Amantombazane ayengozini kakhulu, izidalwa ezingokwenyama ezingenakuphikiswa, ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu ukusinda izingxabano, izikhalazo nokungaqondi kahle nomuntu othandekayo. Ngamunye wabo amaphupho wokuba isoka lakhe ethandeka kakhulu, intombazane enhle kakhulu emhlabeni. Kodwa bavame ukubuza imibuzo: "kungani ethukuthele?", "Ngingenzenjani?", "Ungachaza kanjani ukuthi lokhu akujabulisi?", Njll. Kunamakhulu noma izinkulungwane zemibuzo enjalo.
Kodwa nokho, nsuku zonke umbuzo ofanayo ubuzwa izikhathi eziningana: kanjani ukuthi ube yintombazane enhle kakhulu isoka lakho?
Mhlawumbe, zonke izintombi ngokuvamile zicabanga ukuthi yiyiphi iphutha lakho, amaphutha amancane noma ukungaqondi kahle ngamazwi omfana wakho kubangela izingxabano eziningi nezikhalazo ezingathandeki. Kodwa cabanga ukuthi amadoda angaphezu kuka-53% azama ukutadisha izinkinga zobuhlobo bawo, kodwa afika esiphethweni sokuthi kulula kakhulu ukuba owesifazane aphume esimweni ngokumomotheka ebusweni bakhe ngokushesha. Ungabonisi isoka lakho isikhalazo ngokuthi uyakunilalela ngokungaziqondi noma aqonde kahle amagama akho.
Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka ukuthi amagama ambalwa esiwasho kumuntu othandekayo akenzi lutho kithi, kuyilapho umuntu engacasulwa kakhulu, noma anganciphisa kakhulu ukuzethemba kwakhe. Zama ukugwema amagama angamahloni ekucaciseni inkinga, kodwa kunalokho, ulindele indawo efudumele, ezolile, ekhululekile, engeke, lapho kuchaza izizathu nezikhalazo, kukukhukhumeza izingxabano ezintsha. Amadoda athande ngempela uma ehola kakhulu, azisa, ahloniphe futhi abonise ukuthi amthanda kangakanani. Into esemqoka akuyona ukuyiqeda. Ngemuva kwalokho, uma insizwa ibonisa ukuthi ibuhlobo ikhetha konke, khona-ke kuyoba nzima ukuhlangana naye ngento eyodwa, gcina lokhu engqondweni lapho uphendula umbuzo: "kanjani ukuthi ube yintombazane enhle kakhulu esoka lakho."
Amadoda amaningi kakhulu, kodwa ikakhulukazi amantombazane, akholelwa ukuthi azonikeza intombazane, imfudumalo nesithando kakhulu, bangaki abothola ngokubuyisela (lokhu kufana nesigameko esidumile "wena kimi - mina kuwe"). Ngokuyinhloko, lokhu kwenzeka ezimweni eziningi ngoba insizwa yakho inenkinga yokuphila emantombazaneni. Lapho ezama futhi enza konke akwaziyo futhi ngokushesha nje lapho akwazi, futhi ngokuphindaphindiwe akatholi lutho, noma uthola, kodwa, njengoba ebheka ngokungenasici futhi ngomphefumulo ogcwele ukunganaki imizwa yakhe. Ngemuva kwezimo ezinjalo, abantu bangashintsha kakhulu. Wonke amantombazane aqondana nalokhu ngezindlela ezahlukene: abanye abafuni ukucabanga okuningi ngakho futhi banezinkinga eziningi kanye nezinkinga, kanti abanye bafuna ngempela ukusiza enye ingxenye ibuye ibuyele, ngisho noma kuthatha isikhathi esingenamkhawulo. Uma kukhona intombazane enothando eseduze, ungashintsha konke. Lokhu akunakwenzeka, ngoba uma insizwa ithanda ngempela - ayikwazi ukuyeka othandekayo wakhe noma ucabange ukuthi uzoba nomunye umuntu.
Umbuzo ofanayo uvame ukuphakanyiswa: Kungani engavami ukungibiza, futhi cishe asize sibonane? Kodwa hhayi njalo kuphela kumfana wakho osemusha. Cabanga ngakho, noma mhlawumbe wenza into engalungile? Ngisho nensizwa evamile kakhulu futhi enothando ingabhekana nesikhathi esibucayi lapho kuyo yonke imihlangano uqala ukuxazulula izinkinga noma ukuthola ubukhulu bomhlaba wonke kule nkinga ebuhlotsheni bakho.
Ngakho-ke, ukuze ugweme udoti olungadingekile, amadoda avele efuna izikhathi, ngisho neziphukuphuku, ukuze nje ungahlangani nawe ngesikhathi esisodwa. Yiqiniso, kunezinye izizathu. Indoda ingase ithukuthele izinkinga nabangane noma isimo esimnandi emsebenzini. Indlela engcono ngaphandle kokucasula othandekayo wakho ukuthola ukuthi kwenzekani okufanayo kuye nokuthi yini ehluphayo ukuhlala endaweni eyodwa ndawonye (akudingekile ukuthi uhlele uhambo olukhulu olwandle, ukuhamba kusihlwa noma amahora amabili epaki kukwanele). Kwezinye izimo, le nsizwa kumele isekelwe. Uma esheshe akutshele ukuthi inkinga yakhe iyini nokuthi yini ngempela ehluphayo - uyethemba ngokuphelele futhi ulindele ukusekelwa kuphela kuwe. Ungacabangi ukuthi indoda kufanele ibe nzima futhi ikwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zayo. Lokhu futhi uyindoda futhi imizwa yakhe ayiyona insimbi. Kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi uma isigamu sakho sesibili singenayo imizwa emhlanganweni wakho noma sisho nje noma yiliphi igama - lokhu akuyona isimo lapho udinga ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho ebuhlotsheni. Ungazami ukuthola lutho - luzoqhubeka lubi kakhulu futhi, ngokuvamile, alukwazi ukuthi yini engagcina.
Ingabe ufuna ukuba intombazane enhle kakhulu esoka lakho? Funda ukuyiqonda. Phela, ngisho nangemva kwezinyanga ezintathu zokukhulumisana, ungafaka isifinyezo esicacile nesicacile sesimo sakhe, izinto ezizithandayo nemishwana, izithakazelo nezokuzilibazisa, umbuthano wokuxhumana kanye nesimo sengqondo kuwe. Kubalulekile ukuba ufunde ukuthi ube yindoda yonke into: umama, ubaba, umngane osondelene noqondayo, interlocutor ojabule futhi kuphela intombazane. Ukwazi ukusekela ezikhathini ezinzima, ukuhleka ubuwula bakho nokuxabana, futhi unciphise zonke izikhalazo ngokumomotheka futhi nesifiso sokuba khona njalo.