Imithetho engu-7 yomshado ngaphandle komshado

Iningi lamantombazane azikholelwa ukuthi umgomo wabo omkhulu ukushada. Kodwa ngokuqinisekile ukuxhuma ekhanda lakho, bayoqonda ukuthi babengafuni kakhulu isitembu kuma-passports abo njengokuphila okude futhi okujabulisayo emshadweni. Kodwa ngubani othi "ngakolunye uhlangothi" kuzoba lula kunokuba mahhala emithandweni yomshado? Kodwa uDeveli akasabeki kakhulu njengoba eqoshiwe. Kunemithetho eminingana, ukubuka ukuthi ungagcina futhi uqinise ubuhlobo bakho nomyeni wakho. Masibhale phansi kulezi zindawo eziyisikhombisa.


Umbono ngezigaba zothando

Uyakhumbula ukuthi amadolo akho aphihliwe ngaphambi kosuku ngalunye, ngabe luhlobo luni lomlilo oluvutha ubulili obungalindelekile nolulinde isikhathi eside, njengoba umuntu angathanda ukungabikho kumlingani okwesikhashana, kodwa ukubamba isandla sakhe nxazonke? Yebo, yebo, ukubukeka okusheshayo noma kokuphela kwayo yonke le mizwa idlulele, kodwa hhayi ngoba uthando seludlulile futhi aluzange lube mncane, usanda kufika ekupheleni kwesigaba sokuqala. Lesi kwakuyisigaba "se-symbiosis".

Isigaba esilandelayo, okuyisinye isinqumo sokuthi kungenzeka kanjani esikhathini esizayo sobuhlobo bakho - lesi yisigaba sokuhlukanisa. Amadoda ahlukaniswe kancane, abuyele ubuhlobo bawo bangaphambili nabangani noma aphishekele ukuzilibazisa okuthandayo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ube nokuphila kwakhe ngaphambi kwakho, njengabangane bakho bekanye nawe. Futhi akudingeki ukuba aphulule impilo yakhe yonke, ngoba ngeke ukwazi ukuguqula indawo yenkampani yesilisa (ngisho noma ufunda konke mayelana nebhola). I-Leash, okwamanje kakade ongayikukhunjulwa entanyeni, akufanele ibe mfushane kakhulu - ngakho ngeke ukwazi ukufeza noma yini. Abesifazane, empeleni, benza into efanayo, kuphela ngezinye izindlela - baqala ukuxabana nomntwana osemusha noma bamxosha emzimbeni, okuphika ukusondelana kobulili.

Khona-ke iqala impi yangempela yamandla emndenini (futhi okwenzekayo, ukusungulwa kwemithetho nemingcele). Isici esiyinhloko salesi sigaba yisifiso sabo bobabili abalingani bokuzimela nokubunjwa kwesikhala somuntu siqu. Ngeshwa, ngalesi sigaba, imibhangqwana ethile ifika esinqumweni sokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuqedela ubudlelwane. Abanye bahlala ndawonye, ​​kodwa abashiyi umcabango wokuthi nganoma yisiphi isikhathi lapho sebekulungele ukuphula lezi zibopho, lo mzuzwana awukwazi ukuza, kodwa uhlala iziqalo zokuqala , eqoqwe ngokucophelela yi-subconscious, ayikholi injabulo. Okwesithathu bacabangela kanye nomuntu othandekayo njengomphikisana naye, okumele aphumelele ngokuphumelela, efakaze igunya lakhe futhi emise ukubusa kwakhe. Ukulinganisela ukuziqhenya, isikhali esiyinhloko sithinteka futhi senze izingxabano.

Ukuhlangana nokude, ukuxhomeka nokuzimela, ukusondelana nokwesaba, amathuba okungathengiswa kanye nemizwa ehambisana nayo: umhawu nokuhlazeka - zonke lezi zigaba zihambisana nomjikelezo wemvelo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sasihluke kanjani, njengomthetho, bonke ubudlelwano bahamba ngendlela eyodwa ehleliwe. Futhi ngayinye yalezi zigaba kuyadingeka ukuze abalingani bafinyelele ezingeni elilandelayo lobuhlobo.

Okufanele ukwenze: inhlekelele yukuthi wonke umuntu - ungesabi ukumemeza nokuphikisana. Imizwelo, ngenani elilinganiselwe, lihle. Into esemqoka, khumbula ukuthi ukukhala kungumzamo wokuzwakala, kodwa akukho ndlela yokuveza umbono omubi ngomngane wakho. Ungasebenzisi i-vocabulary eyisimemezelo, zama ukwenza ngaphandle kwe-handalobeds futhi ungalokothi uthi "awuthandi, ngoba uziphathe", ungesabi ukuhamba futhi unganiki ukuhamba. Okushiwo ezinhliziyweni, kungakuza ngokumelene nawe. Izingxabano nokuxabana - lokhu kuvamile! Spore ngempilo.

Owesifazane, yena nomama we-Afrika

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, bobabili owesifazane nowesifazane baqhakaza, ngoba bazizwa ukuthi bayathandeka futhi bayathandwa. Lokhu akumangazi, ngoba ukuxhumana nengxenye yesibili, bathola ukuncoma, njengesiqinisekiso sokuthi besifazane noma besilisa. Futhi ukukhangisa kwakho okukhulayo kuphawulwa hhayi kuphela ngumlingani, kodwa futhi nabakuzungezile, ukuzihlonipha okunjalo kukhula ngokukhuphuka kanye nemingcele. Kodwa ukubonga okwedlulele okuthandwa yilabo abathandekayo kuba kancane kancane, ukukhathazeka kancane kancane kwehlisa - ekugcineni, kuya ekuzihloneleni. Ngalesi sikhathi, amantombazane adinga ukuqina. Ungazicengeli ngokuncoma. Khumbula ukuthi ukuqashelwa kokuheha kwakho kufanele kube kuhle, kungabuyiselwa.

Okufanele ukwenze: ungashiyi isikhalo sakho sobulili nokuheha kuphela othandekayo. Zibophezele ukusebenzisa ukuthi imvelo inike yona. Akekho owakushiya isithembu sengqondo, kepha ukuzithokozisa okulula (ukucindezeleka egameni elithi "lula"), ukushaya amehlo, ukugqoka okugcizelela ubulili bakho, kumele kube khona empilweni yakho. Ukuphuma kubantu, bonisa ukuthi usengumdlalo, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ithimba lakho selivele linomlingani. Khumbuza othandekayo wakho ukuthi usengumuntu wesifazane, noma ngabe usebenza kuso, kodwa uthanda amanye amadoda. Into esemqoka akuyona ukuyiqeda.

Sibeka phambili: kuqala, "Mina", bese kuthi "We"

Uma uzicabangela wena njengengxenye yesonke, okuthiwa "We", ke kulezi zinsuku, ingxenye ixhomekeke. Uma uzizwa ungenakho ukuphila ngaphandle komlingani wakho, uma unomhawu, ukwandisa isigamu sakho sesibili ukuthi unamathele ngezintambo eziqinile futhi ufuna ukuphuma ekhaya "ejele" (futhi ngezinye izikhathi wonke amaphupho awagcini). Yonke into ingaba futhi ilahleke ngokuphambene nalokho - umlingani wakho ngaphandle kwakho angeke athathe isinyathelo, ukuze uhlale unomuzwa wokuthi uhamba kancane.

Okufanele ukwenze: akukho lutho olubi ku-equation "Mina" + "Mina" = "Siyi". Lokhu okuphambene nokufaniswa kwesibalo kulesi sibonelo kusuka ekuvunyelweni kwezindawo zemigomo, okuningi kungashintsha, futhi kube ngcono. Ngikholelwa ukuthi inkulumo ethi "konke kufanele kunqunywe yindoda" ayikwazi ukuthathwa ngendlela engokoqobo, njengenkulumo ethi "Ngizobhekana nayo yonke into ngokwami." "Senza umqondo uma nje singabantu ababili, hhayi omunye oveza umbono, omunye ovumelana naye.

Kuhle ukuthi wena noshade naye nakhe ubuhlobo babo ukuze bangabi abathandi kuphela kodwa nabangane, kodwa ngezikhathi ezithile kuyadingeka ukudiliza "thina" yakho futhi sithole ukwesekwa ohlangothini, kungukuthi, isiyingi sakho sokuxhumana .

Indoda yakho ayiyona ingqondo

Kukhona isimo sengqondo sowesifazane "Uma engithanda, uyangilazi kahle ngokwanele ukuqagela lokho engikudingayo." Kuyaziwa lapho izinyawo zale nkulumo zivela khona, futhi lapho zonke ezinye "i-vanilla" zivela khona - ama-comedies othandanayo. Amantombazane, khumbula, abashade bakho abanamakhono angaphezu kwalokho, akwazi ukufunda ingqondo, kodwa kunzima ukukuqonda, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nakuwe, ongafani namadoda akho. Ikakhulukazi yinkinga yokungavumelani empilweni yobulili yabalingani. Ngesikhathi, ukwesaba ukucasula umama womuntu akusho ukuthi kukhona okwenziwe hhayi njengoba bebengathanda. Ngenxa yokuthula okungapheli, ngenxa yalokho, abesifazane baqala "ukulimaza ikhanda", futhi amadoda "akhathele emsebenzini". Ngenxa yalokho, ingxenye ebuseduze yobuhlobo isonakalisiwe.

Okufanele ukwenze: kulula ukukhuluma lapha. Kodwa ukungakhulumi ngalokho ongakuthandi, kodwa ngalokho okuthandayo. Nikeza okukhethwa kukho, lalela lokho okushiwo umlingani wakho. Ngokushesha nje uma omunye eqala ukuvula futhi owesibili uzophinde asekele umjaho owedlule. Kungani kungadingeki siqale kuqala? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungayiphenduli le ngxoxo ibe yisitatimende sezimangalo, makenzeke ngendlela engekho "I-Complaint Book", kodwa ngesitayela se "Iziphakamiso nezifiso".

Faka i-rake ekhoneni

Ngemuva kokuhlaziya zonke izingxabano nomyeni wakho, uzobona ukuthi zonke zikhula ngokuvumelana nesimo esifanayo. Lapho umbhangqwana oshayisanayo, imibono yabashadile ifana. Njengomthetho, kuphela imbangela yenguquko yokuphikisana. Ngokuvamile, ukuqala, isibonelo, ngezidakamizwa ezingavundiwe, kulezi zifundo izindlela ezingavunyelwe, njenge: "Uyakhumbula ihlobo eledlule ...". Uqala ukubhala phansi lezo zono zomngane wakho, osekuvele waba isizathu sokuxabana, futhi kubonakala sengathi le nkinga isisombululiwe, kodwa cha, ubuye waphindela kuyo. Akekho omunye umuntu ongakwazi "ukumbamba" igama, njengomthandayo, futhi konke ngoba uyakwazi ukushaya. Ukuthuthukiswa kwengxabano enjalo kubonakala kungakabonakali - "siyaqhuma", futhi sizithukuthelela ngokwesizathu sokuzivumela ukuthi sisabele ekucaseni.

Okufanele ukwenze: ngokubanzi, impikiswano isisusa nje sokuheha ukunakwa, indlela yokufeza uthando lwakhe. Kulesi simo, udinga ukuphendukela kwifilosofi yasempumalanga, ethi ukulwa okungcono kakhulu akuzange kuqalwe. Khumbula ukuthi ngesikhathi sokuxabana onamandla akekho ozwakalayo, kodwa owakwazi ukuhlala ethule. Yeka inguqulo evamile yokuvela kwezenzakalo - ungahlaseli. Ungazami ukufakazela ukufaneleka kwakho ngesikhathi lapho usho kakade okuningi, ngoba izwi lakho lilahlekile ngokukhuza okukodwa. Lalela lokho indoda yakho ifuna ukukutshela, bese imphoqa ukuba akulalele.

Ukucabanga okude, vula imizwa

Maye kuWi. Sivame ukuhlaziya njalo futhi sicabange ngakho ngamanye amazwi - ukuzithoba. Lokhu kuhle, kodwa ngenkathi indaba ihamba empilweni yomuntu siqu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akukho lutho olungalungile ngeqiniso lokuthi empilweni yakho zonke izici zihlelekile ngokuphelele futhi zihlelwe emashalofini, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukhohlwa ukushintshela kwimodi yezinzwa, ngesikhathi esiseduze nawe uba njengomshini.

Okufanele ukwenze: Ukucabanga okunengqondo kungabulala ngokuphelele uthando lomshado, ngakho-ke ngezinye izikhathi, uma iziphetho ezinengqondo zikushukumisela kusixazululo esithile, yeka. Philisa okujulile, vumela imicabango yakho ikhululeke, vumela ubuchopho isikhashana ukuphumula. Futhi manje cabanga futhi, kuphela ngomunye umzimba - inhliziyo. Uma "uthando" lwakho, "ukuqonda", "ukuqonda" lungaphuma zonke izizathu zomqondo, khona-ke lesi yisinqumo esilungile kuphela.

Lokhu kuyisinqumo sakho futhi uzohlala nayo

Ngesinye isikhathi, ngesikhathi sezinkinga zomndeni, ubheka oshade naye futhi ucabange: "Futhi kwakuphi amehlo ami lapho ngikukhetha." Lesi yisikhathi lapho zonke izinto ezinhle kakhulu futhi eziqhakazile ezazisemngeni wakho ziqhuma. Ngokuvamile ngesikhathi esifanayo, abangane baqala ukwengeza umlilo, baphinda izwi elilodwa "ngenkathi sathi."

Okufanele ukwenze: ukuhlala ngokwengqondo "ohlelweni lomshini" bese ubuyela ngesikhathi lapho ufike ezindlebeni zakho ngothando lomuntu okwamanje odlala ngokuhleka ngesikhathi elala nawe embhedeni. Khumbula, kunokuba yena avunyelwe. Londoloza lo mzwa futhi ubuyele nayo manje!