Ubuhlobo bobulili bobulili bobulili bobulili obufanayo bebelokhu buwuphawu lokushiyeka, imibhangqwana engavamile ikwazi ukugcina ubuhlobo obunzima nokuhlala isikhathi eside kuneminyaka embalwa. Kuze kube maduzane, imibhangqwana enjalo ayikwazanga ngisho nokuphupha ngomndeni ogcwele, izingane, mayelana nenkululeko yokuba yilokho.
Umphakathi ufunde ukubekezelela abantu abangenalwazi olujwayelekile ukubekezelela, baqala ukuzizwa benesibindi phakathi kweningi labantu abesilisa nabesifazane. Intuthuko, kubonakala sengathi. Kodwa akazange ahambe kuze kube manje abaningi bengathanda.
Naphezu kokuthi amazwe amaningi athembekile emshadweni wobulili obufanayo futhi ubuhlobo obunjalo abukwenzi bukhathala, kunzima kakhulu ukudala umndeni ogcwele umlingani womlingani wobulili obufanayo.
Indlela yokwenza isipho? Kukuphi izwe lokushada? Ingabe kuvunyelwe ukwenza isivumelwano somshado? Ingabe izoba namandla? Isonto liphatha kanjani imishado enjalo futhi kungenzeka ukuba nomshado? Yini ezoshintsha futhi yiphi isiqondiso?
Lona nje uhlu oluthile lwemibuzo enqoba wonke amantombazane gay noma abesilisa abashadile. Konke kuyinkimbinkimbi lapha: kusuka emthethweni kuya ekukhethweni kwamasayina kumakhadi omemo. Mhlawumbe, yizo zonke lezizinto eziyinkimbinkimbi ezivimbela abantu abaningi ekuzikhombiseni okungokwemveli ukuthi bangathathi isinqumo ngokudala umndeni. Kodwa ungakwazi ukuxazulula cishe noma iyiphi inkinga, ngisho nokuyinkimbinkimbi okunjengaleli. Okujabulisayo ngokuyinhloko yiqiniso lokuthi kunenkululeko enkulu.
Uthando nomthetho.
Uma uzicabangela njengomuntu othanda ngobuqotho umuntu wobulili obufanayo naye, ngenkathi efuna ukuqina, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ubuhlobo obonakalayo, uyabesaba ngoba yonke into ibonakala ingenakwenzeka.
Ake sithi isipho senziwe, futhi ngokuphendula, "Yebo" othandekayo uzwakala. Yini elandelayo? Uphi nokuthi ubani ozohamba naye ngesifiso sabo sokuba ngabayeni bomthetho?
Okokuqala, kufanele wazi ukuthi kude nezwe lonke umthetho uzoba ohlangothini lwabathandi.
Ngisho neHorland eyaziwa kakhulu yaziwa ngabalingqingili ilungelo lokushada ngokomthetho kuphela ngo-2001, kodwa, okubaluleke nakakhulu, yaqaphela! IYurophu yiyena owokuqala ukushiya imibono endala emkhakheni womshado, ngakho-ke umshado eHolland, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, eSpain, eCanada naseNingizimu Afrika usuvele usuhlobo lwendabuko yama-gay nabesifazane besifazane emhlabeni jikelele. Kula mazwe ukuthi noma yikuphi umbhangqwana ohlonishwa ngokomthetho njengendoda nomkayo, indoda nomfazi, noma umfazi nomfazi, futhi esikhundleni sokubukeka kwe-oblique bayothola izifiso eziqotho ngenjabulo. Ukuze wenze lokhu, kwanele nje ukufaka isicelo sesifiso sokushada nohulumeni wasekhaya, ukukhokhela imisebenzi edingekayo yombuso nezintela, bese ungathumela ngokuphephile izimemo.
Iningi lwakamuva, izisekelo zobuzenzisi zawela eCzech Republic, eJalimane, eFrance naseBelgium.
Kunzima kakhulu izakhamuzi zase-US - kuleli zwe libukwa ukuthi imibhangqwana engqingili ingashada ingavumelani, naphezu kwenkululeko yomuntu, ihlakulelwe. I-US iyizwe elishayisayo, futhi lokhu akulungile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kuphela lapha ungashada cishe ku-vase oyikhonzile, kodwa ukuhlangabezana nezithiyo endleleni yokuhlanganiswa nabathandekayo bakho.
Futhi akulula kakhulu izakhamizi zasempumalanga, ikakhulukazi amazwe amaSulumane, lapho uthando olufanayo lobulili obufanayo lulahlwa khona futhi lwashushiswa.
Emazweni amaningi athuthukile kunenye indlela yomshado osemthethweni kubantu abanoma yikuphi ukuma. Isibonelo, iBrithani engakaqedi ngokuphelele ukunqotshwa kwabantu ngokweqile ezingeni likahulumeni, ngakho-ke abantu abanezimiso ezingavumelaniyo ngeke bathole isitifiketi somshado lapha. Kodwa kulo lonke izwe laleli zwe lihlonishwa ngokusemthethweni inhlangano yobumbano obunqunu, onamalungelo, awafani namalungelo omndeni wendabuko. Ngisho nokuhlukaniswa kombhangqwana ongqingili eBrithani kuzokwenziwa enkantolo ngesigaba esivamile sempahla nezinye izinqubo lapho izigidi zabantu abesilisa nabesifazane abadlula khona.
Ukuvakasha kusevisi ye-Cupid.
Njengoba wazi, ukufunwa njalo kudala isiphakamiso nomshado wobulili obufanayo - hhayi okuhlukile.
Iphupho eliqakathekile lokuba abashadisi abavumelekile lingase lihlale liphupho kwabangqingili abaningi nabasosayensi, uma bengabanikazi bezentengiselwano nabangaboni kahle. Inomboro enkulu yemibhangqwana engqingili ayinalo ithuba lokushada, naphezu kokuthi amazwe amaningi alungele ukubhalisa umshado wawo. Yingakho ama-ejenti amaningi okuhamba ahlinzeka ngemishado ebizwa ngokuthi "ehlukile". Vumela ukuthi bangabi namandla emthethweni, kodwa uma kungenjalo ahluke enkambweni yomshado yendabuko.
Ekukhethweni kwabathandekayo kukhona iziqhingi zaseTharadesi nemishado yabo yobuzwe, neYurophu nezinqaba zayo, ezicebile emlandweni kanye nama-pathos ngempela. Ekugcineni, kubaluleke kakhulu akuyona isitembu esibi kakhulu epasipoti, futhi usuku lomlingo kanye no "Yebo" olulinde isikhathi eside kuphendula: "Uyavuma?".
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhetha okuqondene nomkhosi ongokomfanekiso kusho futhi inkululeko yokukhetha noma yiliphi iphuzu lomhlaba nokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ungathembeki kuma-clich evamile.
Emaphethelweni enkohlakalo.
Futhi inkinga eyinkimbinkimbi kuphela ezindabeni zothando yabuye yahlala isonto. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imibhangqwana engama-gay iphupha kanjani emshadweni nesibusiso, isonto lihlala liqinile. Noma iyiphi inkolo yezwe inqaba uthando olufanayo lobulili obufanayo futhi yilona umugqa ongaphezu kwalokho lapho ukubekezela kwabefundisi bezwe kuphela khona.
Kodwa uma befisa, umkhiqizo ungatholakala kunoma yisiphi isimo futhi akudingekile ukuqasha umlingisi ogqoke ingubo ogcwele isibusiso ngeke sibe namandla.
Imibhangqwana engqingili ingashada ngokusemthethweni eSonto LaseSweden le-Episcopal. Kuyiqiniso, kuyadingeka ukwamukela lolo kholo, kodwa uma lufisa, le nkinga ikwazi ukuxazululwa.
Ngenxa yalokho?
Kuthiwani ngokujwayelekile ukucindezela futhi kunqobe izithiyo eziningi uma kungenzeka ukuba uphile ngokumane nje, ngaphandle kokubeka isimo senhlalo?
Umbuzo omuhle bonke abantu ababuzwa ngaphandle kokungafani, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bahamba kanjani. Kukhona impendulo engathà sina kulo mbuzo, okuyinto engaphezu kokungabaza. Futhi le mpendulo yizingane. Akufanele sikhohlwe ngesifiso sokuba ngabazali , okubonakala kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubani oyithandayo futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungubani.
Imibhangqwana yobulili bobulili obufanayo ayinakukwazi ukuba nezingane ezivamile ngenxa yezizathu ezizwakalayo. Uma izinyunyana zabesifazane zithola ithuba lokusebenzisa izimpumelelo zemithi, isibonelo, ukusabalalisa okufakelwayo, imindeni ehlanganiswa namadoda ingalinganiselwe ekukhethweni kwayo. Ukwamukelwa kuyisisombululo esihle kulo magazini, kodwa le nqubo ilukhuni kakhulu kunabo bonke abashadile bomshado. Imibhangqwana yobulili bobulili obuhlukile inethuba lokuba ngabazali, kodwa, njengoba kunjalo emindenini yendabuko, iningi linikezwa labo abashadile, futhi abanikazi babo bahlolwe amandla.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwakunjani, ithuba lokujabula yilokho konke, futhi kukhona izindlela eziningi zokufezekisa, udinga nje ukwazi ukuwasebenzisa ngesikhathi esifanele.