Yini ongayisho ngalokhu, okuthiwa i-vice, akekho omzimba omzimba. Kungenxa yothando olunjalo olungathandeki noma ukuzwelana okuhlangene okungezona amantombazane kuphela kodwa nabafana bangahlupheka. Ngendlela, mayelana namadoda. Ngokuphathelene nabo futhi kuzoxoxwa ngakho esihlokweni sethu samanje. Ngemuva kwalokho, njengoba akuyona into emangalisa, ubulili besilisa kunoma yibuphi ubudala bunzima futhi okuhlangenwe nakho kuleso simo akufani neze nobulili besifazane. Ngakho-ke, abazali babafana, ikakhulukazi omama, banenkinga enkulu kule nkathi yokuphila kwengane yakhe. Ukuze ngandlela-thile nciphise isikhathi sokuhlupheka kwendodana yakho ngenxa yemicabango yakhe "engenalutho," sanquma ngokuzwakalayo ukubuza umbuzo othi: "Ngingamsiza kanjani indodana yami ukuba ilahle ukuhlupheka kothando olungathandeki? ".
Ukusekelwa okungabonakali
Ngakho-ke, indodana yakho ihlushwa imizwa yokuthandana kwentombazane futhi, ngokufanele, wena, ukubheka kuye, uhlupheka naye, kuzo zonke izinzwa zegama. Phela, uyigazi lakho siqu, futhi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kungokwakho futhi. Ngakho-ke, ungabasiza kanjani indodana yakho ukuqeda ukuhlupheka okungenakuthandwa? Okokuqala, njengomama, kufanele uzame ukukhuluma nendodana yakho bese uzama ukuthola ukuthi "ukhonjiswe" kangakanani othandweni lwakhe nokuthi yikuphi ukuphuma kwakhe ozibheka kulokhu. Ukunikeza iseluleko ngesikhathi esifanele, kunjalo, kuhle, kodwa lapha ukungena enkingeni bese uqonda ukuthi yikuphi - okunye okunye. Khumbula ukuthi ukushiya indodana yakho yedwa ngothando lwakho olungenakutshelwanga akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma. Kodwa futhi ukuphoqa iseluleko sakhe kuye, uhlelo: "Uzothola ukuthi ungcono ..." noma "Kwakungekho umkhawulo owodwa kulo ..." akuyona into enhle. Zama ukungena esimweni bese uqonda ukuthi le ntombazane ibiza kangakanani indodana yakho. Ngokungena ekuthembekeni kwakhe, ungathatha lesi simo ngezandla zakho uphinde ulawule inkambo yayo yesikhathi esizayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyoba lula kuwe ukuba ube ngowomama wakho onothando nonakekelayo kuphela, kodwa futhi nomngane, okubalulekile kuye ngalesi sikhathi. Ngandlela-thile, izingane ezibona abazali bazo hhayi nje ngabantu abazinikela impilo, kodwa futhi futhi njengabangane, kulula kakhulu ukudlulisa izinkinga zabo futhi ziqhubeke nengxoxo engagwegwesi. Okokuqala, lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ingane enjalo kuyo yonke into icabanga ngenkulumo efanele. Futhi okwesibili, uzohlale uqaphela yonke impumelelo yakhe nokuhluleka kwakhe ekuphileni. Yiqiniso, akuyona imfihlo kunoma ubani ukuthi abafana banqika kakhulu ukuxhumana nabazali babo, kodwa, noma kunjalo, kukhona njalo okuhlukile. Ngendlela, umbono wokuthi umngane omuhle wendodana nguyise, akusilo njalo ukuthi ukhona. Umama angadlala indima ebalulekile empilweni yengane. Futhi, ngaphezu kwakho konke, ngubani, uma kungengowesifazane, uzokwazi ukungena phakathi komunye noma enye inkinga yendodana yakhe futhi amsize aqede ukwesaba noma izinkinga zakhe.
Ngakho-ke, uma indodana yakho ikubona njengomngane kusukela ebuntwaneni, kuyoba lula kakhulu ukuba ube nale ngxoxo naye. Kodwa uma umfana wakho engaboni ukuthi kuyadingeka ukwabelana ngezinkinga zakhe nawe, kufanele uzame konke okusemandleni ukuze umthole umusa futhi umbonise ukuthi awusiye nje unina, kodwa futhi umeluleki oyinhloko empilweni.
Ngakho-ke, kuzo zonke izindlela, zama ukuxoxa nengane yakho esihlokweni esithakazelisayo. Zama ukuthola ukuthi iyiphi intombazane eye yaqina kakhulu emphefumulweni wendodana yakho, futhi ngasiphi isigaba okwamanje ukuhlobana kwabo noma ukuxhumana kwabo ngokujwayelekile.
Amaqhinga "okuhlasela"
Uma wazi le ntombazane noma unethuba lokukhuluma naye, qiniseka ukuthi uyayenza. Zama ukuthola iphuzu lakhe lokubuka nokubukeka kulokhu. Uma kuvela ukuthi le ntombazane ihluke ngokuphelele kumfana, mcele ukuthi asize indodana yakhe ngokukhuluma naye futhi ebeka wonke amaphuzu "I". Lokhu kuzosiza ukubhubhisa izinkolelo zakhe ezingacabangi futhi nethemba ukuthi uyamthanda. Into eyinhloko ukuthi akufanele ukwesaba ukungenela phakathi kwesikhathi, ngoba ngenxa yokuthula yengane yakho zonke izindlela zilungile. Uma intombazane ihlakaniphile futhi ihlakaniphile, ngokuqinisekile iyofaka isikhundla sakho futhi ihlangane nawe. Yiqiniso, into esemqoka lapha ukuthi indodana yakho ayiyazi ngxoxo yakho naye. Kodwa uma le ntombazane ihlelekile noma ungenawo ithuba lokuxhumana naye, yize uzama ukuchaza ngendlela efanele futhi engabonakali umbono wakho wale nkinga. Kuphela ukuchazela indodana mayelana nemizwa yakhe ehlukile kuyadingeka ukuze ngesikhathi sokuxoxa kwakho ungamcindezela ngokungacabangi ukuba acabangisise futhi aqaphele konke okusemandleni akho okungaqondakali. Khumbula, ukusiza ingane okwamanje, udinga ukumcindezela ngokungaqondakali ukuba aqaphele ukuthi kulokhu "ukuphila kwentombazane akupheli," futhi ungamemeza ngokuzwakalayo. Indodana kumele iqaphele futhi ikwazi "ukuzwa ngaphakathi kuye" le mizwa. Khona-ke angabuyela ekuphileni okuvamile. Futhi umsebenzi wakho umane nje umcindezele kuye.
Ezokuzungezile
Ngaphezu kwalokho, zama ukusindisa ingane yakho ekuhluphekeni, yenzele yonke le mibandela eyoba nomphumela omuhle kuye. Khuluma nabangane bakhe abaseduze, bacele ukuba bahlale beseduze naye, kaningi ukubiza ukuhamba noma ukuvakashela. Lokhu kuzosiza indodana yakhe ukuba ibalekele othandweni lwakhe olungathandabuzeki. Vumela indodana yakho ingahlali "ezindongeni ezine", kodwa uphile impilo egcwele futhi esebenzayo. Uma ingane inezinto ezithandwayo - zikhuthaze. Mema ukuba abhalise kulokhu noma leso sigaba, lapho angasebenzisa khona isikhathi ngokuzizuzisa futhi athole abangane abasha ngezithakazelo. Into eyinhloko, ungamvumeli ukuba azikhiphe yena. Abangane, izinto zokuzilibazisa, ezemidlalo, amaqembu yizo zonke ezomsindisa ekuhluphekeni, kodwa hhayi ngokugcwele, kodwa okungenani kancane.
Ngendlela, uma unentombazane enhle engqondweni (isibonelo, indodakazi yomngani, osebenza nabo njalonjalo), simemele kanye nabazali bayo, vumela izingane zijwayele. Njengoba le nkulumo ithi: "Yenza umgogodla umgogodla."
Futhi into yokugcina, uma indodana yakho, naphezu kwakho konke ukuzama kwakho ukumsiza, isalokhu ikhiyiwe kuye futhi ikhanda lakhe linyatheliswa imizwa yakhe, thintana nodokotela. Uzosiza ngalesi simo ngokunembile nangomsebenzi ukuchaza lo mfana inkinga yakhe futhi uyinqobe. Ngelinye igama, ungahlali phansi, futhi uthathe isenzo - futhi indodana yakho ngokuqinisekile iyoyikhohlwa ngothando lwakhe olungenakulinganiswa.