Ngokuvamile uzwa: "Umngane wami wangcwatshwa othandekayo. Ngifuna ukusekela, kodwa angikwazi ukuthi ngithini. " Abantu banamuhla besaba ukufa futhi bawagweme abantu abasinda ekufeni komuntu othandekayo wezihlobo zabo. Ngingazi ukuthi kufanele baziphathe kanjani, abantu bavele baphenduke emuva, balinde kuze kube yilapho umuntu ebuyela evamile eyedwa. Futhi kuphela umoya oqine kakhulu ohlala kuwo, thola amazwi nokusekelwa esikhathini esinzima sokuphila.
Ngeshwa, imikhuba yasendulo yokulila emngcwabeni manje ikhohliwe. Zibhekwa njengeziqu, kodwa ngeze. Emcimbini womngcwabo wamakhulu eminyaka adlule kunencazelo ejulile, konke kwakuhloswe ukunciphisa imizwa yokufutheka nokwesaba. Kudingekile ukuthi sikhumbule ukuthi abesifazane bamenywa kanjani emcimbini womuntu oshonile, baphinda ngendlela yokukhala nokukhala amagama athile. Isenzo esinjalo senza izinyembezi ngisho naphakathi kwalabo ababesezinhlungwini ezinzima, beletha ukuthungatha nokukhulula umuntu ekusizeni ekujuleni komphefumulo wabo. Manje phakathi kwabantu kuyakwamukelwa ukuba "ukuzungeze" eduze kwebhokisi, ngaphandle kokubonisa izinyembezi, okuyinto engozini kakhulu kwi-psyche.
Isigaba sokuhlupheka
Ukuzwa ubuhlungu kwengqondo nokuhlupheka ngemva kokufa komuntu othandekayo kunqunywa izigaba ezithile. Ngokudlula konke, umuntu kancane kancane ufunda ukubhekana nokuhlupheka futhi ugcine ngangokunokwenzeka impilo yengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi lezi zigaba ziyahluka kanjani ukulandelela ukuthuthukiswa okulungile noma okuphathelene nekhanda lenqubo nabangani babo noma ngokwabo. Ngezinye izikhathi kukhona "okunamandla" kwesinye isigaba, lapho kakade ngaphandle kosizo lochwepheshe akukwazi ukukwenza.
Shock kanye nobunzima
Ihlala kancane kancane kuneviki. Umuntu akaqondi futhi akawamukeli ukulahleka, akakwazi ukukholelwa ngokugcwele kuwo. Kubonakala ekuphelelweni okuphelele, futhi, ngokuphambene, emisebenzini eyedlulele, inhlanhla. Isimo sokugcina siyingozi kakhulu, kuye umuntu ngokuvamile akaqondi kahle ukuthi ungubani, ukuthi ungubani nokuthi uzokwenzani ngempela. Lesi simo sivamile ngokuzimela, kodwa kubalulekile ukugcina umuntu ngokusondelene kakhulu.
Umuntu kufanele akhale. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungamthathi ebhokisini, ungazami ukusheshisa inqubo yomngcwabo. Lesi yisikhathi lapho ungabona khona isikhathi sokugcina esiseduze. Ukukhala nokububula emngcwabeni kukhona ukuphulukisa, noma kungabonakali kungabonakala kanjani. Le nqubo ayikwazi ukuvinjelwa. Ngokuphambene nalokho, "efriziwe" ensizini yakho udinga ukusiza ukukhala, ukuphumula, ukukhulula ngokwengqondo.
Yeka
Kuhlala izinsuku ezingamashumi amane. Emva kwalesi sikhathi, hlela ukuphawula, ukubeka uphawu "lokukhululwa" komuntu oshonile, ukwamukelwa kweqiniso lokuthi umphefumulo wakhe awusekho nabaphilayo. Umuntu, njengombuso, useqonda ngokucacile ukulahlekelwa kwakhe, nakuba ukuqonda kwakhe akumukeli ngalutho nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ngokuvamile ubona oshonile esixukwini, uzwa izinyathelo zakhe. Ungesabi lokhu! Kukholelwa ukuthi kuhle uma okungenani ngezinye izikhathi ngamaphupho.
Uma ulahlekelwe othandekayo futhi ufuna ukumbona ephusheni, zama ukukhuluma ngengqondo. Mcele ukuba aphuphe. Izazi zengqondo ziphikisa ukuthi uma oshonile engaphundanga isikhathi, inqubo yokulila ivinjiwe. Kulesi simo, usizo lomchwepheshe wezokwelapha olukhethekile luyadingeka. Kubalulekile ukugcina yonke inkulumo ngomuntu oshonile. Kule nkathi kuvamile uma umuntu osiziyo ekhala.
Ukwamukela ukulahlekelwa, ukuhlala kwangaphakathi ubuhlungu
Lesi sigaba sigcina izinyanga eziyisithupha. Ukulangazelela umfi kuhamba "amaza": kubonakala ukukhulula, bese kuqinisa futhi. Umuntu nje owaqaphela usizi lwakhe, ezama ukuhlala naye, ukuphatha, nakuba kungasebenzi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngemuva kwezinyanga ezintathu, ngokuvamile ukuhluleka kwenzeka - amandla athile akhathele. Umuntu uwela ekuziphatheni, ekucindezelekeni, kubonakala sengathi konke kuyohlala kubi, ubuhlungu ngeke buyeke.
Lesi sigaba siletha umuzwa onamandla wecala ("awusayikho, kodwa ngiyaphila"). Lokhu kuyindlela yokuzivikela evikelayo, umzamo womqondo wokuthola ukulawula lesi simo ("Nginecala, ngingashintsha okuthile"). Kodwa ezimweni eziningi, abantu abakwazi ukuthonya izimo zokufa komuntu othandekayo, ekugcineni kufanele bawamukele lo mcabango. Kukhona ukuthukuthela komuntu oshonile ("ungishiyeleni?"). Esikhathini sokushisa, lokhu kuyinto evamile, ngokuvamile izikhathi ezinjalo zihlala isikhathi esifushane.
Abantu bavame ukwesaba ngalomcabango onobudlova, kodwa kuvela, futhi kufanele wamukeleke. Ubugebengu buhlala isikhathi eside kwabangaphandle, "benecala" ekufeni komuntu othandekayo. Kuyinto umzamo wengqondo ukuthola okungenani ukulawula okuthile. Into eyinhloko ukuthi inqubo yokufuna labo abanecala ayithathi isikhathi eside kakhulu. Izinyembezi kule nkathi zingaphansi kakhulu. Umuntu kancane kancane ufunda ukuba khona ngaphandle komuntu oshonile. Uma inqubo yokulila iqhubekela phambili evamile, amaphupho afile kule nkathi kakade ngendlela ehlukile - ezweni elihlukile, phakathi kwezingelosi, hhayi ekhaya.
Ama-relief aid
Isikhathi sesifikile. Umuntu kakade uyazi ngokugcwele ukulahlekelwa futhi wamukela othandekayo ngokuqondile ofile. Ekuphileni kukhona ukubuyiselwa kancane kancane kwemisebenzi yangaphambili, uxhumano nemisebenzi. Kukhona amacala amasha, obaziyo, umuntu uqala ukuphila ekhwalithi ehlukile. Ngenkambiso yokuqhubeka yokulila, abahambayo bakhunjulwa njengabaphilayo (abafayo), bathi ngokumomotheka ngezikhathi ezimnandi ezitholakale naye. Ekupheleni konyaka, umuntu angakwazi ukulawula imizwa yakhe yokukhuluma, ukwesaba nobuhlungu.
Ukuphindaphinda okuphansi kwezo zonke izigaba
Kuhamba wonke unyaka wesibili wokuphila. I-splash eqondile yenzeka ngonyaka wokuqala wonyaka. Nokho, umuntu ufunde ukulawula usizi lwakhe, imizwa ayinamandla kakhulu. Ekuseni phakathi nonyaka wesibili, ukuqhutshwa kokugcina kwemizwa ejulile kubonakala. Kulula kancane usizi, uma kunesikhathi sokulungiselela ngaphakathi ukufa. Isibonelo, uma othandekayo egula isikhathi eside, futhi umphumela wawunqunyelwe ngaphambili.
Ngisho nezinsuku ezimbalwa zohlobo oluthi "ukulungiselela" kunganciphisa kakhulu usizi lwabantu abathandekayo. Into ebuhlungu kakhulu futhi ebuhlungu ibhekene nokufa okungalindelekile engozini ephumayo. Ukulula okuncane kunomuntu okhulile, okubaluleke kakhulu, ngaphandle kokungabaza, ukunakekelwa kwezingane. Amadoda kunzima kakhulu ukubhekana nokufa kunabesifazane. Ngokuqondene nokulindela okulindelekile komphakathi, "abakwazi ukukhala", kuyilapho izinyembezi zabesifazane zingokwemvelo futhi ziqondakala kubo bonke.
Uma yonke inqubo yokulila idlula ngendlela evamile, ke eminyakeni emibili iqedile ngokuphelele. Abakhohlwa ngomuntu oshonile, kodwa manje bangaphila ngaphandle kwalo. Bakhumbula abafile, abakhanyisa, abakhanyayo, abangenayo izinyembezi, intukuthelo netyala. Uma lokhu kungeke kwenzeke, ungadinga usizo lesazi sengqondo.
Ukufa Kwezinambuzane Zasekhaya
Ukufa kwezinkomo ezifuywayo kubonakala sengathi kubuhlungu njengokulahlekelwa yisihlobo. Amahostela kulesi sigaba yizigaba ezifanayo zokulila. Kakhulu kunazo zonke, uma abanikazi kufanele benze ngokuzithandela isinqumo ngokukhipha isilwane. Lokhu kunzima ukwamukela, kodwa ezimweni ezinjalo kusiza umqondo wokuthi isilwane, ukwazi ukuthi singayikhuluma kanjani, cishe siyabuza mayelana nokuhoxiswa kwayo. Uma isilwane sasigula kakhulu ngaphambi kokufa, isinqumo sokulala singukuqeda ukuhlupheka, futhi akukho mbuzo okufanele ubulawe.
Lesi silwane sasiphila ngokujabulisayo nangokuthula eceleni kwakho, futhi ukukhwabanisa akuzange kube ngukungathengiswa ngaye. Lokhu kungukufa okungcono kunayo yonke isilwane, okuhlinzekwa ukubulawa kwesifo esibulalayo. Ukuqina komninindlu kubonisa ukuthi isinqumo esinzima senziwa ngothando lwezilwane, ufisa ukumsindisa ekuhluphekeni. Kuyasiza ukuqeda into encane enkumbulweni yesilwane. Isibonelo, ungasiza ngemali yezilwane ezingenamakhaya.