Abaningi bethu banezici ezingacasula abanye ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngokufanayo, insizwa yakho ngezinye izikhathi iphendukela kumuntu wamaphupho ibe yisithandwa esibi, ukuba intombazane oyithandayo wena nesitha.
Umngane wakho, ngokuphambene nalokho, akaqondi ukuthi yini okufanele ayenze uma umyeni wakhe evala ngaphakathi yena futhi ehlukumeza ngokoqobo njengomuntu ohlangene ukuze athole izizathu zokuhlukunyezwa okungalindelekile. Futhi lo dade uphumelela ngesikhathi lapho lo mthandekayo ekhetha ngokuzumayo ukuxoxa ngendlela aphinde ayenze ngayo emsebenzini, futhi ngamapende ukuchaza ukuthi kungathandeki kanjani ukuthi intombi yakhe ayinaso isikhathi sokugeza ihembe lakhe eliyintandokazi ekuxoxweni okubalulekile. Kubo bonke abaye bafunda kwelinye lamadoda abo abathembekile, siphakamisa ukuthi sifunde ukuthi bacabangani ngalezo zinhlobo zengqondo. Futhi, mhlawumbe, uqonde ukuthi ungayenza kanjani amaphutha ensizwa yakhe abe yizici zakhe ezingenakuphikwa.
Uhlobo oluthile
Uhlangana naye esikoleni esiphakeme. Wabuye wavikela umqondo wakhe we-Ph.D. futhi wayethanda kakhulu umphathi wakho wesayensi jikelele ukuze athole amaqiniso angavamile nemithombo yomsebenzi wakhe abambalwa abaqeqeshi abawubonile. Kungenzeka ukuthi lapho uqala ukukhulumisana kwakho wayenomdla kakhulu kuye, ngoba ekhanda laleli qembu lithwele ulwazi oluthakazelisayo kakhulu, futhi uhlala ekulungele ukuxoxa naye. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, waqala ukubona ukuthi umngane omusha waqala ukukufundisa hhayi kuphela ensimini yesayensi, kodwa futhi nendlela yokubopha isikhala futhi alungiselele i-minestrone. Kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuthi lokhu akumangazi. Umuntu ohamba ngezinyawo - futhi lokhu kubeletha - engakulungeli ukubuyela endleleni yakhe yokuziphatha, lokhu kuyinzuzo enkulu yezinhlobo eziyingozi kakhulu ezingokwengqondo zamadoda. Yingakho cishe wonke umuntu omzungezile amphatha ngokucasuka kancane: osebenza nabo, abangane, abangane bakhe futhi nakanjani abathengisi ezitolo.
Ukuhamba ngokweqile kuyisici sabantu abasha abafanele bakhule ekuseni. Lezi zinhlobo "kaMalume Fyodor", ababa ngabasizi bomama, bebadlala indima yabaduduzi nabacebisi. Bazizwa bewuthanda futhi bewusizo kuphela uma bekwazi ukunikeza "umuntu omdala", ukusekela okuhlakaniphile. Futhi manje bahlola isithombe somama wabo kusukela ebuntwaneni babo, okwakufanele baxazulule izinkinga zabo. Emdlalweni wengqondo "Chaser - uMsindisi - Umhlatshelo", abantu abathandekayo besilisa bazama njalo ukudlala indima yoMsindisi. Bafuna uMhlatshelo ngokungazi, okuzodinga isiqondiso sabo esihlakaniphile nokuthi bazoqala ukufundisa. Ngezinye izikhathi usizo olunjalo lubonakala lukhulu ngokweqile, futhi lushushisa, ikakhulu uma uMsindisi eqhubeka eqhubekayo "ekufundiseni" kwakhe. Kulokhu, ungesabi ukusho ukuthi "Yeka!". Ngiyabonga ngezeluleko zakho, uthi uyakwazisa umbono wakhe, kodwa uzokwenza isinqumo sokugcina ngokwakho. Kancane, angase akhubeke kancane, kodwa uma uziphatha ngokuqinile futhi ulandela isinqumo sakho, kancane kancane ubuhlobo bakho buzophuthuma.
Jabulela!
Izazi zengqondo zithi owesifazane olungele ukuthatha umthwalo wempilo yakhe emagxeni omunye futhi akafuni ukucabanga nokuziphatha ngokuzimela uyakwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile ne-bore bore, noma ezinye izinhlobo eziyingozi kakhulu ezingokwengqondo zamadoda. Kodwa-ke, uma ngesizathu esithile le ndoda idinga ukwesekwa, kanti intombazane ngeke ikwazi ukuyinikela yona, inyunyana yabo ingahlinzeka.
Ngiyakhala futhi ngikhala
Uma intandokazi yakho isikhathi esiyikhulu iqala ingoma yakhe oyintandokazi mayelana nokuthi akanalo inhlanhla nokuthi yikuphi ukuhlakanipha okuzungezile abantu abaqokile, mhlawumbe uzama ukumamukela, kepha ngaphakathi kwakho ucasuliwe ukuthi unomuntu ozwela kangaka. Lokhu akusho ukuthi akanamsebenzi ngokuphelele - ngokuphambene, angenza umsebenzi omkhulu, abe nempilo ehlelekile, futhi ulapha, enhle futhi enakekelayo, njalo naye. Kodwa kubonakala sengathi lo muntu nje ngokomzimba udinga ukuhlanganyela umbono wakhe omubi emhlabeni. Wena waya e-cafe, wayala i-cocktail, kodwa ayitholakali? Ulindele isigamu sehora ukukhononda ngokungabi nabulungisa emhlabeni, emva kokuphuza kwakho, ukuthi ufuna, futhi "onakho". Ngampheka i-omelet yokudla kwasekuseni, okwakungenaso isikhathi sokukususa epulazini? Kuzodingeka aqoqe isikhumba esomile sokupheka - isimo sengqondo sosuku lonke sichithwa.
Izazi zengqondo zithi ukuthi into enganelisekile ngabantu abanjalo kuyisenzo esivamile esingokwemvelo kwisisusa sangaphandle, esivela ebuntwaneni. Ingane yangaphakathi yalowo muntu ayikhala ngoba kukhona okwesabekile kuye, yena udinga ukuphumula ngokomzwelo.
Amadoda-whiners akhula, njengombuso, emndenini lapho ubaba engekho ngokomzimba noma ngokomqondo. Futhi umama ukhathalela kakhulu, ezama ukuvikela indodana yakhe ngangokunokwenzeka kuzo zonke izinkinga. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo kuyaphazamisa kakhulu futhi, mhlawumbe, ngisho nokuhawukela kancane kancane imizamo yendodana yokwenza okuthile eyedwa. Umama nendodana bafana nohlobo lwe-symbiosis, lapho ngokuzenzakalelayo izindima zisatshalaliswa ngale ndlela elandelayo: unamandla, ohlakaniphile, onakekelayo, futhi yena-owenza lokhu, uyayidinga. Ukukhula, indoda ifuna ubuhlobo obujwayele kuye kusukela ebuntwaneni.
Ngeshwa, i-whiner ayizange ikwazi ukukhula. Futhi angizange ngifunde ukuthatha umthwalo wempilo yami. Ukhalela, uhambela, njengengane encane, enxanela umama onakekelayo okufanele amsize ukuba abhekane nalokhu kuphila okunzima. Njengomthetho, ebuhlotsheni obunjalo indoda ethatha isikhundla seNgcwazana. Futhi njalo udinga uMsindisi. Intombazane engakulungele ukusekela futhi ibe mnandi womuntu othandekayo, ngaphandle kokubuza noma yini ngokubuyisela, cishe akunakwenzeka ukuhlala ne-whiner yesilisa isikhathi eside. Ngisho naye makamjabulise ngokuzwela kwakhe nangomzwelo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Kodwa uma kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uzithande kunokuba uzizwe uhlombe lomuntu onamandla eduze kwakho, khona-ke umbhangqwana wakho unomuso.
Ngeke ngithethelele!
Konke kuhle kakhulu kuwe, kuze kube khona into eyenzeka ngokuzumayo. Kodwa yikuphi lokhu "into" nokuthi kungani kumlimaza kangaka, kufanele uziqagele. Mhlawumbe kamuva, othandekayo uzokhuluma ngokuthi angenzi kanjani ukuze angamcasuli imizwa engcono kakhulu. Kodwa kuzokwenzeka kamuva, kodwa ngenkathi ungakapheli amahora ambalwa uzobona ubuso obungathandeki bomuntu wakho futhi uphendule yonke imibuzo impendulo eyodwa kuphela - "evamile." Futhi futhi ubhekene nokuntula ukuqonda ukuthi yini ekuziphatha kwakho engayithandi.
Ukuzihlukanisa ngokweqile esimweni sokuphikisana, ukungathandi ukukhuluma, nokubukeka okubuhlungu, cishe kubonisa ukuthi akanakunakekelwa okwanele. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kuziphatha kungaba ukuphathwa ngokuqaphela. Ukuthukwa komlingani wakho kubangela umuzwa wecala kuwe, futhi usulungele ukunikeza imfudumalo nje ukuze ubhekane nalesi simo esingathandeki. Izimbangela zokucasuka ngokweqile, njengezinye izinkinga eziningi, ebuntwaneni. Mhlawumbe abazali bavinjelwa ekubonakalweni kwemizwa futhi babengavamile ukudumisa indodana yabo encane, ngaso sonke isikhathi bekhetha ukungaboni ukuthi ngosizo lokuhlambalaza wayezama ukunaka. Futhi esikhundleni sokuzithanda nokwamukela ukuthi kuyini, kubaluleke kakhulu kumntanakho ukuthi uhlolwe kanjani ngabanye. Ukungatholi lokho akufunayo, uyasindisa ukudumazeka emhlabeni wonke, lapho impilo yabantu abadala imbonisa ngaso sonke isikhathi labo abangakwazi ukubanakekelwa ngokwanele nangothando.
Umfana omncane kumuntu omdala usekwesaba ukucela okuthile ngokusobala nokuzwa ukuhluleka kwakhe, kodwa ngokuzumayo uyalahlwa. Ngakho-ke, icala liba, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi liyinqaba, kodwa indlela yokuxhumana nezwe elizungezile nomlingani. Labo abavame ukucasuka bavame ukukholelwa ukuthi banconywa, futhi badinga ukuqinisekiswa okuqhubekayo kokubaluleka kwabo, ukudumisa. Umuntu onjalo uhlelwe ngaphambilini ukuze abe nesimo sengqondo esibi ngokuqondene naye. Ungakwazi ukuqala izimo lapho azozizwa enqatshelwe khona futhi engaqapheli, ethola kuloluhlobo lwezinjabulo zokuzibonela.
Esinye imbangela evamile yentukuthelo ingase ibe ukulindela okungafanelekile. Indoda yakho ilinde kuwe, isibonelo, izimemo zephathi noma ukuvakashela abangani, futhi, ungayitholi, nazo zonke izibuko zakhe zibonisa ukuhlambalaza kwendawo yonke. Ukholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi wena, njengabanye abaningi, kufanele uwazi izifiso zakhe.
Uma insizwa isithinta kakhulu, kufanele ube nesineke ekukhulumeni naye. Wamdumisa ngenxa yempumelelo yakhe nempumelelo yakhe, kodwa gwema ukufaniswa nabanye, ngoba wena omuhle kakhulu, futhi nguye kuphela! Zama ukuthola "igolide" phakathi phakathi kokubonga njalo nokugwema ukucasuka. Shintsha lo muntu kusuka ezinkingeni kuya ezicini ezinhle zokuphila. Mbonise ukuthi ukukhuluma ngezikhalazo kungase kungabi kubi kakhulu futhi kuyingozi! Futhi ungakhohlwa ngokukhulumisana nangemizwa yakho - ungazithetheleli futhi ucele uxolo njalo lapho ungazizwa unecala.