Ungathanda kanjani intombazane endala kunakho

"Uthando lwawo wonke ubudala luyazithoba," kusho lo mkhakha. Umlando uyazi izibonelo eziningi zokuthandana okuhle phakathi kwamadoda nabesifazane abanomthelela omkhulu weminyaka. Futhi owesifazane owayekubo wayemdala kakhulu kunokhethiweyo wakhe.

Isibonelo, izindaba zothando zikaNapoleon Bonaparte noJosephine Beauharnais, abadala kunomlingani wabo nomkakhe iminyaka engu-7, u-Diana de Poitiers noHenry II, umehluko phakathi kwabo wawuneminyaka engama-20. Imibhangqwana eminingi yenkanyezi ingatholakala phakathi kwezinkanyezi zaseHollywood - uDemi Moore no-Ashton Kutcher, umlingisi omuhle u-Antonio Banderas nomkakhe uMelanie Griffith, nezinkanyezi zaseRussia zivame ukuhlanganisa ukuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane kakhulu futhi hhayi kakhulu kakhulu.

Noma kunjalo, naphezu kwalesi simo, ngokuvamile kuvamile abesifazane abancinyane kunokhethiweyo wabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abesifazane abaningi abaqapheli ukuqala ubudlelwano namadoda, abancane ngokwanele. Kunezizathu eziningi zokwesaba lokhu - ukwesaba ukuthi umfana uzoba nomoya ogcwele futhi okhululekile, ukuthi ekugcineni uzophuza, abuyele kwelinye, anikezwe yizinkolelo zomphakathi, izeluleko zezintombi ukuthi zingasetshisi amandla "ohlaza okwesibhakabhaka" njll.

Ngokwethembeka, kubalulekile ukuthi abantu abaningi besabe abesifazane asebekhulile. Angazi ukuthi ungasondela kanjani kubo, ukuthi ungadonsela kanjani ukunakwa kwabo abadala. Kulesi sihloko, sizozama ukusiza labo abacindezelwe imizwa yamantombazane asebekhulile, bese uphendula umbuzo - ukuthi ungathanda kanjani intombazane endala kunawe?

Isivinini sokuxhumana phakathi kwabantu singanqotshwa kalula ngosizo lwehlaya elihle kanye nengxoxo enobungane. Ikakhulukazi, abesifazane, njengoba niyazi, bathanda izindlebe. Ngakho gcina ama-anecdotes amasha amasha (hhayi nje ama-vulgar ones), futhi ngokujwayelekile azama ukuba yingxoxo yokuthakazelisa. Empeleni, intombazane endala akufani nakwezinye izithunywa zabesifazane. Yiqiniso, kungavinjelwa kakhulu uma kuqhathaniswa neontanga zakho, okungathí sina futhi okunomthwalo wemfanelo, okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlangenwe nakho, okubandakanya ekubhekeni kombhede, futhi, njengoba kuvame ukubonwa ngamadoda, okuthakazelisayo ekukhulumisaneni. Lo mkhuba, ngendlela, ngokuvamile udlala indima enkulu ekukhetheni umngane wokuphila. Lawa mantombazane ahlose ukuhamba nokuphila futhi azi kahle ukuthi yini ayifunayo kuye. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kudala ngokwengeziwe, futhi udinga ukuthola isithombe sengqondo sezinto ozizwayo ngokwakho.

Ngakho-ke, uthanda kanjani intombazane endala kunawe? Ngokuvamile, abesifazane ngokuvamile bathanda amadoda avuthiwe - ngomqondo omuhle wegama. Zama ukuzithoba kakhudlwana, ulahle ukufutheka kwentsha (nakuba amanye amantombazane afana nalesi sici kakhulu), kholisa intombazane ukuthi imizwa yakho ngokujulile futhi ithatha indawo ekhethekile enhliziyweni yakho. Khumbula, noma yimuphi owesifazane, kungakhathaliseki ubudala, amaphupho ahlukile futhi ahlukile. Azikho izingxoxo mayelana nezintombi zangaphambili: usukhohliwe isikhathi eside ngazo, futhi ungabhekene nendoda yangempela ukuze uhlabelele ngezindaba zabo ezimnandi. Qaphela kakhulu ukuthi ukhuluma ngomsebenzi, ukhulume ngempumelelo yakho yomsebenzi, amapulani, impumelelo - intombazane kufanele iqonde ukuthi ngaphambi kokuba engekho owesifazane osemusha osemusha, kodwa ungumuntu osemusha ongayethemba. Kodwa-ke, ungahambi kakhulu ne-odes yokudumisa ekhelini lakho - "Amapontees" angase avunyelwe kunokuba aphikisiwe. Qaphela ukubukeka kwakho - kufanele kube kuhle futhi kuhlanzekile. Jabulela amakha amahle amahle - abesifazana bafuna kakhulu iphunga elimnandi. Ngelinye igama, bheka ukuthi ungathanda ukuthinta. Engxoxweni ungakhohlwa ukukhokha okunye kumngane wakho, ube nesithakazelo empilweni yakhe, izinto zokuzilibazisa, izinhlelo, njll Ngendlela, ukuzilibazisa okuvamile kuseduze kakhulu. Uma intombazane yakho ithanda ukudansa, ungase ubhalise eqenjini lokudansa, ngakho-ke uzoba nethuba elikhulu lokumbona nokuxhumana kaningi.

Bese-ke uxoxe naye ngokuthi iyiphi indawo ayithatha empilweni yakho, njengoba uyayiqonda ... Mane ungahlakazeki ngemizwa yakho isikhathi eside. Uma intombazane yakho iqala ukukhuluma ngokuzumayo, khona-ke yimani futhi nilalele. Mtshele mayelana nesihawu sakho futhi unikeze ukuhlangabezana. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ungazicimi. Iminyaka engu-2-3 akuyona umahluko nhlobo, ikakhulukazi kusukela ububanzi beminyaka abuzwa sengathi abuzwa. Qhubeka, kodwa unobtrusive, ungabonakali, qiniseka! Bamba ngesithunzi, menze azi ukuthi ungumuntu ohlakaniphile futhi unethemba!

Ekugcineni, engazi lutho, wonke owesifazane ungumama, futhi kudingeka aqiniseke ukuthi unesisekelo sangempela empilweni! Ungazami ukubonakala sengathi ipholile epholile! Yiba ngokwakho! Uma ebuza: "Wenzani?", Ungalokothi uphendule "lutho". Njalo uthi umatasa ngento ethile. Lokhu kuzokukwenza emehlweni akhe athakazelise kakhulu. Gwema ukubunjwa: "Kuthiwani ngokunginika inombolo yakho?". Zama kunokusebenzisa into efana nale: "Ngingathanda ukukhuluma nawe futhi, kungenzeka?". Ukwelashwa okunjalo njalo kunikeza imiphumela engcono, njengoba kunciphisa ikhono lokuphendula kuwe ngenqatshwa, ngoba kuzozwakala kunesithukuthezi. Njalo ulalele futhi ubuke konke okuthandayo intombazane yakho. Ukuqeqeshwa okunjalo kuzokutshela ukuthi yikuphi isihloko ongakukhetha uma uzama ukuqala ingxoxo nommeleli wesigamu esihle sabantu ozithandayo. Kuyintokwanekwane evamile ukuthi ukuze uphumelele, udinga ukusondela kowesifazane ngokushesha lapho umbona. Yiqiniso, lapho amakhono akho okukhulumisana ethuthuka, ungazithola kalula ngezindlela ezingavamile zokuthandana usebenzisa i-improvisation. Kodwa kuyilapho kungcono ukuthutha ngokucophelela futhi kancane kancane, kungesabi ukwesaba futhi ungaxoshe into yesifiso sakho.

Uma konke kuhamba kahle, futhi ekugcineni ube nokuphindaphindiwe, ungakhohlwa ngezibonakaliso ezimnandi zokunakekelwa - izimbali zeqhwa ezinhlobonhlobo kwentwasahlobo, izipho, isimo sengqondo esibucayi.
Ubudlelwano obunomfazi omdala obuningi bunezinzuzo zabo: ngakho uzokhula ngokushesha futhi ube nkulu kakhulu, futhi ngokomzimba wesifazane unesisindo somsebenzi wocansi esifundeni seminyaka engama-30, ngoba abesilisa kule minyaka baqala ukwehla ngokocansi kancane kancane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokwezibalo, abesifazane baphila isikhathi eside, ngakho-ke unethuba lokufa ndawonye ngosuku olulodwa.