Kulula futhi kumnandi ukuxhumana nentombazane enjalo, ngaphezu kwalokho, balungele ukuthethelela ama-pranks amancane njengama-socks ahlakazekile nekomishi elingagcoziwe, kodwa kukhona izinto ezingeke zibekezelele. Ngakho-ke, sikhuluma ngani?
Ukomisa ngokomzwelo
Uma umuntu ngaleso sikhathi ekhishwa, uzenza sengathi akukho lutho olwenzekayo, khona-ke "ibhisikidi" elinjalo ngokomzwelo lingathethelela yilowo nalowo. Okubi nakakhulu, uma kuleso simo usebenza njenge-provocateur, wenze noma yiziphi izimangalo, ngokuzithandela noma ngokungazami ukuzama ukuveza ukungqubuzana.
Uma umuntu akakwazanga ukwanelisa isifiso somfazi sokusekelwa ngokomzwelo, khona-ke akukho lutho okumelwe lusekelwe kuye. Owesifazane wedwa kufanele aqonde ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuthi akwazi ukulungisa lesi simo-lo muntu ukhulelwe futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubani obeka isandla sakhe kuso, abazali noma impilo ngokwayo imphoqele ukuba ibe "ibhasikidi".
Yiqiniso, kukhona okuhlukile. Isibonelo, insizwa efana nendoda ichitha isikhathi nentombazane, kepha ukuyivakashela lapho igula, yesaba, ngoba ihlala nabazali bayo. Lapha owesifazane usuvele ezama ukuzinquma ukuthi udinga yini i-cavalier enamahloni.
Ukuhlaselwa
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu uphazamisekile, uphuze kakhulu, ukhathele noma usesimweni esicindezelekile, akanalo ilungelo lokuphakamisa isandla sakhe ngokumelene nowesifazane. Futhi akudingekile nhlobo ukuba angene empini-ukuphula i-idyll inamandla okushaya noma amazwi ahlambalazayo. Ngokwemvelo, uma kuzikhathi ezinjalo ubudlelwane beqa, akunakwenzeka ukubiza abantu ababili abanjalo okuhle. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, amazwi anjalo awaxolelwe ngabesifazane bonke. Futhi ingabe kunomqondo wokuthethelela, uma ngabe usho igama elibi, nokunye ukukhahlela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuvamise ukuphenduka umuntu ongeke azizwe ekhukhumezekile, abe ohlukumezi ne-despot, ongakwazi ukubiza kuphela owesifazane, kodwa futhi obangela ukulimala komzimba okungathí sina.
Abadingi ukulahlekelwa
Ngemuva kwakho konke uhlangane namadoda ukuthi, kuzo zonke izinkinga zabo, asola umuntu noma ubani, kodwa hhayi wona? Futhi isimo sesimo sezulu sibavimbela ukuba benze okuthile, futhi umphathi kumele abekwe icala lokuthi abazange baphakamise umholo, abazange bakhulise umholo, futhi izingane azizange zinikezwe umvuzo, ngoba aziqapheli ukumlalela. Ngokwemvelo, owesifazane ohlala naye noma ohlangana naye ukusola ezinye zezono. Ingabe lolu hlobo lokuziphatha lufanelwe indoda yangempela futhi kufanelekile ukuba lihlazeke, lingene njalo ngokungahambi kahle kokuphila? Kusobala ukuthi akuvamile ukuba owesifazane amelane nokucindezela okunjalo kokungabi nandaba. Futhi kufanele?
Abalahlekelwa labesifazane yibo abaye bashushumbisa iseli futhi abonakalisi isifiso sokushintsha noma yini ekuphileni kwabo ngendlela engcono. Ukulala embhedeni, ongenawo umsebenzi othakazelisayo, izinto zokuzilibazisa, izinhlelo zomuntu siqu nezomsebenzi, kunzima indoda ukuba ibizwe ngokuthi yindoda ephumelelayo, okuzobekwa kuyo abesifazane abahamba phambili. Amadoda anjalo, asebenze iminyaka engama-20 endaweni eyodwa, amapulani angewona okwakhiwa kwesikhathi esizayo, ehlukumeza ngokuzama ukuzama ukuwavimbela futhi asebenze ngaphezu kwenkokhelo encane, angeke abe nethemba lokuba nomfazi ophupha eceleni kwabo.
Uthembisiwe? Ngakho, yenzani!
Ukubusa kwegolide, okusho ukuthi indoda kufanele ibe nesibopho samazwi akhe, isebenza ebuhlotsheni nabesifazane. Uma ummeli wesondo oqinile esithembisa isigamu sakhe ukuthi uzochitha amaholidi kaMeyi ngaphansi kwelanga elifudumele laseTurkey, kodwa kuze kufike ngoMeyi 1 kuneviki, futhi hhayi kuphela lokho, akukho ngisho nepasipoti, ngisho nepasipoti, ecacile ukuthi owesifazane uzozizwa kanjani kuleli cala. Umuntu ofanelekayo kufanele aqonde ukuthi uma engakwazi ukufeza isithembiso, akufanele anikezwe.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, le ndlela kufanele ilandelwe ngokuphathelene nanoma yisiphi isimo. Ngakho-ke, uma owesifazane phakathi nezinyanga eziyisithupha ezwa ukuhlukunyezwa kokubopha ishalofu ekamelweni lokulala, esikhathini esizayo ukubekezela kwakhe kuzothuthuka, owesifazane we-imam kuzodingeka akhonze ishalafu endlini evele ingenalutho, elindele ukuthi owesifazane oyedwa ophumelelayo uzomlonda wakhe omuhle.
Yiqiniso, uma isicelo singenakwenziwa ngenxa ye-fore-majjeure - lokhu kuyinto eyodwa, kodwa njengendlela yokubonisa umkhuba, ezimweni eziningi, ukuqubuka akukwenziwa ngenxa yokungamhloniphi umlingani noma uvila. Futhi lokhu kugcwele ama-scandals.
Esikhathini esidlule, sigcwele ubumnyama
Uma kumuntu oneminyaka engama-90 oshayela imali ehola imali ngendlela evumelekile, unomfazi owayengumfazi oneminyaka emibili ubudala, wasebenzisa utshwala, wazama izidakamizwa futhi wanquma ngezivivinyo ezingokwemvelo zocansi, kungcono ukutshela lona wesifazane wakhe wamanje. Ngaphandle kwalokho kungenziwa omunye umuntu futhi kuyoba nzima ukulondoloza ubuhlobo.
Yiqiniso, akufanele ubeke yonke imininingwane ye-biography yakho ngosuku lwakho lokuqala, kodwa uma unquma ngokuzizwa okunzulu, umuntu wesibili kufanele azi imininingwane yempilo yakhe yangaphambilini. I-Pravdacan iphinda ibhubhise ubuhlobo, kodwa uma owesifazane esamukela umuntu futhi exolela zonke izono ezedlule, ubuhlobo obuvela kulokhu buzozuza kuphela. Naphezu kokuthi amandla onke azophela ekuhlulekeni, nokho owesifazane kufanele abe nokuzikhethela futhi akwenze kumuntu ongafanele, ngoba akuyona imfihlo ukuthi bambalwa kakhulu abantu abangathuthukisa eqinisweni - iningi lethu lizama nje ukushiya izikhathi ezingavamile esikhathini esidlule. Kodwa akekho onokuqinisekisa ukuthi ngesikhathi esibuhlungu le sleeve ngeke ihanjiswe ingilazi noma isirinji, kodwa izingane zakho ezihlangene ngeke kusale futhi ukhohliwe, njengenzalo umshado wangaphambilini.
Izingane ezifihlekile
Ngokuvamile, owesilisa oneminyaka engu-40 ubudala, ongenabantwana, ubangela ukusola. Ngokujwayelekile, uma ifomu elingashadile lihlangana nowesifazane, khona-ke kusekhona umshado, futhi ngokuvamile i-neodin, lapho izingane zishiywe khona. Futhi ngaphambi kokwakha umndeni onendoda enjalo, owesifazane ngokuvamile uzama ngokuningiliziwe ukuze athole uhlobo luni lobudlelwano nomzala wakhe nabantwana bakhe abasekela. Ngakho-ke, uma umuntu, ehlukanisile nomkakhe wangaphambili, engakhohlwa izingane zakhe, ebamba iqhaza ekwakhiweni kwabo, ebasiza ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo, ezama ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nomndeni wakhe ngangokunokwenzeka, konke kuhle, unomuntu ofanelekile kulokhu. Kodwa uma umuntu enganaki ngokuphelele imisebenzi yakhe kayise, akabonisi isifiso sokuxhumana no-saddles, ubona kanye ngonyaka futhi akanandaba nezinkinga zabo - kubi.
Ukuzivocavoca kubonisa ukuthi kulula ukuba owesifazane athande ingane kunokuqonda nokuthethelela umuntu ongakhathaleli izingane zakhe. Lapha, ngokugcwele, isithwathwa sokubeletha sibonakala futhi ukunganakwa kwabesifazane akukhulunywe neze.
Ukuthandana kuyisithiyo esikhulu
Cabanga ukuthi uhlala impilo evamile yezwe, ngezinye izikhathi uya esontweni, ubeke amakhandlela, ucele uNkulunkulu usizo. Lapha uhlangana nomuntu ongokwenkolo ogcina ngokwethembeka zonke izidingo ze-Icannons. Kubonakala sengathi lokhu kubi, ngoba akaphuzi noma abhema, uthanda izingane, ubheka ukuhlubuka ukuthi kuyisono esibi. Kodwa ngokushesha uma kuziwa ukuphikisana, owesifazane akakwazi neze ukumisa izimangalo ukuthi akaqapheli ngokugcwele ukuthunyelwa okusheshayo, akagqoki isiketi eside. Yiqiniso, uma bobabili behambisana nemithetho efanayo yokuphila, kuhle kakhulu, ngaphandle kwalokho noma yimuphi umuntu "onjalo" uyobalekela.
Futhi lokhu akusebenzi nje kuphela enkolweni. Indoda, umdobi we-inveterate, u-amateur wokuya emidlalweni yemidlalo yebhola, ukuxosha imishini yemishini, akunakwenzeka ukusekela. Esikhathini sabantu abathandanayo, umuntu angafaka futhi ama-workaholics, umsebenzi wakhe ohlala kuqala, wesibili, wesithathu nowesithathu ekuphileni. Ngakho-ke, uma umuntu onesimo sengqondo esingenampilo kunoma yiliphi ibhizinisi elinikezwa isifundo esisodwa, unikeza sonke isikhathi sakhe, amandla afana, ngisho nomngane obekezela kakhulu uyobalekela kuye.
I-géeni engaziwa
Amanye amadoda azibheka njengabangaziwa. Futhi uma owesifazane ohlakaniphile ekhuphuka enesihloko esinjalo ngezinhlelo zokudala ezingenziwanga, uzozama ngawo wonke amandla akhe ukuba angamngena embuthanweni wabangane bakhe abakhulu. Futhi ukuthi usenayo, ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuthi uvumelene ngobusane "nomoya" onjalo we-muse ungasheshe ube yinto yokuhleka usulu, ngenxa yokuthi kusolakala ukuthi awuzange uqaphele izinhlelo zokudala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, owesifazane onjalo usolwa ngokungahambisani nomculi ongaziwayo olungele ukuba khona kuze kube phakade ngezindleko zakhe, efihle ngemuva kokuhlaselwa kokudala. Ngisho nomculi wangempela akuwona wonke owesifazane okwazi ukubhekana naye, futhi owesifazane owaziyo ukuthi uyothethelela futhi amukele umuntu ongalungile, futhi ngeke enqabe nhlobo.
Uyomangala, kungani ohlwini lwethu kungekho imikhuba eyingozi, ukuhlubuka, ukuhlazeka? Kuyinto elula: izimo ezichazwe ngenhla ziwumphumela wokomisa ngokomzwelo, ukungaqiniseki, ubuvila, esikuchazile njengento eyodwa. Ngakho-ke, ukuthethelela umuntu ukuziphatha okungathí sina, abesifazane kufanele baqonde ukuthi yini engaba yimbi nakakhulu.