Wonke amantombazane aphupha ngesikhulu. Lona i-axiom. Kodwa abesifazane abaningana nabaningi baqonda le nkulumo ngokwezwi futhi balambile "isigamu sombuso ngaphezu kwalokho". Ngezinye izikhathi isifiso sokushada nomuntu ocebile sithatha ngokuphelele umphefumulo wesifazane. Futhi lapha akukona ukuthanda, ukuthandana nokuziphatha ...
I-Cinderella Syndrome
Ngokwe-Institute of Comprehensive Social Research (ICSI), abesifazane abangama-65% baseRussia bafuna ukushada nendoda ecebile. Lesi sici, njengokuthi "ukuvumelana", sibheke endaweni ehloniphekile yesithathu (ngemuva kwengqondo nomusa) ohlwini lwazo ezidingekayo kumuntu oshade naye. Abangu-40% bazo zonke izivakashi ezisesayithi elikhulu lokuphola laseRussia bayavuma ngokucacile ukuthi abafuni umngane, umthandi noma umyeni, okungukuthi umxhasi. Izingqikithi "Ngifuna ukuba owesifazane ogcinwe", "Indlela yokuba umfazi we-oligarch" zixoxwa ngenkuthalo emaqenjini abesifazane. Ithi, akunjalo?
Izazi zengqondo zibiza lokhu "i-Cinderella syndrome" futhi zinikeze la maantombazane ukuba azame ukuziqonda, izazi zezenhlalo zichaza lokhu kuvezwa ngokuphindaphindiwe kwezikhathi ezilambile emva kwe-perestroika, izidakamizwa zikhetha ukubheka yonke into ethintekayo eNtshonalanga, futhi izidalwa ezincane (futhi ezingenjalo) ziyaqhubeka zihlanganyela phakathi kwe-intanethi yazo amaphupho: "Ngifuna ngempela ukuhlangana naye - ocebile nodumo, kuphela ngaye ngizojabula."
Ukuzingela uMillionaire
Ngqume ngokuqinile ukuthatha konke okuvela ekuphileni, amantombazane asezingeni eliphezulu angena ekuqeqeshweni ukudukisa, izifundo kwi-psychology yama-oligarchs ngisho nokunikeza imali yabo ephansi "kubalingisi abakhethekile". U-Natalia M., ohlanganyela enhlanganweni yempilo yangasese yamantombazane ampofu, uzicabangela cishe umama kaTeresa wamanje. "Ngihlanganisa izinhliziyo zokuhlupheka." Abacebile - nabo bangabantu, besabe kakhulu ukwenza amaphutha, kodwa ngikhetha amantombazane aphansi. Ekugcineni wonke umuntu uthola lokho akufunayo. " Kumele ngithi, izinsizakalo ze-matchmaker ezikhethekile zizuzisa kakhulu - kusuka ku-$ 1000, ngakho-ke zisadingeka ziqoqwe.
"Ngifuna ukuhlala kufana ne-movie: iya ezindaweni zokudlela, uthenge izingubo ezibizayo, ugibele ezimotweni ezinhle. Mina ngokwami ngeke ngiwuthole. Umama wasebenza konke ukuphila kwakhe futhi akakwazanga ukugcina ngisho naseholidini eTurkey. Yingakho ngizolahla amathambo, kodwa ngizoshada ne-oligarch. Uyabona ukuthi imilenze yami ihle kangakanani? "Uthi uKarina, oneminyaka engu-18. "Kuthiwani ngothando?" Ngiyabuza. "Uhleka, yebo? Ngeke uthande ukuchuma? "
Ezinyathelweni ze "Ubuhle" ...
Okokuqala, u-Anya, abazali bakhe bakhuphula ngendlela efanayo nabo bonke amantombazane amahle ezweni lethu - ukudansa, isikole somculo, ulimi lwangaphandle. Kodwa ngelinye ilanga wabona i-movie ethi "U-Pretty Woman" futhi ... "Angikaze ngenze noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuzikhethela: manje, ngizoshada ngqo ngokubala, hhayi ngothando. Ngesikhathi ngisesikoleni, esikoleni sokuqala salesi sikhungo, angicabangi ngomshado, umshado, njll. - Ngahlangana nabafana, ngaba nobulili, kodwa "angikhululwa" njengoba besho manje. Khona-ke ngahlangana noVadim - wayengumuntu omnandi, ozwelayo, kodwa hhayi neze oshintshe ukuphila. Ngokufanayo, ngahlangana noMitya - wayesekhulile kakhulu kunami, hhayi njengomuntu othakazelisayo njengoVadim, kodwa evikelekile. Futhi wangicela ukuba ngishade masinyane. Wangitshela ukuthi: "Kumelwe ungishade nami, ngoba uVadim uyumuntu obuthakathaka futhi akakwazi ukukunikeza lokho okufanelwe khona."
UMitya wangibheka njengobumnandi futhi wayejabule kakhulu ukungiyisa emaphathini lapho abangane bakhe nozakwabo babekhona. Ngadingeka ukuba ngithule futhi ngimomotheka - futhi ngangithule futhi ngimomotheka, ngikhumbula ukuthi sithenge ingubo edayisa amabhizinisi abizayo ngokukhethekile kulobu busuku. "
U-Anna akazange azifihle ukuthi uMitya wayephumayo, ikakhulukazi ngoba umlingani wakhe ozayo wasimxwayisa: "Uma uvuma ukuba ngumkami, sizosayina isivumelwano somshado, futhi uma kwenzeka isehlukaniso, ngeke ushiywe ngaphandle kwe-penny." Ngokuka-Anna, uMitya wazama ngempela ukuba ngumuntu osondelene naye, kodwa ukuxhunywa kobulili okujulile phakathi kwabo akuzange kuvele. Nokho, akakhathazeki: "Ngokuvamile, njengoba izazi ze-psychologists zithi, i-libido icindezelwe, mina, ngaphandle kobuhlungu obukhulu noVadim, ngiphatha kahle lezi zimo. Esikhathini senzeniso kuthiwa ukuphinga kusho ukuhlukaniswa okusheshayo nokulahlekelwa kwempahla enkulu. Kodwa ngenxa yokuthi uMitya wayesendlini, kwacaca ngokushesha ukuthi lesi sivumelwano sasiyi-"side-side". Kodwa angithukuthelwanga ngalokhu: Angifuni ukuya noma kuphi. Nansi indlu yami, ingadi yami, ikhishi lami, ingane yami. "
Ingane yaba iphuzu elikhethekile kakhulu lenkontileka yomshado. Ngesikhathi uMitya ephikelela, kwacaciswa ngokucacile emtatsheni ukuthi ubaba uzothatha zonke izindleko zokugcinwa kukaKolya, kodwa ukuthi uma u-initiator wehlukaniso u-Anna noma imbangela yakhe bekuyobe kungukuthi uyamkhaphela, ingane izohlala noyise. "Ngokomthetho, umama uvame ukondla izingane ngesikhathi sesahlukaniso," u-Ana wachazela ummeli, "futhi uma kwenzeka kube khona ukungqubuzana phakathi kwenkontileka noMthetho woMndeni, lokhu kusetshenziswe." "Kodwa nganquma ukungenzi lutho," kusho u-Anna. - UMitya ungumuntu ocebile futhi onethonya, ukumangalela - ngokuqinisekile ukulahlekelwa futhi ashiye inkantolo ngokugxekwa kotshwala noma olunye udaba oluyingozi emphakathini. Cha, ngempela. Ngizokwenza konke ngokuvumelana nemithetho yakhe. "
Imishado emine nomngcwabo owodwa
Ngenye indlela, kodwa ekuphileni kwakho konke okufanele ukhokhe. Akuwona wonke ama-Cinderella angahlala esiteji isikhathi eside. Ngeshwa, indaba yezinganekwane "Ubuhle" inomunye ukuphela. Akuyona ingozi ukuthi ezweni lakithi kunezinye "abafazi base-Rublyov". Phela, ukuba ngumkami wezigidi kuwumsebenzi onzima. "Anginalo ilungelo lokubheka okubi, ukulimala, ukululama. U-Oleg nsuku zonke wangifaka esikalini futhi ngibheka ukubona ukuthi ngabe nginamafutha, kanti uma lo mshayeli wemoto wabonisa okungaphezu kwama-48 kg, kwakudingeka ngilale isonto lonke. Angikwazi ukukhetha izingubo zami noma abangane bami. Konke kwakufanele kuvunyelwe umyeni wami. Kodwa lokho akusikho lutho: Umngane ka-Oleg isibonelo, wamphoqa intombazane ukuba ibuyisele njalo ama-hymen. "Kupholile!" - wayekholelwa, "- wabelane futhi futhi ompofu, kodwa intombazane yamahhala yokukhanya.
Izigidigidi zineziqu zazo namasiko, futhi impilo "enhle" inehlangothi layo elihlukile. Kungase kwenzeke kakhulu ukuthi kuzodingeka ukukhokha ngothando, abangane, izingane ngisho nempilo (emva kwakho konke, akuwona wonke ama-oligarchs aholele ibhizinisi "lokugcina umthetho").
UNatasha wayengowesifazane wesine kaBoris, kodwa lokhu akuzange kumkhathaze. "Kwabonakala kimi ukuthi ngingaba umngane wakhe othembekile impilo yami yonke. Kwakungewona umshado ofanele, noma kunalokho, hhayi kuphela ngokuvumelana nokubala. Ekuqaleni, ngazizwa ngimzwele, kepha ngingazange ngithembeke njalo. Lapho nje ngishade naye, wayeka ukuzama ukungibamba, ngavele ngiyifenisha, ingxenye yendawo yangaphakathi, kodwa hhayi owesifazane. Akumangalisi ukuthi ngangihlangene nomfundisi wami wokubhukuda. Kwaphela izinyanga ezimbili ngangijabula ngempela. Nokho, yonke imfihlo iba sobala. Omunye walabo abashayeli wabika u-Bora, futhi mina, njengoba bekusho, ngimemeza ngekhanda endlini esicebile. Sasihlukanisile ngaleso sikhathi, futhi ngashiywe emgwaqweni ngengubo eyodwa. Into ebuhlungu kakhulu ukuthi uMax - umthandi wami - wayesekho. Angazi ukuthi kwenzekani kuye: akekho othi lutho, yonke iminyango manje ivaliwe kimi. " ... Omunye uzothi: uyothola icala, omunye uzozisola ... Enye indlela noma enye, kodwa indaba yeCinderella isengumlando wothando. Futhi uthando - umqondo wokuzwana nobudlelwane obuseduze, umuzwa wokubambisana kwangempela - ngeke ushintshwe ngokubalwa kwezimali, noma ukukhathazeka kobuqili. Ihlolwe futhi iqinisekiswe izizukulwane eziningi zabesifazane abajabula emshadweni. Buza okungenani umama wakho.
Ukuphawula kwengqondo
UDenis LUKYANOV, onguchwepheshe ezindabeni zomndeni nezomshado
Kuvame ukukholelwa ukuthi umuntu kufanele ashade noma ashade kuphela ngenxa yothando, futhi umshado wokuzikhethela i-priori kubhekwa njengokunye okuyihlazo nokungahambi kahle, njengoba kubhekwa ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokusho kohlelo lokuqala "ucansi ngemali". Nokho, lokhu akunjalo futhi akusi njalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Imishado ngokuvamile ibhekwa njengendlela ehlala isikhathi eside futhi ehlala njalo. Abantu benza isandla sabo emnyangweni wabo. Ngaphambili kwakunjalo
i-kalym ne-dowry, manje-ubuhle, imfundo, ukuxhumaneka, ikhono lokunikeza umndeni, ukunikeza umuzwa wokulondeka. Kodwa enye imbi. Isibonelo, omunye wama-heroines we-athikili, u-Anna, uyavuma ukuthi akahambanga nomyeni wakhe, noma nesifiso sokwakha umndeni wabo (hhayi umndeni!) Ukuphila. Esikhathini esizayo, ubuhlobo obunjalo bugcwele izinkinga ezingxenyeni zabesifazane kanye nokunganeliseki kokubili. Oshade naye angase aphule isikhathi esithile, ahambe "kuyo yonke into engathí sina", ekhokhela impilo ngaphandle kothando, ngaphandle kokuthokozisa ngokocansi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuthula kodwa okungekho ngaphansi kokudabukisa okungenzeka-ukucindezeleka, "i-cell cell syndrome," lapho owesifazane enezinto ezibonakalayo, kodwa impilo ibonakala ingenalutho kuye, ngoba ayikwazi ukwenza izinqumo ezizimele futhi ithathe izingozi.
I-Mercantile kule nothi.
Uma usalokhu ufisa ukushada nendoda ecebile futhi ucabange ukuthi umshado kuphela nomnumzane ocebile uyosiza ekuxazululeni zonke izinkinga, kufanele ...
1. Ukucabanga ukuthi, njengomthetho, okhokhayo, lokho futhi oyala umculo. Uma omunye wabalingani engenisa endlini kakhulu imali engaphezu kwesinye, khona-ke unesigxobo sokulawula ku-ZAO "Umndeni" kanye nokuvota okuqinelayo kukho konke. Ngakho ukhohlwe ukuthi uzochitha imali yakhe ngokuthanda kwakho.
2. Ukulungela ukuthi kufanele uqinisekise okhethiweyo wakho nsuku zonke ukuthi awuwunikanga ngenxa yobuningi bekhredithi yakho, kodwa (yebo) ngenxa yenhlanganisela eyingqayizivele yezimfanelo zamadoda aphezulu ongakwazi ukumelana nawo. Akudingeki ukuthi abantu abangu-100% abacebile, futhi ikakhulukazi abacebile bahlukunyezwa yilohlobo lokunciphisa ubunzima.
3. Ungamangali uma, ngenxa yokushayisana okuqhubekayo, umdlalo ongapheli, uzothola ukuthukuthela noma ukunganaki, ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa nokucindezeleka. Kukho konke okudingekayo ukukhokha - uma lokhu kungasho umqondo "ngokubala"? Kufanele ukhokhe ngezinzwa zakho.
4. Ungalili lapho umnotho wakho ekuphoqa ngokuzumayo, uyahamba noma (uNkulunkulu akavumelekile) uzofa. Ukuhlaselwa okunjalo kuyadingeka ukulungiselela kusengaphambili, ukuze ungahlali emkhombeni ophukile. Abameli bayaseluleka ukuba siphethe isivumelwano somshado (futhi siwafunde ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokusayina). Kubalulekile ukuhlanganyela ngokusakazwa kwesabelomali somndeni, ukuthola i-akhawunti yakho yasebhange, umugqa wesikweletu esihlukile futhi ugcwalise njalo "stash" yakho. Futhi uthintane nommeli hhayi kuphela impahla ehambayo nengenakususwa yomlingani wakho, kodwa futhi amafektri nemikhumbi yakhe (okungukuthi, amafemu kanye ne-firmochkas) ukuze kungenzeki ukuthi awuzange nje uhlale "ekhanda elilodwa" uma uhlukanisa, kodwa ngokungazelelwe uthola futhi izikweleti zezigidi zomuntu oshade naye.