Phakathi nalesi sikhathi sokuphila, indoda ihluke kakhulu ekuziphatheni kwayo futhi ihlale ifuna unecala kuzo zonke izinkinga zayo futhi ingabi nethemba langempela. Ezimweni ezinjalo, abesifazane abaningi baphakamisa izandla zabo, bengazi ukuthi bangasiza kanjani umyeni wakhe basinde enkingeni yobudala obuphakathi.
Yini ochwepheshe abathi?
Njengoba ochwepheshe benquma phakathi nalesi sikhathi, indoda ivame ukubuka emuva, futhi, ukuhlola konke ukufaneleka kwayo nokuhluleka kwayo, igxila ngaphezulu kokugcina. Ngakho-ke, egcizelela ukuthi iningi lokuphila lidlulile, nakho konke analo msebenzi ongathandeki, akuyona nje umfazi osemusha, izingane, angaziqondi ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi eziningi eziningi "azifani." Uma kudala, impilo isetshenziswa ize. Ngisho noma umuntu ephumelela emsebenzini wakhe, futhi enza into ayithandayo, futhi ngaphandle kwayo yonke imithwalo engenhla naye unezimpahla ezinhle namathemba amaningi esikhathini esizayo, uzothola umgomo angazange afinyelele, noma ukuthi yini okufanele ayithole.
Kubantu abaningi, ukukhishwa kwempahla kubonakala sengathi kuyindlela yokuphuma kwezimo ezinjalo, kulokhu babona ithuba lokuqala impilo entsha, hhayi ukuphinda amaphutha esikhathini esidlule. Njengesijwayelekile, owesifazane uthathwa njengowesifazane omncane kakhulu, futhi kumnandi ukuba umuntu aqaphele ukuthi angakudonsela ukunakekelwa komuntu osemncane, nokuthi emehlweni akhe ungumuntu ophephile futhi onokwanele, hhayi umfundi ohluphekile, noma oqalayo, eme ngezinyawo zakhe, usomabhizinisi.
Yiqiniso, ezimweni ezinjalo, umfazi otholayo kakhulu, ngubani, ngaphandle kokuphoqeleka ukufeza yonke imisebenzi yakhe yangaphambili, futhi ulalele ukuhlambalaza kwabathembekile futhi amkhuthaze ngezinye izikhathi nge-crazy little whim, futhi avame ukukhuthazelela ukuhlubuka. Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini, cabanga ngendlela ongasiza ngayo umyeni wakho ukuba asinde enkingeni yobudala obuphakathi.
Yini ongayeluleka umngane wakho womshado esikhathini esinjalo sokuphila kwakhe okuthembekile, mhlawumbe, kuphela ukubekezela namandla, okuyophela konke.
Indlela yokuqaphela?
Isibonakaliso esikhulu esithi "konke sekuqalile" kuyoba ushintsho ekuziphatheni komyeni wakhe. Uma othandekayo eqala ukushintsha isitayela sakhe sokugqoka, ukugqoka izinwele, mhlawumbe ngisho nezinwele zakhe, ukukhathalela ngokukhethekile ukubonakala kwakhe nokuncane - emndenini, futhi ngezinye izikhathi futhi engxoxweni yakhe futhi engxoxwa kakhulu kunomuntu osemusha - qinisa, yilokho. Kodwa hhayi ukuthi konke kufanele kube kubi kakhulu, inkinga yobudala obuphakathi ibonakala kuwo wonke umuntu ngokuhlukile, umuntu unokuningi, omunye unomncane. Kukhona kungenzeka ukuthi izimpawu zakhe, okuthiwa izimpawu, zizobonakala kuphela ebuhlotsheni bakho naye, ngaphandle kokuthinta, wonke umuntu ozungezile. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, lo muntu uzama ukuzishintsha yena, nokuphila kwakhe, ngenkathi ekhohlwa ukuthi ngaphezu kwakhe, kukhona abanye abantu abayingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwakhe. Lokhu kuboniswe ngokucacile ezingxoxweni nasezenzo zakhe, izifiso kanye nezifiso ezintsha, ezingahlali zihlonishwa izihlobo ngezikhathi zonke. Ngokuvamile, ezimweni ezinjalo, indoda, njengasekukhuleni, ibhekene nokungaqondani okungaqondakali ukuthi ngisho nangokwengeziwe kuyamkhuthaza ukuba abonise izwe ukuthi iminyaka yakhe ayiyona umkhawulo, nokuthi konke ukuphila akukaze kwenzeke. Kodwa ngokwezinga elikhulu, konke lokhu kubonakala kuye kuphela, futhi umfazi uba ngumhlobo wokuphuza amanzi, okungaba ukungaqondi abanye, akazange adlale indima ebalulekile.
Sekuyisikhathi sokwenza.
Njengoba ukuhlakanipha kwabantu bakudala kuthi: "Ngamazwi angikwazi ukusiza usizi," ngakho-ke lapho zonke izimpawu, sekuyisikhathi sokwenza ubuso bakho. Ukusiza umyeni wakhe basinde kule nkinga kungenzeka kuphela ngemizamo ngokwakho. Ngakho kuvela ukukhathazeka, ubunzima obuphakathi phakathi komyeni wakhe, futhi basebenzele ababili. Okokuqala, udinga ukuqoqa wonke amandla, ukubekezela nokuqonda okuvamile, futhi noma yini eyenzekayo, ungagcini ekuboniseni okucacile kwemizwelo, ikakhulukazi emibi. Zenze sengathi wenza kahle, ngisho noma eqinisweni akude neze. Ungasho izinto ezimbi ngaye, kuthiwani ngobaba - ezinganeni, kuthiwani ngomyeni nomuntu-kubazali bakhe, nakwabo, abangani nabangane abajwayele, ngisho nakakhulu kuye. Ungaphelelwa yithemba uma imisebenzi kapapa manje isetshenziswe kancane emahlombe akho, kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi usengumama, futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, umama othandekayo kakhulu. Kamuva uzobonga ngemizamo enjalo. Vimbela imemori yakho ukucinga zonke izikhathi eziphawulekayo ezihlobene nemisebenzi yomyeni wakhe. Mayelana nezinsizakalo zakho ezweni lebaba kanye nomndeni okwesikhashana, ukhohlwa. Ngokuvamile ngezibonelo zokudlula, faka kumyeni wakho ukuthi uzuze okuningi, ukuthi impilo isenhle, futhi ukuthi useyathandwa futhi ethandekayo njenganini ngaphambili. Ukwazi ukumbonisa ukuthi uyamlandela kuze kube sekupheleni kwezwe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unjani izinwele zezinwele zakhe, ubuningi bawo, nendlela yokugqoka, ngaphandle kokukhohlwa ukuqaphela ukuthi leyo yangaphambili yayingekho lutho neze. Kungcono uma ungitshela ukuthi abangane bakho bakutshele ngakho noma ngezwi elizwakalayo esivela kumfana ongaziwayo.
Okukhethwa kukho kungase kube yiholide elihlangene, okuyinto empeleni, umyeni wakho kufanelekile, futhi noma ngabe yikuphi ukufeza iphupho lakhe elibalulekile, noma ukuhlanganyela kulo mdlalo wokuzilibazisa, noma ngabe yini.
Kulo mlando kunomzuzu omuhle wabesifazane. Isikhathi esinjalo njenganini ngaphambili, kuyisikhathi esihle kakhulu futhi ucabanga ngokubukeka kwakho, futhi uzinakekele. I-beauty salons, i-gym, i-wardrobe ebuyekeziwe izovumela umyeni wakho ukuba akubheke kusuka ekhoneni elisha, futhi aqale ukuziqhenya ukuthi unomfazi onjalo, futhi kulula ukubhekana nenkinga yobudala obuphakathi.
Kubuye kwenzeke ukuthi yonke imizamo yomfazi ngesikhathi esisodwa iphuma ngokuhamba kwabaqotho "ngakwesobunxele," futhi iphinde iphindwe. Ngokujwayelekile "ukwelapha" okunjalo akupheli iminyaka engaphezu kwemibili, futhi akuthwali lutho, kanti uma inkosikazi inxusa umyeni wakhe ukuba ashiye umndeni wakhe, emva kokuphela kwesikhathi esifanele, abahlubuki ngokuvamile bavame ukufika emngceleni kumfazi wangaphambili futhi. Kunzima ukulwa nalokhu, futhi kungenangqondo, ngoba uma wanquma ukuhamba, kusho ukuthi kuzokwenza. Lapha indaba ihluke kakhulu. Ngemuva kokushintsha okunjalo, ikakhulukazi uma ucabangela konke ndawonye, kubalulekile ukucabanga ukuthi uyadingeka yini, lokhu akuyona inkathi encane kaMatshi? Kodwa kuphezu kwakho.