Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngilungele ukuba ngumama? Ngilungile nengane yami? Ingane yami ingiphatha kanjani? Ngokushesha wonke umuntu uzibuza yona le mibuzo. Sabuza umqondo wengqondo womndeni uMaria Kashin ukuba akhulume ngezikhathi ezibaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni komuntu wesifazane (ukulungiselela umhlangano nengane, ukuzalwa kanye nemfundo). Mhlawumbe, lesi sihloko sizokwenza ucabange futhi ulungise ukuziphatha kwakho.
Ngokuqinisekile, akukaze kube sekwephuzile kakhulu ukuba umama. Ngakho-ke isimo salo wesifazane sihlelwe, ukuthi isisulu sokubeletha kunoma yisiphi isimo siboniswa kubo bonke abamele ingxenye encane yesintu. Ngisho noma manje awukwazi ukuzicabangela ngesithameli, ibhodlela nomntwana ngesikhathi silungile, akusho ukuthi ngonyaka, ababili, abathathu, abayishumi ngeke uzizwe ukuthi ufuna ngempela ukuguqula impilo yakho yonke emhlanganweni nomuntu obaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwakho . Indlela yokuqonda ukuthi usulungile (nokuthi ngabe kufanele ulinde lo mzuzwana)? Ungaba kanjani umama omuhle? Ukuqonda kanjani ingane enezwi lesigamu? Ake sizame ukuphendula le mibuzo neminye ...
Ngifisa ingane
Uma ngaphambilini isifiso esinjalo sakhula phakathi kwabesifazane abaneminyaka engama-20-23, ngakho-ke omama abanamakhono abanamuhla "baneminyaka eminingi", "kusho umqondo wengqondo womndeni uMaria Kashina. - Amantombazane ekhulwini lama-XXI aphelile ngokwengqondo ngomama eminyakeni engama-27-30. Futhi lokhu kuvamile. Indima yabesifazane emphakathini ishintshile: kumele sithole imfundo eyodwa noma ngaphezulu, senze umsebenzi, sishintshe abalingani abaningi bobulili bese sithatha isinqumo sokuba ngumama. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izinga lemithi yesimanje lenza abesifazane bakwazi ukubeletha ngo-30, futhi ngo-40, ngisho naseminyakeni engu-50. Kodwa ekuphishekeleni ukukhula komsebenzi, ngezinye izikhathi sikhohlwe ngendima enkulu yabesifazane, esinqunyiwe ngokwemvelo ngokwayo. Ukuba ngumama kokubili kunzima futhi kulula ngaso leso sikhathi. Ukuphila kwakho kuzoshintsha. Lokhu kuyiqiniso. Kodwa esikhundleni sokusebenza emsebenzini, uzoba nenjabulo yokumomotheka kokuqala, izinyo zokuqala, isinyathelo sokuqala somntanakho, futhi esikhundleni sokuthi u-chef uyakwazisa uzozwa igama elithi "umama". Yebo, futhi ukuzalwa kwengane akuqedi umsebenzi wakho (akudingekile ukuba uhlale ekhaya kuze kube usuku lokuzalwa lwenyanga engu-18), noma esikoleni (akekho oye wakhansela iholidi lezemfundo), noma ukuzijabulisa (ugogo nomkhulu, abanikazi bezingane bavumela ukuthi uhambe i-cinema, indawo yokudlela nesitolo, futhi ngonyaka ungakwazi ukuya eholidini kakade). Phakathi kwamabhonasi okuzalwa - isimo sengqondo esisha ngokuphelele (abesifazane abaningi ngemuva kokuvela kwengane baqala ukuzwa ubuhlungu besisu). Ngokuvamile, uma izingane ezincane zingakucasuli, uma uvame ukuma kumafasitela ngezingubo zezingane namathoyizi - isikhathi sakho sesifikile. Futhi ukungabaza nokunye ukwesaba kuvamile. Ukuphila kwakho akuyeki, kugcwele incazelo entsha! "
Ngingumngane ODALA ...
Kubonakala kuningi ukuthi isimo somama siyanqabela ukuba sibe nesineke nesineke, ukuhlala ekhaya, ukunakekelwa kwezingane nokugcina umlilo emzimbeni womndeni. Kodwa bonke abesifazane bahlukile kokubili ngobumnene, ngokulingana, nasemibono yabo mayelana nemfundo efanele yezingane. "Uma, ngemuva kokujezisa ingane yakho, uzizwa unecala, khona-ke ungumama ohle, okwazi ukucabangela nokufakazela," kusho umqondo wezengqondo uMaria Kashina. - Zonke izingane zihlukile: umuntu ubona indlela yokukhulumisana kuphela, umuntu angavumelana nomunye umuntu, futhi omunye udinga ukulahlekelwa isimo ngokuphambene nalokho. Uma udla ingane yakho njalo, bukela umbuso wakhe, umbizele ngamagama othandekayo, ngokuvamile uyenze futhi umthande kakhulu - khona-ke ungumama omuhle kakhulu. Yifunde kanye nhlobo. Intukuthelo nokungaqondi kahle nhlobo. Ukuze uqonde indlela yokuxhumana kangcono nengane yakho, iya kumculi wezengqondo noma zama ukuhlaziya ukuziphatha kwakho. Uphumelele nini ukufinyelela ukuqonda nengane engcono kakhulu? Wenzani futhi usho? Khumbula lezi zikhathi futhi uzithathele ekusebenzeni. Futhi futhi: ungazihlambalazi ngoba uya endaweni ethile ngaphandle kwengane. Awudingi ukuchitha amahora angu-24 ngosuku nosana. Udinga ezinye izihlobo (ugogokazi, omkhulu, omncane, omalume). "
YINI UMNGANE OCABANGA NGAKHO?
Ingane yengane yasenkulisa ayikho esimweni sokutshela ngalokho okuhlangenwe nakho nokukhathazeka kwayo, futhi kubalulekile ukuba umama omncane angaphuthelwa umzuzu lapho umntwana efuna usizo lwakhe nokusekelwa, futhi uma, ngokuphambene nalokho, udinga ukuzimela okuningi. Ukubuza imibuzo ehamba phambili akusizi ngalutho - awunakwenzeka ukuzwa kusuka kwengane yakho impendulo ehambisanayo. Abasenkulisa bavame ukuhlolwa ngokusebenzisa umdwebo nokudlala. Akukaze kube sekwephuzile kakhulu ukukwenza.
Isithombe-test "Umama + Mina"
Ingane iyamenywa ukuba izenzele yena nomama wayo. Ake sicabangele okuhlukahlukene okuhlangene nakho:
a) Umama nengane ziphakathi kwephepha, zibamba ngezandla, izibalo zilinganiselwe, zidwetshwe ngemibala ecacile yokuqinisekisa impilo - lokhu kuyindlela enhle ekhombisa ukuthembana nokuzwana phakathi kobudlelwane bomndeni, umoya ozolile futhi omuhle endlini. Siyakuhalalisela!
b) Umama nomntwana aboniswa njengento eyodwa, isibalo sibonakala sithandana - lesi sithombe sikhuluma ngokuxhumana okukhulu phakathi kwakho nomntwana, akaziqapheli njengomuntu ohlukile, ozimele. Futhi wena? Mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuthi "Mina" esikhundleni sentsana "thina"?
c) Umama udwetshiwe kakhulu, kanti ingane ingencane kakhulu futhi ikude: lokhu kuhlukahluka kuvame ukutholakala emindenini lapho omama banamathela emfundweni yemfundo yobuhlakani noma bachitha isikhathi esincane nezingane. Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuyeka umsebenzi wakho (mhlawumbe akudingekile), bese uzama okungenani imizuzu engama-50 ngosuku ukuphazamisa ingane yakho emisebenzini yasendlini kanye nefoni ngisho nangokwengqondo!
d) Ingane idonsela kakhulu, futhi umama usemncane futhi eceleni: lokhu kubonisa ukuthi umama emndenini unengxenye yesibili futhi akanalo igunya elifanele. Sekuyisikhathi sokukhombisa ukuthi ubani oyinhloko yendlu!
Uma izibalo zakho kulesi sibalo zingavumelani futhi "zihlukanisiwe" komunye nomunye (okuhlukile naku-d), ungasheshi ukudweba iziphetho. Bheka eminye imidwebo yengane yakho, mhlawumbe inkinga ayikho ekukhungeni kwengqondo, kodwa ekuhlulekeni ukulahla izinto kushidi.
Qaphela imibala yemidwebo: kukholelwa ukuthi ngokukhanya kakhulu imibala, kungcono. Kodwa cishe zonke izingane ngezinye izikhathi zikhetha yonke imibala ekhanyayo emnyama. Futhi lokhu akusona uphawu lwezinkinga ezimnyama nezinkinga ezingokwengqondo, izingane nje zikhangwa ngokuphambene nephepha elimhlophe noma zibangelwa ilukuluku ("Kuthiwani uma ngigcwalisa isithombe sonke ngombala nje?").
Ukuhlolwa kwegeyimu "Izihambeli eziqinisekisiwe."
Dlala nezingane ngosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa. Izivakashi zafika kuye (izihlobo nabangane), futhi kufanele zihlale etafuleni elifanayo. Ubani ozotshala eduze kwakhe, usondelene naye. Kusobala ukuthi izivakashi zingaba umama, ubaba, ugogo nomkhulu, abangane, amathoyizi, njll. Ukuze ube mnandi kakhulu, hlala etafuleni uphinde ufake izindebe namacwecwe.
UKUPHILA KWAMAMAMI OKUHLE
U-Ira Lukyanova, owayengumholi weqembu elilodwa "uBrilliant"
Kusuka eqenjini elithi "Brilliant" ngashiya ngesinqumo sokuzinikela ekuzinikeleni ngokuphelele emndenini, njengoba mina nomyeni wami sahlela ingane. Yiqiniso, izinyanga zokuqala zokukhulelwa zahamba ngandlela-thile ngokungazi lutho. Konke kwafika kancane kancane. Ngiyakhumbula lapho u-Anechka ezalwa, angikwazi ukukhetha igama lakhe isikhathi eside. Ngaphambi kokuzalwa, ngangifuna ukuyibiza ngeNdodana yakhe. Kodwa lapho ngibona indodakazi yami, ngabona ukuthi kwakungeyona neze iNyaya. Lapho u-Anechka esanda nje ukuqala ukuhlola izwe, empeleni, wenza konke okwakungeke kwenzeke: konke kwakuvuka, ukuthululela ... Yebo, angizange ngimvumele lokhu, kepha yena wayengenamandla kakhulu naye.
U-Anastasia Tsvetayeva, umlingisi
Lapho ngikhulelwe, impilo yami yashintsha nge-degrees angu-180. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuba ngumama, akukaze kube yisikhathi sokubukeza impilo yakho yakudala. Ngenqaba ukudubula emafilimu ambalwa amisiwe, ngoba ngaqaphela ukuthi ukuthatha umntwana ngaphandle kokucindezeleka okungadingekile kubaluleke kakhulu kimi. Futhi, uyazi, kwakukhona isikhathi lapho ngangiqala khona ukuzwa ukuthi ngizoba ngumama. Ngangibukela umntwana ekuqapha i-computer phakathi ne-ultrasound futhi ngibona ukuthi waphenduka. Futhi nganquma ukungaboni ubulili bomntwana. Ngangijabule kakhulu ngokuthi nginomntwana. Ngiyajabula kakhulu, nginakekele futhi ngingumama oqinile.
U-Olga Prokofieva, umlingisi
Omunye u-heroine emdlalweni uMaugham uthe: "Abanye bethu bangabesifazane abaningi, abanye bangamama." Mhlawumbe nginomama omncane, nhlobo. Futhi lokhu kuvamile. Ngesikhathi ngikhulelwe uSasha, ngazizwa, ngiyini injabulo - ukuzithwala ingane! KuSasha wami sekuyisikhathi sokuba, iziphepho nezinkanuko. Kukhona ukuqhuma nokuqhekeka ebuhlotsheni bethu. Yena, njengabo bonke abafana, uvilapha ngezinye izikhathi. Yamukela umbono wesilisa bese uchaza ukuziphatha kwendodanakhe, ukuzibeka esikhundleni sakhe, nokho akunakwenzeka, ngoba ubuchopho besilisa nabesifazane basebenza ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ngakho ngizama ukungamcindezeli.