Kuyaziwa ukuthi amadoda alwela umshado womphakathi. Njengoba besaba ukulahlekelwa ukuzimela kwabo, badumisa "ubudlelwane bekhululekile, ubuciko obamukelekile emhlabeni wonke." Abesifazane bakwedlula isitembu esithobekile kuma-passports abo. "Uyayishintsha ini?" Ukhala ngokufutheka. Uzophendula, angiphenduli, angakwazi ukuchaza izizathu zothando lwakhe ngezitembu. Unecala lokuthola intuition. Owesifazane, ngisho noma engazijwayele ngokuphelele imithetho, uzizwa ekhohlisayo enhliziyweni yakhe, elele emshadweni wamahhala.
Umshado wabantu wazalwa eNetherlands ngekhulu le-16. Abantu bezinkolo ezahlukene babengakwazi ukushada futhi izinyunyana ezinjalo amandla afanelekile. Namuhla, ngokuphambene nalokho, umshado ongabhalisiwe, ngisho nangemva komshado, uthathwa njengombuso.
ENtshonalanga, umshado womphakathi usetshenziswe isikhathi eside. Muva nje, ubuhlobo obunjalo buyathandwa kithi. Imibhangqwana eningi iyakholelwa ukuthi ngaphambi kwehhovisi lokubhalisa kubalulekile ukuhlala ndawonye, ukubheka kancane, ukuzama kumlingani ozayo.
Ubuhlobo obunjalo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, bunamathuba amaningi. Inkululeko - engokwengqondo kanye neyodokhumenti, ukwandiswa kwesikhathi sothando, ithuba lokuba lula kalula. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umshado womphakathi unesiqu esiphezulu. Futhi abakhathazekile ngothando. Njengoba umshado onjalo ungaqashelwa ngumthetho, uma kwenzeka "isehlukaniso", amahabhinethi angenawo amalungelo angokomthetho womhlaba ohlangene. Isibonelo, uma umfazi wezakhamuzi engasebenzi, futhi waholela epulazini, ngemuva kokuhlukanisa "nomyeni", wayengase abe nomgwaqo kalula. Yikuphi okwafika - ngalokhu futhi kwesokunxele-isiqubulo somshado womphakathi. Futhi amadoda "enjalo" isahlukaniso, njengomthetho, abahlupheki. Bathola imali, impahla ehlangene, izindlu, njll. Akumangalisi ukuthi balwela kangaka inkululeko kusuka ezitembu! Owesifazane uhlala engasebenzi.
ENtshonalanga, umshado womphakathi ngumqondo wezomthetho. E-United States, owesifazane oye waba nesimo esifanayo angafaka isimangalo sokuqashelwa kokubambisana ngomshado. Njengoba efakazele amaqiniso okuhlala isikhathi eside, ukubukeka ndawonye emphakathini, ubudlelwano bocansi, uthola amalungelo omfazi ovumelekile. E-Dominican Republic, uma abantu behlala ndawonye iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-4, banelungelo lokubamba impahla njengomlingani. Futhi eFrance, izakhamuzi zingaphetha isivumelwano sokubambisana komphakathi, okuchaza ubudlelwane bomhlaba.
Kuthiwani ngathi? Endabeni yomshado osemthethweni, konke kucacile. Ikhodi Yomndeni ivikela abashadile futhi, uma kwenzeka isehlukaniso, bobabili bathola isigamu sendawo. Yini okufanele uyenze uma kwenzeka umshado ongafanele? Mhlawumbe, ukukhipha inkontileka yomshado?
Isigaba 40 se-Code Family sithi: "Inkontileka yomshado yisivumelwano esiphakathi kwezakhamizi ukushada, noma ngokushada ngokomthetho, ukulawula ubuhlobo babo bempahla ngesikhathi sokuhlanganyela, kanye nokuhlukanisa." Ehunyushwe ngolimi lomuntu, lokhu kusho ukuthi kuphela abashadile abavunyelwe ukungena enkonzweni yomshado. Ngisho noma le dokhumenti isayinwe ngaphambi komshado, iyoqala ukusebenza kuphela ngesikhathi sesiteleka sesitembu epasipoti. Abashadile abanesidlangalaleni abanalo ilungelo lokungenela inkontileka yomshado.
Ngokusho kwamahemuhemu, umbono womthetho obeka isimo somshado womphakathi uhambela engqondweni yamaphini ethu. Kodwa ngenkathi ingazange igcwaliseke, abameli bayeluleka lokhu okulandelayo.
Uma abashade bomshado benento yokuhlanganyela lapho kwenzeka ukuhlukaniswa, kufanele uqaphele lokhu kusengaphambili. Okufanayo - gcina i-accounting eningiliziwe, lungisa zonke izindleko, ukuthenga. Kungcono ukubhalisa impahla ejwayelekile kubunikazi obelwe noma obambene. Kulesi simo, kukhona ithuba lokuzibophezela. Labo abangayinaki lesi seluleko futhi emva "kwehlukaniso" bazozama ukufakazela ukuthi amalungelo abo kuleyo ndawo bayodumazeka. Ayikho isimangalo esinjalo enkantolo yaseRussia engakanqobe, nakuba kube khona ukuzama.
Njengoba ubona, intuition yabesifazane ayikhohlisi. Umshado womshado ugcwele ubuqili obukhulu. Futhi isitembu epasipoti sinokwethenjelwa ngokwengeziwe!
Futhi manje iseluleko esithile kulabo abafuna ukuphendukela kumfazi womphakathi abe ngumfazi osemthethweni. Okokuqala, sizonquma amathuba akho wokuwina.
Isimo sisokuqala: uhlala ndawonye iminyaka engaphansi kweminyaka emine.
Lesi simo sizuzisa kakhulu kunombono wezazi zengqondo. Unethuba elikhulu lokuzwa imakethe kaMendelssohn. Okokuqala, ngoba uthando lokuqala lusesaphila, futhi okokuqala ngqa "ukugaya" usudlulile ngokuphepha, ngaleyo ndlela uqinisekise ukuthi ungakwazi ukuhlala ngokuphelele ensimini eyodwa. Zizwe ukhululekile ukuqala ukucubungula umlingani womuntu ngenhloso yokwenza ubuhlobo. Lesi yisikhathi esifanelekayo - indoda iyaqaphela ukuthi ithole eyedwa kuphela, yenza isiqiniseko sokuthi ukuhlala ndawonye kuhle, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo akazange alahlekelwe imizwa yothando . Unayo yonke ithuba lokuba umfazi!
Isimo sesibili: uhlala iminyaka engaphezu kwemine futhi awunazo izingane.
Kule nkathi, ngokwezengqondo ze-psychologists, ukudumazeka kokuqala nokuhloniphana "ngokukhanya kwangempela." Mane nje, amehlo e-pink aphuma emehlweni futhi ubona oshade naye kuyo yonke inkazimulo yayo. Njengomthetho, abesifazane abamukela ngokuthula ngokukhululekile, bafuna ukushada. Kuhlukile namadoda. Kule "sikhathi" uzoba nzima kakhulu ukukholisa umyeni womuntu ukuba ahlele umshado. Uhlala nawe kakade futhi unakho konke akufunayo - owesifazane wakhe othandekayo eduze kwakhe, indlela ahlala ngayo ... nepasipoti yakhe ehlanzekile. Okwamanje, izingxabano ezingunaphakade ziqala esihlokweni esithi: "Uju, uzokwenzela ukuthini lesi sitembu?" Unamathuba, kodwa kufanele uphuthumele.
Isimo sesithathu: uhlala isikhathi esidlule futhi unezingane.
Empeleni, awudingi iseluleko sethu. Lokhu kuyisinqumo sakho sokuzikhethela futhi ngokuqinisekile usuvele uvumile nomyeni wakho ukuthi "isitembu asiniki lutho." Kule "sikhathi" lo wesifazane uziqinisekisile ngezinzuzo zomshado wamahhala futhi uzama ukusakaza. Lena uhlobo lokuziphendulela kokuzivikela kwe-psyche. Amathuba okudala umshado osemthethweni cishe ayitholakali - ngenxa yokuntuleka kwesifiso sabo bobabili abathintekayo.
Manje njengoba sesinqume ngamathuba okuba umshado ohleliwe, ake siqhubeke nezeluleko ezisebenzayo. Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele uyenze uma uphupha mayelana nesigqoko seveli nesigqila somshado, futhi umyeni wakho ukutshela mayelana nesimanje somshado womphakathi?
Kuye ngesimo sekhethiweyo wakho, khetha inqubo efanele:
Indoda enomoya omnene ingathelwa ngezinyembezi, inkulumo ephuphayo yomshado noma i-honeymoon.
Oshade naye onengqondo enengqondo angafakwa konke ngokuhlelekile. Masifunde lesi sihloko esingenhla, isibonelo. Ngitshele ukuthi ufuna ukuzizwa uvikelekile. Amadoda afana nokuma ukuvikela abesifazane abuthakathaka.
Umuntu othintekayo ngemibono yabanye angathathwa kulokhu - yini izihlobo, abajwayele, ozakwabo abathi? Ngendlela, umsebenzi uphumelela kakhulu ngamadoda ashadile futhi kungenzeka ukuthi aqashwe. Phela, ukutholakala kwesitembu kubonisa amandla okuba nomthwalo wemfanelo kwabanye. Kunokuba kungabi ngxabano?
Yiqiniso, ukukhishwa kwempahla ethintekayo kulesi sihloko kuyinto enhle kakhulu, futhi umuntu kumele abe nokudla okungavamile ukuze angabi namahloni lapho ekhuluma nomyeni wakhe. Kodwa empeleni singabesifazane! Mtshele ukuthi uyamthanda kakhulu, ukuthi ufuna ukuthwala igama lakhe, ubelethe izingane zakhe. Yebo, enye yezindlela eziphumelelayo zokuthola indoda ukushada ukulahla ukuzala kuze kube ngumshado. Ngakho ngitshele - Angifuni ukuba izingane zami zingashadile! Lapha angisona isimanje, futhi iphuzu. Noma yimuphi umuntu ovamile ufuna izingane ezithandwayo. Uma ungathandi lokho, kufanelekile ucabange ukuthi wenze kahle yini.
Uma ingane isivele ikhona, kunzima kakhulu. Ngoba awunakho ukumboza - usuvele unikeze umyeni wakho konke ongakwenza. Kodwa-ke, obaba abaningi "bomphakathi" emva kokuzalwa kwengane yokuqala bavumelana nesitembu epasipoti yabo. Into eyinhloko, futhi, akufanele iphuthelwe isikhathi lapho ubaba osanda kuzalwa ethinteka khona iphuzu lokungcola. Ungachaza ukuthi inqubo yesikhathi esizayo yokwamukelwa kwengane yakho ingukuhlanya okuhlanzekile - futhi ngaphansi kwalesi shinti uzothola isitembu esithakazelisayo.
Uma umyeni wakho wesilisa engenqabe ukushada, kodwa nje ukuhola ngekhala ngezithembiso ezingenalutho, ukubeka isitembu esikhathini esizayo - futhi lokhu kuyindlela ethandekayo yindoda - ungadikibali. Ungakwazi ukusiza izihlobo zomyeni wakhe. Yebo, yebo, kungcono ukuba nobuhlobo benobungane nesihlobo esizayo. Uma uphatha ukuhlela umamazala wakho, qiniseka ukuthi uzokwenza konke indodana yakhe ikushade naye. Ikakhulukazi, uma uzovakashela lokho okufunayo ngempela, kodwa awukwazi ukuzala abazukulu abangakazalwa. Ngaphansi kokucindezelwa kwabesifazane ababili abathandekayo, inqaba yokuzimela kwesilisa ngokuqinisekile iyowa.
Uma unenhlanhla ngezihlobo zakho, noma umyeni wakho enenkani kakhulu, futhi engavumelani ukushada nganoma iyiphi indlela, kufanele ukhumbule ngefilosofi. Akukho lutho kuleli zwe olwenzeka ngengozi. Futhi uma umshado wakho ungahlali, mhlawumbe kungcono kakhulu? Mhlawumbe isiphetho sikulungiselele enye indoda, kanti ngenkathi ulwela isitembu, isigamu sakho sikufunayo emhlabeni jikelele? Ngandlela-thile, noma ngabe awuyena isazi sefilosofi, ngineluleka ukuba wabelane ngalezi zizindlo nendoda. Mtshele indaba yentombazane ehlala emishadweni yomphakathi, futhi ukubonga uNkulunkulu ukuthi abazange bashade, ngoba wayevele ethandana ... Kubantu, lezi zindaba zenza njenge-ammonia. Ngoba naphezu kokuthi "umshado wamahhala" amadoda ahlala e-proprietors.
Okokugcina - ufisa abafazi bomphakathi abazayo. Ukuze ubheke omunye nomunye emshadweni womphakathi, akukho okuyihlazo. Kuzoqinisa ngisho inyunyana yakho uma wenza ngokuhlakanipha kusukela ekuqaleni. Ngaphambi kokuthi uvumelane "uhlala ndawonye", cacisa isikhathi. Hlela ekuqaleni, ukuthi uma konke kuhamba kahle, uzoshada ezinyangeni eziyisithupha, isibonelo. Kulesi simo, uzoba nekhalenda ngesimo sezwi lomuntu othembekile. Futhi ungacabangi ukuthi ukukhuluma ngomshado kusabisa amadoda. Yebo, bawaqaphela, lokhu kungokwemvelo, kodwa bevuma ukuhlala ndawonye , noma yikuphi umuntu oqonda ukuthi uzokwakha umndeni - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungaqondanga kahle - ngakho ngesibindi umemezela isifiso sakhe sokushintsha igama lakhe emva kwesikhathi esithile. Inhlanhla!