Ngaphambi kokuba sikwazi ukudala umndeni futhi sisayine izitifiketi zomshado, ngeke sikhululeke ukufunda nokusayina imiyalelo ngokucacile ukuthi "singasebenzisa" kanjani ukuze singabalimazi "ekusebenziseni". Futhi kungcono ngaphambi kokuya ehhovisi lokubhalisa ukuthatha ukuhlolwa bese uthole idiploma, eqinisekisa ukuthi siphumelele ngempumelelo ingqondo yezobuhlobo bomndeni futhi silungele umshado. Kungani ukwakha izindlu, ukuklama izindiza futhi ukushayela imoto ngaphandle "ukukhuphuka" akunakwenzeka, kodwa ukwakha umndeni, ubudlelwane bokuklama nokuphatha isiphetho somunye umuntu - unga? Ingabe lokhu kungabi nesibopho esincane? Cha! Kunalokho, ubuhlobo obungenakulinganiswa emndenini owodwa ekugcineni buba yinkinga engenakugwetshwa kuyo yonke imiphakathi. Kodwa ingabe umphakathi uyakhathalela ngalokhu? Ngokuvamile, cha! Noma kunjalo, umndeni ngamunye ungakwazi ukuzinakekela ngokwawo.
Izikhalazo kanye nokuhlambalaza lapho sekuthandana ngokuthandana kwabantu - umphumela wenkambo ephuthelwe kakhulu "yomndeni omncane." Ngenxa yalokho, iminyaka yokuqoqa izimangalo, ukungaqondi kahle nokungaqondi kahle, kunenkinga yobuhlobo lapho umndeni uqhuma khona. Ngokusho kwezibalo, amadoda ngokuvamile akwazi ukumelana nokushisa komfutho. I-psyche yabo ingaphansi kokungqubuzana okuncane futhi ayikho nhlobo incithakalo yokucacisa ubuhlobo. Ngakho-ke, umnyango ngakolunye uhlangothi lomndeni uvale kaningi ngemva kwabo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi baya emaphoyiseni abo, kubangani, kunomama, noma nje ukukhokha amanxeba awo endaweni ethile endaweni engathathi hlangothi, singaqagela kuphela. Ukuze uthole ukuthi kungani-kungani-kanjani-ba-zanyamalala, sigijimela emaforamu, kubangani-abangane, kubazali. Kodwa mhlawumbe kufanele sicele la madoda ngokwabo ukuthi kungani asiphosa lapho siwathanda?
Uhamba noma uthathe "isikhathi sokuphuma"?
"Akulona njalo ngemva kokuhamba komuntu ukuthi ihlukaniso lilandela, hhayi njalo umuntu, ukuqoqa amazinyo, amasokisi nama-panties aphuma ekhaya, ahlele ukubeka uthando lwakhe kwi-suitcase. Laba besifazane baxuba imiqondo emibili ehluke ngokuphelele: "indoda ishiya" futhi "indoda ithatha isikhathi"! - wachaza ngenkulumo engagwegwesi, amadoda asele. Umbono wesilisa wale nkinga uhlukile kakhulu kulowo wesifazane, futhi ubona ube yimpande. Uma indoda iphuma emndenini, ayikushiyi kowesifazane, kodwa kusuka esifundazweni esivela kuye. Ushintsha isimo esisodwa eduze komunye wesifazane, esinye isifunda eduze kwesinye. Indoda idlula ngamashukela kuphela kule ndawo yokududuza lapho ezwa khona eqinile, eqiniseka, enakekelayo, ephumelelayo, ethandweni futhi ethandwa. "Ukuphuma isikhathi" kuyadingeka ukuba umuntu aziqonde yena kanye nobuhlobo obunikeza ikhefu. Wamane nje ehluleka ukuzizwa eduze komuntu othandekayo isimo sakhe esadala umndeni wakhe. Ukuhoxiswa okunjalo kunemikhakha emibili yentuthuko yemicimbi: ukushiya kuze kube phakade futhi ushiye "ikhefu", emva kwalokho umjikelezo omusha wokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane bomndeni ungaqala. Isiphi isimo esibonakalayo sincike ikakhulukazi kowesifazane. Uma ebona ukuhamba kwakhe noma ukuhlukana (ngokomzimba, ngokomoya) njengento yokuhlambalaza, isahlukaniso asinakugwema. Gcina indoda yakho ethandekayo ingabuyela kuye kuphela induduzo yezwe kanye nengokomoya, lapho yena, ekufakweni, njengomuthi, akakwazi ukubuyela nje.
10 izinyathelo ngaphambi kokunakekelwa indoda ethandekayo
Isinyathelo 1. Thatha umuntu ukuthi ungubani. Indoda ayiyona into, futhi umuntu akufanele amphathe kabi: "Angiyithandi! Guqula ingubo, ikhekhe noma ukulungiswa. Indoda ingakhuthazwa kuphela ngazo zonke izindlela zokuthuthukiswa, isebenzise lokhu izinzuzo zayo ezingenakuphika. Ukugxeka nokugxila ezintweni ezingekho - hhayi indaba engcono kakhulu yokufanisa umyeni wakhe esithombeni nesifane nesimo sakhe esihle. Futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ungakhohlwa ukumdumisa nokumbonga ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho efanelwe khona!
Isinyathelo 2. Zithande okungenani kunomuntu. Owesifazane ozinikezele ngokugcwele kumuntu futhi wakhohlwa ngobudlelwane bakhe, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi akaba mnandi kumyeni wakhe. Akekho ocela umhlatshelo e-altare lothando, ngakho-ke kuyinto engavamile ukwenza isimangalo kumuntu, ukuthi uyeka ukuthanda owesifazane oziqalile (kuzo zonke izici). Wathandana nalowo ophuthumayo kuze kube usuku lwakhe, akazange akhohlwe ukugcoba izindebe zakhe, wamenza waba nomona ngesixuku sabantu abagibeli bamahhashi futhi wazi ukuthi angahlukanisa kanjani owesilisa ovela ekhebula. Yisiphi isamba owesifazane asibekela sona, indoda enjalo ikhokha!
Isinyathelo 3. Thanda ubulili nendoda yakho. Ubulili ngenye yezinsimbi "eziqinile" ezigcina indoda eduze komfazi. "Isimo esisisekelo" emshadweni akufanele sibe sesibili. Makube ngcono i-borscht ngeke ibe yiphunga, kunokuba kube khona "ubulili obubi" noma ngeke kube khona. Indoda yaseBorscht ayinakwenzeka ukuya komunye owesifazane, kodwa ngokuya ocansini ... Vumela umndeni umndeni uhlale usondelene: "funga, yenza ukuthula, kodwa ulale phansi ndawonye!" Futhi makungabeki ukubeka ubulili okuzenzekelayo kuphela.
Isinyathelo 4. Khuluma nomuntu. Imindeni lapho abantu abakwazi khona ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngothando, mayelana nezinkinga, mayelana nobuhlobo, bancane amathuba okuhlukana. Yiqiniso, owesifazane udinga ukukhuluma ngokuthuthukisiwe kunomuntu. Ngakho-ke, inzuzo yokwakha imodeli yobudlelwane lapho izinkinga ezingenandaba khona, zikhona kuye. Kukhona umthetho wegolide, ukugcina okuzoholela ekukhulumisaneni okwakhiwayo: umyeni kumele aqale athole, anikezwe ukuphumula bese eqala izingxoxo ezinzulu noma ezinengqondo. Noma kunjalo, izazi zengqondo ziyakwenqabela ngokuyinhloko ukuqala ingxoxo ngamagama: "Sawubona, sidinga ukukhuluma!"
Isinyathelo 5. Ukumangaza, ukukhathazeka, ukugqugquzela lo muntu. Uthando luyafa lapho abashadile bephumula futhi behluleka ukunqoba, bafune umusa kanye nokondla uthando. Ngaphandle kokuncane, kodwa izinto ezinjalo ezibalulekile ebuhlotsheni, njengezingqingi zokuhlukanisa, ama-sms othando, izingcingo ngaphandle kwesizathu, izinkumbulo ezincane ezimnandi, ukunakekelwa okuthinta inhliziyo, owesifazane uba umkhuba. Ukubikezela yisinyathelo sokuqala sokwehliswa ebuhlotsheni. Kulula kakhulu ukulahlekelwa uthando lomuntu ngokunganaki okungajulile, okungaqondakali kokubili kuzoba ukunganakwa.
Isinyathelo 6. Ungabi ngumngane womuntu. "Ungabi abangane nami! Ibulala owesifazane kimi "- umuntu othile wachaza ngokucacile umphumela wobungane phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane. Emshadweni, ikakhulukazi owake wahlala iminyaka eminingi, ubungane buvame ukuthatha indawo yothando. Yebo, kuhle! Kodwa kubi uma uphakamisa uthando lomshado phakathi kwabashade. Emndenini onjalo, umfazi uba ngumngane onakekelayo, ozwelayo, oyisifuba somyeni wakhe. Ngomngane ungakwazi ukuphuza ubhiya ngaphambi komdlalo onomthwalo wemfanelo, ungazihawukeli iziqalekiso zendatshana ezintathu zokuphila, zivumele ukuthi ungahlungi futhi unganiki izimbali. Ingabe lokhu kuyamukeleka ebuhlotsheni nabesifazane abathandayo?
Isinyathelo 7. Yiba ukusekelwa okuthembekile nokwethenjelwa kwamadoda. Uma owesifazane wonke amaphupho omuntu ngemuva kwakhe, njengalokhu udonga lwamatshe, khona-ke noma yimuphi umuntu ozosinika isigamu sombuso ngowesifazane ozoba yindoda engokwethenjelwa ngemuva. "Ngosizi, nangenjabulo, emcebweni nasebumpofu!" - akukhona nje amazwi esivumelwano somshado. Indoda ifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi othandekayo akayenaye ngenxa yempumelelo yakhe, udumo noma imali, kodwa ngenxa yakhe. Kubalulekile ukuba aqonde ukuthi ngisho noma izwe lonke liphikisana naye, owesifazane wakhe uyohlale emela emva kwakhe, futhi ngokuthula anikeze amashadididi.
Isinyathelo 8. Ungesabi ukulwa nendoda. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuzwakale kangakanani, umndeni ongenazo izingxabano uzolahla. Uma abashadile bengayitholi ubuhlobo, kufanelekile ukuhlola "ukushaywa" komndeni onjalo, mhlawumbe usefile kakade? Ngezinye izikhathi amadoda angaboni ngokuhlukumezeka ukuhlambalaza ukuqinisekisa ukuthi kukhona imizwa futhi bangempela. Ukuxabana komndeni kuyithuba lokuqondana, ukuveza ubuhlungu babo nokuveza lokho okwakungabonakali. Phikisana nendoda ongayidinga futhi ngisho nokuyidinga! Into eyinhloko akuyona ukungathandana nokufutheka komsindo, kepha esimweni sokuthula ukubeka umqondo emkhandlwini womndeni, okuvimbela ukusebenzisa amagama athi "akakaze" futhi "njalo" ngesikhathi sokuphikisana.
Isinyathelo 9. Ukuhlala nendoda kuhlale kuhlukile. Ukuze athandwe, owesifazane kufanele ahluke njalo. Ngakho wathi i-fashionista edumile uCoco Chanel, futhi amagama akhe awasho nje kuphela isithombe nesimo sezimpahla zowesifazane. Ebudlelwaneni nomuntu, lo mthetho uphinde usebenze ngokungenasici. Lo wesifazane uzobe engahleleki, okuzohlale engalindelekile futhi engaqondakali kumuntu. Umfazi kufanele ahlale enesibhamu sakhe semifanekiso eqotho ezogcina umyeni wakhe enhle. Kungaba intombazane encane ofuna ukuyikhathalela, kanye nenkosikazi enesidingo, onobukhosi obufuna ukuzitholela, kanye nomuntu ophethe ikhono elihle, eliseduze njalo elihle futhi elwanelisayo, nomthandi onothando, oya-ngisho nasezulwini, ngisho nase esihogweni. Into esemqoka akukona ukunamathela esithombeni esisodwa.
Isinyathelo 10. Gcina indawo. Imisebenzi emndenini yasatshalaliswa ngabantu abakuqala ababeveza ngokucacile ukuthi ubani ophethe ama-mammoth endlini, futhi ngubani owagcina indawo yokupheka nokupheka ama-cutlets, ama-klabishi nemiqulu ye-jellied. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi, amanzi amaningi aphelile futhi izinhlobo eziningi zomphakathi ziye zashintsha, kodwa isakhiwo somndeni, lapho umuntu engumdali, futhi owesifazane, umgcini we-"hearth" - uye wahlala isisekelo esiyisisekelo. Ukudala ukuhlala endlini, owesifazane uyathonya ngokungathí sina izintambo zesilisa zasendulo. Ukuze kungenzeki endaweni yakhe yokusebenzela, ezweni noma ngisho "ehlangothini lwesobunxele" eliye lavela ngesikhathi, indoda izothathwa ngendlela engaqondakali kulowo ndlu lapho ukuhlanzeka, ukuhleleka nokududuzeka kubusa khona, lapho kukhona khona iphunga elimnandi lama pie futhi lapho kukhona khona isimo sokuzondla nokungahambisani nomthetho.