Inhlekelele idlala imidlalo enonya, iphoqelela ukuba sikhethe phakathi kothando nomsebenzi, phakathi kwezifiso zomphefumulo kanye nesizathu esizwakalayo, phakathi kwendoda engathandeki nendoda ethandekayo. Abesifazane ababhekene nenkinga enjalo yokuphila, inhliziyo idilizwe ngesigamu. Ingxenye eyodwa ifuna ukugcina ubuhlobo nomyeni wayo, ababophezela kubo izibopho zabo, izingane, impahla, inkumbulo yothando oludlule kanye nokunqoba okuhlangene kanye nenjabulo. Futhi enye - iyathuthumela ngothando olusha lomunye umuntu ogcwalisa ukuphila ngencazelo nethemba lekusasa elijabulisayo. Ikhanda liyaphenya! Obani okufanele bavume? Inhliziyo enothando noma ingqondo engqondweni? Indlela yokunquma nokuthi yini okufanele ukwenze ukuze imiphumela yokuzikhethela ingabe ingaba buhlungu kakhulu?
1. Thola izidingo
Ukuqonda isimo kuzosiza ukuhlaziywa okulotshiwe kwezidingo, ezenziwa emishadweni nasebudlelwaneni nomuntu othandekayo.
Uhlu lwe "Yini engigcina emndenini?"
Isibonelo:
- ukuzinza ngokwezimali (izindlu, imali, njll);
- induduzo yengqondo yengane eyokhula emndenini ophelele;
- ukuqaphela njengengumama womndeni;
- ukubikezela kokuziphatha kwawo wonke amalungu omndeni;
- ukusekelwa kwezihlobo noma abangane bomndeni;
- ukuhambisana kocansi nomyeni wakhe, njll.
Uhlu lwe "Ngiyithola kanjani ebuhlotsheni nomuntu othandekayo wami?"
Isibonelo:
- uthando, oluvezwa ngokuthinta isisa nokuthandana;
- ukuzizwa okubalulekile nokuzikhethela;
- ukunakekelwa okuqotho nokunakekelwa;
- ukwesekwa, usizo, ukubamba iqhaza ngobungane;
- inhlawulo;
- izimbali nezipho;
- ubulili obunothando, njll.
Ngokuhlukile, ungenza uhlu lwezimfanelo ezinhle zomyeni nomthandi. Ukulungisa ephepheni zonke "izinzuzo" ekusebenzelaneni kwabo kuzokuvumela ukuba ubone isithombe esicacile salokho okuzolahleka ngokuthatha isinqumo sokuhlukanisa nomlingani wakho noma othandekayo.
2. Thola izisusa ezingokoqobo
Kulesi sigaba, kuyadingeka ukunquma ukuthi isifiso sokubhubhisa impilo yakudala siqondiswe ngempela uthando lwangempela, hhayi ngesifiso sokukhokha lokho okushiwo ubudlelwane obudala. Lapha kuzodingeka ube obala kakhulu futhi uthembeke kuwe, ukuxazulula izingxabano zangaphakathi ezikuvimbela ekuboneni iqiniso. Futhi iqiniso liwukuthi akekho abayeni abalungile noma ababi, abathandi abahle kanye nenjabulo yomndeni ongenalutho. Kunoma yikuphi ubudlelwane obusha sizitholela kumuntu wangaphambili ongenakubekezelelana, ongahambisani naye, ofuna ukuzikhethela, ozigoqelayo, owenza umhlatshelo, njll. Sizama ukwakha entsha emanxiweni angathuthuki ngenxa yokwesaba kwethu, izingqinamba, okuhlangenwe nakho. Siyikhohlwa ukucabangela "ingqondo" yothando, "ephila iminyaka emithathu", bese iphendukela ebuhlotsheni noma umkhuba, lapho ufuna nje ukubalekela ebuhlotsheni obusha.
3. Qaphela isimo soxantathu uthando
Okwesithathu ebuhlotsheni bobabili kubonakala lapho ezinye izidingo zinganelisekile (ukwesekwa, ukuvikelwa, ukwethula, ubulili, imali, njll). Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungase kuzwakale kanjani ukuthi i-paradoxical, i-"corner" yesithathu ibasiza ukugcina umndeni owawela enkingeni yobuhlobo. Izimpikiswano empilweni yomndeni yalokho kanye nezinkinga, okwakungenza uhlu lwemicabango, ubuyekeze ubuhlobo futhi bubeke phambili. Futhi lokhu "okwesithathu okungeziwe" kuyadingeka ukuze uqaphele ukungabi nalutho bese uzama ukugcwalisa ubuhlobo nomyeni onemizwa nemizwelo elahlekile. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuzodingeka uvakashele isazi sengqondo somndeni. Kodwa ngokuvamile kubalulekile ukunikeza umndeni ithuba lokuba "azalwe kabusha emlonyeni."
4. Phuma "amanzi amasha" uthando olusha
Uthakazelisayo olwenza umqondo ngisho nokusimama kokulondolozwa ngokuvamile kwenza uthando luyisiphukuphuku, luyimpumputhe futhi luyizithulu. Imizwa eqotho iphazamisa ukuhlola ngokulinganayo kokubili umuntu nesimo. Futhi ukuphazamisa ingqondo "izibuko ezinemibala egcwele" kugcizelela isithunzi somuntu othandekayo, futhi ngokumangalisayo ukunciphisa izimfanelo zakhe ezimbi kuze kube sekupheleni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, i-aura yenjabulo eyakhayo idalwe yilokho isimo "sothando" oluthandwayo - imihlangano engavamile futhi engamukelekile, ukukhathazeka nokuntula imizwelo, kanye nokungabi nokuzibophezela, ukuphila okuvamile nezinkinga ezingabonakali emndenini omusha. Ngakho-ke, ungasheshi ukuphothula iziphetho mayelana nothando lweqiniso nomuntu omusha, uma ubuhlobo obungakaze buhlangane nosizi nenjabulo.
5. Hlola imizwa yamadoda womabili
Ngakho-ke uthando oluqotho, ungabheka kuphela ngokubonisa ukukhathalela kwakho, okuyinto emadodeni ayosho iphuzu ebuhlotsheni. Indoda ethandekayo iyothola noma yikuphi ukukhetha owesifazane, ngoba uthando lweqiniso alukwazi ukuzikhukhumeza. Uzokwazi ukuthola amandla okuvumela owesifazane ukuba ahambe lapho ezojabula ngempela futhi akwazi ukusinda ebuhlungu bento engekho naye. Futhi ngeke ashintshe icala futhi abe nomthwalo wemfanelo kuphela emahlombe akhe. Ekuwehleni kothando njalo kubeka icala kubo bobabili. Indoda ehlonipha umndeni wayo izokhuluma ukuthi ilungele ukuguqula nokugcwalisa ubuhlobo ngencazelo entsha, imizwa nemizwelo. Uzokwenza konke ukuvumela oshade naye ukuba ahlale, futhi uma kwenzeka, kuwukuqhathanisa kuphela nokuqonda ukuthi indoda engcono kakhulu ayikho. Indoda ethandekayo, uma isilungele ukudala umndeni, izofakazela ngezenzo ukuthi ingozi yowesifazane ilungile futhi ngeke izisole ngesinqumo esenziwe. Omunye wabantu abazobe bexoshwa, bephindiselele ukuzethemba, ukuhlazeka nokulimaza, ukusebenzisa izindlela ezingcolile, akufanelekile ukuchitha noma nini, akukho ukuzisola, ngisho nothando.