Kungani abantu besaba ukubonisa imizwa

Cishe ngamunye wethu wafihla imizwa yakhe ngothando lokuqala futhi wafuna ukuthola ukuthi imizwa yakhe iyabelana yini. Ngemva kwesikhathi esithile, sathola umkhuba wokugcina imizwa kithi. Kuba nzima ukudalula ngokwakho, ukuvuma ukuthi uthandana namaphupho ukuhlala njalo nomuntu esimthandayo. Amadoda ngokwemvelo abhekwa njengamahloni kunabesifazane. Ngoba, mhlawumbe, bazama ukufihla imizwa yabo yangempela ezinhliziyweni zabesifazane.

Ngokuvamile kunezizathu eziningana ukuthi kungani amadoda ngesinye isikhathi esaba ukubonisa imizwa. Lokhu kufaka phakathi ukwesaba, ukuziphendulela nokwesaba. Ngezansi zonke lezi zizathu.

Amahloni. Ukubonakaliswa kwayo kokuqala kungabonakala ngisho nasemakilasini amancane, lapho abafana bethola amantombazane abafundi abahle kakhulu ngezingulube ezide, kodwa abanakho ukuzimisela, ukuze bafinyelele kubo noma bazinikezele ukuba bahlale endlini. Amahloni namahloni yizilinganiso. Futhi uma kwenzeka umuntu engabaza ukuhlangana nowesifazane, lokhu kungakhuluma okuningi. Ngokuvamile, isizathu siwuthando, lokhu akubonisi ukwesaba ohlukile kobulili obuhlukile. Nakuba kungenzeka ukuthi uma indoda ibheka kude noma izama ukuhlala kude kude ne-interlocutor, ayiqondiswa imizwa yokukhanya. Mhlawumbe kuzokwenzeka ukuthi owesifazane uphendule indoda ngokuziphatha kwayo, noma akumjabulisi njengomuntu. Uma owesifazane engumfazi womuntu ofihla ubuso bakhe, lokhu kungasho ukuthi angase abe nezimfihlo ezithile kuye, mhlawumbe ngisho nokuhlubuka. Kodwa-ke, kufanelekile ukucabangela isimo, lapho zonke izibonakaliso ezingenhla zisho uthando lomuntu. Ukubheka lezi zibonakaliso ezibonakalayo owesifazane angakwazi kuphela uma engenqikazi ukuba enkampanini yendoda futhi uzolalela ukutadisha kwezenzo zakhe nesimo sobuso.

Ukwesaba. Ekuboneni kokuqala, kungase kubonakale sengathi amadoda angesabi, ngoba anamandla amakhulu. Kodwa-ke, ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi yilowo wesaba ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukuqala nokwakha ubuhlobo obuvumelanayo, ukuthi imizwa yakhe ngeke ibe yinkinga, futhi uthando lwakhe luzoshiywa ngaphandle kokunakwa. Ezikhathini zasendulo amadoda ayengamaqhawe, abazingeli, abafisa bonke ukuba banqobe ukunqoba, kuhlanganise nothando. Ngokusobala abazange babhekane nezinqatshwa zalabo besifazane ababengabamba izinhliziyo zabo. Imvume yabesifazane kubaqhawe besilisa kwakusho ukunqoba. Esikhathini sethu, amanye amadoda ngezinye izikhathi acabanga ukuthi abesifazane baphambuka ngokubonakala kwabo noma ukuthinta. Kodwa lapho evuma uthando lwakhe, uyaqaphela ukuthi unqotshwe, futhi lokho kuzohlala kuze kube phakade. Amantombazane asetshenziselwa isimo lapho umuntu enqaba, ephonsa, angenza isenzo futhi ashiye. Ngakho-ke, mhlawumbe, abesifazane banamandla lapha. Kodwa amadoda, engajwayele ukunqoba, zama kuqala ukulungisa "inhlabathi" ukuze kutholakale ubuhlobo, ukuze owesifazane abuyele ekuboneni uthando.

Ukungaqiniseki. Ukungaqiniseki, lapho kukhona imizwa yomuntu othile, ukubhekana nemicabango yakho futhi uqaphele ukubonisa isinyathelo - ukuvuma kokuqala, kunzima kakhulu. Indoda ingabaza ukufaneleka kwezenzo zakhe uma ifuna ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala kumuntu ongazange abonise isihawu ngaye futhi akenzanga isenzo esingasho ukuthi imizwa iyabelana. Khona-ke, ngaphambi komuntu, kunesidingo sokwenza ukukhetha okunzima phakathi kokuthembeka nokufihlwa. Esinye sezizathu zokwenqaba abanye besifazane ebuhlotsheni obunzima kuba ukungaqiniseki. Ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala kumuntu ukuthi uhlangabezane nomqondo wakhe futhi ulungele ukwenza konke ukuze owesifazane kuphela amnake. Kodwa-ke, angase aqiniseke ukuthi lo mzwelo uzodlula yini maduzane, futhi ngabe ngeke yini ukuthi uchitha isikhathi sakhe futhi wachitha isikhathi esiningi namandla ukuze azibonele yena.

Ukungaqiniseki kubonakala njengomphumela wokuhlangenwe nakho okungalungile kokuphila, ukwesaba ukubuthakathaka kunowesifazane nokukhumbula inqwaba yamacala lapho abesifazane bengabuyiselanga khona.

Amadoda azifihla imizwa yabo, kuyilapho abesifazane bengabokuqala ukungazibonakali.