Indlela yokufunda ukuba nomphakathi futhi ukhulume?

Esihlokweni sethu esithi "Indlela yokufunda ukuba nomphakathi futhi sikhulume" sizokutshela ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nohlazo lwakho futhi ukhulume futhi ujabule. Kubantu abaningi, ukubonakala nokusebenzelana nabantu abangabazi kuyinkinga enkulu. Yini okufanele uyenze uma ufanele ukhulume, phambi kwezilaleli ezincane, bese uhlaselwa ulimi lwamagama? Lokhu kwesaba usaqhubeka usuka enkulisa, bese usuka esikoleni. Lapho izintombi zakho ezinamahloni ezinganeni zomntwana zifunda umbhalo wakho, uvame ukuma eceleni. Futhi mhlawumbe enkundleni enobungane nawe ukuthola kunzima ukubiza inhlawulo encane. Khona-ke kungcono ukukutshela ngokuqondile ukuthi awukwazi nokuthi unamahloni kanjani ukubiza lezi zinkulumo. Le mishwana izoba yindwendwe kuwe. Futhi kuyoba ngcono ngawe kunokuba kwadingeka udideke, cindezela amagama ngaphandle kwakho.

Ungazibophezeli ngokwakho. Abantu abanamahloni bacabanga ukuthi abanesithakazelo kubantu abakuzungezile, bona, ngaphambi kokusho noma yini, pheqela kuwo wonke amagama emakhanda abo, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo bacabange ukuthi babonakala bengenangqondo. Mhlawumbe, abaningi bangathanda ukukhuluma nawe, kodwa akulula kakhulu ukuthola ulimi oluvamile, ubhekwa njengomuntu ozikhukhumezayo nokuzikhukhumezayo, futhi amahloni athathwa ngokuziqhenya. Ungasindiswa ngendaba yokuxoxisana, ngakho-ke okuningi okujabulisayo kuzokhuluma. Ungacabangi ngalokho abakucabangayo ngawe, nokuthi ubheka kanjani, kodwa mayelana nendaba yengxoxo. Zamukele wena njengoba ukhona.

Udinga ukuxhumana nabantu kaningi ukuze ufunde ukukhuluma. Okokuqala, phendula okwesikhashana imibuzo futhi uthole imininingwane eningi. Zibuze imibuzo. Futhi uma isihloko sijabulisa kubo bobabili abantu, khona-ke ingxoxo izoqhubeka nokuphila okujabulisayo, futhi kuzoba khona ukuhamba kancane. Ngezinye izikhathi uma ukhuluma ngokuthula, awuzwanga ngenxa yalokhu. Awudingi ukukhamuluka, kodwa uma kunesidingo, khuluma kakhudlwana.

Kudingekile ukuxhuma izenzo nezenzo zobuso. Vumela umxhumanisi wakho abone indlela osabela ngayo. Ngokuvamile shayela i-interlocutor ngegama, abantu bathanda ukubizwa ngegama labo lokuqala. Ukuxhumana kwamehlo kubalulekile, kanti ukukhuluma akubheki phansi, noma eceleni, ngoba umxhumanisi uzozizwa engakhululekile. Futhi, akufanelekile ukubheka, ngaphandle kokubheka amehlo akho ebusweni bakho, kungcono ukubuka phakathi kwamashiya we-interlocutor.

Ukuze ube nokuzijabulisa ngokwengeziwe, udinga ukubhalisa kwizifundo zomdanso. Lapho usesidlangalaleni uzofunda ukunyakaza okulula, kusiza ukwandisa ukuzethemba kwakho, ukunqoba ukuzethemba kwakho. Futhi uma ufunda ukuba nomzimba wakho, kuzosiza ezingxoxweni nabantu ukuba bakhululeke ngokwengeziwe.

Thumela ngaphezulu, ngoba ukumomotheka okuqotho kuyisimo esihle sokuxhumana. Ngakho, ubonisa ubungane. Ukumomotheka kuzothambile kahle futhi ugcwalise ingxoxo isikhashana. Uma umuntu engazi ukuthi aziphathe kanjani emphakathini, kunganciphisa ukukhula komsebenzi wakhe.

Ngaphambi kokuba ukhulume, gxila enkulumweni yakho, futhi hhayi nhlobo ngokuthi ubukeka kanjani. Ukwesaba ukukhuluma ngomphakathi kuyinto evamile kakhulu. Lungiselela inkulumo yakho kusengaphambili bese uyivuselela. Ungayifundi ephepheni, vele ubheke kuso. Buka i-intonation yakho, ungaboni, ungakhulisi ijubane lokukhuluma, shiya imisho ngokucacile.

Phakathi kwezilaleli bathola abantu abazwelayo kuwe futhi babheke ngesikhathi sokusebenza. Uzonikezwa ukuzethemba ngokusekela kwabo ngaphandle. Uma kukhona ikhefu noma into oyikhohliwe, ungagcini. Ikhefu lizobheka inkulumo futhi ikwenze ulalele. Buka izikhulumi, njengoba umphakathi uthatha kubo, ukuthi abantu banamathela kanjani. Isibonelo, ngaphambi kokuthi lesi sikhulumi senze ukubhuka okungenangqondo, abantu abakuzungezile kanye naye, ngokushesha bahleka, bakhohlwa. Esikhathini sokungabikho konke ukubukeka okubuhlungu kukhona konke ukuhlukumezeka. Ngokuvamile ukhuluma nezilaleli, futhi uxhumana nabantu, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka okuncane uzothola.

Ungaba kanjani uma amahloni akho ekuvimbela ukuba ungazi obulili obuhlukile. Lapho insizwa iphendukela kuwe, futhi ulokhu uzikhukhumeza noma ukhululekile. Isizathu sakho konke ukuhlazeka kwakho. Wena nje awukwazi ukuthi uziphathe kanjani esimweni esinjalo, okudingayo ukusho. Phela, lokhu kuyisakhono nje sokufunda ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani, udinga, okokuqala, ukuxhumana. Ukuxoxisana kufana nomdanso, udansa, nomuntu uhola, futhi umsebenzi wakho uzoba ngedwa noma ungene enkulumweni yakhe. Engxoxweni udinga ukusekela isinyathelo somuntu, ungaphenduli kubantu abangakhohlisi, khuluma ngokuningiliziwe. Uma uphazamisa ngesikhatsi ingxoxo, i-interlocutor yakho ingazizwa ingakhululekile. Ngitshele ukuthi unamahloni futhi umcele ukuba alwe namahloni ndawonye.

Indlela yokuzijabulisa

Ukukwazi kuphela ukukhuluma kuzosiza umuntu ukuba athole ukuqashelwa futhi ngesivinini ukwenza umsebenzi. Futhi uma ushiwo ukuthi uzoxoxa nomholi, futhi kusukela emcabangweni wokuthi kufanele wenze umbiko, ufuna ukugijima, lapho amehlo abukeka khona. Izandla zakho zinezinkathazo ngokwesaba, ziphaphathekile noma ziluhlaza. Awunjalo yini uhlobo lomuntu? Uyakhumbula noma yiliphi isilaleli, ungumuntu ongenesibindi, uyaqiniseka ngalokhu?

Isimo esinjalo senzeke, ngisho nalabo bantu okukhulumisana nomphakathi kuwumsebenzi. Umbhalo owake wakhuluma ngawo izikhathi eziningi ngaphambi kokuba umphakathi ukhohliwe, akekho, wavele ephuma ekhanda lakhe. Futhi kuthiwani ngalabo bantu abajabulela injabulo ngaphambi kokusebenza. Ukujabula okulula kuyinto evamile, futhi uma ungeke ukwazi ukuzola futhi usabe kakhulu. Okubi nakakhulu, lapho umuntu ezolile ngaphambi kokusebenza, futhi ngesikhathi esibucayi kakhulu, angathola injabulo kangangokuthi akakwazi ukuxhuma amagama amabili. Ungabhekana kanjani nalokhu? Indlela yokuphakamisa umbuzo obuhlungu, indlela yokwenza abantu balalele umbono wakho, kanjani ungabakhubekisi abakho, ukuthi ungabamba kanjani iphrezentheshini noma wenze umbiko, ukuze labo abazobe bekhona bazokwenyuka?

Ukuze ubonise amakhono akho we-oratorical nawe emsebenzini, zama ukuqala nabathandekayo bakho. Ubani abanye kodwa bazokusekela futhi bakuqonde uma kungaboni kahle futhi kube namahloni. Khuluma kumbuthano womndeni. Cabanga ngakho konke okushoyo, hlaziya ngokwakho. Khuluma ngosuku lokuzalwa, imikhosi yomndeni, imishado, ukugujwa, bese uzama inkampani encane. Futhi uma uzizwa unamandla akho, qaphela ukukhuluma enkomfeni, seminar, fly, umhlangano wokukhiqiza.

Cabanga ngenkulumo yakho, futhi uma ulahlekile, bhala phansi bese ufunda ngenhliziyo. Phela, ulimi lwangaphandle lufundiswa ngosizo lwekhanda imibhalo nemishwana, futhi lapho kukhulunywa khona, kubonakala sengathi kuvela. Ngokuqeqesha ukukhuluma ungasebenzisa indlela efanayo.

Kuyasiza ukucaphuna okuhle, incazelo yezimo ezidabukisayo nezihle, ama-anecdotes. Khumbula ukuthi ubangele ukuhleka, isithakazelo sangempela kanye nokumangala. Uma unayo izindaba ezinkampanini yakho ye-piggy, isikhulumi esithakazelisayo noma i-interlocutor uzoba yilapho kuyoba lula ukuxhumana nawe. Lezi zindaba "zigijima nxazonke" futhi zifunde ukuthi zingazifaka kanjani. Omunye umholi ohlakaniphile kakhulu waphazamisa inkulumo yakhe engaphansi kwesihluku emshweni owodwa, ngaphandle kokuphakamisa izwi: "Masiyikuguqula le ngxoxo ibe yisikole sokunyundela."

Kuzo zonke izikhathi, sebenzisa imisho embalwa eyenziwe ngomumo. Ngesiqiniseko futhi ngokucacile funda ukusho, ngenkathi uhleka. Emva kwalokho, kuphakama isimo esihle esingakuvumeli ukuba ucindezele. Ukuvula umnyango ongajwayelekile, bonga, bese umomotheka. Lokhu kufanele kube yi-subtext enjalo: "Ngize futhi ngiyajabula kuwe." Ngisho noma wenza iphutha ngomnyango, uxolise ngobuqotho, uxolise, futhi awufuni lutho olubi kulaba bantu abaphazamiseke. Funda ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngokuthi "yebo" no "cha", ukuze kungabikho muntu ongakhubekisa kuwe futhi impendulo yakho yamukelwa ngenjabulo.

Ubuciko obuhle - ukuphendula imibuzo ehlukahlukene engathandeki. Muva nje, umculi owaziwayo uhlambalaza intatheli owabuza umbuzo ongenacala. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungenzeka ukuyibiza ngokuthi isenzo esifanele, akunakwenzeka. Futhi omunye umuntu owaziwayo owaziwayo ohlelweni olunjalo, obizwa ngokuthi "The Sharks of the Feather", waphendula ngokuphakama imibuzo enzima kunazo zonke intatheli azizwa ngesikhathi esifanayo njengokungathi wayethule ngokuphelele. Mhlawumbe unakekele ingxoxo yodumo olufanayo, okuvame ukuthi ngeziqephu ezihlukene kunezimpendulo ezifanayo, nakuba izintatheli ezibhala ngazo zihlukile. Akusizo ngalutho ukuthi bathi impromptu engcono kakhulu ilungiselelwe kahle.

Ungakhohlwa ukubonga, ngoba ibonisa izinga eliphezulu lesikhungo sakho. Phela, emsebenzini kukhona izikhathi ezihlukahlukene uma kukhona okudingeka kuceliwe: ukudlulisa kwesinye isikhathi, ukuthola ikhefu lomthetho, ukukhulisa umholo, ukubambezeleka noma ukuhamba ekuseni nokunye. Ngezinye izikhathi ukuvunyelwa noma ukwenqatshwa kuncike efomini oyisebenzisayo. Qaphela izwi lakho - akukho lutho, ukujwayela, ukukhwabanisa, isicelo esisodwa kuphela.

Okudingayo ukukwenza uma umenywe emhlanganweni webhizinisi obaluleke kakhulu, awukwazi noma ubani, futhi udinga ukujwayele abantu abalungile. Ungathukutheli, zama ukuqhuba kuqala futhi ujwayelane nomuntu emgwaqweni. Emgwaqeni on line, khetha umuntu onobungane umbono wakho bese uqala ingxoxo yakho nombuzo othi "Awucabangi ukuthi umgca awuhambisani na?" Noma ubuze omunye umbuzo futhi ungaphuthelwa isimo. Cela usizo noma umbuze nganoma yini. Into esemqoka ayiphatheki uma ungafuni ukuxhumana. Umuntu ngamunye unenkinga yakhe, futhi mhlawumbe ngalesi sikhathi, lo muntu akahlose ukuxhumana nhlobo.

Ngesikhathi sokubamukela okubalulekile, sebenzisa imibuzo ethize ukuze uthole impendulo eningiliziwe engabangela ukwazi okude. Umbuzo ojwayelekile uzoba uma ubuza umbuzo othi "Uthanda iqembu?". Futhi umbuzo onjengokuthi "Uthanda kanjani inkulumo yomongameli wenkampani?" Noma "Ucabangani ngephathi lelo nkampani elungiselele yona?", Kuzobe sekukhona imibuzo ecacile. Dumisani izesekeli zebhizinisi nezembatho ozithandayo. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, ukujwayelana kwabalingani ababili bebhizinisi ebhizinisini kwaqala ngemuva komlingani oyedwa ehlonipha ipeni legolide lomunye.

Uma ungumchwepheshe omuhle, ufuna ukuthola umsebenzi eqenjini elihloniphekile, kodwa liyinkimbinkimbi futhi lihlezi lapho ukhuluma nabantu abangabazi. Yini okufanele ngiyenze, indlela yokunqoba lo mahloni kimi? Cabanga ngomlando weqiniso, ucabange ngezimpendulo ezincane ezinemibuzo ehlukahlukene engajabulisayo, kungani ushiye le nkampani edumile. Tshela le nganekwane phambi kwesibuko, bese ubheka amehlo akho. Uma usengababaza, zama ukuhlola izihlobo zakho, bese uya ngesibindi empini.

Ngisho nalapho ungasakwazi ukuqeda umuzwa wokwesaba, zicabange wena inkulumo evuselelayo efana nokuthi "ukufa okubili akukwenzeki, umuntu akakwazi ukudlula." Njengoba uDale Carnegie efundisa, cabanga ukuthi bonke abantu ezilalelini kufanele bakhokhe imali. Wake waphawula ukuthi nje ukuthukuthela nokufutheka kukunika amandla?

Noma yimuphi umsebenzi oyingxenye enkulu ukuhlobana "ukudayiswa-ukuthenga". Ngokwezinga elithile, sonke singabathengisi nabathengi, siyazi ukuthi kule ndawo kubalulekile ukugcina nokuxhumana nabantu abaningi, ukuba nithandane. Isibonelo, thatha ukukhala kwabadayisi ekuhwebeni komgwaqo. Njengomthetho, ukukhala okunjalo akusithinti, kodwa umuntu anganikeza izimpahla zakhe ukuze sithenge le nto engadingekile. Lokhu kwenzeka kanjani?

Omunye wesifazane wangitshela ukuthi ngandlela-thile wayehamba ngesitimela, lapho abathengisi behamba khona nezimpahla zabo. Izwi lomthengisi oyedwa lalinomqondo othile oyimfihlo, wayethengisa amasethi amagalasi ewayini e-crystal, izibuko nezibuko zewayini. Wayegqoke kahle, akazange aphume, kodwa indaba yakhe ayikwazanga ukuqedwa. Umthengisi wayenesithakazelo esikhulu, ngobuqotho futhi ngokufudumele wathi izibuko zakhe ziphefumula futhi aziwa, izibuko zicula ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuzithenga, nakuba lo wesifazane wayenelutho ngalokhu okuhle.

Yiqiniso, umdayisi wakho kufanele azi kahle izimpahla zakhe, amthokozise. Kwaphawulwa ukuthi izigcawu ezithandwa ngabadayisi zithengiswa kakhulu, kunokuba zisebenze futhi zihle. Ukwazi ukuphuma esimweni esinzima kakhulu nesithunzi. Buza umthengi othukuthele lokho akufunayo, uma ushintsha nje umkhiqizo, bese ushintsha, uma ufuna ukuthola isaphulelo, mnike lesi saphulelo ngesimo esithile nokunye.

Zitholele isibonelo. Isibonelo, uthanda ukuthi umakhelwane noma umsebenzi uxhumana kanjani nabantu. Bheka ukuthi uphendula kanjani imibuzo, ubabuza ukuthi uhamba kanjani. Yini evimbela wena ekuziphatheni kahle? Yenza okusemandleni akho. Kunjengozi ukwazi ulimi lwangaphandle, ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani, lamakhono angalahleka kalula, ngaphandle kokusebenza. Qeqesha njalo, tshela i-anecdote kumuntu osebenza naye, udumise izingubo ezintsha zobhala unobhala, uhleke isisebenzi esiphezulu. Naphezu kokuzikhandla kwakho, shayela amakhasimende akho endala, uxoxe nabo, uthi bangcono kakhulu, futhi awukhohlwa ngabo futhi ukhumbule.

Manje uyazi ukuthi ungafunda kanjani ukukhulumisana nokukhuluma. Umsebenzi wakho uzoba ukuziphatha ngokungenakuvinjelwa futhi ukhululekile, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo uhlale umuntu onesizotha, ukuveza imicabango yakho ngokucacile futhi ukwazi ukuxhumana kalula. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuba wenze isinyathelo sokuqala empumelelweni, bese kunoma yiliphi iqembu uzoba ngumuntu ocacile. Emandleni akho ukuze ujwayele abantu abakuzungezile, futhi wenze ukuba baziphendule futhi babe nomusa.