Abanye besifazane, ngakolunye uhlangothi, baphatha ukusinda ngothando nokuzizwa kuphela nomuntu onomndeni. Ake sizame ukuqonda ukuthi kungani lokhu kwenzeka, nokuthi ungaba kanjani owesifazane, uma indoda eshadile imnikeza ubuhlobo.
Ingabe ikhubazekile noma ingqondo?
Yingakho abesifazane abaningi bengalingeka ukuba babe inkosikazi eshadile. Lokhu kunencazelo yayo engcwele. Abesifazane ngokujwayelekile intuitively bazizwa kahle amathemba ebuhlotsheni nalena noma lowo muntu. Ngakho iningi lazo alikho ukucabanga nge-psychology wesilisa ngokuphathelene nenkosikazi. Njengokucwaninga emkhakheni wezokwelapha kwengqondo, uthando lwezintathukazi, lapho kukhona khona umyeni, umkakho kanye nenkosikazi, azizinzile, zigcwele idrama futhi zihlupha ngokwengqondo kuzo zonke ezintathu.
Kukholelwa ukuthi indlela enokwethenjelwa kakhulu yokuqeda ukubambisana okuphindwe kathathu ukwenza isinqumo somuntu okukuyo oyedwa. Esimweni lapho umuntu oyedwa ehlangana nabesifazane ababili, nguye kuphela okwazi ukuphula unxantathu wothando ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Ukwenza lokhu, kumele akhethe ukuthi ubani ozohlala naye. Izimo ezinjalo ekuphileni kwangempela azivamile. Eqinisweni, unxantathu othandanayo wehla ngenxa yokuthi omunye wabesifazane akayikuma futhi ushiya. Noma, lokho kwenzeka kaningi kangako, bobabili bahlukumeza ukungathandwa kwabathandekayo, kodwa akekho okulungele ukuhamba. Kulesi simo, ubuhlobo besithathu bungadonsela phambili. Futhi uma isikhathi eside siqhubeka, ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo okutholwa yibo bobabili besifazane kanye nomuntu ngokwakhe.
Yingakho abesifazane abanengqondo bazama ukungabandakanyeki namadoda ashadile. Ayaziwa ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukunqoba uthando lwabo, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi bathole izinkinga ngamathuba angamaphesenti angaba yikhulu.
Okwenza amadoda ashadile abe nenkosikazi
Abacansi bezocansi kanye nabangqondo bezengqondo bakholelwa ukuthi banesiphambeko, ikakhulukazi amadoda azinkinga. Yiqiniso, kukhona okungafani, lapho umuntu ojwayelekile engenazo izinkinga ezikhethekile nezinkinga zengqondo, uthola inkosikazi. Kodwa-ke, ingqondo yesilisa iwukuthi, njengoba umthetho, uma umuntu enomzimba ozinzile, onempilo, ofudumele, obushushu, nomoya wakhe, akayikuchitha isikhathi kwizintambo. Uma ubuhlobo bubonakala ebuhlotsheni, uqala ukucabanga ngokuhlukumezeka. Amadoda angaphansi kwabesifazane, alungele ukusebenza emibuthanweni. Futhi uma behlukana nomkakhe, bangazama ukuthola umuntu oqondayo. Bangakwazi shlestnutsya nabangane abadala futhi baqale ukuthulula izinkinga zabo ngewayini noma zama ukuhamba nabo ngokuzilibazisa njengokudoba noma ukumba njalo egaraji. Kodwa bangaya ezindleleni ezingaphezulu kakhulu - ukuthola indlovukazi. Ngokuvamile, la madoda azimisele ukushiya umndeni. Bakhululekile: impilo ehleliwe ekhaya, izingane ezihlanziwe kahle kanye nesinye isimiso, isithukuthezi, silinganiselwe ukuzinza. Futhi inkosikazi ingenza i-pokorolesit, thatha inhliziyo yakho, unyakaze izinsuku zakudala. Ngakho kuvela ukuthi abanenhloso ekhethekile mayelana nenkosikazi yabo. Kukhona isifiso sokuthola okuvela ekuphileni okushiwo emndenini.
Kungani abesifazane behlangana namadoda ashadile?
Njengoba sesibonile kakade, akuwona wonke owesifazane ozohamba nomunye wesifazane oshadile. Ngokujwayelekile, abesifazane abanelisekile, abaphelelwe yilabo abanesizotha bafika kulokhu. Ngezinye izikhathi bangabesifazane, ngenxa yezimo, besaba ubudlelwane obuseduze nabantu. Ukuba khona komndeni kulabo abakhethiweyo kumvikela ukuba angasondeli ubudlelwano nomuntu. Uzizwa sengathi uyimzwa engamanga, futhi uyayifaka ngezimo zangaphandle, hhayi ngokuhluleka kwakhe ukuthanda. Ngokuvamile, owesifazane uphonsela uxhumano nendoda eshadile ngokuhlangenwe nakho okungaphumelelanga kobudlelwane bomuntu siqu noma umqondo owatholwa kubazali ukuthi bonke abantu abafanelekile kuye.
I-psychology yamadoda ngokuphathelene nenkosikazi, efaka ubudlelwane obungaphandle ngaphandle kwezibopho, kungaba kuhle. Ukuze inhlonipho ehlonishwe ngenkululeko yokuzikhethela umuntu onjalo, ukwesaba nokungavikeleki kokuheha komuntu kungase kufihlwe.
Kumele ngithi, ukuhamba endleleni yombhalo oshadile, lona wesifazane ukwandisa izinkinga zakhe kuphela. Umqondo ohlala njalo wokuziphatha okubi, ukuphindaphindiwe komuntu siqu kubangela ukuzethemba komuntu wesifazane. Kukhona umbuthano ononya: uma ehlangana noshadile isikhathi eside, wehlisa ukuzethemba. Futhi ukwehlisa ukuzethemba, ithuba elingaphansi lokuba nobuhlobo obuphumelelayo nomuntu okhululekile, uzimisele ukumnika ubuhlobo obuzinzile obuhlala njalo.
Konke lokhu kuqiniswa ukusabela kwemvelo yangaphandle. Akuvamile ukuthi kwenzeke ukuthi akekho olahla inkosikazi yendoda eshadile. Eqinisweni, uvame ukuba ngumuntu "ongewona" kumbuthano wabangane nezihlobo zakhe akhethiweyo. Futhi uma lo mcimbi uqhubekile emsebenzini, inkosikazi ingaba yinto yokuhlekwa usulu kubalingani okusobala ukuthi ayikhuthazi ukwakhiwa okuphumelelayo komsebenzi.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma uthola umuzwa womshado oshadile
Naphezu kobuhlobo obuhle bobudlelwano nomuntu oshadile, akufanele alahlekelwe uthando ngaye. Uthando akuwona umuzwa wokuthi singakwazi ukulawula. Ngokuvamile kuvela emphefumulweni wethu ngokumelene nentando yethu, akusilo lutho ukuthi izaga kanye namahlaya athandwa kakhulu "ngothando lobubi ..."
Uma uthola ukuthi udangele umuzwa womuntu oshadile, okokuqala kufanele ufunde isimo. Iqiniso liwukuthi manje abantu baye baba lula ngendlela elula ukuphatha izindaba zokubhalisa nokuhlukanisa. Uma umshado wakhe ukhona kuphela ephepheni, ungakwazi ukukhohlwa ngokuphepha konke okushiwo ngenhla bese uphonsa phezulu encwadini. Hlala uqaphele: ungathembeli ngokungaqondile amazwi alo muntu ngokwakhe, hlola ulwazi mayelana 'nokuhleleka' komshado wakhe ngokusebenzisa abangane, abangane nezihlobo.
Uma umshado wakhe unamandla futhi 'ungaphefumuli kakhulu,' njengoba esho, zama ukwenza konke ukugwema lobu buhlobo. Thatha isikhathi sokuxhumana, uma usebenza ndawonye, zama ukuhlangana nomsebenzi. Thatha iholidi bese uchitha inyanga kude nayo. Yenza izinto zokuziqamba ekugwemeni inanethi enjalo, bese uzothola ithuba lokwakha ubuhlobo obufudumele nokuthembela komunye umuntu, ohloniphekile futhi othembekile.