Yisiphi isizathu sokulutha kwezidakamizwa kanye nendlela yokuzigwema?


Uqala ukuzibheka njengomuntu omdala, hhayi ngempela okwesikhashana, ngaphandle kokuyeka ukuba ngumntwana. Ngamehlo akhe, uba ngumuntu ozimele, kanti empeleni konke okuphambene nakho. Uyaziqinisekisa ukuthi unguMninimandla onke, ngaphandle kokwazi ukuthi ubuthakathaka kanjani. Noma nini lapho isandla sakhe sithinta iphakethe legwayi. Ngalezo zikhathi lapho utshwala lungena egazini lakhe. Usuku lapho yena, ingane, ethola izidakamizwa. Izwe elibonakalayo lihamba phambi kwakhe nalo lonke ukujula kwalo-ukuguquguquka-kodwa leli zwe lingaba kalula. Lapho iqiniso lakhe elinikezwa nguNkulunkulu lingase lingabi khona. Ungakuvimbela kanjani lokhu? Ungasiza kanjani? Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu - siyini isizathu sokulutha komuntu osemusha nokuthi ungakugwema kanjani?

Into ebaluleke kakhulu.

Zonke izizathu ziyisikhathi nje, izimbangela kuphela: eyodwa ngeke isebenze, enye izoxhuma. Uma kukhona, yiqiniso, isizathu sangempela. Ngokubanzi, kunezintathu kuphela zazo:

Isifiso . Yiqiniso, akuzona zonke izingane ezivezwa yizibonakaliso zalo, futhi uma umuntu kufanele azame ngalokhu futhi lokho, omunye akakhombisi nhlobo nanoma yini enye into enjalo. Umehluko ekubukeni kwezinto uzalwa ngokwahlukana kwezintshisekelo. Uma bebaningi futhi bephilile kusukela ebuntwaneni, amathuba ambalwa ebusheni ukubona okuthile okuyisisekelo nokungahambi kahle. Yingakho i-violinist-smoker osemncane noma umdlali wezemidlalo umqondo ongewona okhona. Uma-ke, isizathu sesibili asizange sithole indawo yaso kulezi zithombe.

• Ukuhlukumezeka. Izimpande zaso zingase zisencane, uma ngaleso sikhathi kuvinjelwe okuningi, uma igunya lomzali lenziwa, futhi izinsizi nezinjabulo ezinganeni zazingekho eduze kwenhliziyo. Njengoba ekhulile futhi ekhuliswe ezimweni ezinjalo, ingane, nayo yonke amandla omphefumulo wayo, ifuna ukuthola inkululeko ekulindeleke ukuba ibe yedwa, ngakho-ke, ngaphandle kokubuyiselwa emuva, iqala ukwenza konke okuzobangela ukunganaki nokulahlwa kwabazali. Mhlawumbe uyayiqonda ngokugcwele ubuhlungu bezenzo zakhe, futhi ukuchazwa ngokwembala ngemiphumela akudingi. Yilokho nje, njengendlela yomntwana, ngeke iqede kuze kube yilapho kungenzeka ukuthi lesi sitshalo siphume. Futhi lo moya ovukelayo ungadliwa yizihlubuki ezifanayo ezibalekele ekubanjeni kwasebuntwaneni. Ngendlela, mayelana namathonya. Kungase kube yimbangela eyimfihlo, igama layo

• Ukudangala. Uhla lwayo luvela eyokuqala "ngenkampanini" (uma umuntu efuna ukuba njengomuntu wonke) ngokubhekisele kakhudlwana "ekuphelelwe yithemba" (lapho kufana nomunye umuntu kuyindlela yokuphila). Kubangelwa emathonyeni angenampilo kusuka ohlangothini akuyona ukuxhumana okuqinile kwengane nendlu. Uma bengenandaba nokuzwana emndenini, intshisekelo encane ingane iboniswa ngabazali, okungenani ukuzethemba kwayo, ukubuthakathaka kwakhe ukuhlonipha isithunzi kanye nokwehluleka kwakhe ukusekela izithakazelo zomuntu futhi ukungazinaki imibono engezwelana kakhulu. Ngaphandle kokwesekwa okungokomoya kwabazali, ingane ishiywa yincenye eyinhloko yokuzivikela ekubhekaneni nalezi zilingo - indawo yokuphila ye-optimist.

Ungakuvimbela kanjani?

Uhlobo lwezinyathelo zokuzivikela, nakuba empeleni - nje kuphela indlela yokufundisa noma, ngamanye amazwi, abavikeli bomzali kusuka emalweni okuphila.

• Ubuhlobo bomndeni. Ukuze bazizwe bebodwa, ingane akufanele ibe yindleko yokulawulwa okuqinile kubazali. Lokhu kungabalwa ngendlela enhle ngendlela ehlanzekile - ngezicelo ezihloniphekile kanye nezijeziso ezihlakaniphile esikhundleni sezimfuno nemithetho, ngokuqonda nokuzwelana, hhayi ngokulahla, ngokukhuthaza ukujeziswa. Ukuze ufunde okuyisisekelo semfundo enhle akuyona inzima kakhulu-kwanele ukuqala ngokufunda incwadi enhle yomzali ohlakaniphile (abanjalo bashicilelwe!) Futhi ungayeki ukuzimela komzali wakho kusukela manje kuya (kuyajabulisa!).

• Ukhululekile ukuba wena. Kuvela lapho abazali bevuma kalula ubuntu bomntwana, ungabagxeka noma ubabeke icala lapho izingane zivunyelwe ukubonisa ukunganaki nokungavumelani, futhi zonke izifiso, noma kunjalo, zingakhuthazwa futhi zisekelwa.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uhlale uthola "igolide elisho" - ukungena ebuhlotsheni nomugqa wengane, lapho uthando nokukhathalela kunakekelwa ngaphandle kwemingcele. Lapho, kakade ukudluliselwa kwenkululeko kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo wokuziphatha kuhlotshaniswa nokungahloniphi nokunganakwa. Khumbula njalo: ukuziphatha kwengane yakho yempendulo yakhe esimweni sakho sengqondo kuye.

• Ukufinyelela kolwazi. Kuleyo ebonisa ngokucacile amandla ethonya lika-nicotine, utshwala nezidakamizwa emzimbeni womuntu. Kumele kube umxhwele, kodwa kungenjalo. Eyokuqala kulula ukuyifinyelela ngokomzwelo, futhi ukukhipha okwesibili, kubalulekile ukugwema ukucabangela okubalulekile kanye nokwaziswa. Yilokho, izifundo nezifundo "esihlokweni" zinomthelela omncane kakhulu kunokucatshangelwa kwezibonelo ezibukwayo, ezikhonjiswa uma kungenjalo ngokuphila okwenzeka endaweni ethile eduze, ke yi-X-ray noma imidwebo yamamyuziyamu.

Iphutha elivamile abazali abakwenzayo ukuthi bathi kabi kakhulu ngezidakamizwa, utshwala, kanye ne-nicotine. Futhi ngenkathi "ukuhlola" intombazane ihluke, bese inombono: "Ngikhohlisiwe." Inkumbulo yenjabulo etholakalayo igcinwe ngokungazi, ezingeni lomzimba, kodwa yithembeke kakhulu ekugcineni imininingwane.

Kubalulekile ukunikeza ulwazi oluqotho: yebo, lezi zinto ziletha injabulo, kodwa umuntu uyakhokha - impilo, ubudlelwane ngisho nokuphila. Abazali kudingeka bazilungiselele izingxoxo ezinjalo nengane yabo. Amagama afanele kufanele aqhutshwe abantu abanohloniphekile ezindabeni ezinjalo - othisha nabachwepheshe bezengqondo, kanye nalabo abavunyelwe ukwenza okuhlangenwe nakho okuhle.

• Amandla egunyaziwe nesibonelo somuntu siqu. Ngaphandle kwabo, zonke ezinye izinkanuko azivumelekile. Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubheka kanjani ukukholisa, ngombono wakho, ngamazwi mayelana nokuthi ngelinye ilanga ihhashi elithile lafa ngokudonsa kwe-nicotine ephuma ezindebeni zakho, bayohlala nje ngamazwi, uma wena ubhema.

Ungakugwema kanjani amaphutha?

Kunezinyathelo, ikhomishana engeyona kuphela eyenza imiphumela emihle, kodwa iphinde ikhulise isimo. Nakhu okuyingozi kakhulu kubo:

• Izikhalazo ezingenasisekelo. Ngokuvamile, abantu abadala bayasho ukuthi intsha iyinto enjengale: "Ngiyakubheka ukuthi usuvele ugwaya uqobo." Ukuzwa lokhu kusukela kubazali kuya kwengane akugcini nje ukuthuka. Incwadi kaJohn Gray ethi "Izingane Ezivela Ezulwini" ichaza umugqa wezizukulwane - isimo esingabonakali, esamukeleke ngokomthetho ngenhla abazali abahlala kuyo, beshiya izingane ngaphansi komhlaba - ngaphansi komugqa. Ukubusa okunjalo kwenza izizukulwane ezisencane zixhumane nezingqinamba ezingokomoya zabadala futhi zihlakulele ngokukhululekile izimfanelo ezidingekayo ukuze kube nokuphila okugcwele. Kuphela kubazali ukuphula lesi sikhundla sobukhosi ngokuziphatha kwabo okungalungile kumntwana - futhi kakade ngaphansi komugqa. Umntwana uthatha indawo yakhe, okungukuthi, empeleni, uba umzali kuye, kodwa ... Ngesikhathi esifanayo uphoqeleka ukuba adlule izigaba eziningi ezibalulekile zokuthuthukiswa kwakhe. Akunakutsho ukuthi lokhu kuzomvimbela ukuba aqhubeke nokuphila okuqhubekayo, kodwa uzobe engaphuthelwa kakhulu kulokhu kuphila. Isizungu somphefumulo, naphezu kolwandle lwabangani abakuzungezile - akuyona intengo yombhalo ozwakala kakhulu?

Ukumangalela ingane nakho kuyinkathazo, ukukhathazeka ngaye, kodwa yeka indlela abahlukana ngayo kuqala nokubili! Yiba neqiniso nengane yakho, funda ukukhuluma naye ngosizo lwemibono - nikeza amagama akhulunywe okunye okushiwo.

Iphutha elivame kakhulu labazali livinjelwe futhi kunqatshelwe. Isijeziso siphelela ngokuphelele isifiso hhayi kuphela ukusebenzisana nabazali, kodwa futhi ukuxhumana nabo ngokujwayelekile. Phela, kusukela kumama nobaba, ngubani okufanele anakekele futhi abe nesiguli, ngokungazelelwe abe abaphathi abanzi. Leli qhinga liphutha futhi ngoba liyanqanda ingane ngokusekelwa kwabazali uma enenkinga.

Ukuvinjelwa empilweni yengane kuyadingeka, kodwa kumele kuvezwe ngokucacile futhi kuchazwe, futhi ngamunye wabo kufanele abe nemingcele ethile - yobudala, isikhathi, indawo.

Kunokusizwa?

Indlela efanele yokuxazulula izinkinga zalolu hlobo ikhuthaza intsha ukuthi ikhulume. Kodwa kunoma yikuphi, hhayi ukuziphatha kahle noma ukusongela. Lokhu kufanele kube yingxoxo ebangela isifiso somntwana nesifiso sokuziqonda, phendula imibuzo evuselela umphefumulo futhi athole iziphetho ezinhle. Kubalulekile ukuqala ingxoxo enjalo hhayi ngokubhalwa kwephutha lezingane kanye nesethulo semiphumela yabo, kodwa ngemibuzo-abasindisi:

• Ucabangani mayelana nogwayi (utshwala, izidakamizwa)?

• Ucabanga ukuthi angifuni ukuthi uyisebenzise?

• Ngabe yini, ngombono wakho, ngingakwenzela wena ukuze ungabe usakwenza futhi?

• Ufuna ukungibuza noma yini enye?

Uma abazali bebheka umbono wengane, umbono wabantwana uthandwa kakhulu ngabazali. Ukuzikhethela okunjalo, hhayi ukuthinta ingxoxo yokuziqhenya kwengane abazali babonisa isithakazelo esiqotho emphefumulweni wengane, ngakho-ke, banelungelo lokulindela kuye izimpendulo ezifanayo eziqotho. Futhi ukuqonda okufanayo kuzosungulwa. Futhi akuyona nje isinyathelo sokuqala sokuxazulula inkinga, ngoba, ngokusho kokuhlakanipha kwasekuqaleni, okungaphezu kwengxenye yonke iyaqala.

Bheka.

I-MENSHCHIKOV yaseRoma, uMcebisi ngokuvuselelwa:

- Noma yikuphi ukuthembela kufanele kubhekwe njengezifo ezinezinhlangothi ezine: eziphilayo, ezengqondo, ezenhlalakahle nezingokomoya. Futhi ukwelashwa kufanele kwenziwe ngezinkomba ezine ngesikhathi esisodwa: ukunakekelwa kwezokwelapha, ukusekelwa kwengqondo kwengqondo onolwazi, ukujwayela kwezenhlalo kanye nokuhlinzeka ngamathuba okukhula ngokomoya.

Farewell.

U-Irina BORISEVICH, udokotela-wengqondo, isazi sezinambuzane:

- Kulula futhi kulula ukuphatha umlutha wezingane kanye nentsha kunabantu abadala. Kunzima ngabazali bami. Baqiniseka ngokugcwele ukuthi wonke umuntu wenza into efanele. Kodwa izimpande zenkinga ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwezingane nabazali, futhi babuyela emuva kakhulu. Abazali bathambekele ekuboneni izingane into yokuqaphela amathemba abo angagcwaliseki, ukucabanga kwabo. Kodwa kufanele kube-nje into yothando. Lena umuzwa okhethekile wangaphakathi. Futhi ingane ingabuyiselwa ngempela kuphela lapho abazali bayo bezwa lokhu ukuzwa.