Kodwa ngokuvamile konke kuhle kuze kube umzuzwana lapho kufika izingane. Ngokujwayelekile, labo ababengumntwana munye, bafuna ababili, noma abathathu, ngoba babefuna kakhulu umzalwane noma udadewabo. Oshade naye okhulile emndenini omkhulu, futhi lapho ebhekene nazo zonke izinsizi nezinjabulo zokuphila okunjalo, kuqala ukuhlola amathuba akho, uthandwa kakhulu kwengane eyodwa.
Indlela yokuxazulula lesi simo? Futhi kungcono kanjani umndeni? Ake sizame ukuthola impendulo yalo mbuzo.
Uma ubheka kusukela ekubukeni kwemiphakathi yezenhlalakahle, khona-ke inketho enhle, ukuthuthukisa isimo sabantu ezweni, inani lezingane emndenini kufanele libe ezintathu. Esikhathini esizayo, omunye uzothatha isikhundla sikayise, omunye umama, kanti wesithathu - kanye nomunye kubantu abaningi. Kodwa ekusebenziseni okungenani ezintathu akuxazululwa, ngoba leli bhizinisi aliyona inkinga kuphela, kodwa futhi libiza.
Ukuze unqume inani elihle lezingane emndenini, into yokuqala okufanele uyiqaphele yinto ebonakalayo, kanye nesimo sezulu esingokwengqondo emndenini. Ukushiya lolu lwazi, sekuvele kungenzeka ukuba uhlole ngokucacile ukuthi kungenzeka yini abazali abazayo.
Futhi kwenzeka ngaphandle kwezingane.
Kukhona imindeni lapho umbuzo wezinombolo zezingane umane nje ungavuki. Akunjalo ngoba konke kunqunywe ekuqaleni futhi ngokuqinile, kodwa nje ngoba lo mndeni awufuni ukuba nezingane, noma nje awukwazi ukwenza ngezizathu ezihlukahlukene. Manje imikhaya engenabantwana yaqala ukuhlangana kaningi kunanini ngaphambili. Iphutha yisimo sempilo, isimo sezezimali, isici sengqondo, noma intshiseko eyengeziwe yokwenza umsebenzi.
Yiqiniso, uma kungenakwenzeka ukukhulelwa ngenxa yezizathu zomzimba, khona-ke kukhona izinketho ezinjengokuzalwa komama noma ukutholwa. Kodwa kwenzeka, futhi nje ukungafuni ukumbhangqwana oshadile ukuthola ingane, njengomthombo wezinkinga ezingadingekile nokukhathazeka. Kulungile noma cha, akusikho ukugweba. Kusukela ekubukeni kwengane, kuvame ukuthi kungcono ukuthi ungazalwanga, kunokuthi uzalwe umuthi kuphela, ukuthi omakhelwane ababukeli abazali babo.
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Uma umndeni usacabanga ukuthi ube nezingane, konke kuvame ukuqala ngomntwana oyedwa. Nakuba kungekudala amacala amawele namawele asuke avame kakhulu. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi ngokufika kwengane elinde isikhathi eside, abazali bajama lapho. Isizathu sale mingcele yimbono yangempela yabazali ngesimo sabo sezimali kanye nokuhlolwa kwamathuba esikhathini esizayo. Phela, ingane ayanele ngokwanele ukubeletha, idinga ukukhuliswa, ukuphakanyiswa, ukufundiswa nokufakwa ngezinyawo. Akuyona indima encane edlalwa yinkinga yezindlu. Uma usengakwazi ukuhambisana nengane eyodwa ngandlela-thile ekamelweni elilodwa legumbi, khona-ke ngezingane ezimbili kunenkinga enkulu. Nakuba abaningi bekwazi ukwakha kanjalo. Njengomunye wesifazane owake wathi, ngubani owayenendodakazi kuphela: "Ngingathanda ukuba nomntwana wesibili, kodwa angikwazi ukucabanga ukuthi ungabeka kuphi isikhalazo sesibili ..". Amazwana lapha akhulu.
Kodwa kunezici eziningi ezingalungile zesimo somntwana oyedwa emndenini. Okokuqala, izingane ezinjalo kusukela zisencane ukuya ekuvuthweni, zihlale zigcinwa phansi futhi zigcinwa abazali bazo. Ngokuvamile izingane ezinjalo zikhula zikwazi ukuzethemba futhi zibugovu kakhulu. Inqubo yokuphila bafundiswa kabusha, kodwa umkhuba wokuba "ngaphansi kwephiko", ngezinye izikhathi uhlala impilo. Kukhona futhi ithonya lento efana nokuthi "kufanele". Lapho ingane ikhula, uqala ukungafuni, kodwa kusuka kuye. Kufanele afunde kahle, afinyelele impumelelo ezemidlalo, angene, ahambe emsebenzini, atshade, abelethe izingane nakho konke lokhu ngaphansi kwesiqubulo esithi "kumele" futhi ngaphansi kwengcindezi yabazali. Iyiphi indlela engcono kakhulu ethinta ngayo.
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Lapho abazali benquma ukuthatha isinyathelo esinomthwalo wemfanelo, futhi banqotshwe ukukholelwa kwengane ukuthenga umzalwane noma udadewabo - ingane yesibili ivela emndenini. Okokuqala, ukubukeka kwesigamu sesibili akuthinti kakhulu isimo sezimali sabazali. Izinkinga ziqala ngisho nalapho izingane ziya esikoleni, zingena esikhungweni, kodwa abazali bavame ukubhekana nazo. Isizathu sokubukeka kwengane yesibili nhlobo uhlobo lokucabanga okungafaniyo ukuthi intombazane nomfana bazalwa emndenini. Kulezi zikhathi, inani lezingane alisekho ngaphezulu, kodwa ngesisekelo sobulili.
Ngezinye izikhathi abazali, ngale ndlela, bavele "bahlukanise" abantwana, ngokusho noma ubani abafuna ngaphezulu.
Kusukela ekubukeni kwengane ekhulile, ukubukeka kwengane encane kuba kokubili ukuhlolwa nokukhululeka kuye. Phela, manje ukunakekelwa kwabazali kusakazwa phakathi kwabo, futhi akugxila ezintweni ezilodwa.
Ngokufanayo, izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi izingane ezimbili emndenini zidala izimo ezithandekayo zokuthuthukiswa ngokomqondo nangokwenyama wengane ngayinye.
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Ingane yesithathu emndenini yi-feat. Ososayensi bakholelwa ukuthi izingane ezintathu nazo ziyindlela enhle kakhulu emndenini, yebo, uma kuvunyelwe leli thuba lezezimali nezimo zezindlu. Ngokuvamile abazali abaye banquma ingane yesithathu esikhathini esizayo bangakhathaleli ukuvela kwesine noma kwesihlanu. Ukugcwaliswa okunjalo akunamthelela omncane esimweni sengqondo nomzwelo emndenini. Izingane ezinjalo, ozimele ngokwengeziwe futhi ezijwayele, zisiza. Bayazisa futhi baxabise izibopho zomndeni, futhi balondoloze othintana nabo kulo lonke ukuphila.
Nika impendulo ecacile, ethinta inani lezingane emndenini, ezikhathini zanamuhla kunzima kakhulu. Zonke izimo zizodwa kakhulu, futhi nezinketho ezahlukene zokuthuthukiswa. Ngomunye umuntu, injabulo ikhona eqinisweni lokuba khona kwengane emndenini, kumuntu othile enombolweni yakhe. Abanye bangavumela inkulisa yonke ukuba ikhuliswe, kodwa inakekelwa eyodwa, kuyilapho abanye emandleni okugcina badonsela "iqembu lebhola lezinyawo" elizithandayo - futhi ngamunye wabo ujabule ngendlela yakhe.
Ukuzikhethela kungokwakho, futhi akekho onelungelo lokukuyala ukuthi ukwenze, noma kunjalo. Into eyinhloko ukuthi abantwana emndenini bayathandeka, bathandekile futhi balinde isikhathi eside, kanti abanye, ngemizamo yabazali, bayolandela.