Ekuzalweni komfana emahlombe asezingane zakhe ezinesibindi, ngokushesha uwela umthwalo wemfanelo: lo uyindlalifa, umlandeli womndeni kanye nendoda yangempela. Umqondo wendoda yangempela - impela impela futhi empeleni, wonke umuntu uyamnika okuthile okungokwakhe. Kodwa ezinye izici zikhona ngokungenakuphika - indoda kumele ihlakaniphe, inamandla, ithembeke futhi ibe nesibindi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, okuqukethwe kanye nencazelo yalo mqondo kunezinguquko ezinkulu: uma ngaphambili bekukholelwa ukuthi ukubukeka akuyona into eyinhloko kumuntu, namuhla umuntu ombethe kabi akanakwenzeka ukuba uthathwe ngokuthi "wangempela". Izinguquko ezifanayo zithinte incazelo ye "othembekile" - namuhla bakhetha ukufaneleka "okubambisana" noma "ukhiye wokujika", ngoba awukwazi ukudla ukuthembeka okukodwa. Ngakho-ke, abazali kufanele baqale ukuzikhethela bona-bafunani endodaneni yabo. Uma yonke imfundo izokwehliselwa ekuhlazweni "Indoda yangempela ayikwenzi lokho", umphumela uzoba nokudabuka. Phela, ingane idinga ukugxeka okwakhiwayo kuphela - kunokusho lokho okwenzayo okungalungile, kuyadingeka ukuthi uchaze kahle okufanele kwenziwe.
Kunzima ukukhula indoda kusukela kumfana, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi abazali, beqaphela izinga lokuzibophezela, baqala ngendwangu yokufundisa ingane emqondweni wokuba "ngumuntu", futhi ngenxa yalokho, bavame ukujezisa futhi bangazitholi kangcono kunamantombazane. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abazali bangathanda ukukholelwa ukuthi ngenxa yalokho "ukuqina" kwendodana yabo indoda izovela, akunjalo. Ngokuvamile kunalokho, umphumela wemfundo enjalo ingumntwana onesizotha.
Ngakho-ke, yini ongayenza ukuze indodana yakho ifanelane nemibono yakho mayelana nendoda yangempela, ukuthi ungadala kanjani indoda yangempela kumfana oyoba ukusekela kwakho nenjabulo ekugugeni? Ngenkathi ingane encane, yiba nomusa futhi uzwele naye, ukuqina ngokweqile kuleli cala ngeke kusize ukufeza umphumela oyifunayo. Enhliziyweni yobuhlobo bakho nendodana yakho nobuhlobo bakhe nawe kufanele ube ngowokuqala nothando olukhulu. Ngemuva kwalokho, yilokho oyisibonelo sobudlelwane umfana azodlulisela ekukhuleni - ngakho ubuhlobo bakhe namantombazane buzokwakha. Ukuze ube indoda endala, indodana yakho yayiyindoda, kufanele ibe manje. Chaza futhi ubonise indodana yakho ukuthi ungowesifazane, umama - futhi udinga usizo lwakhe nokuvikelwa. Ngisho nomfana omncane angakusiza - uthathe indebe, ipuleti noma usebenzise okuthile okudingekayo. Uma kukhona ubaba - naye, naye, kumele akusekele kulo mdlalo. Ubaba angachazela indodana yakhe ukuthi bangabantu, futhi kufanele banakekele abesifazane babo ngangokunokwenzeka.
Umfana ovuthiwe kumele akwazi ukuthutha unina kuphela, kodwa nakwabanye besifazane namantombazane. Ungakhohlwa ukudumisa indodana yakho, ukuqaphela ukuthi uziphatha njengomuntu wangempela futhi uyaziqhenya ngaye. Abafana, udumo luvame ukuchaza okuningi - bangokwemvelo kakhulu abasengozini kunabesifazane futhi badinga isikhuthazo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abafana bayazikhandla ngokwengeziwe kunamantombazane - futhi zonke izinkulumo zibenza baziqaphele ngokwengeziwe. Uma ezwa kubazali bakhe kuphela ngokushiyeka kwakhe, futhi zonke izenzo zakhe ezinhle zihlala zingabonakali, ukuzihlonipha kwengane kuqala ukuwa ngobuningi. Kulesi simo, kubazali, into esemqoka akufanele ihambe ngokweqile. Izingxoxo eziningi kakhulu zokuzikhandla nazo zimbi, njengamazwi amaningi kakhulu. Umfana ongenakuqhathaniswa, onenhlanhla, othembekile ekungenakwenzeka kwakhe, naye ude nomfanekiso wendoda yangempela, njengengane enesabekayo neyezinyosi, esaba igama ngalinye lomzali.
Kuyaziwa ukuthi cishe bonke abafana bangama-hooligans amakhulu, futhi abazali bavame ukubuka amehlo omntwana wabo, bezama ukukhulisa indoda yangempela kuye, baxwayise ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, bawavikele ezingozini futhi babonise ukukhathazeka. Ibuye idinga inhloso yegolide - inika ingane inkululeko, kumele ifunde ukwenza izinqumo zayo, isibonise isibindi nesibindi. Umsebenzi wakho ukuchaza ukuthi yini isibindi sangempela nalokho okungamanga. Nikeza isiqondiso ezenzweni zakhe, ungafaki ukulalela okungaqondile, kodwa qiniseka ukuthi inkambo jikelele yokunyakaza nezenzo zomntwana kulungile. Kulokhu, into ephumelela kakhulu imfundo yomfana ngesibonelo sikababa, umfowabo, umalume. Uma umndeni ongenamadoda - unikeze esigabeni sezemidlalo, lapho umqeqeshi engumuntu, noma ekhuluma nomunye wabafundisi bazo esikoleni, nomunye wabangane babo besilisa.
Ulwazi mayelana nendlela yokuziphatha indoda yangempela, abafana bafundela kalula emlonyeni we "isibonelo esiphilayo." Kodwa engxoxweni ethi "amadoda anamadoda" nawo anezobuqili bawo. Ngokuvamile upapa ungayizwa inkulumo ethi "kahle, uyabhonga, ngoba ungumuntu" noma "amadoda angalili." Abafana emva kwemishwana enjalo baqala ukucabanga ngokuthi bangewona amadoda langempela bese bexoshwa, behlazeka ukubonisa imizwelo. Kodwa izinyembezi nombono wobuningi akuxhunyiwe nomunye. Vumela umfana aveze imizwelo yakhe ngangokunokwenzeka. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, yena ngokwakhe uzoqonda indlela yokuziphatha. Futhi manje zama ukufundisa ubujamo bakhe ngendlela ehlukile - makamsize ubaba ezindabeni zamadoda - ulethe isisindo (ingane, empeleni, amandla adonsela phansi akufanele abe nzima, isibonelo, isinkwa esivela esitolo), usize upapa ngemisebenzi yasendlini. Uma umndeni unehlukaniswa kwamacala abe ngowesilisa nowesifazane, ingane izothumela imodeli efanayo emndenini wakhe wesikhathi esizayo, futhi lokhu kungafaka emibonweni yamanga ngezingane, isibonelo, ukusiza umama ukuhlanza - hhayi umuntu. Okulungile nakakhulu imodeli "okhululekile - owenzayo." Kulokhu, bobabili umama nobaba bangadonsela indodana encane, kodwa kakade umuntu wangempela, emsebenzini olula - ukusula izitsha, ukususa amathoyizi abo.
Ungakhohlwa ukunikeza isikhathi sokukhuluma nendodana yakho. Kodwa vumela le ngxoxo ingabi nje yindlela yakho yokukhuluma mayelana nokuthi kufanele asebenze kanjani. Manje uyazi ukuthi ungakhula kanjani indoda yangempela, ngoba umsebenzi wakho ngowokuqala ukuzwa ingane yakho, uqonde imizwa yakhe uphendule yonke imibuzo yakhe. Indlela enhle yokuxoxa ingxoxo, lapho ukuphindaphindiwe akuyona nje indlela yokuziphatha. Kubalulekile ukuthi ingxoxo inenjongo, iyathakazelisa wena nomntwana. Khona-ke ukwethembeka ebuhlotsheni kuyoba yisisusa esihle kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni izimfanelo zomuntu kumfana wakho.