Ngeshwa, uhlobo lomuntu onjalo empilweni yethu aluvamile, kodwa uma uhlangabezane naye, lugcine futhi ungavumeli ukuhamba. Ngakho ungabona kanjani umuntu onjalo omuhle esixukwini? Ukunamathela kumbono wokubonakala komuntu onothando oluhle kakhulu, kuyisiko ukuhlukanisa izici ezinjengomzimba omuhle wezemidlalo, amahlombe abanzi kanye nemisipha emuva, izandla ezinhle ngeminwe ende futhi emincane futhi, ngokuyinhloko, iphumu elide. Kuyinto lesi sithombe, ngokusho kwamantombazane nabesifazane abaningi, bafihle ngemuva kokubukeka kwabo umfanekiso wesilisa osondelene nesithandwa. Kodwa, ukuze uqiniseke ngamaphesenti angu-100 ukuthi lesi sithombe sizoziphendulela futhi, uma uzama ekubukeni okunjalo, uzothola umfana ophelele embhedeni okulingana ne "ikati esakeni". Kumele kukhunjulwe ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi ukubukeka kuyakhohlisa, futhi ngezikhathi ezithile ama-stereotypes azilahla wona. Kulesi simo, lokho ngeke kuphinde kudumise futhi ungalahlekelwa ithemba lokuthi amadoda anjalo akhona, okokuqala, ungaphishekeli ukubonakala okuhle, kodwa unake umuntu ovamile. Khumbula ukuthi i-Casanova ethandekayo kanye ne-part-time uDon Juan, ihlala kuwo wonke umuntu, hhayi ngisho nezemidlalo ukwakha indoda. Lapha into eyinhloko ikhono lakho lokuvusa lezi zimfanelo kuwo futhi kuphela lapho ungenza "umshini wangempela wobulili" ovela kumuntu. Ngakho-ke, kanjani ukwenza amadoda afanelekayo avela emadodeni, ngaleyo ndlela ugcwalise impilo yakho ngothando nokuthanda?
Okokuqala, khumbula ukuthi ukuze wenze umfana wakho omuhle abe ngumfana embhedeni, udinga, okokuqala, ukuthi uzishintshe ngokwakho kanye nokuziphatha kwakho ngqo kumuntu kanye nokuphila kwakho okusondelene. Uma uqala kabusha ukumfundisa ngaphandle kokuguqula ngokwakho, kungashintsha kungabi ukukuqonda futhi kumane, kunzima kakhulu, unikeze ingxenye.
Ngakho, isinyathelo sokuqala ekuguqulweni komuntu ube ngumthandi ohle, kufanele kube ushintsho lwakho. Zama ukubheka impilo yakho yobulili nawe ngokwakho ngenye indlela, zenzele izinyathelo ezintsha nokuthuthukiswa ukuze unciphise ukusondelana kwakho. Ngendlela, ungakhohlwa ngalesi sigaba ukuveza imizwelo emihle kumuntu okhethiweyo.
Isigaba sesibili kufanele kube ukuhlaziywa kwakho okungaqondakali kokuphila kwakho konke kanye naye. Zama ukukhumbula lezo zikhathi lapho nonke niqala futhi wena, njengabantwana besikole, ushiswe ngothando, okukukhohlise uthakazelisayo kanye nobulili. Bheka ukuthi kwenzekani manje - ungubani, nokuthi ungubani. Cabanga ngalokhu, kodwa unayo yini ukuhlobana nomfanekiso wesifazane ongcono olele embhedeni. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukufuna ukuthi omunye abe yilokho ongakho, lokhu ngeke kube nomphumela omuhle. Ngakho-ke, kufanele uqonde ngokucacile amaphutha akho nama-punctures futhi ngaleyo ndlela uqiniseke ukuthi wena, hhayi isoka lakho, ungawavumeli.
Ngemuva kwalokhu, kakade esigabeni sesithathu, zama ukuphenduka okungcono kakhulu kunkosikazi omuhle, ukunika umuntu wakhe isifiso nesisa. Ngokuvamile ngangokunokwenzeka, zama ukumhlonipha, umenze amncoma futhi akhulume ukuthi ungumuntu omncane kangakanani. Lokhu kuyomcasula ukuba athathe isinyathelo emuva kuwe ukuze ahlangabezane futhi aphendule ngendlela enhle.
Isigaba sesine sithi udinga ukushayela phezulu echibini lokuthakazela. Yenza ucansi, ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuxhumana nabathandekayo ngolimi lomdlandla nomzimba. Ungacabangi ngezinkinga, izinqatshelwe kanye nezinkolelo. Lokhu, ngokuqinisekile, kuzosiza othandekayo wakho ukuba azizwe "esitokisini sakhe" futhi abambe iqhaza ekukhululweni kwesifiso nobulili. Ngempela, othandweni, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuxhumana kwemizimba, hhayi izinkulumo ezinde futhi eziyinkimbinkimbi ngothando. Kuyintandokazi, ukumbumbana nokuqabula okungasho okungaphezu kwanoma yikuphi amagama lapho.
Isigaba sesishiyagalombili endleleni eya empilweni yokuziphatha ngokobulili enomfanekiso omuhle, ifika njengomsizi wesine. Yeka ukuzilawula ngesikhathi usondelene naye. Khohlwa ngehlazo nokuqina, uma ufuna ukumemeza, yenza ngokuzwakalayo ngangokunokwenzeka. Yazi, lolu hlobo lokuziphatha luzomholela ngisho nangaphezulu futhi luvusa isifiso "sokuhlukumeza".
Futhi ekugcineni, isigaba sokugcina sesithupha. Isisekelo salo sisezingeni lokuthi udinga ukuba, ngokuvamile ngangokunokwenzeka, unikeze othandekayo wakho ukuthi abe nobulili. Futhi, ngendlela, hhayi nje ngokocansi nje kuphela, kodwa ubulili nezakhi zamageyimu-ukudlala, ngaphambilini akuzange kwenziwe amageyimu angenasimo nokunye nokunye. Konke lokhu kuzobonakalisa ngokungaqondi kwakhe izifiso ezinkulu zobulili, ngaleyo ndlela kukhishwa izifiso nezifiso zakhe ezingathandeki. Lapha, lo muntu uzosebenza ngokugcwele ezingeni lokungazi, okuzobandakanya umsebenzi wakhe wobulili wande kabili. Khumbula ukuthi ngocansi, njengokwebuciko, into esemqoka yukudala futhi isifiso sokuzama. Faka lezi zici ezimbili empilweni yakho yobulili, futhi uzobona ukuthi lokhu kuzothinta kanjani umlingani wakho womphefumulo, kumnike ukugqugquzela ngokocansi ukwenza umhlaba ube embhedeni wakho.
Futhi ekugcineni, khumbula ukwenza umthandi, kodwa ngamanye amazwi, uCasanova kusuka kumnandi wakhe akalokothi afune ukulala naye, ngaleyo ndlela ugxeke ukuziphatha kwakhe embhedeni. Ungamsoli ngokungakwazi ukuphumula naye futhi ujabule. Ungamlahli ngesifiso sakhe sobudlelwane bobulili nawe kanye naso sonke uthando lwakhe, phendulanani. Uma ugcwalisa yonke le mithetho, ngokuqinisekile uzothola i-Hercules ephelele kunazo zonke futhi engenakulinganiswa, onomgomo wayo oyinhloko uzoba ukujabulisa. Inhlanhla!