukugxeka abangane bakhe, uhambisa ngokushesha wonke amazwi akho ku-akhawunti yakho. Futhi, kuleso simo, imicabango emibili iyanzima ekhanda lakhe: ukuvikela abangane bakhe noma ukusekela. Njengomthetho, amadoda akhetha ukhetho lokuqala. Phela, laba bangabangane bakhe, futhi bona, i-priori, ayikwazi ukubi.
Iseluleko sesine esingakusiza ukucasula indoda ethandekayo ukuphazamisa ikhono lakhe lokushayela imoto. Ngisho noma indoda yakho ingayazi imithetho yomgwaqo, kodwa ithola amalungelo wabantwana bakhe abaneminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalolunye - usazoqiniseka ukuthi uyinhlangano ebhizinisini lakhe (i-Schumacher, ngezwi). Ngakho-ke, ukucasula lo muntu othandekayo, meme ukuthi awuhlanganyeli umbono wakhe.
Amantombazane angama-hypochondriac kodwa izidalwa ezinhle. Kwabo imibono yabanye ibalulekile njalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi bayobamba kanjani umuntu osemusha emphakathini. Intombazane ihlala ilandela ukuziphatha komuntu othandekayo wayo: kanjani nokuthi uthini, ukuthi ugqoke kanjani nokuthi uziphatha kanjani. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi umfana angangeni emdakeni ngobuso bakhe (kodwa, ngokubona kwentombazane uqobo lwakhe) futhi akazange amenze ahlazeke phambi kwabantu abangabazi.
Amadoda athukuthele kakhulu uma eqondiswa njalo futhi ehlazeka ngokuziphatha kwabo.
Ungamcasula indoda yakho ethandekayo ngokumtshela izinto ezilandelayo: Angihlakaniphile kuwe; ungenza ngibe namahloni. Kodwa, madodakazi, khumbula ukuthi ngokushesha nje lapho imicabango enjalo ivela ekhanda lakho, ungasho ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho abuhlali isikhathi eside. Akungabazeki ukuthi indoda izofuna ukuxhumanisa isiphetho sayo nentombazane ehlala eyibheka njengokwehluleka.
Amantombazane ahlale enganaki amadoda abo. Njalo owesifazane ufuna ukuzizwa ethandwa, ngifuna ukuthatha isithandwa kanye nezipho. Kodwa, ngeshwa, amadoda ahlale efika emcabangweni wokuthi zonke lezizinto zothando ziyadingeka kakhulu ebuhlotsheni.
Abesifazane ngokuvamile abahlolisisi kahle umnikelo womuntu ebuhlotsheni. Iqiniso lokuthi wakulethele izimbali, isidlo esiphekiwe, wehla ibhizinisi lakhe ukukusiza - ngoba kungokwemvelo. Lo muntu ucabanga ukuthi ubekelelwe kuwe ngokuphelele. Futhi kucacile ukuthi emva kwezenzo zobuqhawe, ufuna ukuzwa udumo noma okungenani igama elilodwa elihle. Futhi yini ekupheleni? Uhlale ungajabuli futhi umtshele ukuthi awunaki kakhulu.
Uma ungafuni ukucasula abathandekayo bakho, khuthaza zonke izenzo ukuze uzizwe uzijabule. Khona-ke, wena ngokwakho ngeke uqaphele ukuthi uzozibonisa kanjani nakakhulu.
Esinye isici sokucasula umuntu othandekayo ukugxila njalo emaphutha akhe bese ephuthelwa. Amadoda, ngokwemvelo yawo, ayithandi ukwamukela amaphutha. Futhi uma bebanjwa kulo muntu oseduze kakhulu futhi othandekayo - intombazane ethandekayo - lokhu akujabulisi kabili.
Enye iphuzu: ukugxeka ukuthenga nokuphumelela komuntu othandekayo. Cabanga nje: indoda yakho yachitha inyanga igijima izungeze izimoto zokubonisa izimoto zifuna ihhashi layo lensimbi kuphela. Futhi-ke lelo hora lafika - wathenga imoto ukuze ayisebenzise. Injabulo nenjabulo kunzima kakhulu enhliziyweni yakhe. Amazwi akho okungaqiniseki kuphela angalimaza ubuhle bakhe. Ngokomuntu, ucabanga ukuthi le moto ayisebenzi, ukuthi ingathengwa kakhulu.
Ukuze sifinyelele imiphumela esihlokweni sethu: "iseluleko esiwusizo sokucasula indoda ethandekayo", kudingekile ukuthi siqaphele ukuthi ngamunye wethu unamaphuzu abuhlungu. Amadoda abantu abanayo, nemizwa yabo kanye nemizwelo yabo.
Ngaphambi kokusebenzisa iseluleko sethu, cabanga: uyayifuna? Ingabe kufanelekile ngenxa yento engenamuntu, ukucasula umuntu othandekayo kakhulu futhi uphonse ubuhlobo?