Wonke owesifazane amaphupho okushada naye. Owesifazane uphupha hhayi kuphela ngomshado uqobo, kodwa futhi mayelana nokugqoka komlobokazi omhlophe. Madoda, ngokuphambene nalokho, ngisho noma kukhona abafanelekile abafanelekile ngendima yomfazi, ungasheshi ukuya ehhovisi lokubhalisa. Kodwa kungani owesilisa esaba kakhulu ihhovisi lokubhalisa? Amadoda amaningi akakwazi njalo ukuvuma ukuthi abesaba ukubhaliswa okusemthethweni kobudlelwane. Ngokuvamile, amadoda ashukumisa ukwesaba kwabo nge-conjugal yabo engaphumelelanga noma ehlangenwe nakho yothando, izinkolelo-ze ezingekho, ngakho-ke baphikisana ngokuthi umshado womphakathi ungumshado omuhle kakhulu.
Kulokhu, kuphakama umbuzo: indoda inomfazi olungiselela, asuse, alahle, agqoke izingubo, ahlanganyele ocansini naye, esikhundleni sokungafuni lutho, kungani kufanele athathe noma yiziphi izibopho ngokwakhe, uma kunjalo? Awudingi ukunakekelwa, ukushayela ekudleni, futhi, ukugcina owesifazane akuphoqelekile, ngakho-ke kubiza kancane. Owesifazane onamalungelo ezinyoni, ngaphambi kokuvula umlomo wakhe kumlingani wakhe, uzocabange futhi, futhi umfazi unamalungelo athile, okwenza amethembe futhi angamemeza umyeni wakhe, amenze enze okuthile. Iqiniso, indawo ekhululekile? Ngokwemvelo. Futhi ngokuzumayo empilweni yomuntu intombazane ethakazelisayo iyothuthuka futhi uma engashadile, unethuba lokusebenzisa lesi simo futhi azijwayele. Lesi esinye isizathu sokuba amadoda angafuni ukuba nesitembu seZAGS epasipoti yawo.
Abafazi bomphakathi, njengombuso, baphoqeleka ukuba batshele wonke umuntu ukuthi bayajabula emshadweni womphakathi futhi banelisekile ngalabo bantu. Kodwa kaningi lokhu akunjalo, ngoba wonke owesifazane uphupha mayelana nobuhlobo nomthandi wakhe osemthethweni.
Amadoda asaba ukulahlekelwa inkululeko yabo futhi lokhu kuyisizathu esiyinhloko sokungafuni ukungena ebuhlotsheni obusemthethweni. Amadoda amaningi ayaqiniseka ukuthi emva kokubhaliswa, owesifazane uzophulwa ngokushesha ngamalungelo akhe, uzokhombisa njalo imisebenzi yakhe. Ukukhwabanisa indoda ehhovisi lokubhalisa kuyinkimbinkimbi ikakhulukazi uma esenayo isipiliyoni esishadile esingaphumeleli ngemuva kwakhe. Kodwa ngisho noma indoda ingashadile, ukuqala umndeni kanye naye bekungeke kube lula. Embuthanweni wabangane bendoda ngayinye engashadile kukhona nabangane abashadile abathanda ukukhononda ngokuphila komndeni, ngaphandle kokuhawukela ngokukhululekile isimo sesibalo somngani.
Indoda esaba ukulahlekelwa inkululeko yakhe ivame ukuzibiza ukuthi akahambanga. Ngakho-ke, umshado wakhe uzomthanda owesifazane oyedwa. Emadodeni kukhona izilingo eziningi, ngakho kunzima ukuba anqume ngesinyathelo esinjalo futhi aziqaphele ngokuzithoba izinjabulo zokuphila kokuphila. Ukuzimisela ukushada nendoda kuzovela ngemuva kokuhamba kwakhe.
I-bachelor eqinisekisiwe inzima nakakhulu ukukhohlisa ehhovisi lokubhalisa, njengoba ejwayele ukuhlala yedwa, ngakho akafuni owesifazane ahlale eduze kwakhe. Ngisho noma u-bachelor othembekile ethandana, akayikusheshisa ubuhlobo bakhe nentombazane, ngoba uyaqonda ukuthi umshado uzoguqula impilo yakhe, futhi engakakulungeli ukushintsha indlela yakhe yokuphila.
Amanye amadoda asaba umthwalo wemfanelo, ngakho angasheshi ukushada. Umuntu usetshenziselwa ukulawula impilo ngokuqonda kwakhe ukuthi akakulungele ushintsho. Futhi bayoba njalo emva komshado - kuzodingeka bashintshe imikhuba yabo bese beyeka yonke into abajwayele ukuyenza nokuthi bangenzani ngaphambi komshado, bavumelane nesigqi esisha ngokuphelele sokuphila. Lo muntu uyaqonda ukuthi ukukhulumisana okujabulisayo nabangani kuyoba yinto esedlule. Esikhathini esedlule, kuyoba nalabo abasha abajwayele ukuthakazelisa, ikakhulukazi ngobulili obuhlukile. Uma umuntu ethanda impilo yakhe yokuphila, khona-ke kusukela emcabangweni wokuwushintsha uyothola ukwesaba.
Amanye amadoda akwanele impilo yomndeni, ngoba nje abanayo isikhathi esanele emndenini wabo ngenxa yomsebenzi wabo emsebenzini. Uma umuntu onenhloko yakhe eya emsebenzini, akakwazi ukukhumbula ukuthi kufanele abize othandekayo wakhe, ukuthi kusihlwa bahlela ukuya ndawonye ukuvakashela noma kubhayisikobho.
Amadoda amaningi ayesaba abesifazane abasho ngokucacile isifiso sabo sokushada. Amadoda ayesaba futhi nalabo besifazane ababonisa ukuthi bafuna ukushada ngesimo sabo sonke.
Uma owesifazane efuna ukuthi okhethiweyo wakhe ayeke ukuhlehlisa umshado okwesikhashana, khona-ke udinga ukubekezela futhi akasho njalo ukuthi udalwe omunye nomunye.