Naphezu kokuthi le nkinga ixoxwa ngaso sonke isikhathi othisha, izazi zengqondo kanye nezenzululwazi, akukho nesisombululo esilandelayo esifanele emndenini ngamunye. Nokho, kusukela ezindebeni zabantu ababhekene nokukhuliswa kwengane ngaphandle kobaba, uvame ukuzwa ama-postulates amabili aphikisana ngokuphelele.
Ukucindezela kungokuqala - "Izingane zidinga ubaba, ngoba ngaphandle kwakhe bazokhula ngaphansi"
Ngokuvamile, ukuqonda okukhona kukhona, noma kunjalo, ucabangela amacala aqondile lapho ingane ihlala eyakhe, kodwa empeleni ubaba ohlukile, uyasabeka ngenxa yemiphumela yemiphumela yokulandela leso simiso. Iminye imindeni ifana, kunalokho, igumbi lomphakathi ngamakhelwane angakhululekile, ngenkathi ngesikhathi esifanayo eshukumisa ukulahlwa kwesahlukaniso ngesidingo sokuhlala ndawonye ngenxa yabantwana. Uma ubheka isithombe esinzima kangaka, uyazibuza ukuthi ngabe ingane idinga uyise ongathandi noma unina noma yena. Ungubani uyise womzali, okungcono engakhathaleli ukukhathazeka nezinkinga zomntanakho nomama wakhe, futhi uma emthuka kabi ngisho noma ephakamisa isandla sakhe emcabangweni wengane? Kusukela kuleso "ubaba" onjalo, izingane ngokwazo zihlupheka, okokuqala, futhi umama, elandela isimiso se "ingane nuzhenets", uzilahla ebukhosini obude futhi obukhulu nomlingani ocindezelweyo. Pho-ke kungani owesifazane osekhulile akufanele akhiphe ithuba lokuthola injabulo yakhe futhi abelane ngayo nengane yakhe? Ngezinye izikhathi kungcono ukushiya ubaba omubi, ukuphazamisa ukuphepha nokuthuthukiswa okuvamile kwezingane.
Okunye okukodwa kokuqiniseka okufanayo kuyisimo lapho owesifazane, esekhathele ukubekezela kwakhe futhi exazulula isahlukaniso, ngokuzumayo ashada nomuntu wokuqala ukuhlangana, ngaphandle kokucabanga ukuthi umama omusha angase abe mbi kakhulu kunomyeni wakhe wangaphambili. Akufanele usheshe, ucabange ngezingane, ukhethe kuqala umyeni wakho ngokwakho, ngoba, ekuthandeni wena nezingane zakho, uyakuba ngubaba omuhle kubo.
Ukuthonya okwesibili - "Umama uyakwazi ukuthatha indawo yengane kababa"
Ukuphakade, ukudala ubutha phakathi kobulili kwaholela ekubukeni kwembono yabesifazane emphakathini, futhi i-postulate ezwakala ngenhla cishe yayakhiwe ngabesifazane ababelana nabo. Kodwa-ke, isifiso esinjalo sokubonisa ukuzimela nokushiya izwi lokugcina ngokwabo ekuxabaneni mayelana nokukhuliswa kwezingane, senza owesifazane ekuthunjweni amaphutha ambalwa amabi.
Okokuqala . Ingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ibulili, ivela ezimweni ezihle kakhulu, lapho abazali bobabili bekhulisa ingane yakhe. Impikiswano yokuthi umfana uyinhloko, futhi intombazane ingenza ngaphandle, ayikwazi ukumelana nokugxekwa. Ngakho-ke, okhulile kuphela nonina wentombazane esikhathini esizayo kuyoba nezinkinga ekubhekaneni nensimu eqinile kakhulu. Amadoda ayohlala engacacisiswanga futhi amesabe, okwenza kube nokuphendula okungenele ezenzweni zabo.
Okwesibili. Izingane kusukela ekuzalweni kufanele zibonane abazali ababoniswa uthando, hhayi izingxabano zabo. Lokho ingane ibona njengengane, kamuva i-onpereneset emndenini wayo. Uma owesifazane owodwa efundisa amadoda kuphela ukudelela nokuthukuthela, ngokuqinisekile lokhu kuyothinta ubuhlobo bomntwana osekhulile kubantu bobulili obuhlukile: intombazane izovele ikopishe le nzondo ebantwini, futhi umfana uzokhipha amagama omama empilweni yakhe futhi aziphathe njenge "Inja nesikhumba", noma, ngokufanayo, kuzofuna ukugcina ibanga phakathi kwabo nabesifazane.
Okwesithathu . Iningi lezinkinga ezivela lapho ukhulisa ingane ngumama ongashadile zifika phezulu ngemuva kokufinyelela eminyakeni yobudala. Ukukhula ngaphandle kobaba, ekuqaleni abaziboni njengamalungu omndeni ophelele. Imiphumela yocwaningo olunjalo lwezingane ezikhulile ingaba nzima kakhulu. Le nsizwa, engangenandaba nokuzala ingane, izoshiya kalula intombazane ekhulelwe, ngoba umama ebuntwaneni wamgqugquzela ukuthi uyise wezemfundo akadingi ngempela. Ngokufanayo, intombazane enethemba lokuthi ingayithatha ingane kayise, iyakwamukela imfundo ngokuzidela.
Muva nje, iningi labesifazane abangashadile abaneminyaka engama-30-35 ubudala, befuna ukuthola umyeni, banquma ukukhulelwa kumnikeli ongaziwa futhi babelethe ingane ngaphandle kobaba. Kulesi sinyathelo, abesifazane bavame ukucindezelwa izinkinga zabo ezingqondweni ezingaguquki, abazethemba ukuzixazulula ngentengo yengane.
Okokuqala, abafana nalabo bafuna ukulahla isihlamba esingenasithunzi salabo ababazungezile: iminyaka iyaqhubeka, kanti izingane zizovuka. Njengoba benqume ukuqothulwa ngokweqile, bakholelwa ukuthi umphakathi uzolahla inhlonipho ngenhlonipho, kuyilapho ungazinaki ngokuphelele izintshisekelo zezingane ezizayo.
Okwesibili, ukuntuleka komuntu ovamile noma umlingani ohlala njalo kule minyaka kubonisa ukuthi abesifazane abanjalo abazi nje ukuthi bangazi kanjani abantu, noma, okubaluleke kakhulu, isikhathi eside ukugcina ubuhlobo nabo. Ukuhluleka ukuqonda imbongolo ehlukile kubangela ukuthi abesifazane baphoqa bonke abazokwazi ukuyoshada, futhi ngenxa yalokho bakholelwa ukuthi indlela yokuphuma iyingane encane ekhulelwe. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokumboza ingane ngezinkinga zabo, kungcono ukuphendukela kwengqondo ye-psychoanalyst bese uyashada ngokujabula.
Okwesithathu, umsebenzi owenziwe ngokuphindaphindiwe uvame ukuphikisana nokuphila komuntu okuphumelelayo komuntu wesifazane, ikakhulukazi uma isici esiyinhloko somlingiswa wakhe sifisa ukuyala nokulawula. Ukwenqaba noma yikuphi ukuphikisa nemibono ephikisana nomuntu kungase kube usizo emkhakheni wezamabhizinisi, noma kunjalo, ebuhlotsheni bomuntu umuntu ongavamile uyohlupheka naye. Ngenxa yokuthi akekho ozoyala indlu, owesifazane onjalo unquma ukuba nomntwana ngale njongo ukuze amfundise ngokuqinile futhi ngokuvumelana nemigomo yakhe, futhi enye yezindlela esheshayo nezindlela ezilula kakhulu, ukusekela ngokwengeziwe isifiso sakhe sokuzimela, ukuvakashela amabhange.
Lokho okuyiqiniso okwenziwe ngempela kunzima ukukuqonda, noma kunjalo, imithetho eminye jikelele ingahle ikhethwe.
Okokuqala, uma ubaba engakwazi ukulimaza ingane ngokokuziphatha noma ngokomzimba, akusizi ngalutho ukungabambeleli.
Okwesibili, ukukhethwa kwabafundi bokuqala abayisimanga akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu yengane.
Okwesithathu, kungcono ukulinda umshado ojabulisayo eminyakeni engama-40 futhi ubelethe indoda kunokusheshisa ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho ngendleko yengane.
Okwesine, kuyadingeka ukuthi ufunde ukuqonda ubulili obuqinile, ukuze ungayitholi injabulo yomndeni ogcwele, hhayi yena, noma izingane ezizayo.
Lezi zeluleko zilungile ngempela, kepha uma ingane yakho ingenayo ubaba, okokuqala, ungagxila kuyo yonke into. Zama ukuqhubeka uthatha indawo ekhuthele emphakathini, ujabule, ngaphandle kokunciphisa izandla zakho, ukudala injabulo yakho. Kubantwana, isibonelo esihle siyobazali abajabule, kunokuthukuthela umhlaba wonke omhlophe, futhi uma uthola indoda ezoba kahle futhi ezolile nawe, ngubani ozoba ngumlingani wakho wesikhathi esizayo, ingane izomamukela kalula njengobaba futhi ithole ukukhuliswa okuhle emndenini ogcwele.