Ngokwezengqondo ze-psychologists, okokuqala kudingekile ukuba ubuyekeze ngokujulile izimali zabo futhi bathole izindlela zokuqasha indawo yokuhlala. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kwabashadile abasha. Ngenkathi usujwayele ukuthandana, awudingi okwesithathu. Kodwa uma ungenayo imishini okwamanje, kukhona njalo okukhethayo nezihlobo eziseduze zokuhlanganyela kuzo indawo yokuhlala.
Ukuvakashela ugogo
Indlela engcono kakhulu ukuhlala nogogo nomkhulu endlini eyodwa. Phela, sekuphawulwe isikhathi eside ukuthi ugogo nabazukulu bahlangana kangcono. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuvamile kunogogo nomkhulu, kunesidingo, futhi lokhu kuyimbangela emihle. Nokho, akuzona zonke izinto ezibushelelezi. Okokuqala, bobabili nonogogo nabakhulu bangaba mnandi nje kuphela, kodwa futhi bahlambalaza, bahlambalaza futhi belimaza ngokuqondile. Futhi, okwesibili, ukunakekela abantu abagulayo kungabuye kube isilingo esikhulu kokubili kanye nobuhlobo bakho nomyeni wakho.
Ngakho-ke, umsebenzi wakho ukukhombisa ukuthi awusona intombazanyana eyayivakashela ugogo njengendwendwe, kodwa owesifazane omdala okwazi ukuthatha umthwalo wempilo yakhe. Uma unquma ukuhlala ndawonye kwelinye ifulethi elinama-aksakals, khumbula: ugogo nomkhulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bangamakhulu kangakanani, baningi kakhulu kunawe futhi badinga inhlonipho. Ungazami ukukholisa ugogo ukuthi izingubo zangaphansi akubilisi manje, kodwa sebenzisa i-powder. Myeke aphile ezweni lakhe futhi enze njengoba ekhululekile, futhi wenze njengoba ubona kufanelekile. Ungacasuli ukulingana asebekhulile. Ungayeki ukudla okuqinisekiswe ngugogo wakho, noma imisebenzi yomsebenzi oyinikeza umkhulu.
Kodwa-ke, ungavumeli ugogo noma umkhulu wakho ahlale entanyeni yakho. Uma kungenjalo impilo yakho yomndeni iyophendukela ebukhosini. Ungavumeli izihlobo ezindala ukuba ziqaphe ukufika kwakho nokuhamba, noma zisuse isikhathi sakho samahhala. Ngezinye izikhathi ingxoxo engathà sina futhi eqinile nesizukulwane esidala ingaba yisilinganiso esiphumelelayo. Amadala amadala amakhulu. Ungayinaki imishwana: "Nganikela konke njengengane," "Nonke nifuna ukufa kwami," "Bheka ngiyafa, futhi uzozizwa ungcono" - guqula ingxoxo ibe ezinye izihloko. Uma unakekela umuntu ogulayo - ungathathi umthwalo wemfanelo wokuzinakekela wena. Kungcono ukuhlukanisa imisebenzi engxenyeni nomyeni wakho futhi ungakhohlwa ngomshado wakho.
Unomamazala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa
Ukuhlala kanye noninazala kwelinye ifulethini kukhona ubuciko obuphelele bokuzibophezela. Phela, abanikazi bamahhala ababili bakuthola kunzima ukuhlangana endaweni eyodwa. "Awupheki kanje!" Luhlobo luni lomdlandla lokuphila okunempilo? Indodana yami ithanda inyama ngamafutha! Ukhulisa ingane ngendlela engafanele. Uyambatha kabi, futhi uhlala egula! Kungani umyeni wakho ehlala emsebenzini? Mhlawumbe, akakho okuhle kakhulu kuwe "- ungaphinda ucaphune umkhwekazi.
Umamazala ongenamahloni, owandiswa ngumntwana wakhe, uyakwazi ukumisa noma yimuphi umndeni. Kuzodingeka uchithe amandla amaningi nokubekezela ukuphetha isivumelwano esivumelwaneni nomamazala. Udinga ukwehlisa. Zivumelanisa nawe kuleli qiniso. Nguwe owafika emzini kamamazala nomkhwezala ngakho-ke nje akakwazi ukubeka imithetho yabo lapho. Nokho, lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele uhambisane ngokuphelele nomama wakho. Yebo, endaweni ethile (isibonelo, ezindabeni zokuphila kwansuku zonke) kuzodingeka wenze lokho umamazala wakho adinga. Nokho, ebuhlotsheni bakho, ezindabeni zokukhulisa izingane ngisho nokuhlobisa igumbi ohlala kulo, abazali bomyeni akufanele baphazamise.
Yiba nomusa kumyeni wakho futhi ungamtsheli wonke ama-hassles nomama wakhe. Ngeke neze abe eceleni kwakho. Yiba nokuhlakanipha: zama ukungaphenduli amahlaya omamazala wakho, uvumelane nawo, uthembisa ukucabanga nokusebenza ngendlela yakho. Futhi noma kunjalo ungaqali ukukhuluma ngomama womyeni wakhe ngamacala aqondile. "Ngiyahlonipha umama wakho, kodwa ngingathanda ..." - yilokho okushiwo amagama.
Uma ekhaya umyeni wakho akakhathaleli kakhulu ngokuhlanzeka, futhi usetshenziswe ukuthi konke kufanele kukhanye endlini, funa ukusekelwa komlingani wakho futhi uqale ukuhlela izinto ndawonye. Kodwa-ke, ungacabangi ngisho nokukhumbuza abazali bomyeni wakhe. Ngeke bashintshe, futhi nje uchitha isikhathi nesisindo. Ekugcineni, thola izimfanelo ezinhle kubazali bomyeni wakho futhi ubathande. Imisho "Ngangifuna ukuxhumana nawe", "Uzizwa kanjani", "Ucabangani ..." ngokuqinisekile kuzokusiza ukuba uthole ukhiye wenhliziyo kamamazala nomkhwezala.
"Ungabheke yonke indawo izitha." Uma wamukela njenge-axiom ukuthi izihlobo zakho nabayeni bakho abaseduze akufisa ukulimaza, kuzoba lula kakhulu ukuhlala.
- Ungakhohlwa ngomncane wakho, kodwa umndeni obaluleke kakhulu. Khumbula ukuthi umgomo wakho awukuthi ungubani ukuthi ngubani ongumphathi endlini, hhayi ukuhlukanisa konke ubuhlobo noninazala, kodwa ukugcina ubuhlobo.
- Ungahlakuleli izikhalazo zakho. Uma uzokutshela wonke umuntu futhi yonke indawo mayelana nabazali abahlukumezayo bomyeni wakho noma ukukhononda "ngabashicileli bakho abanakekelayo", lokhu kuzomane kukhulise intukuthelo yakho.
Umama othandekayo
Kukholelwa ukuthi kulula ukuhlala ndawonye nomama wakho kwelinye ifulethi kunomamazala. Kodwa kulokhu, ubungozi bokungaqedi ukunakekelwa kwabazali. Umama wakho uzokuthola kunzima ukuqonda ukukhula kwakho. Wena-ke-shiya indima yendodakazi encane, ngoba konke kunqunywe ngabazali, noma ukulahla umuzwa wokulawula. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuphila emqondweni wabazali ngokucacile akubambi iqhaza ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano nomyeni wakhe.
Okokuqala, udinga ukuphula lokho okuthiwa "intambo yomzwelo" okuxhuma wena nomama wakho. Ungowesifazane omdala futhi kufanele ube nomthwalo wemfanelo emndenini wakho. Yebo, udinga bobabili usizo nosizo oluvela kumama wakho, kodwa wenza zonke izinqumo ngokwakho. Ukuze ungangeni ngaphansi kwethonya nokukhathazeka komama wakho, kuzodingeka uthathe ezinye zezinkampani zakho. Faka umyeni wakhe ekuxazululeni izinkinga zomndeni. Akayena ohlala kuyo, kodwa ilungu eliphelele lomndeni.
Ungakhulumi nomama wakho ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho. Futhi ungazinikeli umyeni wakho kuyo yonke imininingwane yobuntwana obunzima. Wonke umuntu, kuhlanganise nabazali, unelungelo lokwenza iphutha. Usuvele usumdala, ngakho-ke ukwanele ukubheka izimpande zezinkinga, yisikhathi sokuzixazulula.
Ubani ohlala ku-teremochke?
Ugogo nomkhulu balele ekhishini, umama nobaba ekamelweni lokuphumula, wena nomyeni wakho kanye nengane ekamelweni lokulala, nodadewabo nesoka elilandelayo kanye nezingane ezimbili ezivela emishadweni yangaphambilini ebizwa ngokuthi izingane? Uma lesi simo sifana neyakho, khona-ke uyazi ngokuzibonela mayelana nokuzivikela phakathi kwamadoda, izimangalo eziqhubekayo zabesifazane ekhishini, izinyembezi zezingane kanye nokuntula okuphelele kwesikhala somuntu siqu. Ukuhlala kwezihlobo eziningi ndawonye kwelinye ifulethi kukhona imithetho yehostela. Kuze kuxazululwe inkinga yakho yezindlu, kuzodingeka uphile ngokuvumelana nemithetho yehostela. Hlanganisa nalokhu bese uzama ukuthola izinzuzo. Njengoba izifundo zibonisa, izingane, ezakhulela phambi kwezizukulwane eziningana zezihlobo, zizethemba ngokwengeziwe.
Iqiniso lokuthi awusabhidli ubudlelwano nomndeni wakho kanye nomyeni wakho, uthi unomndeni omuhle. Futhi manje izindaba ezimbi: asebekhulile izingane zakho ziba, kunzima kakhulu kuwe, nabo, nabo bonke abanye abakhileyo endlini. Ngakho-ke, funda imithethonqubo yesifunda sakho ohlala kuyo bese uzama emgqeni ukuze uthole izindlu zikamasipala. Kungcono ukubonisana nodokotela ezindabeni zezindlu. Mhlawumbe ufanelekile uhlelo lwezindlu olukhethiwe.
Khumbula: awudingi ukudala amalunga emndenini ofanayo. Namuhla wena nomama wakho nixoxa nodadewethu nesoka lakhe elisha, kusasa "bangabangane" ngokumelene nawe nomyeni wakho. Zama ukunciphisa zonke izingxabano, futhi kangcono ukungena ebhizinisini labanye abantu.
Ungaxoxani ngezihlobo phambi kwezingane. Ubuhlobo bakho bungashintsha, futhi izingane, futhi ikakhulukazi ezisencane - zingathatha isikhundla esicacile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane zingasebenzisa ama-scandals nezimpikiswano zezihlobo zokuziphatha. Hlela isikhala efulethini ukuze ilungu ngalinye lomndeni libe nook oluyimfihlo.
Masinyane kufanele ucacise izinkinga zokupheka nokuhlanza, uma uhlala ndawonye endlini efanayo. Eminye imindeni ithola kube lula ukukhipha ukudla nokupheka ngamunye ngamunye. Omunye ukhetho olufanele kakhulu ngamandla ahlukene. Kulesi simo, kubalulekile ukudweba isimiso sokuba khona ekhishini futhi, ngokuqinisekile, ukuhlanza. Into esemqoka akukona ukuthatha konke ngokujulile. Ngisho noma umuntu ephula imithetho, akukho lutho olubi kulokhu. Phela, awuhlali nabantu abangabazi. Ingabe lokhu akusona isizathu sokuthi ubekezelele kancane, funda ukuvala amehlo akho kokuthile futhi uvikele umbono wakho ngokuthula.