Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi amadoda nabesifazane babukeka emhlabeni ngokuhlukile ngemva komshado. Kwabesifazane, isithombe siyashintsha njalo, kuyilapho amadoda ehlala ngaphakathi kwehlaka elilodwa. Yingakho, emva komshado, lo mbhangqwana uvame ukuqala ukuhluka emibono yabo empilweni yomndeni. Okokuqala, lapho uphendula umbuzo: "Kungani abashade beshintsha isimo sabo sengqondo kumngane womshado emva kwemishado? ", Ngifuna ukuqaphela ukuthi intombazane ngokwazo yamukela ukunikezwa kwesandla nenhliziyo ngokungavumelani njengesiqinisekiso sothando oluphakade kanye nesisombululo sezinkinga zomuntu siqu. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, oshade naye uqala ukuqonda ukuthi wenze iphutha ngoba esanda ushada noma eshadile, noma engahambisani nezilindele. Kodwa umshado uyindlela evamile lapho abantu beshada, bebeletha izingane futhi bahlala ngokuthula nokuvumelana. Kodwa, ngeshwa, emva kokushada, akuwona wonke umuntu ongahlala ehlala njalo futhi ehlala njalo, ehlala isikhathi esithile emshadweni osemthethweni, abantu abakwazi ukuqonda ngokucacile imisebenzi yabo nokuthi yini abayifunayo ekuphileni. Futhi nakakhulu nakakhulu, lapho owesifazane ebona iphutha lakhe ngokuqondene nomlingani wakhe, ngamanye amazwi, udumazekile ekukhethweni kwakhe. Yiqiniso, uma kwenzeka ubudlelwane bomshado bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bomunye nomunye bethandana naye, ngemva kokushada, kuneendlela ezimbili: isihlukaniso esibuhlungu, umthandani ohlangothini, ukuphila okuthakazelisayo nomlingani ongenakutjhaphulukileko, namkha ukufumana ukuvumelana okuzokusiza ukubeka konke endaweni yayo.
Ukuze oshade naye angashintshi isimo sakhe sengqondo kumngane wakhe, kubalulekile ukuqonda imithetho eqondile ukuthi umbhangqwana ngamunye kufanele ulandele ngemuva komshado. Ngokuvamile, abaningi abashadile baveza umbono wabo wokuthi ngisho nangemva komshado, "akekho obophekile kunoma ubani". Futhi lo mbono owonaka kakhulu kunoma yimuphi umndeni. Uma omunye womlingani ephila ngesimiso saso, ngokuqinisekile kungenzeka ukushintsha isimo sabo sengqondo kubathandekayo ngendlela engafanele ngokuphelele. Phela, ukugxeka akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphila komndeni. Ngakho-ke, ngokuphathelene nalomzwelo womngane wakho womshado, awufuni wena ngokwakho, shintsha umbono wakho ngalokhu ngokungaqondi futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, hhayi okungcono. Lapha kanye nomuzwa wokudumazeka kukhethiwe akude. Ngakho-ke, ukuze lokhu kungenzeki, ngaso sonke isikhathi zama ukuphatha ukwelashwa kwakho ngomqondo wokuhlonipha, umsebenzi, ukupha nokubekezela, futhi uma amaphutha eqala ukuvela kuye, khumbula ukuthi ukubekezela nokubekezela kwakho kuzoba "peretrut".
Uma kwenzeka owesifazane eshintsha umbono wakhe wendoda ngokumshada, kufanele aziqonde yena futhi athole ukuthi yini ngempela elindele kulo muntu. Emva kwalokho, oshade naye kudingeka aqonde ukuthi kungenzeki ngaleyo ndoda, kodwa nje ngokushintsha okwenziwayo ukubandakanya. Phela, lo mshado ushintsha kakhulu. Owesifazane kunzima ukuthola lokhu futhi ngakho ucabanga ukuthi kumngane wakhe. Bheka nje izintombi zakho ezingashadile futhi ucabange ukuthi zithandwa kanjani ekuqedeni kwakho.
Ungalokothi ulalele izimpikiswano zabazali bakho mayelana nokuthi wenze iphutha, khumbula ukuthi bangasebenzisa kalula imibono yakho. Ngendlela, ezimweni eziningi kusemithanjeni yokuthi intombazane ingashintsha kakhulu umbono wakhe ngomyeni wayo, okungaholela ngisho nasesehlukanisweni. Ngelinye igama, "phila ikhanda lakho".
Esinye isizathu sokuba umfazi ashintshe ingqondo yakhe ngomlingani wakhe kungenzeka ukuthi uqala ukumbuka ngamehlo ahlukene ngokuphelele ngemva komshado. Isibonelo, awukaze uqaphele izinto ezilula ukuthi, emva kokunyathelisa epasipoti, ziye zaba yiqiniso langempela. Uqala ukucasuka ukuthi izinto kanye namaphepha avela etafuleni lakhe noma i-wardrobe ngokuthutha athuthela ehholo etafuleni lokuhlobisa, futhi endaweni yakhe embhedeni inja ethandekayo ilele (engayitsheli ngisho naye), futhi njalo ekuseni i-chaotic iyagijima ijikeleze indlu kwelinye ngaphansi kwesinye) ekufuneni "amasokisi" asanda kuhlakazeka. Futhi, okuyinto enomsindo kakhulu, ihlale ikubuza ukuthi ushiye kuphi isikhwama sakho se-laptop. Kunokuba ungenaso esinye isizathu sokushintsha umbono wakho mayelana nomthandekayo wakho. Ngingathini, wonke amadoda anjalo. Futhi kufanelekile ukucabangela. Akuyona iqiniso lokuthi elinye ngeke lifanayo. Ngakho wamukele nje njengoba kunjalo futhi ungathukutheli ngenxa yokuphazamiseka. Ngendlela, uma ukhathele izindaba zakhe ezinde mayelana nomsebenzi noma abangane ngaphandle kwalokho, zama nje ukwenza izinto zakho ngaphandle kokumnaka, noma ukusikisela isihloko sakho ukuze uphumule isimo.
Ngakho-ke, akuwona umshado wabashadile abaguquka, kodwa abashade nabo ngokwabo bashintsha impilo yabo emva kwayo. Ungakhathazeki ngokushiyeka kwayo futhi, ngisho nangaphezulu, lalela imibono nezeluleko zabanye. Khumbula ukuthi akuholeli ekuhle. Kodwa, uma usushintshile umbono wakho mayelana nomthandekayo wakho, ungakwazi ukuyibuyisela emuva. Mane ukhumbule lezo "pluses" owake waba nazo, ngisho nangaphambi kokuba umshado uthandane futhi ngokuqinisekile kuzokuletha izinkumbulo zothando, futhi usize ukubheka umfazi ngamanye amehlo. Khumbula ukuthi emva komshado, impilo iqala ukuhlukaniswa yaba yizizwe ezimbili: ngaphakathi kwendlu yakho nangaphandle kwezindonga zayo. Ngakho zama ukuhlala nje endlini yakho ngokuvumelana nokuqonda.
Ngendlela, ochwepheshe batusa ukuthi uma ubheka umyeni wakho futhi uqonda ukuthi kukhona okushiwo kuye, cabanga ngomntwana. Khona-ke ngokuqinisekile umqondo wokuthumela umlingani hhayi wonke amaqembu amane uzoyeka ukuvakashela ikhanda lakho. Futhi ungaqala ngokuphepha impilo yakho kusukela ekuqaleni. Khumbula ukuthi akufanele neze wenze iziphetho eziphuthumayo. Phela, injabulo ayithandi labo abasheshayo futhi abakwazi lokho abanakho. Cabanga ngakho. Inhlanhla futhi akukho ukudumazeka empilweni yakho siqu!