Lesi yisikhathi esiyingozi kakhulu empilweni yabantu - iminyaka engama-40-50. Kulesi sizukulwane baqala ukuhlanganisa imiphumela yokuphila, ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala bedikibala. Abantu abaningi baphetha ngokuthi ukuphila kulahlekelwe incazelo yayo, futhi uzama ukubamba. Ngokuvamile, amadoda athola insindiso ekunamathiselwe okusha - iminyaka yobudala iyinani eliphakeme kakhulu lokuphinga. Okwamanje, bambalwa kakhulu abanquma ngomshado omusha ...
Ukuziphatha komuntu oshadile ngemuva kweminyaka engamashumi amane kubhekene nenkinga yobudala obuphakathi. Cishe yonke imindeni yabhekana nakho ngezinga elithile. Ngokuvamile, umyeni "uyisiwula". Omunye naye wathatha le sutukisi futhi washiya. Yiqiniso, iningi lala maswidi ngemuva komnyango lafaka umfazi olimale lapho ethola ukuthi idemoni liye lashaya imbambo. Futhi ngeze ...
Uma umuntu onamahloni engqongqoza, umuntfu akakaze (okungenani ekuqaleni kwe-"binge") engacabangi ukushiya umndeni wakhe. Akabheki umfazi omusha - ufuna ukuvuselelwa okusha empilweni, ukuzwa okusha kocansi, icala elisha lomzwelo. Ngoba iminyaka engu-15 kuya kweyengu-25 yokushada (sikhuluma ngendoda yomndeni oyisibonelo), imizwa ekhuthele kumkayo isuke idonswe. Futhi lokhu kuyimvelo, nakuba abesifazane abafuni ukuvumelana nokusobala. Sonke sifuna ukukholelwa ukuthi uthando oluvuthayo lungahlala isikhathi eside. Yeka ... Uthando-uthando phakathi neminyaka embalwa yempilo yomndeni kancane kancane luguqulwa lube yinto enokuthula. Abanye bathi umkhuba. Cha, hhayi ngomkhuba - ekunamathiselwe, ebuhlotsheni obungokomoya, emphefumulweni womphefumulo. lapho bobabili bomshado bekhululekile omunye nomunye (okungenani, kufanele kube njalo).
Kodwa-ke, isikhathi siyahamba, futhi emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane ekuqapheliseni kwalowo muntu "izwi" elishaqisayo lizwakala. Uzwa sengathi ulahlekelwa amandla ezocansi. Eqinisweni, lokhu kuyinto evamile: ukuphakama kobulili obuqinile kuneminyaka engama-30-33, futhi ngemva kweminyaka engu-37-40, ukwehla kwayo kwemvelo kuza. Kodwa lo wesilisa ukwesaba: "Kancane nje, futhi ngingumuntu omdala? Kodwa nami angizange ngiphile - njengalezi zincwadi abhalayo, njengasebhayisikobho ababonisayo. Yebo ngeke, ngizofakazela lokho engingakwenza. Kubalulekile ukuthola owesifazane onjalo, ukuze angihole! "Futhi kuqala konke kanzima. Kodwa indoda emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane isho ukuthi lo wesifazane wesifazane uyindoda nje kuphela, ngoba umkakhe ovumelekile uyajabula kakhulu naye - njengomngane weqiniso wokuphila, inkosikazi enhle, umama omuhle wezingane zakhe.
Ukuziphatha komuntu oshadile kusho ukukhuphuka ngokomoya, umuzwa omusha, uzizwa enhle. Uyazi ukuthi ucabangani ngalesi sikhathi? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu akafundi lutho. Ungumsebenzi omuhle, umyeni nobaba abanakekelayo. Futhi okuthakazelisa kakhulu, phakathi nalesi sikhathi angaba nobuhlobo obuhle kakhulu nomkakhe. Uyamnika izipho, amanga ekuseni, ahambe emsebenzini, amanga ebusuku, ngesikhathi ebuya emsebenzini, ebusuku - ubulili obuhle kakhulu. Uvuka, uyaphatha konke. Futhi lapho, futhi lapha. U-Hooray, uphinde uhlelekile - ujabule, uqinile, usemusha!
Nokho, ngelinye ilanga othile "uyangqongqoza" umkakhe. Futhi ubani owenza njalo? Nkosikazi. Yena emva kwakho konke njengoba ucabanga? "Umuntu omuhle, ohlakaniphile, lapho ehlangana nami, ngakho akayithandi umkakhe. Kumele sithathe! "... Yilokho iphuzu, ukuthi uyayithanda! Kuphela nje ukuthi isikhathi sakhe sibucayi kakhulu, kuhle, njengesivunguvungu sabesifazane ... Uma ukukhwabanisa kungavuli, ukungqubuzana akuzange kuqale, ngikholelwa, konke okusemndenini wakhe kuzoba kuhle. Futhi emva konyaka nengxenye, okungaphezulu kokubili, lokhu okungenasici okuvela enhlokweni yesilisa kwakuyohamba. Njengoba besho, wagijimela wagxila phansi. Yiqiniso, umfazi oqaphele angaqagela, abe nomuzwa wokuthi umyeni wakhe unomunye ohlangothini, kungenzeka ukuthi kunqume ukuthi yiziphi izindlela. Kodwa, mhlawumbe, kungcono ukuthi ungazi ngalokhu? Ngeshwa, siye safundiswa kusukela ebuntwaneni: iqiniso elibabazayo lingcono kunamanga amnandi. Ingabe kunjalo? Sijwayele konke, kuhlanganise ubudlelwane bomuntu, imizwa, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, ukuhamba ngezindinganiso ezinonya ezinamandla: omnyama nomhlophe, okulungile nokungalungile, okuhle nokubi. Uthembekile kusho ukuthi uyakuthanda. I-infidel isho umthengisi, u-scoundrel. Futhi azikho ezinye izinketho? ..
Yini esingayenza kubesifazane?
Ngalesi sikhathi, amadoda emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane kumele wonke alungele, ngoba wonke umuntu uzosinda. Ingxenye kuphela "yezisulu" azi lutho ngakho. Ngiyazi izibonelo lapho, ngemva kokuba abesifazane besifazane abangamashumi amane beqala ukuhlambalaza, futhi lokhu kwenzeke kahle, omunye angase athi, imindeni eyisibonelo. Futhi emindenini efanayo, emehlweni ami, "amadoda", okwamanje kuze kube manje abhekwa njengabayeni abayisibonelo, "ngokuthula" bezulazula ngokuthula. Futhi konke lokho ekugcineni kwaphela. Yiqiniso, uma "umuntu omuhle" engazange abike kumkakhe noma kumyeni wakhe.
Ungacabangi nje ukuthi ngiyafakazela ukuphinga nokuthi kufanele nje ngiyeke. Cha, ekucindezelekeni nasezindlini zemikhaya ukungahambi. Kodwa lokhu kungenziwa kanjani? Ake sicabange - indoda ingathanda ukuthini, uma umkakhe ezwa ngezenzo zakhe? Kuye ngemuva komnyango ovaliwe uhlele ukuhlelwa phansi, ukuhlambalaza, ngisho noma bebegqoke imbobo yabo, kodwa kuphela ababengeke bathathe ilineni elingcolile ngaphandle kwendlu. Ukuthi wathi: "Yebo, nginecala, ngeke ngiphinde ngisenze." Ngikholelwa, engxenyeni yemindeni esimweni esifanayo futhi uyenze. Futhi iyanqamuka ngempela. Kodwa abesifazane abaningi benza ngokuhlukile. Bese bazisola ngakho.
Kunombono wokuthi owesifazane emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane, uma efuna ukuhlala ekhangele umyeni wakhe, kufanele uqaphele kakhulu isibalo, uqiniseke, ugqoke izingubo zangaphansi ezingenangqondo nokunye. Khona-ke indoda ngeke ibuke enye. Akukho lutho. Empeleni, owesifazane kufanele amlandele njalo, ngenxa yokuzihlonipha yena. Kodwa ukuguqula ekuziphatheni okukhulu kungenangqondo. Inkanyezi ye-movie, u-Elina Bystritskaya, naye washintsha umyeni wakhe emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane nanhlanu, futhi ungowesifazane omuhle. Indoda ifuna nje ezinye izinzwa, bese kungabi khona isithombe esihle noma ingubo yokugqoka engamlondolozi iyomsindisa - uzophuma kulokhu kumnandi kumfazi olula. Futhi hhayi iqiniso lokuthi kuncane. Uzoya kwesinye. Yiyiphi? Futhi kaningi indoda ayinandaba, ngakho-ke, asho ukuthi, kumuntu onethezekayo: umphathi, ohlinzeka ngendlu yakhe emihlanganweni, engadingi kakhulu ... Ngemuva kwalokho konke, indoda eshadile emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane ingaphoqelekile ukuba ihlukane, ukuchitha imali eningi. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane abanjalo "baseceleni kwakho", emsebenzini. Futhi-ke, zikhona eziningi kakhulu namuhla - zodwa, zinganeliseki, zilangazelela uthando lomuntu, ngakho-ke zilungele ukukhululeka.
Phuma noma uthethelele?
Futhi nansi umbuzo: uyenze kanjani umfazi, uma ezwa ngokukhashelwa komyeni wakhe? Ngeshwa, abesifazane, ngokusemthethweni, baqala "ukuphula izinkuni": ukuhlambalaza, ukuya kumsebenzi osebenzayo, kumama, izintombi, bayaqonda ukuthi lo wesifazane ... Futhi ngale ndlela baveza umyeni oyisiphukuphuku, u-scoundrel. Futhi isondo liphendukile phansi! ... Umfazi othukile futhi okhubekile ubonisa ukuthi "umthengisi" emnyango, umthumelele ukuba ahlale nomama wakhe, amshayela ukuba alale embhedeni, ulindele ukuba amgibele ngamadolo ayoxolisa ... Noma yena ngokwakhe ukhazimula izinwele zenkosikazi yakhe. Ngenxa yalokho, ngenxa yokungalingani komfazi, umndeni uhlakazeka. Yebo, njengomthetho, isikhathi esiningi umshado uhlukana ngaphandle kokungathembeki komyeni wakhe, kodwa ngenxa yokuziphatha okubi komkakho emva kokuba ukuboshwa kuvuliwe.
Into yokuqala owesifazane okufanele akwenze esimweni esinjalo ukuvala umlomo wakhe enqabeni. Umyeni uzojabula kakhulu ngokuthi umkakhe uziphatha ngokuhlakanipha. Yebo, ubulungisa buyoqhubeka uma "kungabonakali kumncane kuye", kodwa, njengoba ngibhale kakade, yonke imizwelo isendlini yami, ngemuva komnyango ovaliwe. Futhi ngokuqala - ukuvala umlomo wakho wonke umuntu: omakhelwane, ozakwabo, izintombi, abangane bomndeni ngisho nabazali bakho. Umyeni wami usenamahloni kakade ngomkakhe nezingane, akafuni ukukwahlulelwa (nokuhlekwa) ngokukhanya okumhlophe okuphelele.
Yilokho ongaba umlingani othembekile, ngakho-ke ... umkhwekazi wami. Yebo, yebo, okokuqala ngeke afune ukuhlaselwa. Uyoba namahloni phambi kwabantu ngokuziphatha komuntu oshadile - indodana yakhe. Okwesibili, uzwela ngabazukulu bakhe. Futhi, okwesithathu, umane uzwela ngazo zonke izinto ezinhle, ukusebenza kwakhe nemali ayitshale kulo mndeni. Yiqiniso, uzothi kumalokazana: "Yona iphutha lakhe - umyeni wakhe akahambanga kumfazi omuhle" (futhi, lapho ekhona ithuba, uzokhumbula futhi izikhathi ezingamashumi amabili), kodwa umsebenzi wakhe ozoqedela uzogcwaliseka-isibalo sendodana yakhe siyongosheza: "U-Er, yebo, Yebo, bonke kubaba wakhe! Ngizokubonisa uthando! .. "Futhi uBaba uzokululeka ngokuthula:" Ndodana, ungabi yisithukuthezi, ungalokothi ushiye umndeni wakho! Ngikholelwa, abesifazane bahluke ngokuphelele, futhi abafazi bafana. "
Ngokuvamile umfazi okhohlisayo uphazamisa isimo esisodwa - ukungabi khona kolwazi olumayelana nomphikisi. Ngakho-ke, okwesibili, okuyinto efiselekayo ukwenza "isisulu", ukuthola ulwazi. Indoda akufanele ivivinywe ngaphandle - ngeke ikhulume iqiniso: uyodonsa futhi afihle emaphethelweni emanzini. Futhi ngokufanelekile: kumele aziphike ekugcineni futhi angasho okungaphezu kwalokho umkakhe azi. Noma ngokushesha uguqe ngamadolo akho ufunge ukuthi akayazi ukuthi kuvele kanjani, ukuthi wadukiswa ngokweqile, wadakwa, wadutshulwa ... Lokhu, ngendlela, kuyindlela elula kunazo zonke futhi ewinayo yokungaxhunyiwe.
Kodwa umkakhe akazi lutho - owesabekayo: yilo indlela yokulwa nesitha esibukiwe. Lapha udinga umuntu onokwethenjelwa ozokhanyisa kodwa okwamanje angeke aphule imfihlakalo "ezweni lonke ekusithekeni". Ngingayitholaphi? Kubalulekile ukubheka phakathi kwabalingani bomyeni wakhe owesifazane ohloniphekile oneminyaka yobudala. Njengomthetho, ukuphinga kozakwethu akuyona imfihlo. Nguyena kuphela umfazi ohlala ethola okokugcina.
Futhi, ekugcineni, umfazi wathola konke. Yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo? Umbuso wesithathu: kunoma yikuphi, ungahambisani nomphikisi! Okokuqala, uma uya kumuntu ozobuza noma ofuna okuthile, usuvele ulahlekelwa. Okwesibili, kuze kube yilapho umkakhe ebona indlovu yomyeni wakhe - ngoba yonke into ayibonakali, i-semireal, ayibuhlungu kakhulu. Futhi uma ebona umphikisi ngokuqondile, imizwa iqala: noma leyo enhle futhi encane, futhi lokhu kuyamcasula - "Ngichitha intsha yakhe kuye, futhi yena! .."; futhi uma lokho kungumdala futhi kungenhle kangaka, kuyaduduza - "obani engitshengise yona?". Ngezinye izikhathi, ngithukuthele, ngifuna ukudonsa izinwele zami. Futhi lokhu kulahlekelwa ngamaphesenti angukhulu. Ngakho-ke, akudingekile ukuya kumncintiswano ukuqonda. Futhi ngokuvamile, kuyoba udumo olukhulu kuye!
Kulesi simo, owesifazane okhuthazela kakhulu, ohlakaniphile kanye nobuqili besifazane uyowina. Uma umyeni ebiza, umfazi kufanele athi kuye: "Uyamthanda, hamba, kodwa uyazi: Ngiyakuthanda futhi, angikwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwakho, ngoba ungukuphila kwami konke." Umthetho wegolide: uma ufuna ukugodla - vumela uhambe. Kodwa kunoma yikuphi okusemandleni awukwazi ukuxosha umyeni ngokwakhe! Othandekayo besifazane, unganiki muntu lapha ngokulula, eshisayo, ebubini, ngokusebenzisa ubuwula babayeni bawo! Ngisho noma umphefumulo ngalesosikhathi ungenakubekezelelwa, ungasheshi ukuwunquma. Lalela ngokucophelela umyeni (indoda, hhayi abantu abangabazi), cabanga futhi uyiqonde. Futhi ukuqonda ukuthethelela.
Futhi ekugcineni: uma uqaphelisisa omunye nomunye, uma ungadluliseli lonke uthando nokukhathalela izingane, umsebenzi, izintombi, izilwane, ukuzijabulisa, imfashini, ezombusazwe, ezemidlalo, uNkulunkulu uyazi ukuthi yini enye, uma ungafaki ohlwini lwabantu abathandekayo bakho, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi idemoni, egoqa emaphethelweni, ngeke liphumelele. Futhi uhlolisise ukuziphatha komuntu oshadile emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane nje akudingeki.