Kodwa yini eqondiswa owesifazane lapho ekhetha indoda nokuthi angaqonda kanjani uma indoda ifanele owesifazane?
Lapho ukhetha okhethiwe, abesifazane bahlale beqaphela futhi beqaphele. Wonke owesifazane ufuna ukuba nendoda engakwazi ukuthembela ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngubani ongathemba, eduze nokuthi ubani ozizwa evikelekile futhi ethandwa. Abesifazane bathanda abantu abathandekayo, abathandekayo, abanakekelayo, futhi abakwazi ukuma bengacabangi, behlambalaza futhi bebugovu. Futhi isibonakaliso esibalulekile ukuthi indoda ilungile kangakanani, indlela eziphatha ngayo, lokho akushoyo.
Okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, lona wesifazane ungumama nomgcini wendlu, ngakho-ke ngokungaqondakali komuntu wesifazane, le ndoda ayikho enye ngaphandle kokuqhubeka komndeni, ngenxa yalokho, ukhetho lomuntu kuvame ukuba kwenziwe ezingeni elingenakuqonda. Lokhu kuthonywa yizinto eziningi ezihlobene nokuphila kowesifazane nesipiliyoni sakhe sangaphambilini. Abesifazane kaningi bathi bathanda uhlobo oluthile lwamadoda. Lokhu kusho ukuthi yilolu hlobo lwamadoda abheka ukuthi lungcono kakhulu ekuqhubekeni kohlobo lwakhe. Abanye besifazane bacabanga ukuthi amadoda amahle kunawo wonke ayengcono kakhulu kule ndima, abanye bangabantu abahlakaniphile kakhulu, abanye bajabule kakhulu, njll Noma kunjalo, ngezinye izikhathi ukukhethwa komlingani wokuphila kuphela ezingeni lezinto eziphilayo akuphumelelanga ngokuphelele futhi ngokuvamile kuholela ekuphuleni ubudlelwane, ngenxa yokubaluleka okukhulu yizinto ezivamile, izintshisekelo, ukuziphatha okuhlanganyelwe kwesikhathi, njll. Emva kokukhetha okungaphumelelanga komlingani wezinqubo eziphilayo, owesifazane "uvula amehlo akhe", udlula lolo thando lwothando futhi uyaqaphela ukuthi le ndoda yayinakho ngokuphelele ezifana wayengenayise "ukudweba", futhi leso sifiso ku ezingeni esesimweni sokungaphili ngokuphelele kungesilo kanye nenqubomgomo kuphela Ukukhetha.
Amantombazane amaningi abeka umbuzo ofanayo: "Ukuqonda kanjani ukuthi umuntu ufanele owesifazane"? Kumele kuqashelwe ukuthi izivivinyo zengqondo kule ndaba zisekelwe ngokuyinhloko ezindinganisweni zomphakathi nezengqondo, ngoba kubona kubo abangakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi umuntu ufanelwe yini owesifazane. Uma sikhuluma ngezinqubo zomphakathi, kusho ukuzimela kwezezimali kwamadoda, isimo senhlalo, injongo ekuphileni, ukubuka umhlaba, isimo sengqondo emndenini. Ngokuqondene nenqubo engokwengqondo, kuhambisana nokulingana ngokomzwelo, umuzwa wokuhlonipha, ukunakekela, ukuqondana. Ngakho-ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni ukuthi indoda ifanelwe owesifazane kokubili izinqubo zomphakathi nezengqondo.
Qonda ukuthi indoda ifanelwe owesifazane nayo ingenza ngokuziphatha kwayo kanye nesimo sengqondo sayo. Uhlonipha umbono wakhe, umnakekele, njalonjalo. Kubalulekile ukuthi owesifazane uzizwa ekhululeke phambi kwalowo muntu, ukuthi ucabangani ngaye, njengoba esho. Uma ukuziphatha kwakhe noma izwi lakhe lishaya amanothi okucasuka noma ukungahloniphi, khona-ke le ndoda ayihambisani nayo. Umlingani wesikhathi esizayo kufanele enze ukuthi owesifazane abe nemizwa emihle kakhulu futhi emihle, umuzwa ojabulisayo wenjabulo nenjabulo emhlanganweni lo muntu.
Ngezinye izikhathi amantombazane, ehlangane nesikhathi esithile nomfana noma ngisho ehlala naye emshadweni womshado, masenze isiphetho sokuthi nguye lo ofanelwe ukuba ngumyeni noyise wezingane zakhe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abahlale benaka ezinye izinkinga kanye nokungaphumeleli ebuhlotsheni babo, kubonakala sengathi baqala ukuzibheka. Ngokwezengqondo ze-psychologists, yilokho ukungabi nalutho okuholela ekuqedeni kwemishado. Kufanele kukhunjulwe ukuthi uhlamvu lomuntu lwakhiwa eminyakeni yobudala kuze kube yiminyaka emithathu. Futhi uma indoda ihlukumeza futhi ingamhloniphi owesifazane ngaphambi komshado, emva kwalokho iyozibonakalisa kwifomu elingavamile nakakhulu.
Uma ucabanga ngomshado, cabangela zonke izici nama-nuances. Ngabe umuntu wayefana nobani ngaphambili, ukuthi ngabe wakunikeza yini izipho, wakunakekela, noma wayethanda ukuchitha isikhathi ezinkampanini ezinomsindo ngaphandle kokuba khona kwakho, akuguqule, angaphakamisa isandla sakho, njll. Qinisekisa izinzuzo nezingozi, Ungakwazi yini ukuvumelanisa nayo yonke imininingwana yayo bese uhlala nayo yonke impilo yakho. Ngokungangabazeki, ebuhlotsheni nawe udinga ukulalela lokho inhliziyo yakho ekushoyo, kepha "ukulahlekelwa ikhanda" nakho akufanele. Uthando luyashesha futhi luhle uma lushintshwa uthando lomunye, hhayi ukudumala nokucasuka.
Uma owesifazane ekhetha indoda efanelana naye, ukuzwa uthando kuyomane futhi kukhule. Phela, uthando lusekelwe emizweni, ukusondelana, izithakazelo ezivamile, ukwethemba, inhlonipho.