Lokho amadoda akujabulela kowesifazane: izimfanelo ezingu-4 ongazi

Ekufuneni impendulo yombuzo mayelana nokuthi yini amadoda ayigugu kakhulu kubesifazane, siqondiswa yilogi yethu yesifazane, ngoba asinalo elinye. Ngakho-ke inqwaba yeseluleko esifanayo, esekelwe emibhalweni eyakhiwe, okuthiwa inika amadoda anjalo njengoMerlin Monroe, ehlanganisa izimfanelo zendlovukazi engenakuhlala engenaso ikhanda, ikhono lokuhlala liyingonyama enhle futhi enhle, i-lioness engenakuqhathaniswa nokuzidela. Kodwa ingabe ngempela amadoda abheka lezo zimfanelo ukubaluleka okubaluleke kakhulu kwabesifazane?

Ungathola iqiniso kuphela ngendlela eyodwa - ukulalela amadoda ngokwabo. Kuyiqiniso, ngenxa yobungcweti besilingo, ngeke kudingeke ukuthi baxoxwe, kodwa ukuze bafunde. Lokhu, nakuba kungenakuziphatha kahle, kodwa izimpendulo zamadoda ngezimfanelo zesifazane ezibaluleke kakhulu zizobe zithembekile ngangokunokwenzeka. Ukuqinisekisa noma ukuphika izintandokazi zamadoda esizozibuza izazi zengqondo. Bayazi kahle ukuthi yini amadoda ayifunayo nokuthi yini okufanele ayenze ukuze njalo ihlale ibaluleke kakhulu kubo. Ngakho-ke, masihlukanise nezimfanelo ezine zezinsikazi, amadoda okucwaninga abize ngokuthi ayigugu kakhulu, futhi awucabangi noma awusola ngisho nokuthi:

  1. Ikhono lomfazi ukuvumela indoda ukuba ihlale yedwa Indoda izimisele ukuthethelela owesifazane ukubonakala okungaphelele noma ukungabi namakhono amakhono okucubungula, kodwa akasoze ayakwazisa isifiso sakhe esihle sokufakela kuye, njengoba ebonakala, inguqulo entsha, eyathuthukiswa yindoda ekahle. Ukuzama ukuguqula umuntu, "ukuvuselela kabusha" umlingiswa wakhe, ukwenqabela ukuba abe yindlela enhle yokuchitha ubudlelwane. Indoda ifuna ukwazi ukuthi uyathandwa ngendlela eyiyo, futhi angeke ayenze, agqoke imaski futhi adlale indima.
  2. Ikhono lokuvuma nokuthola ukuyekethisa Isifiso sokuhlala ngaso sonke isikhathi singenzi owesifazane emehlweni omuntu ohlakaniphile. Yiqiniso, iqiniso lizalwa emibambiswaneni, kodwa, ngokuqhubekayo libonisa ukuthi lilungile, owesifazane uqala ukwenza njengento ebusayo ebuhlotsheni futhi uthatha indima yomholi. Abanamandla, abazethembayo bawazisa kakhulu ukuhlakanipha kwabesifazane, ikhono lokuvuma futhi linikeze ukuyeka. Futhi lena ingenye yamakhadi wamacilongo abalulekile, evumela, ngaphandle kokugxila eyedwa, namanje ukuwina.

  1. Amandla okudumisa ngobuqotho nokubonga. Amadoda njengabantwana, uma bebonga kakhulu, bakhuthaza futhi bakhuthaza, uma bezama kakhulu ukufanisa isithombe esidalwe kanye nethemba elinikeziwe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukugxeka njalo, ukunganeliseki noma ukusola, kubangela ukuhlubuka nomoya wokuphikisa ezingqondweni zabantu. Amadoda ayakwazisa abesifazane abakwazi ukuwazisa futhi bayakwazi ukubakhuthaza ukuba benze ngokudumisa nokubonga okuqotho.
  2. Amandla okujabula. Amadoda amaningi akhononda ukuthi abesifazane bafuna ukuthola umuntu oyobenza bajabule, bakhulise ukucindezeleka noma baxazulule izinkinga zezezimali. Abesifazane abanjalo bangaba nesihe, balalele, basekelwa, kodwa amadoda athandana nabesifazane abajabulayo abakwazi ukujabula, baphathe izinto ezinhle futhi bavumelane nezwe elibazungezile. Bayajabula futhi bathandana nokuphila kwabo, abesifazane besilisa babesele bebalulekile kubo.

I-logic yabantu: kungani amadoda ewazisa abesifazane?

Amadoda asondela konke kusuka endaweni yokubuka enengqondo, esebenzisa ukubala kanye ne-pragmatism. Ngisho noma uthando! Futhi bahlolisisa abesifazane ngendlela efanele ngokwembalo, nakuba bengacacisi njalo ngalokhu. Owesifazane owesilisa unenani elikhulu uma:
  1. Ibeka izinsiza zayo kuyo. Lapho umuntu efaka kakhulu impahla yamantombazane, amandla angqondo, amandla, isikhathi nengqondo, kuyigugu kakhulu emehlweni akhe. Futhi kanjani! Unika okuningi futhi uzinikela "emisebenzini" yakhe, futhi uyazisa kakhulu lezi zindleko. Kunzima ukungawuthandi umsebenzi wakho onzima. Lokho uthando oluthile lobugovu nolunokuhlakanipha oluhlelwe ngokuhlakanipha. Iseluleko sengqondo:
    • Ungalokothi ulahle izipho futhi ungavumeli umuntu agcine kuye.
    • Vumela ukuzinakekela kuzo zonke izinto ezincane futhi ukhuthaze isinyathelo somuntu ukukusiza.
    • Khuthaza le ndoda ukuthi ichithe isikhathi kuwe futhi ngezinye izikhathi yenza ukuba ulinde.

  1. Bona ukuqinisekisa. Amadoda athola futhi azihlanganise nezinto ezibavumela ukuba bazizwe bekhululekile nabo, ngokuqiniseka nangokubikezela. Ngalokhu, owesifazane kubo ngandlela-thile "into" abafuna ukuthola ikusasa elizinzile nelinembile. Owesifazane uyithuba lokudala ukuthembela komuntu kuye ngokwakhe naphezu kokunethezeka okungokomoya nangokwenyama angamnika yona. Iseluleko sengqondo:
    • Bonisa lo muntu izinzuzo azothola uma evumelana nomqondo wakho noma isiphakamiso.
    • Yabelana ngezintshisekelo zakhe futhi ube ngu-interlocutor, u-co-author noma umhlanganyeli ezintweni azithandayo.
    • Ungalokothi ubuze umyeni wakho, ungagxeki futhi ungabeki ama-ultimatums!
  1. Ithola impendulo engokomzwelo eminingi. Ngomunye owesifazane ozama konke okusemandleni ukujabulisa umuntu, ukuthula ngombono nokulwa nakho konke okuvumelanayo, kulula kakhulu, kodwa ukulimaza okubulalayo. Owesifazane onjalo ngeke ahlonishwe. Indoda iyakwazisa lowo owazi ukunikeza imizwelo, iphoqa ukuba ikhule futhi iwele, ingenasisekelo, uma kunesidingo, kodwa ihlala ibalulekile futhi ihlakaniphile ezindabeni ezibalulekile. Ngamanye amazwi, owesifazane ufuna ukuzwa yonke imizwelo, ngoba "izinkanyezi zibonakala kangcono esibhakabhakeni esibumnyama". Iseluleko sengqondo:
    • Vumela okuthile okwakunjalo ngaphambili futhi wenqabe into ehlale ikhona ngokukhululekile.
    • Ngimangale, sicela, intukuthelo, intukuthelo futhi uvumele wena nomuntu imizwelo eyenza ubuhlobo buphile futhi bukhanyise.
    • Yiba nomqondo ongenakuqhathaniswa, ukufunwa, ukuphikisana, ukuphikisana, kodwa ukwenze ngothando futhi njalo ushiye igumbi lokungathembeki.

  1. Ngesaba ukulahlekelwa. Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa kuqhutshwa ukuguquguquka kobuhlobo. Futhi ngezinga elikhulu likhuluma ngabantu, ngoba imvelo yabo yokuzingela iqondisa izinkanyezi ukufeza, ukunqoba, ukunqoba. Futhi uma owesifazane wesitokisi efika kalula futhi engenakubunzima kakhulu, akukho lutho okufanele aluqonde. Indoda isondliwa ukufinyeleleka futhi ayesabi ukulahlekelwa, okuyinto njalo ebikezelayo futhi obsessive cloy. Iseluleko sengqondo:
    • Ungabandakanyi amanye amadoda kusuka empilweni yakho. Lapho usondelene kakhulu nesithakazelo somuntu, ophakeme unomthandi wakho.
    • Ngezinye izikhathi zivumeleke ukweqa izingcingo zomuntu wakho, ungazinaki ama-sms, ngezinye izikhathi ungangeni endaweni yokufinyelela, noma ngabe usuwedlule iminyaka eyikhulu.
    • Thokozisa izifiso nezenzo zomuntu, zihloniphe izenzo ezifanele zabanye abantu, ukuze indoda yakho ibe nokuthile okumele ulwele.