Ukuhlangana nomfazi omusha owayengathanda umdlalo kubonakala kungenakwenzeka emphefumulweni wabesilisa nabesifazane. Futhi nansi, umhlangano omelwe isikhathi eside: ukuthandana, izipho, intshiseko .... Kubonakala sengathi lokhu kuyinjabulo, kodwa kuthatha unyaka noma emibili, lapho umuntu ezohlukana nomfazi obonakala sengathi uyingqayizivele futhi akafinyeleleki. Yini futhi eyenza ukuthi enze isenzo esinjalo, okungahambisani naye kowesifazana, kungani lobu buhlobo bungakhulumi nalo wesifazane?
1. Mhlawumbe lo wesifazane wayengumngane omubi, engakwazi ukusekela ingxoxo, futhi ukuthula isikhathi eside noma ukukhuluma kuphela ngezihloko zansuku zonke ezicindezela le ndoda. Mhlawumbe ebuhlotsheni bobulili, owesifazane omusha wayengamgculanga . Lezi zici ezimbili: ukwaneliseka ngokobulili kanye nekhono lokugcina ingxoxo - ukudala ubudlelwane obude obude kubaluleke kakhulu. Namuhla, abesifazane abaningi banelisekile, bahlakaniphile kakhulu, futhi amadoda abathandi abesifazane abanobuhlakani kunabo : lokhu kuyadambisa isithunzi samadoda. Ngakho-ke, laba besifazane abakwanelisayo bahamba ngesikhathi sabo bodwa. Abayithandi futhi "ukufunda nokubhala" ohlelweni lwezocansi lwezintombi : lo muntu uyasabeka futhi uholela emcabangweni wendlela yokuphila yokuziphatha okubi kowesifazane esikhathini esidlule.
2. Uma indoda ifuna ukuhlukanisa nomfazi, ivame ukumtshela ukuthi abavumelani nabalingiswa (la magama ngokuvamile azwakala enkantolo lapho icala lesahlukaniso lihlolwa khona). Ngokuvamile owesifazane onjalo ekuqaleni angakwazi ukufaka isisulu, aqale ukuxabana, asho amazwi amaningi amangazayo angeke abe khona emuva ngoba ngeke akhiphe umndeni nokuthula, ukuqonda okufanayo nobungane phakathi kwamalungu omndeni. Abesifazane abaningi abaqondi ukuthi ukuze balondoloze umndeni kanye nobuhlobo nomuntu othandekayo kufanele bakwazi ukuvuma , ukwehlisa. Owesifazane ophethe lo mdwebo ubizwa ngokuthi uhlakaniphile.
3. Indoda izodingeka ibe nomqondo wokuhlukanisa nomfazi, uma engayithokozi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho namahloni okuphuma naye enkampanini yabangani bakhe nabangane ngenxa yokuziphatha okunganele ngokomngane (ikakhulukazi ngaphansi kokuthwala utshwala).
4. Ukuhlukanisana nomfazi kungenakugwema, uma kungazelelwe umuntu ufunde ukuthi intombi yakhe yithandana nabangane bakhe.
5. Ngokuvamile empilweni indoda izoshiya owesifazane uma embona nsuku zonke ekhaya njengowesifazane onenhlonipho ongafuni ukuba mnandi kuye (hhayi nje kuphela kwabanye). Isibalo esingenalutho, izinwele ezibophayo, ingubo engcolile iholela umuntu emcabangweni wokuhlukanisana nalona wesifazane, uma ngesikhathi esifanayo, eqinisweni, yena uhlanzekile futhi uzilungise kahle.
6. Owesifazane kufanele azi ukuthi indoda engenakho isikhumbuzo, ngokuthanda kwenhliziyo nomphefumulo, inikeza izipho , ithenga izimbali kuphela uma imthanda kakhulu . Uma lokhu kungenzeki futhi sidinga ukumkhumbuza lokhu, khona-ke akusasekho uthando. Khona-ke kuzicelo zakho ungadluli, ukuze ungamcasuli futhi ungakuphoqeleli ukuba uhlanganyele.
7.Muzhchina, (ngokungafani okungajwayelekile, uma uthanda kakhulu owesifazane futhi uyamthanda), akathetheleli owesifazane okhashelayo, lokho akubona , uyamshiya.
8. Kuyi-naively ikholelwa abesifazane abaningi ukuthi umuntu angagcinwa esondelene ngokubeletha ingane (ngaphandle kwalokho, okwenzekayo). Ukuphila kubonisa ukuthi amadoda amaningi awakwazi ukugcina izingane eduze komfazi ongathandeki: bazokhetha ukusiza izingane zide ukusuka kulo wesifazane.
Uma owesifazane ehlakaniphile, ucansi ohlakaniphile, akwazi ukuvuma ngesikhathi sokuxabana, ukunakekela, futhi ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthanda indoda, khona-ke ngeke ahlanganyele nayo.