Namuhla, inamba enkulu yokuxhumana nomphakathi kanye nezindawo zokuthandana ezikhethekile, lapho ungavikeleka khona kuphela ukuxhumana nomxhumanisi we-virtual, kodwa ngisho nokudlala ngothando. Ngezinye izikhathi ukulingana okunjalo kungathuthuka ekubeni uthando lomshado nobuhlobo bobulili, kanti ngezinye izikhathi uhlale endaweni efanayo. Ngokudlala ngothando olunjalo, abesifazane kanye namadoda bahlanganyela ngokulinganayo. Kodwa uma umgomo weyokuqala ukuqonda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi uphinde uzibonise izinto eziyisisekelo zekhono lokuhola "umdlalo wothando" (ngisho noma yiqiniso), kungani amadoda adinga ukudlala ngothando?
Indoda nezwe elibonakalayo
Iningi labameleli bobulili obunamandla lapho bephendula lo mbuzo: "Kungani indoda idinga udlame lwangempela?" Phendula abangenalo ukuxhumana kwangempela. Abaningi balaba bantu abasoze bavumelane nobulili obungabophelanga ubungane empilweni yangempela, ukuthatha kancane kancane uthando lomshado. Ngendlela, ukulingana okunjalo kungabangela ukuthula ngokubambisana nomuntu oshadile. Lokhu, okokuqala, kungenxa yokuthi amadoda angacabangi leli fomu lokudlala ngothando, ngoba ungavele uvule ikhompyutha bese uzigcoba ezweni elibonakalayo, ukhohlwa zonke izinkinga nezinkinga. Kodwa naphezu kwezitatimende ezinjalo zabantu, izazi zengqondo zikhathazekile kakhulu ngalesi simo. Ngokusho kwabo, ukulingana ngokoqobo kungaba nhlobo esikhundleni sabameleli bobulili obunamandla, hhayi kuphela ukuxhumana okuphilayo, kodwa futhi nenjabulo yothando lomzimba. Ngakho-ke, ngokusho kwezibalo, okwenziwe eNtshonalanga Yurophu, kwaba yindlela yokuzibuza ukuthi amadoda angama-26% eneminyaka engaphansi kuka-30 ayethanda esikhundleni sokudlala ngothando kanye nokukhulumisana nentombazane (kubandakanya ukuxhumana kocansi), ukukhulumisana okubonakalayo nezinhlobo zokudlala ngothando futhi ngisho nobulili obubonakalayo. Futhi isimo e-US sibonakala sibi nakakhulu: ngokuvumelana nazo zonke izibalo ezifanayo, amadoda angu-65% akhetha i-cyberflirt ngokubuyisela okwamanje.
Yini eyenza amadoda abe nomdlalo wokudlala ngothando?
Ngokuvamile, amadoda alindele ukuthi ukudlala ngothando kuzobalethela imizwa emisha, imizwa ethokozisayo. Kwabesilisa abaningi, ukulingana okunjalo kunenzuzo kulokho, empeleni, abazinikeli kunoma yini futhi ngokuqinisekile akudingi ukuqhubeka nokuphoqeleka kobudlelwano. Indoda iyazikhulula ezijwayelekile futhi zikhwabanise, zizame indima entsha "yokudukisa kusukela esikrinini sokuqapha."
Ngendlela, ngokuvumelana nazo zonke izazi zengqondo, ukulingana ngokoqobo ngothando ngothando. Indoda, engazi "empilweni yangempela" umlingani wayo, ibeka imibono yakhe kanye nokulindela kwakhe, okusho ukuthi, ngokubona kwakhe, kufanele inikezwe owesifazane wangempela. Ngendlela, yilokho indlela owesifazane engayitholi ngayo umuntu empilweni yangempela, ngakho-ke isiphetho sokuthi abameleli bobulili obuqinile bahlale behlekisa into yabo "yokukhwabanisa". Umuntu onjalo odlala ngothando, njengomthetho, uzama ukuqinisa isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka, ezibonisa yena kuyo yonke inkazimulo yakhe nesithombe somculi wangempela. Le ndoda ikhetha i-interlocutor "ngezintshisekelo", iminyaka efanele, ukubukeka, njll. Ngenkosikazi enjalo, uyazibonakalisa ukuthi angakwazi ukufeza umgomo ngisho noma icebo lakhe lihluleka, le ndoda ayigodli lapho, ngoba ufuna ukuzibonakalisa ukuthi noma yimuphi intombazane ingaba nesithakazelo kuye. Nasi esinye isiphetho esengeziwe - inzalo nesifiso.
Futhi into yokugcina, indoda ilula kakhulu ukuxhumana nowesifazane engazi "empilweni yangempela," onomfazi onjalo akakwazi ukudlala ngothando nje kuphela, kodwa futhi axoxe ngezihloko ezinzima futhi abelane ngezinkinga. Kunzima indoda ukutshela ukuthi ihlushwa ngokubheka emehlweni owesifazane ojwayele, kodwa ukuxhumana nge-Internet kungenye. Ngakho-ke ngezinye izikhathi ukudlala ngothando kungavamile ukuba umsunguli weqiniso lokuthi indoda ifuna ukumbeka owesifazane, nje ukuthululela umphefumulo wakhe kuye. Kodwa asisakukululeka ukuba nethemba lokuqhubeka kwenanethi enjalo.