Ngokuqinisekile, wonke owesifazane ohambweni lwakhe uhlangabezane nabakhulekeli abahlukumezayo. Naphezu kokuthi ukubukeka kwabo kungaba okuhlukile: okukhazimulayo, okucabangelayo, okunengqondo, okungenangqondo, - ukukhathazeka kuvame ukubonakaliswa kubamele bezocansi ezinamandla. Ngakho uvelaphi? Kudlule ifa njengombala wendwele noma ukuma kwempumu, kubonakala kuneminyaka yobudala noma kuvela ngenxa yokucindezelwa kwezimo zangaphandle?
Izazi zengqondo zihlukanisa izinhlanzi zamadoda zibe izigaba eziningana, ezixhomeke esimweni sengqondo nesimo sokuziphatha.
Isigaba sokuqala somuntu-sizalwa singama-introverts esilisa. Bangasho ukuthi bathathwa yizwe labo. Ukunciphisa okunzima kunzima kakhulu ukuthwala, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi kuyesabisa, futhi kubangele ukunyakaza okuqotho. Lapho bekhuluma, amadoda anjalo asheshe asebenzise amandla awo, futhi imizwa ithatha indawo yokukhathazeka, ikakhulukazi uma kukhona intombazane enenjabulo, ejabule eduze kwabo. Ngenxa yalokhu, bamane bephoqelelwe ngezikhathi ezithile ukuba baxoshe, bazilahlekele iqiniso elizungezile. Lokhu akusho ukuthi umlingani wakho akakunaki, ukuthi ucabanga ngendlela engafanele, ngokuphambene nalokho, uyathembela ngokuphelele futhi uthemba ukuthi uyamqonda, kodwa ngenye indlela akakwazi ukuyiveza.
Isigaba sesibili somshanelo esingabhekana namadoda enhlobo eqinile-enobudlova. Ziyizinto ezikhuthele, ezisebenza ngamandla, ezithengisayo nezethempeli, ezibeka zonke izinto emashalofini ngendlela ethile. Uma lolu hlobo lwamadoda luzibophezele, lukhuni, ngakho-ke noma lubiza kangakanani, luya njalo ekupheleni futhi lufeze imigomo yabo. Indoda ayikwazi ukuziqonda yona, ayikwazi ukubhekana nemicabango yakhe nezinkanuko zakhe, ngakho-ke uzama ukubuyisela umyalelo ekuphileni kwakhe kwangempela nokuzungezile.
Abesilisa abanobudlova obunzima bafundisa njalo owesifazane futhi bamangalele ngokunganaki, kuyilapho becabanga ukuthi isichazamazwi somfazi siwukuhle nokuhle. Kungcono ukuxhumana nabantu abanjalo ngosizo lwemvume egcwele. Lesi yisimo lapho kungcono ukuvumelana kunokuchaza ukuthi kungani umuntu engafuni ukwenza lokhu.
Naphezu kokuntuleka okukhulu kokukhathazeka, la madoda anenhloso enhle futhi asheshe ahambisane nesiteji somsebenzi, ashintshe ukuthunyelwa kwawo, athuthuke ngokushesha, futhi azuze lokho awakhulelwe. Ngakho-ke, makangabi nabuhlungu, aphumule futhi athembele kulowo muntu, uyoba njengodonga lwamatshe.
Isigaba sesithathu sihlanganisa izidakamizwa eziphazamisayo . Kunoma yikuphi isimo, amadoda anjalo ajabule futhi ahlale ekhononda ngezinkinga ezihlukahlukene zezigameko ezingahle zenzeke kubo kuphela, kodwa nazo zonke ezinye. Ukukhathazeka okunjalo kusekelwe ekukhuthazeni ukukhathazeka. Lezi zibhamu zihlale zitshela abanye ukuthi izinto zimbi kanjani futhi zonke izinsuku zizoqhubeka zibi kakhulu, futhi zona ngokwazo zithemba ukuthi zizoqinisekiswa futhi zidideke. Lolu hlobo lobuntu lubizwa ngokuthi yi-constitutional-depression, ngakho into ebaluleke kakhulu lapho uxhumana nabantu abanjalo, ungenwa igciwane nemibono eyinkimbinkimbi empilweni kanye nokugcoba okuphakade. Uyazi ukuthi asikho isizathu esihle sokukwazi ukushintsha isimo sabo sengqondo ngokuqondene nalokho okwenzekayo, kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukubikezela kanye nezinkathazo ze-man-nerds akusho lutho, ngokusemthethweni, ngokusekelwe ekuzweleni okuthandayo. Noma yimuphi owesifazane obudlelwane nomuntu onjalo uzizwa engavimbelwe. Kodwa-ke, kulawo madoda, ubumnyama nesithunzi. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi ashintshe wena futhi ashiye umndeni wakho. Baqala ukucabanga ngokuhlukumezeka futhi sebevele becabanga ukuthi izinkinga, izifo kanye nama-scandal alandela, ngakho-ke yonke imicabango yemikhankaso "yasekhohlo" iwa ngokushesha.
Ngokuvamile, kunezinhlobo eziningi zamabhomu nama-psychologists abone isithombe esijwayelekile somuntu onjalo nezici ezivame kakhulu nezici.
- Ngeke bakwazi ukuhlukanisa okwesibini kusuka kokuyinhloko, okungukuthi, bahlala behamba ngezicucu.
- Abanqatshelwe ukuhleka kwemizwa, ngoba i-anecdote eyodwa ingabangela ukuhleka noma ukumomotheka, kodwa kuphela ukucabanga kwefilosofi, okuwukuthi, njengokubusa, iphetha kunobumnyama.
- Ukuziphatha kwabo akulungile, kungenzeka ngesikhathi, isibonelo, lapho abantu behola ingxoxo elula, elula, ejabule, ngenkathi ehlala futhi efaka amasenti akhe amahlanu, ukuthi konke kubi noma ukuthi kukhonjisiwe ngokungalungile endaweni ethile.
Ngisho noma okhethiweyo wakho engumuntu, ungagxili ekuqhathaniseni kwakhe, futhi ngaphezu kwalokho, zama ukungathobeli ithonya lakhe. Mane nje uthathe njengokuntula okungathandeki komuntu. Kodwa-ke, kunoma yikuphi, ungavumelana nabo ukuze uthule, kepha ngesikhathi esifanayo wenze njalo ngendlela yakho. Ngenxa yalokhu, owesifazane unokuhlakanipha, okwenziwe kahle ngobuqili.