Futhi bonke abantu basho njalo ngobuqotho ukuthi baphupha ngomkhuleko womndeni othulile, izingane nabesifazane abathandekayo abathandekayo, kodwa hhayi manje, kodwa esikhathini esizayo.
Ake sibone ukuthi kungani abantu besaba ubudlelwane obunzima? Isizathu esivamile ukungafuni 'ukuzibopha' ngenxa yamanoveli angaphumelelanga esikhathini esidlule futhi, njengomthetho, lapho umuntu ekhungatheka kakhulu ebuhlotsheni obuthandweni, lapho ekhula ngokwengeziwe ukwesaba ukwehluleka futhi, ngokulandelanayo, abafuni ukuzibophezela ebuhlotsheni obuhlala isikhathi eside ubulili obuhlukile. Amadoda abheka ukuhlukanisa nokuhlukaniswa kwempahla yezihlobo nabangane ngokucophelela bafuna "ukuhlehlisa" izenzakalo ezithandekayo, ngoba, empeleni, ukuhlukanisa kuyindlela yokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili obuqinile, ngakho-ke amadoda azama ukuhlangabeza ukunqotshwa endleleni yokuphila. Amanye amadoda ahlale efuna owesifazane ongcono, ngoba uyena omuhle kunabo bonke, owaziwayo futhi othanda kakhulu, uyohlale eqonda futhi efudumele. Ukuthola ukungaphumeleli kwamanye abaphikisana nobuhlobo obunzima, lo muntu "uhlanza" lowo ozobhapathizwa ngenxa yokungahambisani nomqondo wakhe. Amanye amadoda, ngisho asevele esethandweni nesigamu sabo sesibili, zama ukugwema ukukhuluma ngokuhlala ndawonye, ngokumane ukholelwa ukuthi okwamanje kusheshe kakhulu ukuba ucabange ngamaphi amathemba. Amadoda amaningi, nakuba ehlehlisa umshado, ekugcineni, azibopha ngomshado. Kodwa kunezinhlobo zamadoda angakwazi ukwenza ubudlelwano obuzinzile nokuhlala njalo. Amanye amadoda anomqondo ongathí sina azama ukusheshisa. Esikhundleni sokukhula kakhudlwana, laba abamele ubulili obunamandla abakaze bathuthuke futhi besaba ukungenisa impilo yansuku zonke ebuhlotsheni bomndeni ekuphileni kwabo. Olunye uhlobo lwamadoda, okuthiwa "ama-bachelors aqinile." Njengomthetho, sebevele beneminyaka engama-35-40 ubudala, laba bangabantu abajwayele ukuhlala bodwa, bathembele kuphela kubo futhi bancike ngokuphelele ezintweni zabo. Ezwa ukuthi unamathela kumuntu wesifazane, eqaphela ukuthi uqala ukuthatha ukubaluleka okubalulekile empilweni yakhe, indoda enjalo iyaqala ukuzihlukanisa ngamabomu - ikhansela ukuqokwa, ibiza izikhathi ezimbalwa, ibhekisela ezindabeni eziphuthumayo eziqhubekayo. Ama-bachelors azinzima ayenqika ukumema owesifazane endlini yakhe, angasho ukuthi ufuna ukuhlala ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo. Kungcono ukudeka kumadoda anjalo, ngaphandle kokuthi, uma ukhangwa indima yokuba ngumngane waphakade.
Sithini, ubulili obuhle, sizimisele ukuhlala nomuntu othandekayo impilo ende futhi ejabulisayo? Indlela kuphela yokuguqula ubudlelwane nomuntu ekuphileni okude nokuzinzile ukwamukela umbono wakhe. Ukuhlukumeza njalo umuntu onemibuzo mayelana nethemba lekusasa elihlangene, owesifazane uqala ukubeka ama-ultimatums "Ngakho-ke, awuthandi! "" Anginandaba nawe! "Njalo njalo. , uqala ukukhala nokudabuka. Izindlela ezinjalo zivame ukunikeza ukufiphaza okwedlulele ebuhlotsheni futhi kuholele ekuhambeni okuhlukile. Indoda, ebona ukuhlupheka kanye nokuhlukunyezwa komlingani wakhe, inquma ukushiya, ukuze ungabi nomuzwa wecala owedlula zonke ezinye imizwelo.
Kodwa kunezibonakaliso zokuthi ungaqonda kalula ukuthi ubuhlobo obunzima empilweni yomuntu buyinto ebaluleke kakhulu futhi uphatha umlingani wakhe ngokucophelela futhi ngokujulile. Isibonakaliso sokuqala singanqunywa uma kungxoxweni yendoda enekhethi yakhe noma nabangani isimemezelo esithi "thina" sibonakala kaningi. I-Psychological Psychology ithi uma umuntu eqala ukubona omunye umuntu, useke wayeka isimo sakhe njengesizungu futhi wakha ikusasa lakhe kanye nomlingani wakhe. Uma uchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sobuhlobo obunzima. Indoda engenaso isithakazelo sokuhlanganyela isikhathi nowesifazane (ngaphandle kokuthi lokhu akuyona into ethanda uthando), uzochitha isikhathi sakhe samahhala ezemidlalo, ezokuzilibazisa noma ezithokozisa enkampanini yabangane abathokozile. Ubufakazi bokuthembela nesimo esikhethekile ukuthi umuntu uyakwazi ukubeka "amathoyizi ayithandayo" - ikhompyutha, imoto nezinye izinto ezizithandayo kuye owesifazane wakhe. I-Quarrel ingenye isibonakaliso sobuhlobo obunzima. Umuntu oyedwa othandweni, ohlonipha owesifazane wakhe, uzochitha isikhathi nesisulu ekuxabaneni nomngane wakhe womshado. Ngokwemvelo, inhloso yobuhlobo obungathí sina phakathi kwabantu ixabana nomphumela omuhle. Isibonakaliso esibalulekile sobuhlobo obunzima siyazi nabazali nabangane. Abangane ngumphakathi wendoda lapho angase abe khona futhi aphumule, ngakho-ke, lapho ejwayele ukhethwa ngabakhethi bakhe nabangani bakhe, indoda ifuna imvume nemibono ebantwini abalulekile. Isibonakaliso esicacile kunazo zonke sokubaluleka kobuhlobo ukwakhiwa kwamapulani namathemba wekusasa elihlangene. Lokhu kusho ukuthi lo muntu uqala ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo hhayi yena kuphela, kodwa futhi nomfazi othandekayo wakhe. Futhi uma umuntu enquma ukuhlala nomuntu othandekayo wakhe, ake kube khona ukukhuluma ukuthi lokhu kuyisiqalo, ukubheka kangcono umngane, ngokungangabazeki, lesi yisinyathelo esikhulu endleleni efanele.
Luhlobo luni lwabesifazane abathandwayo futhi abakhethwa ngamadoda anezinhlelo ezifinyelela ubuhlobo obunzima? Abesifazane abamnika ithuba lokuzizwa njengendoda engabeki lokho okukudla kwasekuseni futhi ilawula imihlangano eqondile nabangani abaqonda futhi bamukela izithakazelo zamadoda. I-interlocutor ehlakaniphile ongayikhuluma naye kunoma yisiphi isihloko. Umuntu ohloniphayo olalela umbono wakhe, ngisho noma engavumelani naye, obumbisomhlaba futhi ohlakaniphile ezimweni ezinzima. Noma yikuphi owesifazane owesilisa ozikhethela wona, kubalulekile ukuhlala kuye okuhle kakhulu futhi okukhangayo! Ungakhohlwa ukuthi imizwa eqinile ayiyona into engavamile kubantu futhi isizathu esiyinhloko esiholela umuntu emhlabeni wokuphila komndeni njalo njalo uthando!