Izingane zizalwa ngezici zabo eziyingqayizivele, imikhuba nemikhuba, ubumnene. Kuyinto engafanele ukulindela intombazane enhle kakhulu ukuthi iyoba ibhola, futhi kusukela ekungenayo ukuzwa okuphelele - ukuthi uzophinda impumelelo kaVanessa May.
Kodwa abanye abazali impilo yabo yonke bakhumbula ukuthemba kwabo okungagcwaliseki kwezingane zabo. Futhi-ke, izingane, ukhathele ukulwa ukuze uthole ilungelo lokuziba, zibuze: kanjani ukwenza ukuze abazali baqonde ukuthi wakhula? Ungabasiza kanjani ukuthi bazamukele - ngendlela oyiyo?
Izingane ... Kakhulu kangakanani kuleli gama elihle kubazali! Amathemba abo kanye nezifiso zabo, amaphupho abo nakho konke abangenawo isikhathi sokwenza kuleli zwe - konke lokhu kufanele kutholakale yizingane. Kodwa kufanele?
Ilungelo lephutha
Izingane isikhathi eside zinika abazali izici ezifanele kakhulu onkulunkulu. Futhi la bantwana "onkulunkulu bendawo" bakholelwa ngamaphesenti angamakhulu. Ubaba nguye oqine kakhulu. Umama ubuhle kakhulu. Kuze kube yiminyaka emihlanu umhlaba wezingane ususelwe ngokuqondile kulezi zithunyelwe.
Kodwa le nqubo - isabelo sezimfanelo zikaNkulunkulu - iyavumelana. Emahlweni abazali, izingane ziyizinto ezibonakalayo zethemba. Umsebenzi onzima, okhandlayo ngaphandle kwezinsuku ezikude - inqubo yemfundo kanye nje nokutshalwa kwesizukulwane esincane - ngingathanda ukulungiswa kusengaphambili ngemiphumela emnandi.
Futhi-ke, izingane zikhula, mhlawumbe zijabule nabazali abanezitifiketi ezihlukahlukene zokubonga "zokubamba iqhaza" nemindeni "yokufeza." Kodwa isikhathi sifike lapho izingane zingena emdala.
Ngokujwayelekile ukuhlolwa kokuqala, okuyinto ewela engxenyeni yengane, kuwuqedile futhi kufike ukuhlolwa. Abantu abaningi baya kubo, njengokungathi ukubulawa, becabanga ukuthi bangaqiniseka kanjani ukuthi abazali bayaqonda ukuthi wakhula. Futhi esikhundleni sobufakazi bathola i-bun (kuhlelekile, banikezwe!), Noma enye inkomishi (edidekile, ayizange idlule, awukhanyisi ekolishi elihle!)
Futhi into ukuthi abazali kufanele bathembele ezinganeni zabo okokuqala. Ngemuva kwakho konke, uma uqinisekisa ibhuthini elineminyaka emithathu ubudala, elivimba ngokuzethemba endleleni, akudingi lutho, khona-ke ngeke ukwazi ukudlulisa ukuhlolwa kwengane yakho. Ngakho-ke kuvela ukuthi abazali banemizwa emibili. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, indodakazi yabo isivele ikhulile, njengoba yenza izinto angabhekene nayo kuphela - hhayi unina noma uyise ongayenza yona. Futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi - uyaqhubeka nokuhlala nabazali bakhe ...
Ukuphila nabazali
Izingane ezineminyaka edala ubudala zihlale zihlala eduze nabazali bazo. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo bacabanga ukuthi bangakwenza kanjani ukuze abazali baqonde ukuthi wakhula. Njengokuthi umshado noma umshado, ukuzalwa kwezingane noma isihloko esisha sesayensi kungenziwa ukuze abazali baqonde ukuthi wakhula. Eqinisweni, kubazali bethu njalo siyizingane ...
Ukuhlala nabazali akulula. Futhi kuzo zonke izimo eziphilayo kukhona iziqinisekiso ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi abazali baba nesihluku futhi bangabi nabulungisa. Ngemuva kwalokho, akusizo lutho ukuthi izinkukhu ezivilaphayo zixoshwa esidlekeni, ukuze zifunde ukuhamba.
Kubantu, futhi, kuvame ukuthi kwenzeka ukuthi ukuhlala nabazali njalo ngonyaka kunzima kakhulu. Ngokuvamile abazali abazi ukuthi lokhu, kodwa iqiniso lihlala. Ukuhamba "esidlekeni somzali" ngokufuna "injabulo yakhe," noma kunalokho - impilo yakhe, siba namandla futhi sihlakaniphe. Ngaphandle kokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu, asikwazi ukunikeza lutho kubantwana bethu
Singabantwana. Uma nje abazali bephila
Ngokuvamile ukuphila kwabazali ekugugeni, lapho kungabangela izinkinga eziningi, kuqhathaniswa nokuthola emphethweni. Futhi ekugcineni kwaleli dwala, owokuqala kwalasha bangabantwana. Futhi izingane, ngenkathi zinezizukulwane "ezinqenqemeni", zizwa uziqiniseka ngokwengeziwe futhi zivikelekile nakakhulu.
Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu abasha bacabanga kanjani ukwenza abazali babo baqonde ukuthi usukhulile, le ndoda inehlaselelo. Ngakho-ke, impilo yethu yonke, ngisho nokufakazela ukuthi singabantwana besizukulwane esidala, sihlala izingane.
Ngesinye isikhathi ngashaywa umalume wami. Indodana yakhe yayivame ukucela imali yepokhethi, naphezu kokuba ehlangane futhi yahlala nowesifazane, yayisebenza njenge-welder futhi ikhanya njengenyanga njengomlindi webusuku. Lapho umalume ezama ukukwenza "isiphakamiso" - bathi, "awuboni yini ukuthi indodana yakho empeleni ikhulile kakade?" - Uncle wayiphendula ngokuhlakanipha kakhulu.
Uthi kuze kube manje, lapho efika kunina, uzizwa njengomntwana. Kulungile ngoba ekufikeni kwakhe amantombazane ambalwa avela ebuntwaneni bezingubo zakhe, futhi lapho ehamba, unina uzama "ukunikeza" okungenani imali encane. Ngakho uzizwa ukuthi kukhona indawo eyodwa ephephile futhi ephephile emhlabeni. Njengoba eqaphela ukuthi lokhu kuyisiyaluyalu, nokho, indoda eneminyaka engamashumi amane iya kumama wayo ukuba iphumule emithwalweni ehlala njalo futhi "impilo yabantu abadala".
Yeka ukuthi ungenzani
Kunezindlela eziningi ezingezona eziqinisekisiwe zokuvumela abazali bazi ukuthi sesivele sikhule. Lokhu kungukuthi, ngisho nezindlela eziguquguquke kakhulu ezingokwengqondo ngokuvamile zinikeza ukuhluleka futhi "ziphuthumayo." Kodwa nokho kunezindlela eziningi, KUNYE ukuboniswa (futhi ngisho nokunye - ukufakazela!) Abazali ukuthi usuvele ungumuntu omdala:
- ukushada kuphela "ukubonisa umama"
- ukubeletha ingane
- iya kwelinye idolobha
- Ukwakha amashalofu ahlukene esiqandisini endlini eyodwa nabazali.
Konke lokhu kungenza kube nzima ukuxabana, futhi kwezinye izimo - ukulimaza okuvusa kakhulu. Yiqiniso, futhi ubeletha, futhi ushade, ngisho nangaphezulu-ungahambisa kwenye idolobha. Kodwa nokho kubalulekile ukwenza lokhu, ube nezizathu ezinhle nesisekelo esibi - ukwazi ukuthi kungani wenza lokhu nokuthi yiziphi izinzuzo ezizokuletha.
Yiba ngokwakho, kodwa ungaqinisekisi kahle kuwo
Ungakwazi kalula futhi umane uqinisekise ukuzimela kwakho - ukuyeka isifiso sokufakazela nokulwa. Umbono wakho uyinto yokuqala, futhi iphuzu. Kungcono kuwe ukuthatha umthwalo wezenzo zakho. Futhi uma abazali "becindezela" - bathi, sekuyisikhathi sokushada, noma u-Ivan Ivanych unesikhundla esivelele kangaka - sishiye umsebenzi wakho ongenakuqhathaniswa! - uzodingeka uthi "cha" ngesikhathi. Ngaphandle kokuchazwa nokuncenga - ngaphandle kwalokho ubuyela eminyakeni yakho engu-15 futhi uyabubula abazali "Yebo, iminyaka yokuguquka!"
Ngokuvamile, iqiniso lokuthi ungakwazi ukuzisekela akuwona ubufakazi bokuzimela nokuvuthwa kwabazali. Uma umbono wabo ubalulekile kuwe, kodwa hhayi okusemqoka, uma uhlonipha isikhundla sabo, kodwa akukuvimbeli ukuba ubheke kuqala kwakho - kahle, ngiyakunithokozisa. Lokhu, ngisho nangaphandle kokungqubuzana, cishe usichazele abazali bakho ukuthi ukhulile.