Akekho ophikisana neqiniso lokuthi isigamu esihle somuntu sibucayi ngaphezu kobulili obuhlukile. Ukuzwela yisici esibaluleke kunazo zonke kwabesifazane. Ngenxa yokuthi sikwazi ukukhombisa imizwa yethu, imizwa engxenyeni enkulu ayisoze yaxoshwa, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, iyashukumiswa. Futhi kuthiwani uma isigamu sesibili singenayo izenzo ezithinta ukuveza imizwa yabesifazane? Ukuzama ukwabelana nakho kwakho nabathandekayo bakho, awutholi impendulo naye? Lokhu kungasitshela ngani?
Kunezizathu eziningana zokubanda komzwelo kwabantu.
Imfundo
Kusukela ebuntwaneni, ukukhulisa kudla indima ebaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni komuso kwanoma yimuphi umuntu. Ngokuqondene namadoda, kufanele kuqashelwe lapha ukuthi ukukhulelwa kungenza umfana omncane abe umuntu onesizotha, onesihawu, futhi owanele futhi onomuntu oqinile. Phela, izinkulumo ezinjengokuthi "ungakhali, ungumuntu" noma "ungafanani nentombazane" kudala umphumela okuthiwa u-reverse effect. Ukwenqaba ngokweqile ukubonakala sengathi i-rannimymokruzhayuschim, abafana, imizwelo nemizwa ngezinye izikhathi bayashintsha ubuhlungu nokubandayo.
Ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabazali abaphakathi
Inqubo yobuntwana ibeka isisekelo esiqinile kakhulu sokubuyiselwa ubuntu bomuntu. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, abazali abangazange babonise izibonakaliso zothando lomntanakho, futhi phakathi kwabo, ubudlelwane bakhelwe emndenini onjalo ngokubakhanya. Kulesi simo, kungacatshangwa ukuthi ingane, ekubeni umuntu omdala, izokopisha indlela abazali abaziphatha ngayo, ngoba omunye angasho ukuthi bamfundisa lokhu. Ngomuntu onjalo kuzodingeka ukuthi ubekezelele ukuthi ngeke uzwe amazwi othando nothando, lokhu akusho ukuthi akanayo imizwa, kungukuthi, akasetshenziselwa ukuzwakalisa kalula.
Izinto ezedlule ezidabukisayo
Lapha kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi uma umuntu, enkathini yeminyaka yobudala, engathandabuzwa uthando, ikakhulukazi uma ehambisana nokukhohlisa nokukhwabanisa, isizathu sokuthi esikhathini esizayo uzohambisana nemicabango enjengokuthi: "ezungeze inkohliso" futhi "ungathembi ngaphandle kwakho" . Mhlawumbe ekupheleni kwesikhathi, izenzakalo ezingathandeki kuzosusa ememori, futhi kuyoba nethuba lokukwakha ubudlelwano obuqinile nengxenye yesibili.
Umsuka wemvelaphi yomuntu
Kusukela ezikhathini zasendulo, lo muntu unikezwe imisebenzi eminingi, njengesibonelo, ukukhiqizwa kokudla, ukuzingela izilwane zasendle. Kumele futhi kuqaphele ukuthi isimo sengqondo somuntu ophumelelayo okumele siphumelele akufanele sibe sobutha futhi sizwela. Endulo emadodeni, ikhwalithi yombutho yayiyigugu kakhulu. Futhi lokhu kubonisa ukuba khona kwamandla, ukuqina, ukuqina okunamandla okuqinile.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi ososayensi baseCanada benza uphenyo ukuze banqume izingxenye zobuchopho obangela ingxenye yengqondo yokuziphatha. Ngakho-ke, kwavezwa ukuthi emadodeni, ngenxa yokuvela kwemizwa, kukhona ukuhlukaniswa okucacile kobuchopho. Futhi ngokuqondene nabesifazane, lapha, ngokuphambene nalokho, izingxenye ezibhekene nomzwelo zikhona kokubili ngakwesobunxele nasezindaweni ezifanele zobuchopho. Futhi lapha singaphetha ngokuthi le ndoda esebenza ngokomzimba ihlelwe ngokuhlukile. Ngakho-ke, umuntu akakwazi ukubuka inkinga efanayo nowesifazane ngokulinganayo. Masivele sithi amadoda acabange ngokuzwakalayo, kuyilapho abesifazane bengabonakali. Unganika isibonelo. Umkakhe ubuyela ekhaya, futhi uqala ukwabelana nakho okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe engxenyeni yesibili, futhi asebenzise iqiniso lokuthi le ndoda ilalele ngokuthula, inika yonke imizwelo. Kodwa le ndoda ayinasithakazelo emizimbeni nasemizwelo, kuleso simo ubonisa ngeso lengqondo ukuthi lokhu noma leyo nkinga ingavela kanjani, nokuthi yini okudingeka yenziwe ukuze uyigweme.
Noma kungenzeka yini ukuphetha ngokuthi lokhu kungabakhathaleli?
Eqinisweni, kunzima ukudweba imingcele phakathi kwemiqondo enjengokunganandaba nokubandisa ngokomzwelo. Konke ngoba cishe kufana nokubukeka. Ngokuvame kakhulu, abesifazane bazama ukuthethelela noma yisiphi isenzo sabantu abakhethiweyo esiqondisweni esifisa. Kodwa lokhu kuyiphutha.
Ukuze unikeze ukuhlolwa okuhloswe kwesigamu sayo sesibili, kubalulekile ukubheka lesi simo kusuka ohlangothini olungathathi hlangothi. Yebo, kubalulekile ukulahla izifiso zakho nemizwa yakho kumlingani wakho futhi ubheke izinto ezibucayi. Ukuhumusha okungcono komuntu kungatholakala ngokuhlola izenzo zakhe. Bheka futhi uphendule ngokwakho.